Strollerderby : secrets

10 Naughty Things We Do to Our Kids (but keep doing anyway)

Cole Gamble — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 12:00:00 GMT

Let’s face it; if you were to put secret surveillance on them 24/7, any parent would look like a putz. There are things that we do with our kids, when others aren’t about or are out of ear shot, that we maybe feel bad about. But not bad enough to stop doing.

#10: Laughing when your daughter farts.

#9: In a moment of weakness, grousing about one child to the other.

Your Four-year-old: Why does Dalton (the toddler) get to stay up?

You: Because he’s crazy and I’m tired of fighting him. He’s being a butthead.

YFYO: Yeah, he’s got a stinky head.

#8: When they get way too many Easter baskets from relatives, hiding one and keeping the candy contents to yourself.

#7: Making your spouse the bad guy. “Mommy wouldn’t like it if she saw what you’re doing.”

#6: Keeping your kid downstairs on a perpetual loop of Sesame Street because you want a beer/glass of wine.

#5: Forget to brush their teeth.

#4: The next night encouraging them to brush by telling them their breath smells like “dog food.”

#3: Let your kid, freshly bathed and wet, prance around the house naked playing her favorite character “Jungle Girl” for way longer than perhaps appropriate.

#2: Not being as diligent as you think you should about your own nudity around the kids.

#1: When you don’t have time to go to the park, telling them the “park is closed.”

What are your dirty parenting secrets?

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Strollerderby Playdate: True Confessions

Adrienne Martini — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:30:00 GMT

I've got a little secret to share about my playdate this morning. No, no, it's nothing like that. Pervs. It's this: if you put my leg side-by-side with my playdater, it'd be hard to tell whose is more furry.

You think I'm kidding. Or, maybe, you just hope I'm kidding. I am not.

That's just one of the many confessions that Michelle W. forced me to admit while I was reading her blog, sometimes disgruntled. There are days when I also watch the clock and count the minutes that I have to be on-call for the children. There are moments when I wonder how the heck those rich-in-hits blogging moms do it. And there are times that Sponge Bob is my favorite critter ever.

You might just see yourself confessing a little bit too. Own your secrets, hairy legs and all.

Baby Skeleton In Trunk and Mom Secrets

Kelly Mills — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 15:31:00 GMT

This story has been fascinating me for a couple days: Some grown siblings were cleaning out their mother's house after she died in early December. Under the bed they found an old suitcase, and in the suitcase they found some of their mother's clothes and, oh, a baby skeleton. The infant was determined to have been born at 35 weeks gestation, was dressed in a smock, and curled in the fetal position. There were no signs of trauma to the infant, but there's an ongoing police investigation.

The siblings who found the skeleton say they didn't recognize the suitcase, but the clothes belonged to their mother, which must just raise about 90 thousand questions for them. Avoiding any obvious skeleton in the closet references, it did start me thinking about the things we don't know about our parents, and the secrets we'll keep from our children. This is an extreme case of course, but I bet many folks would be stunned to learn certain facts about their own mothers. Love affairs, seamy pasts, questions about paternity, experiments with god knows what: Are there things you will keep secret from your children? Have you learned anything about your folks that blew your mind?

Secrets and Lies

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Sat, 08 Sep 2007 19:11:00 GMT

Moms who smoke pot, breastfeed each other's children, struggle with feelings of ambivalence about their children and their marriages. Is this the stuff of True Mom Confessions (or another daily read at Babble)? Or just a list of the usual secrets parents keep? When is telling the truth freeing? When is it merely exhibitionism?

Chicago Moms blogger Maryann Mohanraj writes about the dilemma all writers, all bloggers, face. Telling the truth isn't only a decision about privacy (our own and our family's) but also a calculation of the risks of truth-telling balanced again the fear and shame of someone knowing who we really are. Ms. Mohanraj takes the plunge, bares her soul, and if the comments are any indication, is vindicated for her bravery.

When we become parents, we often make the mistake of eradicating all signs of youthful (irresponsible?) freedom from our lives (and here I'm not talking *just* about wild free sex and drug hazed Sundays). Many people operate under the myth that to be a good parent (especially a good mama) one must deny the sinful past and start living a white picket fenced dreamy future. But by telling the truth about what is really happening in our imperfect worlds, we all do each other a huge favor and banish June Cleaver from our mythology. Hopefully someday sites like True Mom Confessions (and its partner in crime True Dad Confessions) won't be necessary because we'll all grow collective balls and start telling the truth.

Potty Training "Secrets"!

Karen Murphy — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 17:08:00 GMT

I love Gmail. You know why? Because at the top of the page are links for interesting news items (Reuters Oddly Enough, Motley Fool), and best of all, advertisements personally tailored just for me! (Which is why I see things for Powernap.com and for colon cleansing). But this one, every parent can use! "Potty training in Three Days! Potty Training Secrets That Work Say Good Bye To Diapers Forever". Wow. Here's the pitch:

My guaranteed potty training system works no matter what. It doesn't matter if your child is a boy or girl. It doesn't matter if you have one child or twins. It doesn't matter if your child is 2 or 5. It doesn't matter if your child suffers from autism or other delays. It doesn't even matter if your child is not born yet.

"Not born yet"?? [slapping side of head] Of course! That is totally what we should have, Potty Training In Utero! Why mess around with potty chairs and poop and all that when they're toddlers when you can do it even before birth! (It's even better than elimination communication) I so wish I had this book when I was pregnant. What was I thinking?