Strollerderby : scientology

Morning News - Sean Penn and Natalie Portman?

Brett Singer — Wed, 13 May 2009 13:00:00 GMT

There are certain movie stars that, for me, are frozen in time. Natalie Portman is one of them. I may one day get over it, but I have trouble thinking of her as a grown woman. So when I read that she and Sean Penn are "together", and that their relationship may be the reason that Sean split with his wife Robyn Wright Penn, my initial reaction was "ew." Then I thought, hey, maybe I'm being unfair. She's a grown woman. Then I saw that she was 27 and he's 48. I know. It happens. Then I read this quote from a "source" about the couple -- "She stimulates him in ways no other person has, mentally or professionally." Aaaaand I was back to "ew." Lesson learned -- go with your instincts.

A teenager who led a cyber-attack against Scientology websites last year is pleading guilty. Tom Cruise says that there vitamins he can take to stop misbehaving like that. (Tom Cruise didn't say that. At least not as far as I know.)

A new study, published in the journal Applied Animal Behavior Science, says that animals like to play and have fun. The author, Jonathan Balcombe, "believes scientists, conservationists and other animal rights activists should not overlook animal joy." I think I understand what he means, but all you have to do is see how happy a dog is when you come home to know that animals can get happy. I do wonder what makes a guy want to do a study so he can find out that "animals experience happiness for happiness' sake related to play, food, touch and sex." By that I mean that he watches animals have sex. I mean, OK. Whatever, dude.

The New York State Assembly passed legislation that would legalize same-sex marriage. Yay! But it won't happen unless the Senate votes for it as well, and it doesn't look good. Boo!

Speaking of gay marriage, Donald Trump allowed Carrie Prejean to continue to serve as Miss California. I actually watched her news conference live, and what's fascinating is how she lies, repeatedly, and no one calls her on it. I'm not only talking about the "everyone is out to get me" nonsense; if she had lost her California crown, it would have been because she broke the rules by posing for semi-nude photos and being a paid spokesperson for an anti-gay marriage group. Her entire routine is load of hooey. She talked about the media not letting her tell her story -- but she's been on Fox News yapping about this since the paegent began. She said that she had been damaged by this whole affair -- except that, in reality, she got a freakin' job because of it. "This should not happen in America." Oh please. Physically, she's very attractive. But wow. What a dummy. She can't even speak clearly when she's reading a prepared statement. Somewhere, Vanessa Williams is shaking her head.

And finally, because I can't go five minutes without talking about Star Trek (have you seen the new movie? What are you waiting for, people?), new Spock Zachary Quinto revealed that he had his fingers glued together because he couldn't do the Vulcan hand jive that Leonard Nimoy made famous. I will never look at him the same way again.

Live long... and prosper...

Image: Wikipedia

SNL Mother's Day Skits

10 Year Old Burned By Tanning Bed

Suri Starts Her Scientology Training

SunnyChanel — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 19:30:00 GMT

So you want to raise yourself a scientologist? How do you go about instilling the values, rules and regulations into your school aged offspring? By sending them to the New Village Leadership Academy. This brand new school is a Church of Scientology education center that was launched just last year by superstar Will Smith and his wife Jada (even though there is much speculation, the couple haven’t come out publically as scientologists). This school will have a famous new student this week, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’s young daughter Suri.

The New Village Academy is located in Los Angeles and educates the pre-k to 6th Grade set. This private school has just 60 students, but they hope to get up to 80 soon. The staff are all reportedly trained Scientologists and the curriculum features “study technology” (the methodology for learning developed by L. Ron Hubbard) as a focus. They also are quite strict about nutrition with a low-carb, low-sodium, low-sugar and organic diet.

The school boasts a tailored and individualized program, which is made possible with such a small enrollment of students. Along with the academic basics the students are also schooled in “Living Skills, Spanish, Dance/Performing Arts, Science, Physical Education, Karate, Yoga, Communications, Social Studies, Leadership Development, Music, Robotics, Technology, Etiquette, and Art.” They also have a longer school day, ending at 4pm, so that there is less home work and hopefully more family time, that is when mommy and daddy aren’t off filming a movie. Although there is no is reference to scientology on the school’s website, reports say they adhere to strict Scientology principles.

Suri will be attending this school this week, right after her third birthday and will be attending classes five days a week.

Many have a gut reaction when hearing the term scientology but do you think this is any different than sending your kid to an established religious educational center such as a Catholic school?

Photo: Just Jared
Source

Bart Simpson-Scientologist

Brett Singer — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Telemarketing is annoying. Robocalls, telemarketing via robot, even more so. But a robocall that promotes a cult using the voice of a cartoon character popular with kids?

Very very bad.

Nancy Cartwright is the voice of Bart Simpson. She is also a Scientologist who reportedly gave more than $10 million to the religion/cult in 2007. (Wow. Voice acting pays better than I thought.) If she wants to give her money to an organization that promises to rid her body of aliens (or whatever it is that Scientologists believe), that's her right.

Nancy, however, wants more people to realize the benefits of Dianetics and giving your money away. Listen to this:

First I have to say that I have no idea what the hell she is talking about (man). "I'm now auditing on new OT VII." "OT" doesn't mean "occupation therapy"; it stands for "Operating Thetan." Which is "a spiritual state above Clear." Which means... you know what? I'm going to stop there because I don't even want to know. This stuff makes my brain hurt.

Why even write about this? Because it annoys me that Cartwright is using a character that kids might identify with to promote this nonsense. Personally, I think Scientology is a cult. But even if you give them the benefit of the doubt and call it a religion, it's still wrong. Obviously she thinks that using Bart's voice on the call is the equivalent of a kid running for student council president putting "Free Beer! Now That I Have Your Attention..." on her posters. (Which I think was something Homer did in a Simpsons episode.) Who is likely to be intrigued by hearing that voice? A kid who likes The Simpsons, right? "Hey dad! I just heard that the lady who does Bart Simpson's voice is going to be appearing someplace. Something about aliens. Sounds cool. Can we go?"

Is this line of thinking overwrought? Maybe. But Fox disavowed the call, so they clearly saw something wrong with it. I don't know if they can do anything to Cartwright; she didn't release a video with Bart's image or something else that was obviously a copyright violation. I hope that somebody sits Nancy down and explains to her that she's entitled to believe whatever she wants, but when she starts using Bart's voice to convince other people to believe in the same thing, she may find out that there are a lot of actors who can do a damn fine Bart Simpson impression.

(For lots of reasons why people think Scientology is not only creepy but dangerous, check out this site.)

Source: Gawker , Village Voice

Image: The Sun

Wife Set Husband's Genitals On Fire, Charged With Murder, Endangering Life

Baby Bikini and Pregnant Man Top 2008 Weird News List

Kids Explain How Babies Are Made

VIDEO: O'Reilly Upset About Two Year Old Bashing Bush

Bizarro News: Flaming Squirrel Sets Elementary School on Fire

Best of FameCrawler: Week of January 9th

Whit Honea — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 21:00:00 GMT

Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa Welcome Son with a Doozy of a Name

John Travolta's Son Dies

Jett Travolta - The Story of His Death

Romijn, O'Connell Twins: First Pictures & Names Explained

Update: John Travolta Son's Death Details & Statements

Jett Travolta's Family Speaks Out

New Details: Jett Travolta Died In His Father's Arms

Travolta Tragedy- Now the Rumors Begin

Jett Travolta's Death Investigated by Police

Did Scientology Kill Jett Travolta?

Couple Has Black & White Twins...Again!

Morning News: Civilian Death Toll Nears 600 in Gaza

Shannon LC Cate — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 14:22:00 GMT

I have always been interested in peace and justice issues, but I admit, since becoming a mother, I am cut to the bone when I see young children suffering helplessly due to war. The situation in Gaza is getting worse and worse, with nearly 600 civilian deaths so far and about half of them women and children. I don't know what we can do about it but I hope someone does something and soon.

Stateside, Barack Obama has been meeting with democratic leaders already, trying to round up early support for a huge tax break he'd like to see implmented by early February. It includes $500 for folks making under $200K and breaks for businesses. I'd say how very Republican of him, but I think, rather, he is a shrewd politician doing exactly what he needs to do to gain bipartisan support for his programs. But anyway, he is certainly no socialist. If only!

Bernie Madoff has, apparently, been spreading his own largess abroad. It seems he's given about a million dollars worth of jewelry to various family members and friends since posting his $10 million bail after his recent arrest. His sister-in-law might have worn your life savings to a New Year's Eve party, yo. As a result, prosecutors in his case are calling for the court to revoke his bail and put him behind bars until his trial. If he was a petty street criminal he'd certainly be in jail. I say bring out the cuff for Bernie.

Say what you will about autism denial and Scientology, we have nothing but sympathy for John Travolta and family. There was some speculation that Jett died of a head injury, but the autopsy has found it was a seizure.

Sorry to be such a downer today folks. It looks like the world is a mess this morning. On one final tragic note, it seems that Brown Pelicans in California are showing up ill, disoriented, bruised and dead in strange places and no one knows why. Maybe they are just sad.

Best of FameCrawler: Week of October 10th

Whit Honea — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Totally Biased Political Post Containing Cute Kids and Stuff (Video)

New Video & Photos: Angelina Jolie and Kids

Katie Holmes Tells Tom- I'm Leaving

Congrats, Emma! You Endured Pain In Childbirth! JOIN THE CLUB.

Bigot Bridget Bardot Mouths Off About Sarah Palin

Tina Fey is Sarah Palin on SNL: VP Debate (VIDEO)

Mark Wahlberg Talks to the Animals on SNL (VIDEO)

Ricky Schroder Talks About Son's Accident

Madonna Scares Me

The Truth About Angelina Jolie

JLo: I Had A Nervous Breakdown

John McCain Bingo!

Family Movie Night – Hairspray

Brett Singer — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Full disclosure: when I first heard a demo CD of the songs from the Broadway musical version of John Waters' film "Hairspray", I said, "Eh. That's not so great. Nobody's going to want to see it. It'll flop."

Um, right. Luckily the producers didn't listen to me, because the show has been running on Broadway for several years (long enough to have Jerry "The Beaver" Mathers play the mom for awhile, which is longer than most shows last, believe me), not to mention all the tours, regional and international productions, and of course the new film.

Unlike the new film version of "The Producers" musical, this new "Hairspray" is more fully re-imagined, which probably accounts for its greater success at the box office ($200 million, enough that there's actually going to be a sequel). The original Waters movie was very low-key, and definitely kept the hardcore gross out stuff to a minimum (if you've never seen Waters' "Pink Flamingos", you shouldn't, but there's a scene at the end that is so disgusting it haunts me to this day). In retrospect, turning "Hairspray" into a Broadway musical was actually a very good idea, since the story is quite sweet and has a positive message about racial inclusiveness, and also points out that fat people shouldn't be ostracized for their appearance. The musical and new film actually hammer that point home much harder than the original; singing about racial equality makes the message much more blunt than just showing it.

In theory, how is this a kids' movie at all? It's not, I suppose, but there's nothing in it that really crosses a line, except for a few lyrics here and there, most of which go over the heads of anyone that you would think is too young to hear them. ("Hey, baby! You look like you could use a stiff one!" – but he's talking about hairspray, so…) I've seen girls as young as six having "Hairspray" themed birthday parties, which is one reason why I think my son was actually willing to watch it. Both of the Things enjoyed it, the older one because it does have a reasonably involving story and good songs, the younger one probably because it's colorful and the music is quite good.

As for the cast, it's a mixed bag. John Travolta is not an upgrade over Divine, but she/he is dead, so that's not really fair. That said, Harvey Fierstein was so incredible on Broadway that they should have let him reprise his role on screen. I understand the need to cast big stars to ensure a film's success, but sometimes it's better to stick with the original. At least they had the courtesy to cut the line, "Hold mommy's waffles," which, when said by Fierstein on stage, actually had me laughing so hard I almost fell out of my chair. (Just take my word for it, it was hilarious.) Travolta is good in a way, but there's something almost too serious about his version of Tracy Turnblad's overweight shut-in mom. He does prove that he's still a terrific dancer, even weighted down with fifty-plus pounds of fat suit. It would be nice to see him do a musical film role that he's better suited for, or even a live turn on Broadway.

The new Tracy, Nikki Blonsky, is quite good. Rikki Lake, who played Tracy in the original, had a much tougher edge but so did Waters' film. I would watch Michelle Pfeiffer read the phone book, but she does more than that and is very good. I would have liked to see more Jerry Stiller, who has a borderline cameo as the owner of a local department store that hires Tracy to be a spokesperson. I had forgotten that he played Wilbur Turnblad in the 1988 film; his role was taken over by Christopher Walken, who I would also watch read the phone book (albeit for different reasons) and gives a solid performance, as always. James Marsden was a surprise as Corny Collins, the host of the local dance show. If that's his actual singing voice he should do another musical. Queen Latifah (Motormouth Maybelle) is no Ruth Brown but she's good enough.

Anyway, somewhat like the Broadway version, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I enjoyed this new "Hairspray", as did my kids. Recommended.

image: Amazon.com

More stuff YUPPIE parents like

The Dark Knight -- parents strongly cautioned (to go see it)

S&M Barbie

Hulk want puny blogger to review Hulk movie

2008 Emmy Nominations: Five Drama Mamas

7 days of summer reading

Best of FameCrawler: Week of August 1st

Whit Honea — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Christina Aguilera On A Bed Of Roses

More Beautiful Jolie-Pitt Family Photos!

Tom Cruise Named In Scientology Lawsuit

Federline is SHOCKED at Britney!

Miley Cyrus: Saying Goodbye To Hannah Montana?

What Actor Was Not Nice in Nice?

Formal McCarthyism

Who's Pregnant But Not Admitting It?

Britney's Bikini Photos Leaked!

Sarah Jessica and Matthew Broderick: EX In The City?

Top Five Celebrity Pregnancy Denials

Kate Hudson and Eric Lindros, Already

Readin', writin' and Dianetics?

Brett Singer — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:00:00 GMT

First of all, before we go any further: Will Smith has a school? Apparently yes. He and his wife, Jada Pinkett (the ones with the potentially open marriage), are opening the New Village Academy in Calabasas, California.

Most of the stories I saw about this topic are about the fact that some believe that New Village will teach kids about Dianetics and other Scientological things.

Smith and Pinkett deny that they are Scientologists themselves, and also say that the school is "secular." Although some teachers at the school are Scientologists, but they also employ instructors from other religious backgrounds. The school uses educational methods espoused by Scientology's founder, L. Ron Hubbard, something called "study technology." There will also be classes in robotics, (which sounds a little advanced for K-6, but who knows), as well as yoga and etiquette.

If you want to know more about the place, the school's web site has some info. "A Message From the Founders" doesn't say who the founders are but it does give a glimpse of their educational philosophy. The Admissions Application has no mention of Thetans, the planet Venus, or Dianetics, for what that's worth.

I'm not 100% clear on how involved Jada and The Actor Formerly Known as The Fresh Prince are in this venture (maybe he'll be the Fresh Principal?). This article says that the couple wanted to open a school "for some 10 years now," which would seem to indicate that this wasn't a snap decision. I'm not so sure I would send my kids to a school that was founded by anyone with no educational background, regardless of whether or not they teach robotics.

So, Scientology aside, my question still stands: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are opening a school? Really? If they open one near you, would you send your kids there?

image/source: Yahoo! Shine

More stuff YUPPIE parents like

Is it fair to take pictures of Britney's kids?

Schools tying up autistic kids

When playgrounds attack, the sequel

Lourdes and Miley kidnapped?

America's Main Problem? Men Are Oppressed

Cat Fight Back On - Posh Vs Katie Holmes

Will Smith Is Not Finished Squashing People: Next Up, Tom Cruise

Best of FameCrawler: Week of July 25th

Whit Honea — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 20:00:00 GMT

Pregnant Man Shares Baby Photos & Baby Name

Angie and Brad Couldn't Get It Done on Their Own?

Mindy McCready: Miscarriage?

What is Wrong With Katie Holmes?

2008 Emmy Nominations: Five Drama Mamas

Sex Tape: A-Rod and Madonna!

Maggie Gyllenhaal on Letterman- He Wishes

Jennifer Garner's Baby Bump: She's Pregnant Alright

Bob Geldof's Daughter Peaches' Drug Overdose

Brad Pitt Pulls A Britney

Jennifer Aniston, Oh So Gracious

Ashlee Simpson's C-Section

Scientology Parenting: Are Tom and Katie Feeding Suri Poison?

Cole Gamble — Mon, 12 May 2008 15:04:00 GMT

The good folks at Defamer have paid much attention to how many bottles famous Scientology mothers are giving their kids. Leah Remini has confessed to still bottle feeding her three-year-old and Suri here looks like she has no intention of stopping the “ba-ba.” Critics have called a lot of supposedly regular parenting practices of Scientology into question (“silent birth” anyone?). Now there is speculation as to what is in that bottle two-year-old Suri clutches so dearly. And that magic liquid might be toxic to kids… If you read into Scientology practices, and Defamer has, you’ll find Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard advocated feeding babies and children a homemade formula comprised of barley water, homogenized milk, and oodles of sugar-heavy honey. Funny thing is, honey can be toxic to young children. Furthermore, other Scientology moms and dads say Hubbard’s formula made their children thin, colicky and destroyed their teeth. Here’s the best part: Hubbard claims he discovered this formula when he time traveled back to ancient Rome. Well you know what they say: when in Rome…go bat-shit crazy.

Photo: defamer

Evolution Bad: Ben Stein’s Intelligent Design

Cole Gamble — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:31:00 GMT

We interrupt your regularly scheduled animosity toward Scientology with this Religious News Break. Did you know there is a conspiracy to squelch the teachings of Intelligent Design from our schools? Once again those fat cats at Big Science are choking us with their “truths” when what our children really clamor for is the rebel yell that is Intelligent Design.

At least, that’s what Ben Stein wants you to think. Stein stars in a new documentary called Expelled which asserts that creationism must be taken seriously by scientists. Among Mr. Stein and the filmmakers’ persuasive points: the theory of evolution paved the way for the holocaust…

Bueller? Bueller?

Expelled just opened last Friday, so if you want to catch it, you might wanna go soon. I predict it will have a short theatrical life and then enjoy a resurrection of cult-like following on DVD.

Before I jump into my rant let’s get to the questions for you. I realize I might make a lot of assumptions about our reading audience on Babble. Perhaps there are more intelligent design supporters out there than I give credit, so let me ask: do you think there is room for intelligent design in school curriculums? Is there room for it anywhere? Do you think it’s harmful to view it as a credible alternative to evolution?

Still here? Okay. Here’s MY big question: Why do science and religion have to go head-to-head ever? Pardon the cliché, but they are apples and oranges. In my mind, the two deal in categories of thought completely exclusive from one another. In other words:

Science looks for KNOWING. How do the chemicals in our brains create the sensation of love? How do they create pain?

Religion looks for MEANING. What does love mean? What does hurting mean?

As I have mentioned before, I believe faith and reason can coexist, we just need to know where they belong. Knowledge belongs in schools, faith belongs in churches. I don’t know why understanding the separation is so hard. I wouldn’t swing a bat in a china shop, nor would I bring an antique vase to a baseball game. Religion is a philosophy. It’s meaningful, but not fact. Biblical fact is not fact. You can’t apply the tenets of any philosophy to answer a scientific matter. That’s why you will never see a mechanic fix a Volkswagen by applying the Socratic Method.

Trying to shoehorn faith into the construct of science is as ill-fitting as, well, trying to pass a camel through the eye of a needle. Intelligent design is a closed system. Where science is always reaching out for answers, intelligent design draws a box around everything we understand and calls everything outside that box “God.” Case closed. Makes it hard to find new cures for diseases when you’ve already determined that is unknowable. Back in the early days of man, when there was no science only religion, the average human lifespan was under 30. If you are reading this and over the age of thirty, science is what got you here. Intelligent design, not so much.

How many minutes does Intelligent Design have left in the public’s attention span? Intelligent design just doesn’t seem like a concept that has legs. (You might argue it’s always been there, but thrusting it as an “empirically” proven theory to sit along side evolution seems like a rather modern and perhaps desperate positioning.)

Finally, it kind of hurts my heart because I had a soft spot for Ben Stein, silly old conservative he is. Yeah he was a speechwriter for Nixon. Yes, he’s responsible for Jimmy Kimmel, and by extension, responsible for The Man Show. His stint as host of a game show that might have actually been harder than Jeopardy gave me the impression that he is a man who puts intelligence first, not “intelligence.” I met him once and he seemed like a genuinely nice man (not that he shouldn’t be) full of curiosity. We were in a theatre I worked and he grilled me about the history of the theatre and this crazy thing called “improv” that we performed there. He just struck me as someone who valued knowledge and wanted to know more about everything he encountered. Oh well.

Video: Banned Pokémon Episodes

Brett Singer — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 14:00:00 GMT

We've established that the whole Pokémon thing is a little weird. But we didn't know just how weird. Some episodes of the popular TV show were deemed too bizarre or offensive to be shown outside of Japan. The episode that actually induced seizures is the most famous but there are others. And thanks to YouTube, you can see them without traveling overseas. I'm including explanations for the uninitiated.

*-*-*

Episode: "Miniryu no Densetsu"
First up is an episode where everyone appears to have a gun. Not futuristic Pokéguns. Real guns. With bullets. Which they threaten each other with constantly.

*-*-*

Episode: "Some Enchanted Sweetening"
Next we have Meowth, a member of the bumbling bad guys Team Rocket. Meowth is the only Pokémon that speaks like a human (that is, he can say words that aren't variations on his own name.) In the show he periodically tells bizarre stories about "The Boss" of his team. This particular story involves "The Boss" running in the desert while slathered with honey, wearing nothing but a Speedo. Then a bunch of Pokémon, um, show their affection for him. In a very physical way. This time it was just the scene that was removed.

*-*-*

Episode: "Beauty and the Beach"
The last, and by far the strangest, is one where, James, also of Team Rocket, suddenly appears in a bikini. With breasts. The context seems to be some sort of beauty contest. The subtitles read: "Aren't you a boy?" "What does it matter when I'm this beautiful? ... Wait until you're older and have these." There was no way to save this one; the entire episode was banned.

*-*-*

BONUS: Pikachu gets busy

This isn't a banned scene (yet), and it appears to have been captured by someone pointed a cell-phone camera at the TV, but it's kinda funny anyway.

*-*-*

Next time your little one plops down to watch the latest episode of his or her favorite show, maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a peek and see what's going on. You know, just in case.

Yu-Gi-Oh No, Please, Stop Talking

Brett Singer — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 20:00:00 GMT

ParentsConnect has an essay called "I Hate Yu-Gi-Oh!" which, if you have a kid who is into a similarly bizarre pastime, should remind miserable you that you have company. We've established here that some kids' games are cult-like in their strangeness. As for the writer asking, "To be a good mom, do I need to learn to duel?" I'm going to say no. Smiling and nodding works pretty well, and eventually the kid will either find people his own age to battle with, and/or get into something else. Like, you know, beer and girls, at which point you will probably be wishing that he would pull out his old trading cards and return to more innocent times.

image: 4KidsTV

Scientology vs Pokémon

Brett Singer — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 13:15:00 GMT

Scientology is everywhere these days, from Tom Cruise's wacky video to actors claiming that the religion is responsible for their success in television. The general consensus is that (a) Tom is a kook, and (b) Scientology is weird. The same day I first saw Tom laugh maniacally and claim that he was "the only one who can help," I also listened to my son tell me, in great detail, about his current obsession, Pokémon. So I started thinking: what's weirder, Pokémon or Scientology?

There are some basic similarities:

Both words are made up, and were formed by combining two other real words (“Science+Technology” and “Pocket+Monsters”.)
Both have rabid followers (talk to a six year old about it sometime, and see if you don't consider, just for a second, having them deprogrammed.)

Here are some more comparisons between the religion and the kids' game:

	Scientology	Pokémon
Example of beliefs	The thetan (spirit) is described in Scientology as having no mass, no wavelength, no energy and no time or location in space except by consideration or postulate. The spirit, then, is not a thing. It is the creator of things —1956, Professional Auditor's Bulletin 85 (source: Wikipedia)	Players of the [Pokémon] games are designated as Pokémon Trainers, and the two general goals (in most Pokémon games) for such Trainers are: to complete the Pokédex by collecting all of the available Pokémon species found in the fictional region where that game takes place; and to train a team of powerful Pokémon from those they have caught to compete against teams owned by other Trainers, and eventually become the strongest Trainer, the Pokémon Master. (source: Wikipedia)
Sacred text	Dianetics	Pokédex
Sacred item	Deluxe Planetary Dissemination Edition E-Meter ($5500) (source: The New Yorker)	Trading cards, video games ($5 - $50)
Patron saint	L. Ron Hubbard	Professor Oak
Controversy	Some believe it to be more of a cult than a religion; outlawed in some countries	Episode of cartoon series caused seizures in children; has been attacked by religious groups for various reasons, including taking offense at the concept of “Pokémon evolution” (FYI, there is no “Pokémon intelligent design”)
South Park episode making fun of it	“Trapped in the Closet”	“Chinpokomon”

Bottom line: both are an obsession, both sound whack-a-doodle to the uninitiated, and both want your money. But Pokémon wants less of your money, and most kids grow out of it and/or move on to something else.
Maybe someone should buy Tom Cruise a Pikachu doll. Couldn't hurt, right?

Best of FameCrawler: Week of Feb. 29th (Leap Year Edition)

Whit Honea — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Best of Famecrawler: Heidi Klum Shows Her (Not So) Good Side

Kelly Mills — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 21:30:00 GMT

Posted by HerBadMother

Heidi Klum's good side: hot.

Heidi Klum's backside: NOT HOT.

Droopy butt cleavage and back wrinkles? I hope that those are just the result of the way that she's standing, and not the consequence of trying to lose too much baby weight too fast. Either way: Heidi, put a shirt on.

See the darker side of celebrity parents on these Famecrawler posts:

Brooke Shields Contemplating Joint Birthday Party with Suri Cruise

MetroDad — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 00:16:00 GMT

Brooke Shields hopes to have a joint birthday celebration for her daughter Grier and BFF TomKat's own lil' Suri. Back when their parents still loathed each other's existence, the babies were born right down the hall from each other at St. John's Medical Center on April 18th of last year. What better way to honor it all than with a big ol' birthday bash?

Now, there are about a million ways to make fun of what a Scientology birthday party might entail but I couldn't come up with anything funnier than the imagined scenario written up by my friends over at A Socialite's Life, where they envision Brooke showing up at the Cruise manse with streamers and wearing a party hat and Katie Holmes is all wan and pale and brainwashed.

Brooke: Hey! I'm here for the party!
Katie: What? Uh, I'm really not allowed to have people in...wow, it's really sunny out today. I miss the outdoors.
Brooke: Katie, it's me! Brooke Shields? Remember? Tom trashed me in the press and then apologized? Remember we said since our kids were born so close together that we would have a combined birthday party?
Katie: Listen, can you get a message to the outside for me? Please, you've got to listen to me. He'll be home any minute...
Brooke: I brought a cake, and some photographers, and oh, the baby. Wave hi, Grier!
Katie: *hangs head, listlessly*

We're all going to hell, aren't we? At the very least, the intergalactic warlord alien Xenu is probably going to be pissed at us.

John Travolta Wants More Kids...Cuz The Aliens Said So

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 14:32:00 GMT

According to Celebrity Babies, John Travolta, 53, and his wife Kelly Preston, 44, will try for more children beginning this summer. Why? Because it's what the alien clam people want. Travolta credits his children with keeping his marriage together saying that it's because of the kids that he and Preston try so hard to make them happy.

Travolta and Preston and well-known Scientologists, and perhaps this latest mandate to help build L. Ron Hubbard's army was disclosed to them aboard Freewinds, a.k.a. the Scientology "Love Boat" reserved only for Operating Thetan VIII's (also known as "celebrities.")

The couple have two children together, Jett, age 14, and Ella Bleu, 6.

Katie Holmes Dishes on Her Perfect Mom Life

Alisyn — Sun, 04 Feb 2007 22:19:00 GMT

In February's Bazaar magazine cover story, Katie Holmes dishes about married life, motherhood, and more. (Is it just me, or is she starting to adopt that revolting "Smile! AMAZING! WOW! AWESOME! Smile!" Tom-speak in her speech?)

On married life: "I'm very grateful. Tom makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and has since the day I met him. I love being with him. I love calling him husband... when I sit back and reflect it's... wow!" (Can't you just hear the smiling?)

On motherhood: "I've really enjoyed this time that I have taken to be with Suri as well as the challenges of the first couple of months: feeding and pumping, learning to decipher what each cry means – is she hungry? Is she tired? Does she need a fresh diaper? – and figuring out how to really help her." Does she want more children? "Definitely."

On pregnancy: "I felt so proud to be having a baby and so excited," she tells Bazaar. "And I felt closer to other women – to my sisters, to my mom. I felt empowered, like, 'I've given birth. I did it! There's nothing I can't handle.' " (AWESOME!)

Katie does sound like a happy new mom and wife - I hope she is. But - and maybe this is just my fear of Tom Cruise/ Scientology talking - doesn't the happiness sounds so forced and heavy handed? Like she's thinking that if she utters one less than AMAZING! word, her mask will crack, and the messy, not-so-perfect bits of her life might peek out? Her happiness makes me kind of sad for her. Psst - Katie! Just send the word, and I'll smuggle some Wellbutrin into your next delivery from your Barney's personal shopper. I won't tell Tom. I promise.