Strollerderby : saving money

Brits Say Michelle Obama Cheaped Out on Gifts

JeanneSager — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:57:00 GMT

Somebody please remind the British press that the world's economy is in the dumps.

Their latest gripe about America? Michelle Obama didn't give "nice enough" gifts to the British prime ministers children. Or, to be precise, the first lady's gifts to Gordon Brown's boys were not as nice as the outfits bestowed on Sasha and Malia Obama by the prime minister's wife.

During her meeting with Sarah Brown, Mrs. Obama apparently handed over two toy models of Marine One, the Presidential helicopter, for the Brown boys, Fraser and John. Yes, toy helicopters for little boys. How dare she? (It should be noted that the Brown children are not the ones acting like prats here.)

Sarah Brown, by the way, went all out with dresses from Top Shop accompanied by matching necklaces and a series of children's books by British authors. Perfectly nice gifts, of course. But does that make them any better than some toy helicopters for little boys? My daughter would LOVE a toy helicopter.

The exact charge from the London Times was that Michelle Obama was "solipsistic" because the models of Marine One rubbed in the Browns' faces that her husband is president of the United States. Er, OK. But he is. And last time I checked, that's WHY Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Obama were exchanging pleasantries. If we're really going to put that spin on it, couldn't it be argued that a selection of British literature is a slam on the American lit the girls are used to? (Not that I'd agree, just playing devil's advocate here). Or perhaps I'm rubbing it in my southern in-laws faces that their son married a Yankee when I bring them jugs of fresh maple syrup from New York to Virginia?

Perhaps the British press could find something better to focus on than the toys given to two little British children by the first lady of the United States. Like, maybe, what their father was in town to discuss?

Image: London Times

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Family of Five Brings in Seven Boarders to Weather Economic Storm

JeanneSager — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 17:02:00 GMT

My hometown is littered with old boarding houses, buildings that haven't housed more than one family in at least five decades.

But in this economy - who knows? Could boarding houses be making a comeback?

One New Mexico family of five has expanded to twelve thanks to seven boarders weathering the economic storm in their thirty-eight ~~thousand~~ hundred square foot house.

Georgia and Chris Frankel have three daughters of their own - ages three, six and seventeen - living with them. There are another two teens in the house now, plus their parents and others for a total of five adults. The Frankels don't require rent, and they're not rich. Both halves of the couple work, and confess they live "paycheck to paycheck."

So why do it? They're paying it forward.

Their eldest daughter was extremely sick, and Chris' father in the final stages of cancer several years ago. Together, the illnesses put a financial burden on the family, and pulled Chris into a deep depression. He cut back on work, and the family could barely keep their heads above water.

"We learned how to get by when there was not enough food in the house for the kids," Chris told CNN. "We had to beg and borrow money from people to get by."

Then the clouds lifted. Chris got back to work, and the family stabilized. Their daughter got better. Having lived with family and friends when they first got married, they were no strangers to sharing their lives with others. They started opening their home two years ago, first to one of Chris' students at the University of New Mexico - where he teaches in the exercise science program to supplement the family's income. Now there are twelve people chipping in on chores, chipping away at the $1,000-a-month food bill and throwing money into the pot to buy a communal Wii. The Frankels' kids are exposed to different cultures (one boarder is an Italian-born chef who speaks three languages), and they're earning a healthy respect for charity.

It sounds like a great idea - if it works for you.

But is this really an option for families? Even families who do have the space, who could turn spare bedrooms into space for boarders? Does this take away from the ability to parent your own kids and give your own kids what they really need - you?

I admit to being selfish here, but sometimes I think my daughter benefits the most from time spent alone with me and my husband - in an environment that's all about the family unit. She learns her charity outside of the house, gets her culture from the interesting people she meets out there too. Am I just being a Scrooge?

Image: CNN

Babble Talk: When Even the Kiddies are Money-Conscious

Jen Chaney — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 13:32:00 GMT

Everyone wants to save money these days. Apparently even the two-year-olds. Well, at least one does, according to an item posted in "Kids Say the Cutest Things!"

According to a recent item, a little guy named Jaxon wasn't messing around when he got a few coins into his toddler-sized hands. "We gotta put this money in my account!" he declared, referring, of course, to his piggy bank. The way some of us are accruing interest these days, Jaxon, we might all be better off if we turned our bank accounts into piggy banks.

Have you heard similar comments -- either funny or serious -- from your kids that indicate they are counting their pennies or concerned about money? Then add it to our "Kids Say the Cutest Things!" feature and see if the statement out-"awwws" Jaxon's quote, which right now only has an "awww" rating of 2.

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Kitchenista: How to Cook With What's Left in the Kitchen

JeanneSager — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 22:02:00 GMT

I'm the queen of procrastinating on the shopping. Fortunately, I have a husband who isn't afraid of a little cart-pushing around the local grocery store.

But with procrastinating about the shopping also comes procrastinating about list making, and my husband is not a mind reader (he's working on it, but you know what they say about not marrying a man with the intention of changing him). So more often than not, the pickings in our closet come dinner time are . . . slim to none.

Easier to deal with before the economy took a dive (hello? yes, I'd like a large pie . . . ). Now that we're cutting back, I've been spending a little more time on the list-making and the shopping . . . and a lot more time of scrounging around the closet looking for ideas.

Which would be easier if I didn't have a three year old who liked to stand at the doorway to the kitchen and ask, repeatedly, "Mommy, what are we eating, Mommy, what's for dinner, Mommmmmmy."

My new find? Not Beans Again. Plug five ingredients into their homepage, and they spit back a list of choices you can make with what you have left (and a few basics - come on, if you don't have flour in your house, you REALLY need to get food shopping). Use it to bust your picky eater out of their comfort zone by letting them pick the ingredients.

You don't have to stick with their recipes, if they don't interest you, but it's a great jumping off point for parents who have gotten stuck in that chicken nuggets and mac and cheese rut. Especially parents like me, who procrastinate.

Even if you're not cooking tonight, it's a good (free) time waster. What are the weirdest combinations of foods you can come up with to plug into the list? Can't think of any good ones? Ask your kids - they'll come up with something goofy.

Image:

Family of Four's Living on $1,500 for a YEAR

JeanneSager — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:28:00 GMT

Think you're thrifty? Want to bet?

A New Hampshire family may just be the savviest bunch of savers in America right now. The family of four is eking out an existence on just $1,500 a year.

Bourne and Heather (last name removed at the family's request) adventure officially started on January 1, but they've been working toward this since July 2008, when Heather says she started "diligently using coupons," to build up a stockpile of necessities (from non-perishable foodstuffs to toiletries). With one preschooler and one toddler in their house, they think they can make it through 2009 with just $1,500 spent on groceries, household times and even personal expenses like haircuts and their health insurance copays.

They've got a few rules for themselves - including a $0 dining out budget until their December wedding anniversary, and brutal honesty in reporting their money situation. That means even if they fail, they've promise to report it. They're also vying to have at least five $0 days per month, five days when they spend zilch on the above categories.

Impossible? Maybe - and even Heather and Bourne agree.

"My purpose in blogging is to raise people's awareness about their own finances, make people think twice about how they spend their own money and to share and learn a lot along the way. That is it," Heather says on the family blog, Living on 1,500 for One Year.

They are taking the criticisms in stride, but along with their tips on saving money, commenters are dropping their own hints of how to cut costs and keep a family going. If you're serious about saving, you might already be doing most of them, but if you need a starting off point, it's worth a look.

She frequently points out throughout her posts that it wouldn't be possible without the family's stockpile - which she estimates cost at least $1,200. It's also important to note that their $1,500 is just on the three categories of groceries, household items and personal expenses. They don't talk much on the family blog about the money spent on things like their home (rent or mortgage payments), their cars (if they have one - even if there's no loan to pay off, there is gas to buy, tires, etc.) and incidentals like home heating.

Some costs you just can't avoid - and some of the biggest costs you can't anticipate (health insurance copays could be nothing from month to month, until three pediatrician visits in a row eat up their monthly allowance). Do you think your family could find enough fat to trim it down this drastically? Are they being realistic?

UPDATE: The family has removed their blog becase of threats, and asked that their last name be removed as well.

Image/Source: Fox News

What Octo-Mom Is Spending The Money On

JeanneSager — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 01:24:00 GMT

Want to know what Nadya Suleman is doing with the donations she may or may not be getting since giving birth to octuplets?

At least $250-some was apparently spent on a Nintendo Wii this week; Suleman was spotted buying a video game system for her kids, eyeing an additional controller worth $40.

The question is - do you really care?

If you were drawn in by Suleman's Website requesting donations this week and sent her a chunk of change, do you think you have the right to weigh in on how she spends your money? After all, they're donations. Once the check is written, it's out of your hands. You knew she could buy a game system for her kids just as easily as she could buy a few boxes of diapers.

On the other hand, the chief reason Nadya Suleman has drawn significant criticism since the story of her eight babies and an additional six children living at home is because she's been accepting public assistance - including food stamps and disability payments for at least three of her kids. She's not just someone spending private donations from a multitude of good-hearted suckers.

Food stamps have some limitations, as does WIC, but just like donations, there's no limit put on what someone can buy once they get their disability checks. Which is precisely why there are so many problems with the system - because for every person who makes use of the system because of a real need, there are the Nadya Sulemans of the world who go out to buy a Wii when when they have fourteen mouths to feed and no job to pay for them.

My colleague Shannon says the vitriol toward this woman has to stop, and I agree there's no point in getting yourself worked up over someone you don't know - nor can we put all the blame for this situation on her. But I can't help getting angry on behalf of the taxpayers who have to pay for her fourteen children's medical care, their food, their diapers, while their own kids sit home without a Wii because Mom and Dad just can't afford it - and they made the hard choice of putting food on the table instead.

And charging my anger is the response - just before the Suleman story details began leaking - to the Georgia family who put the bulk of their belongings up on eBay rather than advertise for donations. The same family who tried again and again to deny the offer of a flat $20,000 donation from a kind-hearted Samaritan. Out of thirty-seven comments left on the post, more than half claimed the family had some ulterior motive. Even more criticized the family's actions leading up to their decision to sell off their belongings - denying that attempts to be financially responsible in the here and now could negate any financial irresponsibility in the past.

Why do people leap to such conclusions? Why do the families who are truly in need, honestly reaching out, get treated with such utter cruelty and suspicion? Because of the Nadya Sulemans of the world. Because of those who take and take and take some more, the honorable system of providing for our poor and our disabled is tainted by the dishonorable.

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Birth Control Best For Families in This Economy?

JeanneSager — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 18:33:00 GMT

The economy's in the toilet, but guess what's still flying off the shelves?

Let's just say Valentine's Day conceptions are expected to be more of a sigh than a boom this year.

Sales of condoms rose five percent in the fourth quarter of 2008 over the same period the previous year. The hike was six percent in January '09 over the frosty first month of 2008.

A spokesman for the ad agency that represents Durex condoms told USA Today that condoms are "recession resistant." Still, to boost the figures, they've been stocking newspaper circulars with coupons - another nod to the downturn in the economy. Clipping coupons might have been reserved to suburban housewives in the nineties, but it's back in full force in '09.

Ironically, some of the other condom makers are talking about a focus on "nesting" in their advertising campaigns. Maybe it's just me - a mom - but I thought nesting-focused advertising always showed a mom, dad, dog and the requisite two point four kids? You know, the whole ideal that birth control is just kinda, sorta, designed to prevent?

Then again, if we're talking families who have to cut back, with all of the entertainment options outside of the home cost-prohibitive because they require paying for entrance for the whole family, maybe the answer to saving money is making fun for just Mom and Dad.

Image: More4Kids

School to Parents: Donate Toilet Paper

JeanneSager — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 15:36:00 GMT

You know things are bad when you don't have money for toilet paper. Not even the sandpaper variety common to public schools.

That's just how bad things are for the Detroit school district; letters are being sent to parents asking them to pack their kids' backpacks with TP.

Academy of the Americas administrators were also asking for light bulbs, trash bags, paper towel rolls. I understand the Detroit school system's finances are looking about as good as the economics of my own state government (proud New Yorker here) at the moment. I remember reading reports that cited a deficit as large as $400 million in a more than $1 billion budget. This story from the Detroit News puts the figures closer to a $140 million deficit.

The state stepped in last month to help, appointing an emergency manager to begin the long task of straightening out the district finances. Yes, last month, at a point so late in the game that one kindergarten through eight school is asking parents to buy their kids' toilet paper.

What does that say about a state's attitude towards education and toward the children? Not to mention the fact that parents are already PAYING for these things via their taxes. It hardly seems appropriate to ask them for more (although, yes, as a parent, I would probably pony up a few extra rolls of Charmin' to ensure my child's classroom didn't turn to leaves), especially in light of the economy. Come to think of it, it wouldn't seem appropriate in more flush times either. Public education has been widely accepted as a right in our country, and parents can be charged for their children's truancy.

Parents expect that when they send their children to school, they will receive a certain quality of care; a quality equal or greater than the minimum of childcare that social service agencies would require of a parent. Not providing children with toilet paper to clean themselves when they defecate is not providing an adequate level of care; I wouldn't call it a stretch to deem that child abuse.

What else could we cut from district spending before toilet paper? How about administrators' salaries? The recently fired superintendent was making $280,000 a year - a far cry from the salaries of the average citizen of Detroit.

Image: PopGadget

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UPDATE: Thrift Shops Won't be Affected Under New Phthalate, Lead Ban

JeanneSager — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 22:41:00 GMT

After the post below - and the Los Angeles Times story that prompted it - drew a lot of attention from parents worried thrift shops were on their way to extinction thanks to the impending Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act ban on children's products that test positive for phthalates and lead, we have good news!

Thrift shops are safe!

The Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a clarification today stating, "The new safety law does not require resellers to test children's products in inventory for compliance with the lead limit before they are sold."

Stores are prohibited from knowingly sell products that don't meet the new standards, but the new ruling clears up major confusion (and major fears) for retailers. Considering how much time I spend buying used clothes to save money on my daughter's wardrobe, it put a huge smile on my face too!

The original post:

Think the answer to saving money on your kid's clothes lies in the thrift shops?

You might want to stock up fast. Because the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA) that will go into affect on February 10 will affect not only sellers of new products but those selling used goods too.

In an interview with the Los Angeles Times last week, Adele Meyer, executive director of the National Assn. of Resale and Thrift Shops, said the places most people go to save a few extra bucks on outfitting their families won't be able to cough up the thousands of dollars necessary for testing every product aimed at kids under twelve.

"They'll all have to go to the landfill," Meyer said.

In this economy? This is the best option out there? Thrift stores - or goodwill shops - are low-cost, sometimes free options for parents. I've found some great bargains on clothes for my daughter - clothes made by big names who might even have the money for the tests, but weren't required by law to do so when the clothes were actually made. In my rural neighborhood, most of the thrift stores are run by churches - who open the doors to families who are down on their luck because of illness, job loss or a fire, absolutely free of charge. Now, suddenly, the places that run on donations to GIVE donations, are being ordered to spend thousands that they don't have.

My biggest concerns about the CPSIA plans came after talking to moms who make and sell products online, who talked to me about possibly going out of business because the government plan is so generalized it doesn't take into account the fact that organic cotton (just an example) isn't likely to share a toxic profile with plastics anyway. The legislation calls for ALL products that could "reasonably" land in a child's mouth to be tested by an independent lab, then tagged to prove it.

If it hasn't been tested - even if there is no lead or phthalates - it will be considered toxic, and it will have to be trashed. As in sent to the landfill, like Meyer said.

The Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), is supposed to consider today an excemption for clothing and toys made of natural materials such as wool or wood, but even that won't help most thrift shops. Clothes made of cotton - but with dyes - or cotton-polyester blends will still be subjected to the (expensive) tests.

I've said it before - I'm all for protecting the kids. But protecting our kids also means protecting parents' ability to put clothes on their back and shoes on their feet. And if the thrift shops or goodwill stores have to shutter on Feb. 10, an overwhelming number of Americans suffering in the midst of a recession, won't be able to do that.

Image/Source: The Los Angeles Times

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Should Out-of-Work Parents Get Off Child Support Hook?

JeanneSager — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:25:00 GMT

I kind of felt bad for the Dad who wrote to the Houston Chronicle law advice columnist, asking if he could get a break on his child support payments while he's out of work. Um, NOT!

Yeah, yeah, we know about the economy. But while I understand it's tough to pay your bills when you're out of a job, cutting expenses doesn't mean cutting out the kids.

Says the columnist, "Maybe. You can hire a lawyer and seek court approval for a modification of your court-ordered child support payments."

He's quick to advise against it, pushing for mediation with the ex-wife and warning that by the time the motion makes it through court, the dad could already be back in an office. If the ex can agree, if she can financially hold down the fort for awhile, if you can agree to make restitution later, that's one thing.

I'm appalled that a dad who insists he's "not a deadbeat," still doesn't understand that the responsibility of child support isn't about how much money you make. It's about supporting your child. Child support payments be set too high (yes, courts are imperfect, some lawyers are actually pretty sucky negotiators). But what about parents who are still together? When we lose our jobs, we don't get to outsource parenting our kids. We don't get to throw up our hands and say, "sorry, no buying groceries for you anymore." We scrimp, and we save, and we put our kids first because we are THEIR PARENTS.

When you're getting a divorce or separation, you tell your kids, "Mommy and Daddy still love you very much." You don't tell them, "out of sight, out of mind."

I have never been through the child support issue myself (knock wood), but I've watched a myriad of friends - male and female - navigate the system. They've complained about their ex or whined about what said ex was doing with the cash. But when asked if they would ever go back to fight the amount they pay, what one non-custodial parent had to say made a lot of sense. "If I was still able to live with my kids, I'd spend this money. I'd be buying food for their stomachs and putting clothes on their backs. They're my kids, and this is my job. Do I like handing the money over to the b-tch I was married to? I don't think of it that way. I think of it as being their Dad."

After all, that's why it's called child support - because you're supporting your child.

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Is Going Hard on Handmade Bad for Parents?

JeanneSager — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 13:36:00 GMT

After a year and a half of ominous warnings that toxins are lurking in our kids' toyboxes, you would think parents would be celebrating the feds' decision to move in and start busting heads.

So what's the problem here?

The over-generalized, blanket "reform" regulations of the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act (CPSIA) will be putting a lot of parents out of business.

Now who's guilty of making a broad, sweeping statement? Perhaps, but I'm not just talking about moms who make toy food and sell it on etsy. They are the parents who have spent countless hours tweeting updates on Twitter, blogging about the Handmade Toy Alliance fight, and urging us all to write to our Congressman (click here to find out how they voted on the issue, by the way, in the House and in the Senate). And there are a lot of them. I have friends who do the craft circuit for extra cash, and the "children" section on etsy has no less than one thundred fifty thousand items up for sale at the moment - most of them made by a parent. Throw in the kids clothing makers, diaper sewers, and the list goes on - even if it's highly unlikely to have lead to begin with (in organic cotton?), it will have to be tested and tagged - to show parents it doesn't.

Yes, this law will undoubtedly put these parents out of business. But I'm also talking about the parents who like to buy little doodads for their kids - be it on etsy or at the local craft fair - because they're better-crafted and often more intriguing for the little minds, because the clothes are will withstand the test of being crawled and jumped in (where do I get clothes, by the way? The CPSIA calls for anything kids can "reasonably put in their mouths" - for those of us with kids, that's everything but the kitchen sink . . . on second thought, she has tried to suck water from the spigot . . . ).

They're being given one choice now - head to the big box store and stock up on the toys and clothes every kid on the block will have under the Christmas tree. Oh, and because each and everything must be tested by an independent lab to ensure it's lead, phthalate and cootie-free, and those labs like to charge a pretty penny - the price of THOSE toys is going up too. Overall, the big manufacturers will be better able to stomach the costs, but they are sure to pass on any added processing fees to us - the big ol' saps who fall for their kids' wide-eyed, "please, oh pretty please, I want it sooooo bad, I'll be so good."

Should we be making efforts to keep toxins away from our kids? Absolutely. Lead poisioning as one mother said in TV interview I watched, does not discriminate. She said the federal government shouldn't either - at least not in their efforts to keep lead out of kids' systems. Unfortunately, the CPSIA discriminates against parents when it comes down on the side of big business. A lack of research has resulted in blanket legislation in what is supposedly a quick response to a nationwide problem (a year and a half later).

If the government wants to help parents, maybe they should check with a few before the write laws "for us."

Image: Homespuncity (an etsy buy for me - that my daughter has tried sucking on)

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More Parents Leaving Kids Alone to Save on Daycare

JeanneSager — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:36:00 GMT

When code enforcement officers started inspecting apartments in a small Washington-area town, they uncovered an alarming problem. There were kids in apartments all over town - kids too young to be alone, kids whose parents just couldn't afford daycare.

According to a Washington Post report over the weekend it's happening all over the country - parents are leaving their kids alone so they can save a little money on daycare.

It's not hard to understand. The costs of daycare are high, and many parents report they're working as much to pay their babysitting bills as they are the mortgage or rent and put food on the table. When it comes time to cut one, food and shelter win out over paying another adult to be there when you're not.

Not that I'm excusing the parents who left their five-year-old daughter to be found by code enforcement officials, cowering in the closet of her family's apartment in Riverdale Park, Maryland or the family who kept their ten- and twelve-year-old home from school to watch their younger siblings.

But I can see how they made their choices. And they're hardly the first generation to do so. A large percentage of our greatgrandparents' and grandparents' generations were pulled out of school by their parents to help out at home, the need to take care of younger brothers and sisters while Mom helped Dad in the fields or took in sewing or did whatever it took to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads. Unfortunately, they never went back to school.

That many daycare workers are underpaid makes this an even more difficult mess to solve - better wages would mean a hike in daycare costs for parents who are barely making ends meet themselves. So how do you help parents?

One of the answers may be in shifting the opinion of who can stay home alone and for how long. In Maryland, child welfare workers say the basic rule calls for kids younger than thirteen to have a caregiver watching them. They say they're enforcing that on a case-by-case basis, however, because of the circumstances.

And that's how it should be. I don't know any five-year-old kids who should be left alone, but I do know some very capable eleven-year-olds. On the other hand, there are some fourteen-year-old kids I wouldn't trust for a minute in a house or apartment by themselves. That's something parents should know about their kids, and a choice they should have the power to make.

Image: The Washington Post

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It's Mr. Santa, and He's Nasty

JeanneSager — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 17:34:00 GMT

The Santa Claus at a mall in Edmonton, Canada has a serious case of the nasties. The guy hired to ho, ho, ho all day has started yelling at the parents who snap their own pictures of their kids on his lap instead of paying a $14 fee for a "basic picture package."

Santa says the parents who take their own pictures are basically shoplifting. Apparently he hasn't heard Santa's supposed to be the giving type.

"What message are you sending your children; 'Look Tommy and Sally, see what your parents stole you for Christmas'," Lyle Young told the Edmonton Sun.

Before you start thinking parents are somehow gypping the miserly Mr. Kringle, Young is paid a flat fee by the photography company that runs the mall Santa station. He gets paid whether parents pony up or not. And the mall's manager has said he'd be willing to pay a Santa to sit there and let parents take all the free pictures they want.

As a photographer, personally, I'm not big on the pictures you get when you sit down with Santa or any major character. The kids are stressed, the photographers are rarely trained, the lighting is terrible, and the photos look like you-know-what. Even the trained photographers don't have the same eye for my child that I do. I'm big on candid photos, where they spend the entire time coaxing the kids to "look at the camera" and "say cheese." You know what happens when my daughter says cheese? She closes her eyes and puts on the world's goofiest grin - it's the ham look developed after years of being tortured by her mother the photographer.

But even parents who don't care a fig about the artistry want that picture for something special. Usually, the store pictures are marked with a brand, so short of taking them home, scanning them in and working with special software to erase that mark, you can't reproduce the picture to send out to family or friends anyway. So taking one of your own is often the only way to get a picture that you can share, or a picture you can make in the right size for the frame you have in mind.

Then there's that money. Fourteen dollars may not sound like much to Lyle Young, but to a family that's out shopping with just a few dollars in their pockets, it can be a big dent in the budget. When their child sees Santa, however, should parents have to say, "sorry, honey, Santa charges too much?" Come on, he's Santa! And, according to the story in the Sun, the price of actually sitting on Santa's lap is free - there's nothing that says parents HAVE to pay. The photography studio running the booth has made its own mistake there.

Personally, I try to take my daughter out to see Santa when he's working for charity, where my fee for the crappy picture goes straight into the charity's coffers - and the "photographer" volunteering for the day is more than happy to let me shoot away.

Image: Root Cellar

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Five Easiest - and Cheesiest - Christmas Gifts to Make With the Kids

JeanneSager — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 19:36:00 GMT

Let's face it, even when the economic picture is rosy, Christmas with the kids is expensive. There's that darn Toys R Us lookbook that always seems to make it into their hands. Most of us won't scrimp on their gifts, so it's the rest of the family that gets the shaft.

What if there was a compromise? No need to beat around the bush here - I'm talking good old-fashioned child labor here. Yeah, it's a little cheesy in that holiday commercial where a kid hands mom a big handmade card kind of way, but what the heck. At least you can afford it.

Tempted to throw caution to the wind and make presents with the kids? Here are my five favorites:

Cookies - seriously a no-brainer here. Most people who celebrate Christmas are making them anyway (or buying them and plunking a doily on a paper plate to make it look like they are anyway). So throw together an extra batch and take them with you - anywhere. The thing about cookies is that people who say, "Oh no, I couldn't," inevitably end up digging in. And they'll appreciate not having another tchotchke that ends up taking up space on their bookshelves. Speaking of which . . .
Whatsit jars - Forget the muffin mix in a jar. Have you ever actually seen someone bake one of these things? I usually end up pouring mine in the compost pile just in time to get another shelf full. Save the jars, the gingham squares and the raffia ties, and let your kids loose in the junk drawers or their toy room. Short of the knowledge that everything MUST fit inside the drawer, all they need to know is this is a gift for so-and-so. In other words, they can't get this stuff back, but they can make somebody's day and clean up your house. See what they come up with; you might be surprised - and your best friend will have a kitshy found art piece to show off instead of the same old macaroni necklace. Speaking of which . .
There aren't many people who really like to wear kid-made jewelry (their mothers accepted, of course - and maybe some grandmothers). But a button that can be stuck in a corkboard? Not too shabby. Flattened bottle caps, with pictures glued to the front and plenty of glitter are a bit more work, but the fact that they're kid-made is a bonus for these, not a detraction. (Click here for directions).
Who says the presents have to be people-specific? The same people who will stop in awe to watch a bluebird alight on their windowsill don't necessarily have the time (or the ambition) to go out and buy a feeder. You can do the old pine cone and peanut butter trick (or Crisco, if your kids are young and you're still wary of allergies). Smear the pine cone in goo, swirl in a pile of cheap birdfeed, tie on a piece of twine and voila. Or . . .
Popcorn strings will keep the animals who don't hibernate busy this winter, and provided your kids are old enough to trust with a needle and long piece of thread, they're something a trained monkey could make. And did I mention won't require dusting or take up space for time eternal?

Call them cheesy, but they're easy on the pocketbook - and your kids will remain out of your hair for a good thirty minutes.

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A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 2: The Pros)

Cole Gamble — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Alright, time to get to the good parts about becoming a stay-at-home mommy or daddy:

Childcare is Monstrously Expensive

Our childcare cost over $1,800 a month. For some folks, going to work and paying for child care is nearly a break even proposition. Essentially you work for the privilege to send your kids to childcare so you can work. When you do the numbers you need to consider whether the salary you draw makes it financially worthwhile. And I don't mean if your job pays $5 more a month than child care costs you should go to work. You shouldn't put kids in childcare unless the money you're going to make if significantly greater. Otherwise, why bother?

You are A Consistent Care Provider

At daycares and preschools, staff will come and go. Your child can get easily attached to a teacher and then-poof!-they're gone. You, on the other hand, will always be around (unless there is something you're not telling me). Having that safe sense of consistency helps create a nurturing environment for your kid.

You Won't Miss a "First"

One of the more depressing things about putting kids in childcare is you'll likely miss out on your kids' firsts. The first time your baby laughs. The first steps she takes a step. The first time she tells an off-color joke. There's a pretty decent chance you won't be around when these adorable moments happen.

You Find Work Stressful

There are parents who use staying at home as a good excuse to drop out of the rat race. If your job is making you miserable and you don't see any other opportunities that look better, staying at home can give you the sanity you desperately need.

Raising Your Child is More Fulfilling than Office Work

Once again, this is preferential. As I outlined in the cons section, some adults may feel a loss of satisfaction when they drop out of work. On the other hand, some adults find raising their kid far more gratifying than pushing paper.

And if you can afford it, you may find that staying home reduces your stress level. Many parents decide to stay home after trying unsatisfactorily to balance work and family. The long hours and the feeling of cutting too many corners results in feeling burned out. Staying home will give you more time to spend with your children, maintain your home, and help keep your family life running smoothly.

Epilogue: Nicole's Story

So how did my wife's stay-at-home mommying adventure go? In the end, Nicole discovered the stay-at-home mom thing wasn't for her. She grew too frustrated trying to work on the house or her resume with the kids bouncing off the walls. The kids' attitudes got out of whack as they were not getting the level of socialization, activity and learning they were accustomed to at school. So the kids went back to school and so did Nicole, she's now working on her Master's degree. Since leaving the stay-at-home life behind, Nicole found she actually gets more quality time with the kids because she's no longer as frustrated when she gets to devote a portion of her day to being an adult.

Choosing whether or not to stay at home with the kids is not a matter of how much you love your kids. It's a matter of what works best for your family. Every mother or father must make this choice at some point, and whatever choice you make will undoubtedly be made with what's best for the family in mind.

Go Back to Part 1: the Cons of Staying Home

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Would You Give Gifts Bought At Wal-Mart Where Man Died?

JeanneSager — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 16:01:00 GMT

Even the most die hard Black Friday shopper had the good grace to stop talking deals when the news of a man trampled to death by shoppers at a Long Island Wal-Mart started hitting the airwaves.

What about those shoppers? Are they in their attics right now, wrapping the results of consumer greed gone horribly wrong? Do people actually feel good giving their kids ill-gotten gifts?

Maybe I'm just not one to ask. I have never been the "up at three a.m., out the door by four" shopper. I have taken extremely well to the push toward Cyber Monday over Black Friday, even if my mega-deal is swallowed in part by a shipping charge. I like to think I can be savvy without being swallowed whole by commercialism. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy a good deal as much as the next mother trying to make ends meet.

But isn't there a time when a deal is just too good? Must have fallen off the truck good? I mean, it's one thing to buy the kids a fleece with a ripped tag . . . another to buy them a box of "Tunka" trucks from the vendor on the street corner. Some people say what the kids don't know won't hurt them. But as parents, you know. Whether it's a game console purchased the day a man died or a pile of games picked up from a shady street dealer, there gift that's supposed to bring kids such happiness has already been marked by incredible sadness. I couldn't do it.

Could you?

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A Guy’s Take on Stay at Home Moms and Dads (Part 1: The Cons)

Cole Gamble — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Recently my wife went back to school and finished up a bachelor’s degree in psychology. She was thrilled. I was thrilled. Even the damn pets were thrilled. The party, however, ended abruptly when Nicole realized she was, with her still hot from the oven degree in hand, entering the most hostile job market in generations. That’s when she introduced an intriguing proposition. “Hey, how about I keep the kids at home for awhile? If I can’t get a job now, I might as well take them out of child care and be a stay-at-home mom.” This was coming from a woman who started her college career on an education degree track, but then realized she didn’t like kids. This was different though. These were our kids, and your own kids are always infinitely lovelier than other peoples’ kids.

Throughout Nicole’s stay-at-home adventure, we’ve learned a lot about her personality, our kids’ personalities and the realities of staying at home with kids. Here are some of the lessons we learned, starting with the cons. In part two we’ll cover the pros and at the end I’ll let you in on what eventually happened to Nicole and how staying at home (I've heard SAH parent is the term for those in the know) has worked out for her.

The Cons:

Loneliness

Workplaces feed you daily social interaction with adults that we probably all take for granted. Once their daily routine revolves around the kid(s), many stay-at-home parents find themselves isolated. Some turn their child into their best friend, which at times puts the child in a peculiar situation as mommy or daddy gradually engages Jr. in too grown-up talk.

Loss of Identity via Loss of Career

I personally try not to define myself by my work (there are just too many more important aspects of personality), but I cannot deny all of us in the workplace to some degree merge our work into our self-esteem and identity. When you break that source of identity off, you can definitely feel that loss. People also crave the positive feedback one gets from the workplace and approbation is not something you usually get out of a screaming toddler or diaper full of crap.

Hard to Get Back to Work

Many parents find it’s tough to rejoin the job market after a sustained sabbatical.

You Can’t Provide the Activity and Socializing a Good Day Care/Preschool Can:

Hey, you’re a super stay-at-home parent. You go above and beyond the call of duty; you’re a total parenting rock star. Nonetheless, you still can’t compete with a child care program when it comes to activities and socializing. Good programs jam pack your child’s day with fun and educational projects. Also, you can’t underestimate the value of exposing your child to their peers on a daily basis. Interacting with other kids is essential for a child’s emotional and intellectual development. Yes, you can get them out of the house and around kids at the park, but you probably can’t offer them a whole class of kids working, playing and learning together every day.

Loss of Income

Yep, you do save money on child care when you keep the kids at home, but more likely than not that saved money isn’t as much as the income you lose by extracting yourself from work.

How About Losing 1 Million Dollars?

That's the amount economists say the stay-at-home parent who relinquishes a career may lose about $1 million over the years., when you factor in benefits and pensions. Yee-ouch!

Housework and Child Care Can Be Boring and Frustrating

Okay, hold your tomatoes, don’t throw them just yet. I’m not saying parenthood is boring, I’m just saying the diaper changing and tackling endless loads of laundry can be tedious and wearisome. A lot of this is about personality. I know women (and guys) who gain a great deal of satisfaction from mopping the floor and wiping noses. But just because other parents enjoy it doesn’t mean you must as well. You have to be honest with yourself.

Okay, enough doom and gloom. Let’s move on to the positives of staying home.

Click here for PART 2: The Pros.

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Cutting Back for Kids' Sake

Amy Kuras — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 20:02:00 GMT

What with the economy tanking and all, Christmas shopping is a different ballgame this year than maybe it has been in the past. After all, we’ve all done the “one for me, one for you” thing when shopping, or found something when we’re out shopping for others that is just too good a deal to pass up. (The words “too good a deal to pass up” are exactly why I limit shopping trips as much as possible).

This New York Times story profiles a few moms who are cutting their spending on themselves in order to buy more for their children. I think this isn’t exactly news – I mean, how many moms think “forget my kids, mama needs some pretty shoes”? Not any of the ones I know.

That holds for the mom profiled, although it would be a lot easier to work up some sympathy if the mom in question’s big cutback wasn’t “the designer jeans she covets,” like, cry me a river, lady.

Even a few years ago when my husband was told he’d be losing his job right before Christmas and I almost simultaneously found out my main client was dropping the feature I did for them, we managed to give our then one-year-old gifts at Christmastime although it was a mighty thin year under the tree for us.

Are you cutting back on gifts for yourself, or your partner or other adults, in favor of gifts for your kids? Are you cutting back overall this year?

Save Money with A Holiday Game Plan

Cole Gamble — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 22:31:00 GMT

I don't want to sound Pollyanna-ish, but this week you're gonna find one heck of a silver lining to the economic downturn. Retailers are slashing prices to historical lows to stave off an anemic holiday shopping season. That mean's your shopping dollars just multiplied in value many fold.

Before you get carried away with your new found richness, you should map out a strategy to maximize your spending this Friday. Actually, you don't have to map anything out. I've already done it for you. Here are a few tips for making the most of your holiday shopping (and not go broke).

Scout deals online. Go online to check out the most up-to-date Black Friday deals on websites such as www.black-friday.net, www.theblackfriday.com and www.blackfriday.info. This will save you the time and gas from driving store to store for comparison shopping.

Make a list. Know ahead of time what you want to buy for each friend and relative. Trying to guess while you're at a crowded mall is not only time consuming and frustrating, but could also lead to a hasty and more expensive decision.

Know how much you want to spend on each person before you go. Kind of goes along with the tip above.

Avoid gift cards. You can actually save a lot by finding something thoughtful and on sale rather than having to set out a certain amount on a card so you don't look cheap.

Hopefully with these tips, you'll save some money and hair pulling this holiday season.

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What Makes a Yuppie Parent?

JeanneSager — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:01:00 GMT

I never thought of myself as a "yuppie" parent. I've never met a hand-me-down I wouldn't take, and my food processor's seen far more ice and margarita mix than baby food. But according to a commentor on last week's Babble List of Money Saving Tips, I'm not using my noggin to cut costs. I'm a yuppie.

Their exact words?

Good tips for "yuppies" but not people who are really hurting.

So I went back through the list. Use the library instead of buying books. Check - we get both books AND movies free of charge through the library. We get the chance to see if we REALLY like something enough to buy it. Scale back your cable package (drop the Tivo and the movie channels). Done (we don't have either - see above, borrow brand new DVDs free from the library). Opt out of trips to the newest movie in the theater. We have a toddler; we see the inside of a theater maybe once or twice a year, max. Had to see Twilight. Switch to compact fluorescent bulbs. Did that; it's saving us money AND saving the planet. Switch out paper towels for real towels. The old spit rags make excellent rags; they were made to be absorbent. Buy clothes on sale instead of at the height of the season. I scour the sales rack everytime I'm in a store for the clothes that are a size up from my daughter's current size.

The list was fifteen in total, but these were the most common sensical (come on, that's a word, right?) of the bunch. And we've been doing them more or less since our daughter came along - in part because of my reduced workload and the requisite reduced paycheck and in part because a child is darn expensive. I'm still not seeing the yuppie in my rural living, cheap forward-facing stroller, non-baby-food-making existence.

What's more troubling than me being labeled a yuppie, however, is the notion that the folks who are "really hurting," can't save with some of these options. I have seen what some of the working poor waste their money on. The spending habits in this country are a big part of the reason we are in this economic mess to begin with.

Living in a mostly rural area, the money is being spent on four-wheelers for the kids instead of funnelling extra cash toward paying down the mortgage. The compact fluorescents are looked upon as "too expensive," so they're picking up the $1 box of regular bulbs that keeps the electric bill high. They refuse to spend a little to save a lot.

Saving money takes planning. It takes foresight. Not everything can be planned for; a sudden layoff is no one's fault. But to be complaining about a lack of extra income and stating you "need" the movie channels in your cable package because they're the only source of entertainment you have is ridiculous. You could save $20 a month by using the library to get the same movies for free. Wait a minute, wasn't that one of the suggestions on that yuppie list?

Personally - not everything on the list worked for me either. The farmers' market in my area has much fresher produce, but it's priced for the "yuppies" who visit my area and stay in second homes, people with more expendable income than the average working joe in my town (more expendable income than me). Shopping Etsy can be cheaper than a lot of the fancier toys, but it's also an obsession I'm better of staying away from . . . because once I start, I can't necessarily stop. That's called forethought. Knowing where your spending problems are, and finding ways to supplement with a cheaper option.

And if there is no cheaper option, sometimes the best option of all? Going without. Because not giving them a four-wheeler this Christmas really is an option. Especially if it means putting a roof over their heads and food in their tummies instead.

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Is Cutting the Sitter's Pay the Best Way to Save Money?

JeanneSager — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:34:00 GMT

So we're headed into a recession, and you're going to have to put some extra hours in at work to make up for a reduction in staff and earn that much-needed overtime. Is now really the best time to give the babysitter the shaft?

A list of childcare saving options in a recent Wall Street Journal piece quotes a SitterCity poll that puts 36 percent of babysitters taking pay cuts. Providing a list of way to break the news, they admit it's not easy to scrimp when it comes to the person who is going to care for your child.

So I wonder, should you? Really? Let's revisit that sentence: the person who is going to care for your child. This isn't skipping the morning latte in favor of a travel mug full of home-brewed joe. It's telling the person you pay to be there with your kids when you're not around that they're just not worth as much this year as they were the last. In a tough economy, chances are they'll swallow that excuse. But aren't they more valuable this year than ever before?

Studies have shown a mother's ability to work is dependent on the ability of childcare. The less flexible the job, the more flexibility needed on the childcare front. And the only thing flexible about jobs these days is whether they're going to be there tomorrow. So think twice about how much you're going to spend on their Christmas or Hannukah gift this year (downgrade that spa package to a single massage to make up for putting up with your brat), but you might want to keep the love flowing their way right now.

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Budget Baby: Cutting Corners on Baby Stuff

Amy Kuras — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 01:52:00 GMT

There's some ridiculous figure out there about how much it costs to raise a baby to adulthood. Of course, that seems to assume that you buy everything new, for yourself (no showers or hand me downs or whatever), disposable diaper and bottle feed, have your little darlings in every activity known to humanity and so forth.

Still, even with generous friends and families and an eye for resale, it can be breathtaking how much it actually costs to have a little baby around. We've been out of babyland for a couple years and now are horrified at how much money goes out of this house on a weekly basis, and we mostly cloth diaper and only supplement with formula here and there (he's four months old and we're still on the free cans from the hospital). And he's not even eating solids yet.

Consumer Reports, a.k.a bible of the thrifty dork, is on the case.There's some ridiculous figure out there about how much it costs to raise a baby to adulthood. Of course, that seems to assume that you buy everything new, for yourself (no showers or hand me downs or whatever), disposable diaper and bottle feed, have your little darlings in every activity known to humanity and so forth.

Still, even with generous friends and families and an eye for resale, it can be breathtaking how much it actually costs to have a little baby around. We've been out of babyland for a couple years and now are horrified at how much money goes out of this house on a weekly basis, and we mostly cloth diaper and only supplement with formula here and there (he's four months old and we're still on the free cans from the hospital). And he's not even eating solids yet.

Consumer Reports, a.k.a bible of the thrifty dork, is on the case. They actually have a baby and kids blog, and this post talks about tips on saving on baby stuff. For example, sign up for every "new parent club" out there. They'll send you good coupons ($2 off diapers is par for the course) and formula "checks" (which has baffled every cashier at every store I ever used them at, but whatever).

They also suggest buying a warehouse club membership, which I can also vouch for – I've even given Costco memberships as baby gifts. They not only have good prices on whopping packs of diapers and wipes, but I've even seen fancy jogging strollers and bike trailers there, and really good deals on Carter's pajamas and cute dresses.

What are your tips to save on baby shopping? Any hidden coupon deals out there or good places to pick up bargains?

Budget Baby: Butcher It

Amy Kuras — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 22:02:00 GMT

Food costs right now are thoroughly insane – and that's if you aren’t, say, eating all organic produce which ought to have been watered by an angel's tears for the price it commands. I'm consistently shocked at how much our grocery bill jumps each month, and when one of the four people who live here stops getting the bulk of his nutrition from me, we're really going to be shelling out.

One way to cut food costs is to butcher your own meat. I found this idea from Cheap Stingy Bargains (via The Consumerist). Now, neither they nor I am suggesting you turn your garage into a slaughterhouse – just buy bigger cuts of meat and break them down into cuts and individual portions by yourself. The more a butcher does for you, the less you get and the more you pay.

The Cheap Stingy folks used the example of boneless skinless chicken breasts, which often cost so much per pound that you can spend more on two of them than you do on a whole chicken (which comes with two breasts, plus a whole bird's worth of meat besides). If you learn how to break down a bird, you get those breasts plus legs and thighs for another meal and a back, neck and bones for stock. Those lovely, fancy center cut boneless pork chops? Just a pork loin, sliced about an inch thick and generally lots cheaper than the chops.

Here's a site to learn more about butchering.

Budget Baby: Clip Coupns to Save Cash

Amy Kuras — Wed, 28 May 2008 01:34:00 GMT

I love coupons. I flip through them when I get the Sunday paper, sign up for mailing lists so I can get good ones in the mail (I even got one for wine today!), and own not one but two little coupon holder thingies (one for stuff I buy at Target and one for the grocery store, of course).
I know the majority of you are rolling your eyes right now, and that coupons are deeply unhip. But seriously, it can be a really good way to save money, especially on things you were planning to buy anyway. It doesn’t take that much time, either -- I flip through the coupon inserts in the weekend paper quickly pulling out the ones I'll use, and then clip and file them sometime before I go shopping. All told, it takes me maybe an hour if I've let the clipping slide for a couple weeks and I've saved upwards of $30 per shopping trip. And the more coupons you use, the more you get – my grocery store will send me coupons for $8 off my whole bill, just because I use my "frequent shopper" card there, and Costco sends us coupons almost every month.
This lady, though, is the Master. According to this article linked through Consumerist, she spends something like $10 a week on groceries to feed a family of five, and frequently walks out of the store having gotten an item for free or almost free.
Now a couple caveats to this –I think if you're going to save big money with coupons, you have to eat a lot of processed food, which I don't. There are coupons for healthy cereal and pasta and organic stuff here and there, but most frequently it is the kind of food that makes me put my head in my hands and weep for America. Thus I rarely experience the "getting an item for free" thing real coupon fiends do.
Still, with food prices spiraling, try using coupons just once. It's beyond awesome to stand at the cash register and watch your total go spinning down once all your discounts are applied.

Top 5 Cheap Kid Dates

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 22 May 2008 17:31:00 GMT

There are plenty of great reasons to have kids... and despite what some companies would like you to believe, they really aren't that expensive. Who else do you know whose day is made by a piece of jelly toast with butter?

With a long weekend ahead and summer looming, here are 5 cheap kid dates to help you enjoy some quality time with your progeny:

1. Take a Walk - Kids of any age enjoy fresh air and a nice walk with the folks. If you employ enough adjectives (magic! fairy! adventure!), even the most television-addicted kid, will easily be lured out of doors. My kids and I go on "nature walks" which is really just a slow meander around a small forested area near our house.

2. Count Clouds - When I was a girl, my grandmother used to sit with me in the backyard and ask me how many clouds I saw, including which animals they looked like. It's unbelievably relaxing and you can do it in a park or a backyard anywhere (providing it's not raining).

3. Whiffle Ball in the Park - Is there anything more adorable than a teeny kid whacking away at a white plastic ball with a big yellow bat? Get the whole family or the neighbor kids in on the game. And hit one out of the park for housebound parents everywhere.

4. Picnic - The joys of eating outside cannot be overstated. And what better audience to appreciate a hotdog under a tree than your favorite toddler? Even if all you do is bring sandwiches and eat them on a blanket in your back yard, it's an excuse to get some fresh air and avoid a huge messy post-meal kitchen. Throw in some music and a board game, and you have a fun day for the whole family, all for the cost of food and gas.

5. Kids Choice Dinner - Want to have some fun? Let your very young kids pick out and prepare what is for dinner. Last night we gave this a whirl and ended up enjoying carrots, cereal, and toast. Not bad for a couple of 6 year old girls who usually complain about dinner incessantly. They were so very proud of themselves and I didn't have to lift a finger (well maybe one or two).

There are also wonderful on-line resources, such as Dancing Meatballs -- a city listing of free /low-cost activities for families in search of some fun.

It's easy to believe that in order to do a good job as parents, our kids need to attend language classes, highly stimulating play spaces, and baby Mozart concerts. Truthfully, especially when young, kids mostly benefit from our time. And when else will someone be satisfied with us just as we are?

For more activities that are free or low-cost, go here.