Strollerderby : santa

New Babies Wrapped in Holiday Stockings

JeanneSager — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 17:46:00 GMT

If I had a Martha Stewart bone hidden somewhere in my body, this story is the one that would make it come busting out.

Volunteers have been showing up every holiday at a Houston-area maternity ward, their arms full of Christmas stockings to wrap the newborn babies in.

The ward invites Santa along, and every infant gets a chance to have his or her first visit with Saint Nick, bundled up tight in their bright red bunting, er, stocking. It makes me want to make my own pile, just so I can show up for the delivery! This year, eighty stockings were sewn up by the nuns and volunteers at St. Joseph's Hospital, and the new parents were allowed to take them home to hang for future Christmases.

The decade-old practice is adorable; and so are the little old ladies in this video. Especially the nuns (who we'd assume don't have any kids?), who are just as baby-happy as the rest of us!

Image: Houston Chronicle

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Lego Santa Crab Will Frighten Children Into Being Good All Year

Brett Singer — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 23:30:00 GMT

Radio host Max Kellerman once joked that Santa was just a story goyim children were told so that they would behave themselves. (Or something like that.) So from Gizmodo (originally from someplace else, see below for the link trail) we give you – THE EVIL LEGO SANTA CRAB!

Hide the children! Unless they've been bad this year, in which case you could use THE EVIL LEGO SANTA CRAB as a deterrent to next year's bad behavior. Because wouldn't you behave if you thought this thing was coming after you?

It kind of reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer makes a clown bed for Bart, but the clown is a hideous and frightening image that gives Bart nightmares. (According to Wikipedia, the "Can't sleep, clown will eat me" thing was based on an actual incident from Simpsons writer Mike Reiss' childhood.) In other words, don't show this page to your kids. Unless you want to frighten them into behaving. If that's your goal, give it a shot – I mean, look at that thing. I'm a little scared.

Source: Gizmodo via Andrew Colunga via Neatorama

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editors — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Didn’t get what you wanted for Christmas? You say, what you really wanted was a well-designed stroller? Like the Quinny Buzz 4 with Maxi-Cosi Mico car seat, perhaps? The Babble Playground is here to make your Christmas wishes come true. If you’ve got a camera and kids – snap away and enter your best winter or holiday photo here. Look at these little ones – don’t they look festive?

Enter today and win over $1,000 in prizes from Quinny and Maxi-Cosi. Happy Holidays! - April Peveteaux

Is This Why We Escalate the Holidays?

Miriam Axel-Lute — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 17:01:00 GMT

Is some of the holiday excess we see a symptom of parents trying to recapture the thrill of introducing a special time to their youngest kids?

I ponder that in my biweekly column for the local paper this week:

"If you enjoy the winter holidays, as my family decidedly does, introducing them to a toddler is a blast. Our daughter wakes up each morning (and after each nap) asking "Is it a new day?" because she wants to snap another felt ornament on our advent calendar ("alendar calendar" to her). She hugs the Christmas tree. She wants to take walks to see her favorite moving lit-up reindeer contraptions in neighbors' yards. . . .

Right now it's so easy. She's full of wonder anyway; everything is new and exciting. . . . In fact, if we act excited about something, we have an 80 percent chance of her being excited too. I remember clearly how last year, when she was one and a half, getting to eat a cookie first thing in the morning and getting a gift of a container of raisins that was under her control, to be eaten at whatever pace she wanted, was enough to make a red-letter day.

This year, the simple little idea of shining our shoes on Christmas Eve is so exciting she can barely wait and keeps lobbying to do it earlier.

I think it was the shoes thing that made me realize: I am in grave danger of trying to recapture this thrill, this sense of being able to effortlessly offer my children wonder, every December. I know that no matter how much she might continue to like the holidays, it won't be like this again. But who wouldn't want it to be?

Suddenly I had a flash of compassion for the parents escalating their purchases each year or fighting to hold on to their kids' belief in Santa one more season. Even if you're not facing peer-instigated disappointment from older kids who didn't get the latest whatsit, who wouldn't feel the urge to keep reaching after the irreplaceable delight of a kid facing her first snow, first menorah, first stocking?"

Here's the rest. Does it ring true, or am I off base?

Photo by OctopusHat.

More by this author:

Gramps Goes Christmas Crazy with 20,000 Santas

JeanneSager — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 17:58:00 GMT

Jean-Guy Laquerre really likes Christmas. No, we mean he REALLY likes Christmas.The grandfather from Boucherville, Canada has cornered the market on Santa spirit with more than twenty thousand of them.

The retired teacher has been named as the biggest collector of Santa Claus memorabilia on the entire planet, earning his place in the Guinness World Records for 2009.

It all started with a papier mache Santa, to this day his favorite in the collection. But Grandpa Jean-Guy has moved on to inflatable Santas for the outside, Kriss Kringle shower curtains and Father Christmas pie plates (check out the photo gallery of some of his favorites at the Mirror). There are stuffed Santas and Santa statues, Santas for the tree and Santas set up in front of the TV.

And somehow, his grandkids aren't embarrased by all this Father Christmas fervor. Perhaps the craziest (and sweetest) piece of this Christmas story is the response of Jean-Guy's sixteen-year-old grandson and nine-year-old granddaughter. They invite their friends over to check out Grandpa's collection!

Image: The Mirror

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Babble Talk: Staying Home and Skipping the Santa Myth

Miriam Axel-Lute — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 21:10:00 GMT

All around me it seems, my peers and my fellow Babble writers are exploring putting their collective feet down about holiday traditions. Perhaps it's that we feel emboldened to declare our own rules once our kids start getting older, or maybe it's just time for a little generational power shift. Who knows.

One of the major issues is who goes where when. Jeanne Sager, in her bad parent column "Sorry Can't Make It" has a firm answer: We're staying put. I seem to be luckier than Jeanne in that I generally enjoy the family holiday gatherings I'm expected to attend, but I know plenty of people in her boat, and I recognize all of her other points: The non-festiveness of travel, of being in company mode, of being expected to dress up the kid. I would add to that the sheer exhaustion of decisions and logistics, since in my extended family we've never settled on a default plan—I think we've spent Christmas day in five different places over the past eight years.

So we, too, have decided to make it our new default to stay in our very own house for most of Christmas day itself, with a drive to nearby grandparents for dinner. It feels like declaring a center, and lets us create a Christmas tradition that is our family's own, instead of trying to awkwardly re-create the childhood Christmases of one of our families of origin.

We're still getting in the car on the 26th for a long drive, it's true, but somehow that feels different.

Meanwhile, Sasha Brown-Worsham won't let her child believe in Santa, and commenters seem to think she's taking an extreme and Grinchy stance. I never would have expected it, having been a believe-until-late kid myself, but as a parent, I'm with Sasha. For me it doesn't have to do with trauma from mall santas, or even wanting to avoid waiting in line to see one. Nor does it have to do with being a humbug or a Grinch—if anything we go a bit overboard with emphasizing the magic and stories of the season. If my daughter decides for herself to believe in Santa, as some kids who are explicitly told otherwise do, that won't bother me.

Nor I don't mind telling the story. I've read Rudolph in the original rhyming couplets a dozen times in the past week. In fact, the way we've decided to handle Santa's omnipresence is just to add a bunch of other stories about gift-giving figures (La Befana, Holle, St. Nicholas) to my daughter's repetoire of seasonal tales.

The thing that gets me is how people suddenly get seriously invested in our children really believing something that isn't true, as if that's required in order to have a sense of wonder about the season. Not just telling a fun story, but going to major contortions to make it seem plausible (different handwriting on the tags etc.) and having hysterics if another kid lets the truth slip (or a parent opts out of the game). I am also pretty creeped out by the idea that some random old guy is keeping track of your behavior and is going to judge you worthy of gifts or not a year later. How very Calvinist. Besides, no parent I've heard of actually withholds gifts for bad behavior any more.

There's also the story I remember hearing of the girl who kept asking Santa for things she knew her parents couldn't afford, and kept getting them. When she learned, she was consumed with guilt. Yippee! There's the Christmas spirit for you!

So, while I won't be on a crusade to spoil other families' Santa charades, we're not playing, thanks.

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It's Mr. Santa, and He's Nasty

JeanneSager — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:34:00 GMT

The Santa Claus at a mall in Edmonton, Canada has a serious case of the nasties. The guy hired to ho, ho, ho all day has started yelling at the parents who snap their own pictures of their kids on his lap instead of paying a $14 fee for a "basic picture package."

Santa says the parents who take their own pictures are basically shoplifting. Apparently he hasn't heard Santa's supposed to be the giving type.

"What message are you sending your children; 'Look Tommy and Sally, see what your parents stole you for Christmas'," Lyle Young told the Edmonton Sun.

Before you start thinking parents are somehow gypping the miserly Mr. Kringle, Young is paid a flat fee by the photography company that runs the mall Santa station. He gets paid whether parents pony up or not. And the mall's manager has said he'd be willing to pay a Santa to sit there and let parents take all the free pictures they want.

As a photographer, personally, I'm not big on the pictures you get when you sit down with Santa or any major character. The kids are stressed, the photographers are rarely trained, the lighting is terrible, and the photos look like you-know-what. Even the trained photographers don't have the same eye for my child that I do. I'm big on candid photos, where they spend the entire time coaxing the kids to "look at the camera" and "say cheese." You know what happens when my daughter says cheese? She closes her eyes and puts on the world's goofiest grin - it's the ham look developed after years of being tortured by her mother the photographer.

But even parents who don't care a fig about the artistry want that picture for something special. Usually, the store pictures are marked with a brand, so short of taking them home, scanning them in and working with special software to erase that mark, you can't reproduce the picture to send out to family or friends anyway. So taking one of your own is often the only way to get a picture that you can share, or a picture you can make in the right size for the frame you have in mind.

Then there's that money. Fourteen dollars may not sound like much to Lyle Young, but to a family that's out shopping with just a few dollars in their pockets, it can be a big dent in the budget. When their child sees Santa, however, should parents have to say, "sorry, honey, Santa charges too much?" Come on, he's Santa! And, according to the story in the Sun, the price of actually sitting on Santa's lap is free - there's nothing that says parents HAVE to pay. The photography studio running the booth has made its own mistake there.

Personally, I try to take my daughter out to see Santa when he's working for charity, where my fee for the crappy picture goes straight into the charity's coffers - and the "photographer" volunteering for the day is more than happy to let me shoot away.

Image: Root Cellar

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Worst Santa Photos of All Time - Post Yours

Cole Gamble — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:30:00 GMT

This came to me on a recent visit to the mall santa.

Moments before this picture my son was skittering about with a broad smile on his face. And then this happened. Satan always chooses the most inconvenient times to possess your child. Believe it or not, this was the best picture of the bunch.

Then I scoped the Internet for some more tasty pics and came up with these:

Ever place a restraining order against Santa?

What you don't know about this picture is Santa's legs are made of molten lava.

Santa is doing this as part of his community service.

Now it's your turn. I've started a Babble Playground group for you to post your bad Santa picture. You'll find the group HERE.

Merry Creepy Christmas!

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Babble Talk: The Easter Bunny Can House Santa

JeanneSager — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 21:31:00 GMT

Poor Santa. For about four weeks, he gets to play bad cop - so we don't have to. For a month, every time they even think of being the slightest bit naughty, there's that warning "Santa's watching."

Is it any wonder they stop believing?

The little girl in my favorite edition thus far of Kids Say the Cutest Things here on Babble might be switching up her favorite holiday. Let me lay out the evidence:

Mom- you have to eat your peas. Girl- I don't want to. Mom- If you don't eat your peas then Santa won't come. Girl (mutters under her breath)- The easter bunny would never make me do this.

Poor guy's going to get a complex . . . or lose the battle. His cookie fix is starting to make more sense all the time.

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Teacher Tells Kids: Santa's Not Real

JeanneSager — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 19:59:00 GMT

Alert NORAD: Santa has been taken down by the substitute teacher at the Blackshaw Lane Primary School in Royton, England. The mean Ms. Grinch told her classroom of seven-year-olds that Father Christmas is a big fat fake.

And parents are complaining about campus security guards stepping in as substitute teachers? The sub told the kids "it's your parents who leave out presents on Christmas Day," when the class started to get out of control during a discussion about Christmas.

Because this substitute apparently needs a refresher course in how to deal with children, here's a quick lesson. First rule of Santa: Don't talk about Santa (unless you know kids' beliefs). Second rule of Santa: you know how this goes people.

Kids will eventually learn the big guy doesn't exist, and parents everywhere will lose their best-valued fall/winter behavior modification method. Most parents hope for later rather than sooner, and they hope the magic dies accidentally - not via a callous adult who decides she needs to shock some kids. If the kids were being rowdy, whatever happened to the good old-fashioned, "Santa's watching?"

Perhaps I'm just cranky because I remember my Santa dreams being dashed by a teacher too. Lying in the bed in the nurse's office because of a stomach ache, I could clearly hear all the goings on in the main office - linked to our nurse's station via a narrow, open hallway. The gym teacher, father of one of my classmates, was so busy checking his mailbox that he never noticed me lying there while he talked up what he had to do to get things ready for his kids on Christmas morning . . . including his massive production to make Santa "seem real." Wouldn't you know it - I was seven too.

Do you think adults have the right to throw this one at kids?

Image: PBase.com

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Vonage Offers Free Calls To Santa

Brett Singer — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Voice Over IP company (for the uninitiated, that's "phone calls through your Internet connection") Vonage is offering free phone calls to Santa, as long as you call St. Nick from one of their lines.

Vonage is bringing Santa to life for its customers once again with its annual 1-700-CALLSANTA program. Moms and Dads can help their children call and leave a message for Santa, and the recorded message will be sent to their e-mail address so they know exactly what their child asked Jolly Old St. Nick to bring them. Additionally, for ten randomly selected children, Vonage will grant their special Christmas wish, delivering a toy from their list in Santa’s name.

So I guess the idea is that your kids tell "Santa" what they want and then you buy it for them. Plus a few lucky tots will get one of their wishes for free. (Actually, that sounds more like a gift for the parents in this economy.)

But wait! There's more! If you call after 5pm on December 24th, "your children will hear Santa share the tales of his journey as he delivers toys around the world." So Vonage will help parents shop for their children, and also aid them in perpetuating the illusion that an obese but jolly man flies around every year in a reindeer-powered sleigh to deliver toys to boys and girls worldwide – provided they behave themselves. (I kid. And for the record, I actually believed in Santa for a while despite being Jewish. But it's fun to be Grinchy sometimes.)

Full disclosure: I'm a Vonage customer; I like the service a lot, and recommend it to anyone who asks. There are some little quirks here and there but the price and feature-set more than make up for that. And it's not like my landline phone is perfect.

Back to the point: I think I would have preferred if Vonage had offered to buy something for children in need instead of making it a contest, or donated a dollar for every call made to "Santa" to Unicef or some other worthy organization.

I also wonder if a phone is better than writing a letter to Santa. Don't kids have enough incentives to use electronic means to communicate? If I were raising Santa-believers (I'm not) I think I would prefer that they communicate their heart's desires/greedy toy wishes to Chris Cringle using the good old United States Postal Service.

Of course, as sins of the season go, this one is far lower on the list than matching outfits on the family Holiday card. And probably even lower than sending a Chanukah card with a big ol' fir tree on the front. So if you've got a kid, and Vonage service, give Santa a call. You might even get one of their gifts for free.

Source: Vonage

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Santa Shortage Strikes Germany

JeanneSager — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 14:31:00 GMT

It's no surprise the requirements to be hired on as Santa Claus in Germany are exacting. In Teutonic tradition, the engineering of a German Santa takes stock of the tenor of the voice, the quality of the accent, the background in carols. Are they asking too much?

Apparently, yes. As the European economy falters, there's one employer still searching high and wide for good candidates. Yes, Virginia, in Germany there is a shortage of Santa Clauses.

According to a report in London's Sunday Times, recruitment is off by German Santa placement agencies (yes, they exist) this year in ever section of the country. Compounding the problem is a record number of private parties being thrown by families trying to offset the grim economy with a little holiday cheer. They're trying to book a Santa, and the jolly old man can't make it.

If it sounds silly, check out the paycheck. These Santas - who work the malls as well as the family party circuit, make as much as sixty euros an hour. Using the latest exchange rate, that's about $76 an hour. To smile a lot and be nice to some kids? Sign me up for that gig. Of course, therein lies the paradox. They're good-paying jobs, but they're not handing them out to just anyone. One Berlin-based recruiter told the Times at least ten percent of applicants are turned away because they don't fit the bill.

What does it really take to be a good Santa? They want a low tenor of voice, an extensive repertoire of Christmas songs and poetry, a jollity and spontaneity and a love of children. To top it off, they can't be "too young." Considering some of the mall Santas I've seen here in the states (who'd put the drunk Saint Nick from the parade scene in Miracle on 34th Street to shame), it might behoove American Santa recruiters to take a page out of the German book.

Of course, we might then be struck by the Santa shortage. But wouldn't you rather have too few good Santas than an overabundance of Billy Bobs?

Image: Amazon

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Santa Claus Can Call Them For You

JeanneSager — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 17:56:00 GMT

There's nothing like standing on that long line for the mall Santa, finally getting there, and having your kid reel off his entire list to the big man while a tantrum toddler's screams drown the whole thing out.

The trouble with that unshakeable belief in Santa? They don't need to tell Mom and Dad what they want - "Don't worry Ma, Santa said he'd get it for me." Instead of trying to drag it out of them, a new site lets you order up a Santa call right to your house. Even better? They let you go back in and listen to the whole clip online.

I Am Saint Nick comes from the brains of a dad who was laid off from his job in the tech industry. Matt Steckler opted to harness the new Twilio telephoney technology to have a voice recording of Santa Claus call phone numbers plugged into the site. If the call connects, the recording asks people what they want for Christmas (note to parents: you might want to warn your kids that Santa is a little forgetful . . . and a very busy guy who won't be able to answer questions, the drawback to a machine making the call). After the call ends, the recording is linked to the phone number on the site, allowing anyone who knows your phone number to plug it in and pull up the message.

For parents who are uneasy, the site promises to abide by the federal Children's Online Privacy Protection Act, which allows you to listen to your child's message and ask for the recording to be taken down if you feel they divulged too much personal information, Simply send an e-mail their way.

Kids tend to be a little more forthcoming with Santa Claus than they do with Mom and Dad - or even Grandma and Granda, so this could be your best shot at finding out their true heart's desire. And who doesn't like to hear it coming from their sweet little mouths? So set up your call, then send the whole family online to take a listen.

Image: I Am Saint Nick.com

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XBox Writes Santa Letter for Your Kids

JeanneSager — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 14:06:00 GMT

Vista may not be Microsoft's biggest flub of the year. Hard to believe, I know, but a form letter generator for kids begging for their XBox this holiday might just beat the blue screen of death bombing operating system for the Worst Attempt At Being Useful Award.

To help convince doubting Thomases and Thomasinas that life without an XBox is a fate worse than having Mom pick them up from school in her PJs and curlers, Microsoft is letting kids choose their words from multiple choice drop-down menus. The XBox site lets them pick a recipient, a holiday (Festivus is on there for you Seinfeld fans), a means of celebration and list of four Microsoft products (talk about a monopoly). It even lets them clue you in on why they really deserve your major cash investment - ie. they've been "oder-free" all year long.

Ralphie's ode to his Red Rider BB gun this isn't. The results of my husband taking a spin to convince me he really needs an XBox (sadly, he's only half joking!) were amusing in that Mad Libs kind of way. But if one of these came from a kid, I'd be tempted to send them back to the drawing board to write a proper Santa letter one hundred times. Sorry kiddo, if you can't summon the passion to write your own letter, Mommy can't summon the $200-something it would take to bring home one of those babies.

On second thought, let 'em "write" it. A half-assed attempt on their part should earn them a half-assed attempt at holiday shopping, right? Coal it is.

Image: XBox (the husband's attempt at humor)

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Whole Family Stars in Play About Death of Santa

editors — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 18:03:00 GMT

Ever have an inkling that your family could go on the road as a successful entertainment act? East Village Inky scribe and Babble contributor Ayun Halliday (who memorably wrote about taking her children on vacation in the Balkans) is living the dream this December, appearing in a "a refreshingly apocalyptic holiday palate cleanser" called The Truth About Santa. Her co-stars? Eleven-year-old India,eight-year-old Milo, and playwright/father Greg Kotis (co-author of the musical Urinetown). Dates and details after the jump, or at Ayun's website.-- Gwynne Watkins

Clancy Productions and the Tony Award Winning Writer of Urinetown Reveals
THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA
Beginning December 4 at The Kraine Theater
**Directed by Obie Winner John Clancy **
Presented by Clancy Productions

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus! And the terrible truth about who he is, how he treats his elves, and what his home life has become will all be revealed in THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA. Will this Christmas be Santa's last? Will Mrs. Claus finally make good on her threat to submerge humanity in a lake of fire? Who are these children and where did they get their strange powers?

THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA, the new play by Tony Award Winner Greg Kotis (Urinetown) is a refreshingly apocalyptic holiday palate cleanser.
Directed by Obie Award winner John Clancy (Americana Absurdum, Fatboy)
Presented by Clancy Productions
Three week only!
Previews begin December 4 at The Kraine Theater, NYC.

The production stars Clay Adams, Bill Coelius, Jeff Gurner, Lusia Strus and the entire Kotis family: Greg, India (age 11), Milo (age 8) and Ayun Halliday (Kotis' wife, and mother of the aforementioned children, both onstage and off).

****Please note: although this dysfunctional family comedy features
children, it is NOT FOR CHILDREN-- adults and extremely skeptical
tweens only, please. Kotis' children have been apprised that the
red-suited man onstage is not really Santa and thus do not mind too terribly much when he "dies".

THE TRUTH ABOUT SANTA runs December 4 -20, Wednesday - Friday at 8pm and Saturday at 5pm and 8pm.
The Kraine Theater is located at 85 East 4th Street (between 2nd & 3rd Aves), NYC. Tickets are $18, available at 212-868-4444 or http://clancyproductions.com/.

Who Killed Santa Claus?

makeitadouble — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 20:26:00 GMT

It's a classic scene straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Christmas morning, children in pajamas crouched in front of the tree bursting with anticipation. Their weary bath-robed parents smile in the background as the kids tear open a gift wrapped box containing a book describing in graphic detail the murder of Santa Claus.

This is essentially what happened in British Columbia to Krista Saunders family this past Christmas morning when her two sons opened a gift they’d received from their grandfather. Based on the packaging alone the book of short stories, called “Whodunits: Little Giant Book and Kit” which comes complete with a flashlight and magnifying glass, seems innocuous enough and even comes with a disclaimer stating the contents of the book are appropriate for children over the age of seven. However, one of the stories depicts a famous chef being hacked to death with a meat cleaver while another shows a child seeing bruises on his mother’s arm, and then of course there’s the story titled, “Who Killed Santa Claus?”

A section of the story reads, “They discovered every child's worst nightmare, the lifeless body of Santa Claus. He was in a storage room his head bashed in by the butt end of a .44 revolver.” Apart from whether or not parents encourage their children to believe in Santa Claus and besides what are the ingredients of 3am night terrors for any second grader, how could anyone, especially a child, tell on first glance that the murder weapon was a .44 revolver? What is this: CSI: North Pole? You got David Caruso in an elf tunic collecting forensic evidence and monotoning one-liners like, “Some one’s been naughty.”?

The contents of the book so upset Mrs. Saunders that she took her concerns to the manager of the book store where the gift was purchased and demanded the book is pulled form the shelves immediately. Whoa, slow down Mrs. Saunders. I can see how the stories in this book could be upsetting and I even agree with you that the contents are not suitable for young children, but Canada like the United States has a constitutional law that protects the freedom of expression.

Get store credit and let your sons choose a book that you approve of, but don’t start demanding that a book be pulled from shelves simply because you don’t agree with it. This is no different than using ratings as a guide to limit the levels of violence children are exposed to in video games, movies and on television.

If you believe that the qualification on the packaging that states that the book is appropriate for children over the age of seven is wrong then contact the publisher and suggest they change it to include a warning explaining that some stories contain violence and mature themes that may be unsuitable for young readers.

Do it for the children Mrs. Saunders, and if not for them then do it for David Caruso.

Santa Claus Is Coming to Your Town

Kelly Mills — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 14:40:00 GMT

I guess Santa is a busy guy. In addition to overseeing the elf toy-making operations, and keeping a nice/naughty tally of every dang child, he's also been busy elsewhere. Joining PETA protests, visiting hospitals, participating in pub crawls, running up buildings--I hope he takes the whole of January off or he's gonna burn out. I mean, he probaby gets like, two hours sleep, tops.

I'm not even a huge Santa fan (sacrilegious, I know) but I enjoyed this Santa slideshow. It's nice to keep up on Santa's activities and to see how that big red suit gets used for all kinds of things. For those who celebrate such things, Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Rafting Photo: Reuters/Crack Palinggi

How Did We Survive Without the SantaCam?

Karen Murphy — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 22:25:00 GMT

If you ask me, NORAD's Santa Tracker raises more questions than it answers. Like, "Santa can't fly very far at one time, can he? If he goes to everybody's house? So why do they show him flying so high above the earth?"

Yeah, kid, good question. Now go away, you bother me.

Seriously, though, I know this is a bit of fun perpetuated by the goofy guys at The North American Aerospace Defense Command, but doesn't it take a bit away from the mystery of the whole thing? I mean, I'm not sure I want to see Santa picking his nose as he flies from Botswana to Port Elizabeth, South Africa (the latest updates as I write this).

But it IS admittedly quite cool to show kids that hello, if you're going to believe in Santa you might as well get a cool global geography lesson ut of it. Wow, you mean it's dark somewhere now? And kids will be soon waking up to find Santa's been there (theoretically, of course)? Now, there's something to love about that.

NORAD began this gig in 1955 when a "Santa hot line" mistakenly gave their number. Now there's over 1000 volunteers coordinating *ahem* special heat-seeking satellite technology (they only use it one night a year) all over the world that track Santa's movements via Rudolph's nose. Hey, if you're suspending disbelief you might as well go all out!

By the way, it's not too late to talk to Santa directly: call his toll-free cell at (877)446-6723 or email him at noradtrackssanta@gmail.com.

Photo: noradsanta.org

Woman Sexually Assaults Mall Santa

Kelly Mills — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 21:22:00 GMT

I'm down for the count with the stomach flu, but I roused myself just long enough to bring you this crucial story: A 33-year-old woman has been charged with disturbing the peace and sexual assault in a case of Santa groping. Apparently the woman, Sandama Lamy, took her lap-sitting opportunity to try and feel up Mr. Claus, leaving him "shocked and embarrassed by the whole incident," especially since there was a line of kids waiting to see him.

When police tracked the woman down by phone, their first message was answered by a recording, and then they received a call back saying, "It's a false report and I don't have any idea." Hey, if you are gonna grope Santa, at least own it lady. But no Santa assault story would be complete without a quote from "Santa Tim" Connaghan, president of RealSantas.com and a Santa trainer. He said "he's never heard of a similar incident, though it's not unusual for adults to want to pose with Santa." He teaches his Santas to gently rebuff any lap advances. This all sounds like something out of my favorite holiday essay, The Santaland Diaries, which you must read.

A True Mom Confession: I said sayonara to Santa

TrueConfessions — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 04:12:00 GMT

An uneventful ride to school last week went awry when my 7-year-old son, Owen, busted out the inevitable Santa question.

“Is Santa real, Mom?”

This same conversation years earlier with my girls, who are now 9 and 17, had been riddled with complex emotions – disappointment, sadness, anger and betrayal. (“How could you lie to us all these year?s!!!” was a biggie.) With Owen, however, it was cut and dry. I offered up my default, sing-songy response: “Well, he’s real if you believe in him. He’s really the ‘Spirit of Christmas…’”

But he cut me off before I perjured myself any further.

“Well, if he’s not real, then make sure you get me that Wii soccer game, OK?”

That was that.

Some other moms don’t have it so easy. On my web site, Truemomconfessions.com, I’ve noticed that women, especially those who don’t have the years in the trenches that I do, are struggling with their own December Dilemmas. Preserve the magic or debunk the myth? With hundreds of confessions pouring in on the subject, it’s become really clear that a line has been drawn in the sand (or the snow, rather) with moms falling on one side or the other of the Great Santa Divide.

A sampling of what moms are ’fessing up to:

12.14.07 3:24a
I hate that I spend all this time, money and effort finding the perfect gifts, only to have all the glory stolen by a fat guy in a suit at the last minute!!

12.13.07 12:53a
I almost told my kids there was no Santa Claus because they made me very mad yesterday morning.

12.12.07 4:12p
I know Santa isn't really real, but I think Santa is just a contemporary representation of Christmas and all of the feelings we have at Christmas, such as Hope (for miracles), Generosity (wanting to give to those you love), and Belief (a.k.a. Faith in something "magical"...). To me, belief in Santa isn't that much different than faith in Jesus (have any of you actually met either one??) My kids know EXACTLY what Christmas is about; they understand it's sbout the birth of Jesus Christ - they even sing Happy Birthday to Him! So, if we want to believe in Santa, LEAVE US ALONE & DON"T SPOIL IT!!

12.12.07 7:40a
My 2 year old asked my why Santa came to the house to drop off gifts. It's sad to say that I have no clue why. I told him that it was Jesus's birthday and Santa is nice and likes everyone to get presents. I used to think I was fairly intelligent...not anymore.

12.12.07 6:36a
I will keep the tradition of Santa for my girls until the day I die. Santa isn't just a man in a suit, to me he's a symbol that more people can relate to no matter what their background is. That's pretty special. How can something that can bring such joy be called a lie?

12.11.07 5:12p
Seriously, if finding out about Santa is such a trauma, why start the lie to begin with? My parents never did "Santa" with us, and I'll never do it with my child. She knows the truth :)

12.07.07 7:02p
my son wouldn't go to bed last night so I called Santa (AKA my brother!) and had him talk to my son. Worked like a charm!! :-) I hope I can use it after Christmas too!

12.07.07 4:02p
My son didn't believe us when we told him about Santa. Lol

Do you have your own Santa story to share? Leave your own -- or read more at truemomconfessions.com .

Holiday Movies With (Popcorn) Balls

Kelly Mills — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:06:00 GMT

I'm not a very sentimental person, so most of the traditional holiday movie fare doesn't do it for me. I generally prefer films with a dark, snowy backdrop and occasional Santa suit mishaps and plenty of bitterness or big explosions to the kind where the true meaning of Christmas triumphs over some dark force as the music swells. The Poop had this great, great post with comments on fringe holiday movies you can bust out and make part of the season. Films like Die Hard and Trading Places and Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. And apparently, I must watch the Hebrew Hammer very soon.

Of course my favorite movie for the season is one you can watch with kids, and while it isn't as edgy holiday as the ones listed here, I feel like it should get a special mention since the director just had a baby. Nightmare Before Christmas--I mean, how can you go wrong with a wonderfully-animated, surreal musical? By far one of Tim Burton's best movies ever, and of course, congrats to him and Helena Bonham Carter on the addition of a baby girl on Sunday. I just hope Sweeney Todd is as good.

Any films we should add to the rotation?

Wal-Mart Removes Sleezy Holiday Panties For Girls...Errrr...

Kelly Mills — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 13:21:00 GMT

Moving quickly past that headline, let's get into the ick story: Wal-Mart was selling some hot pink underwear in the juniors section. On the crotch it said, "Who needs credit cards" and on the ass, it finished with "When you have Santa". Perfect for our young girls, right? While the message is gross on a number of levels, we'll go with the most obvious: the conflation of young girl parts as a money-maker, and the presentation of Santa in a way that is far creepier than anything I could create on a personalized video message. Sugar daddy Santa Claus for our young ladies. Well, deck the halls.

So what happened? Feministing posted about them, letters were written, and Wal-Mart took them off the shelves. How much do we love the power of the blog to make things happen? Super duper kudos to Feministing--the post had this great line: "There's nothing quite like telling adolescent girls that they don't need to worry about finances since they have their very own moneypot between their legs." So score one for folks who would prefer preteen girls not measure their worth and security by what they have in their underwear.

Santa's an Overrated Stalker

Karen Murphy — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 23:55:00 GMT

I have mixed feelings about Santa. On the one hand, I love the magical aspect of this benevolent guy arriving who brings stuff like socks and underwear and who makes kids love it (kidding. He brings one smallish-but-cool thing usually), but on the other hand, I totally agree with some of what our own Kelly spouts about over at The Poop: Santa is a hypocritical stalker.

But Kelly takes it a step farther than I do. Crosses a line, really. Because she tells her kid that the parents are Santa.

(Sacrilege!)

So the stalker thing I get. I was never comfortable with the idea of "naughty or nice" and "if you're not good Santa won't come." Making the receipt of gifts contingent upon behavior is wrong unless the adults are going to treat one another that way as well. How does that feel? "Sorry, honey, but the sex was kind of meh this year so I didn't get you anything." Holding a year's worth of behavior over a kid's head during December just creates bitter adults. Which probably explains a lot if you ask me.

So the hypocritical thing I totally get. Santa doesn't come for poor kids? How do you explain that? Kids know this stuff. They know who has an iPod Nano, who has Wii, who has a plasma TV. Believe me. They know this stuff. And I know too that I for one can't come up with a plausible explanation as to why Santa treats some kids better than others.

But the parents-as-Santa thing makes me suck in my breath and cringe a little. I like the fact that there is magic in our house once a year. I like that there are surprises.

I'm actually in a bit of a quandary about this. My older son is 11; wouldn't he likely know what adults know about Santa by now? But what if he doesn't? I can't exactly wink and hope he knows what I know without actually saying anything can I? My older daughter found out at about 7 from some other kids but never made te connection between Santa and, say, the Tooth Fairy, and when I assumed she had it was distastrous. I'm not going through that again.

Damn. The more I write the more I think Kelly's path is the way to go: start young and come clean from the beginning.

What's the story on Santa at your house?

Sex and Santa: When Should a Parent Tell the Truth?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 00:57:00 GMT

A homeschooling and philosophizing parent writing on Nashoba.com, ponders the right timing for uncovering the truth about Santa and sex, especially when it comes to her youngest children. She points out that while many homeschooling parents choose to educate their children outside of the public school system in order to protect their innocence, by schooling all different ages together, the younger children are sometimes exposed to more advanced information (insemination anyone?).

Homeschooling parents aren't the only ones concerned about the sex-kittenish behavior of the under 10 set and most of us can appreciate the effort it takes to stand between your child and the over-sexed world around them, but I don't think sex and Santa are equal affronts to innocence, especially when it comes to the under 6s.

The questions burning the brains of the youngsters in my family have more to do with "Where's the magical fairy person?" and "Mommy, can I have wine too?" and "Does Santa know I hit Violet?" So far, my house is free of sexual curiosity, but perhaps a little bit of homeschooling would solve that problem.