Strollerderby : sex education

Sixth Grader's Project on Harvey Milk Banned by School

JeanneSager — Mon, 25 May 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Natalie Jones just wanted to get a good grade on her sixth grade project. She didn't know writing about Harvey Milk, a person she said stood up for all people regardless of their backgrounds, was going to make schools officials pull out their "sex education" policies.

Maybe because she's in sixth grade, and she wasn't writing about sex?

The California sixth grader was yanked into the principal's office the day before her Power Point present was slated to be given in class, and complimented by the administrator for doing high school quality work. A backhanded compliment, apparently, because the principal then informed Natalie she was probably not going to be making the presentation the following day.

"She explained to me because he was a gay, that not maybe all the parents might agree with their kid watching that," Jones said in an interview with CNN.

OK, better to pretend the gays just don't exist then? Because, as Natalie's mother, Bonnie, pointed out - this was a project on a man's life. It wasn't about gay sex. Natalie picked the state's first openly gay politician to profile after watching the Sean Penn Academy Award-winning movie (named Milk, by the way, if you've been hiding under a rock and haven't heard about it). She said it's because "he stood for all minorities, no matter what you were." See, nothing about sex, folks.

And that's where Mt. Woodson Elementary School really got this one wrong. Because they picked on a kid talking about a homosexual person not only as though that were something bad but as if that's all he was. Yes, Harvey Milk was openly gay and did a lot for gay rights. But he was also a politician in California. A pretty famous one. And this is a California student writing about an influential figure for a report for a California school.

So they're not only teaching kids that they discriminate against homosexuals and encouraging discrimination, but they're teaching them how to pigeonhole people based upon one part of their life.

The ACLU is demanding an apology from the school district, by the way, and has threatened to file a lawsuit.

Image: Amazon

'The Kinda Sutra': Where Do You Think Babies Come From?

Madeline Holler — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 20:58:00 GMT

Remember when you didn't actually know where babies came from? Well, where did you think they came from? One filmmaker asked a bunch of grown-ups-who-now-know-better that question and made a short little film out of it.

So where DID you think babies came from? What do your kids think? What did/do you plan to tell them? Surely we're not still going with the stork story, right?

[via Wired]

Find more videos like this on AdGabber

More Posts

Stay-At-Home Moms are the Best, Aren't They!

Texas Rep: Change Your Weird Asian Name!

How to Pick the Perfect Name for Siblings

They Say: Because You're Crazy, Your Kids Eat Like Crap

Why Teen Girls are Taking Drugs Meant for Cows

JeanneSager — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:01:00 GMT

It's rumor and conjecture at this point, but Wisconsin health officials are taking seriously claims that a rash of teenage girls have taking drugs commonly used on cows to force their bodies to abort babies.

The kids allegedly got hold of prostaglandins, drugs used by farmers to regulate cows' heat cycles for breeding, and ingested them as "a cheap and easy way to end their pregnancies without their parents finding out."

According to officials, as many as ten girls ages fourteen to eighteen have owned up to the home abortion practice, and the American Veterinary Medical Association has gotten pro-active, sending warnings to practitioners about the usage and storage of the drug to discourage the practice from spreading.

Though the numbers are still small, that it's happening at all is clearly indicative of the fact that these kids are just that - kids. Shannon reported on the alarming spike in teenage pregnancies recently, pointing to the fact that at least half of American teens are having sex. Throw in kids' fear of being proactive with pregnancy preventions, and it's not hard to imagine how kids end up in this predicament.

They're having sex like adults. But they're still kids. And at the end of the day, they are afraid of how to properly deal with the consequences of their actions. They're afraid of owning up to their parents that they've made a mistake.

What should happen? It's really up to the kids and their families. Whether it's a baby given up for adoption, a baby kept or an abortion (pro-life groups are naturally using the news to once again decry legalized abortions, somehow arguing that legalizing abortions has actually encouraged these types of home abortions despite the fact that the legalized abortions means kids have much better options) is dependent on the family and their situation, but what's important is that these kids get the support of adults, adults who have the good sense not to feed their kids dangerous drugs meant for massive animals with drastically different genetic make-up.

But as Shannon pointed out recently, with abstinence-only education comes a lack of discussion about what happens when. . . and if . . . And pregnancies are happening, have always happened. Shrouding sex in mystery is not stopping it, but it is still putting our kids at risk.

Image: SFGate.com

Smackdown: I Don’t Care If My Daughter Has Sex as a Teen

Miriam Axel-Lute — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 15:01:00 GMT

Progressive, feminist, supposedly sex-positive parents are, of course, pretty well united against the absurd excesses of abstinence-only education and the religious no-sex-until-marriage frenzy.

What continues to amaze me though, is how little the positions they do take really vary from the underlying values of the abstinence worshippers.

As a parent, I keep running into a nudge, nudge, wink, wink understanding that even though we know it’s not good to base policy on it, of course really we all want to put off our daughters’ sexual awakenings as long as possible (or at least until they’re out of the house). There are jokes about chastity belts and not letting boyfriends come over until age 30. Every once and a while I feel the urge to get out a calendar and check the year.

I confess that I don’t get it. Not a smidgen. (And neither, for the record, does her father.) I don’t think this is just a matter of my having a defective freak-out gene. I really think that this attitude is not in our daughters’ best interests.

Concerned and thoughtful parents like my colleague Shannon, argue that it’s not really about the squick factor. They think it’s important for their daughters to put off the confusion and emotional drama of sexual relationships in order to get solid in forming their own identities, to make sure that they don’t get distracted by serving other’s needs first.

It sounds good at first, but I have to disagree. It’s not sex that hampers girls’ development, sense of self, or progress toward a career. It’s negative, hysterical, sexist attitudes about sex. (And the unintended pregnancies, abusive relationships, etc. that follow.)

The self-esteem argument is really the religious right’s argument minus the God and marriage specifics. It says this: “Sex is such a god-awful big deal that it will necessarily consume you when it happens and so you must wait for some future time at which you will miraculously be able to handle it.”

I don’t buy it. Sex is a powerful force, sure, but we have a fair amount of control over how much power we really give it. Making it something dangerous to your very identity gives it just as much power as making it central to your very identity.

I think this attitude is partly to blame for teens continuing to mistake sex for love. It also still places far too much emphasis on the importance of the “first time,” leaving girls (and women) feeling attached to first lovers who don’t deserve a third glance (or feeling like failures for choosing a less-than-perfect first lover).

In its usual gender-specific form, this attitude also perpetuates the idea that girls can’t really want sex for their own reasons, that they must be succumbing to the media hype and trying to please someone else and they will automatically lose their sense of self in a sexual relationship.

(Yes, clearly, far too many girls are getting pushed into sex they don’t want. But telling them they should never say yes does not help teach them when/how to say no.)

Of course I also have to wonder why, if people think sex is such an overwhelming cognitive thing to get started at, the conclusion they draw from that is that it’s a good idea to put it off until kids leave the nest and are distanced from familial support systems and previous friends, have easier access to alcohol, are first learning to live on their own, and are facing academic and/or job pressure. Or, for that matter, until they are 30, feeling their biological clocks and suffering pressure (internal and external) to find “the one” and settle down.

Obviously I wouldn’t argue that everyone ought to start having sex in high school. “Ready” is a super complex and individual cocktail (and takes two). Not everyone over 18 or 20 is ready. Not everyone younger isn’t. But high-school does have some potential advantages: financial security, parental backup if needed, and some extra time to be processing, daydreaming (or angstfully writing in a journal). That could all actually form a safer place to experiment than newly adrift in the “real world.”

Of course we all use our own experience as a touchstone. I starting “fooling around” at 15 and having sex at 17 with someone trustworthy I’d been dating for many months and who served, as good friends and partners do, to help me learn more about myself as well as how to have a relationship. I made out with a jerk or two in there first and lived to tell the tale with my self-esteem intact. In fact, those early experiences gave me a very clear and relatively safe tutorial in the difference between attraction and love, flirtation and friendship, passion and trust that has served me well.

If my daughter has the chance to do the same—armed with the facts to protect herself and the solid knowledge that her worth doesn’t depend on her choosing one way or the other—it won’t bother me in the slightest.

Photo by Made Underground, via Flickr.

The Other Side:

Smackdown: Sex Before Twenty? Hopefully Not My Kids

More by this author:

Smackdown: Sex Before Twenty? Hopefully Not My Kids

Shannon LC Cate — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 14:59:00 GMT

I am not a believer in abstinence-only sex "education." I think chastity balls are unrealistic at best and creepy as all get out at worst. I have no interest in telling girls and women that having sex diminishes their value as a human being. It's pretty obvious that whatever complications sex may entail can be avoided by avoiding sex. One hardly needs a class in school to figure that one out. All I can assume then, is that these abstinence-only classes, virginity pledges and the like are really about moral judgement and shame.

Being against moral judgement and shame, I'm all for real sex education. I want my kids to know all there is to be known about sex and its consequences, about relationships and how to recognize a dangerous one and how to maintain a healthy one. I'd like my girls to know all of this information, file it in their brains and then not use it until they are out of their teens (like I did).

First of all, some may say this is a pipe dream, that teenagers do and will have sex. But actually, less than half (46%) of teens between 15 and 19 have had "sex" at least once. For nineteen year olds, the figure is still only 70%. That's a far cry from "everybody does it." And while I do believe every child should be prepared with the knowledge and healthcare access that assumes teen sexual activity, I hope my children don't choose to engage in serious sexual relationships (or, for that matter, fleeting ones) before they are at least 20, even with proper contraception at their fingertips.

Why? Because sexual relationships--especially first ones--tend to be highly energy consuming and emotionally draining. Sexual relationships assume (I am talking here only about voluntary sexual relationships) a serious investment of interest, time and concern in another human being--the sexual partner--and I'd like my girls to be a little more self-centered in their youth. I want my girls to have ample opportunity to explore who they are, what they love about themselves and about life before they get bogged down with Hollywood's version of love--a romantic, sexual relationship. I fear that too much time and energy spent on a sexual partner will rob them of time and energy they could be spending developing real knowledge of themselves; real love for themselves. And I think it's this kind of knowledge and love of self that can make for better relationships when they do happen.

In this day and age, in the socio-economic class my girls inhabit, people don't settle down until their mid-twenties or later. There is just no need for serious courtships and relationship practice in high school.

Girls and women learn fast enough that society values them most for what they can offer others. And while I want my girls to be generous, I want their generosity to flow from a full place within themselves, a place I'd like them to take some time to fill.

My Beautiful Cervix

Madeline Holler — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 18:02:00 GMT

No, no, that's not me bragging. It's some other woman. She's showing off her cervix in all its course-of-a-monthly-cycle glory on her blog My Beautiful Cervix.

I'm no judge when it comes to an internal organ's appearance, so I wouldn't know a beautiful cervix from an ugly one. (Right now, I'd settle for one stretched open 10 centimeters, but I'm 9 months pregnant. In terms of charting my fertility, thanks, I'm good.)

Still, her daily cervix update is interesting -- she really put a lot into it (word choice, Madeline, word choice).

For 33 days, the 25-year-old doula and student midwife opened herself up (with a reusable plastic speculum) and had her head-lamp wearing boyfriend take pictures. She starts on the first day of her period and ends on the night before her next period begins.

Most notably, she includes pictures -- lots and lots of pictures -- of her cervix, its changing shape and position, and a few visual samples of her cervical mucus. If you work with people who would recognize (and be horrified by) the business end of a pap smear, consider the blog NSFW.

She also charts her basal body temperature, shows graphs of the whole ovulation cycle and describes how she's feeling each day (emotional, tired, tender heart-achy) to put all the pieces together. Apparently, such detailed documentation has never been done.

It's all pretty familiar-yet-fascinating and something lots of even really smart women really don't get. I mean, quiz your lady friends: do most/any know that the cervix changes positions depending on where a woman is at in her cycle? What about cervical fluid? Rising temperatures? It's all about those fertile days: can you say which days those are?

No shame if you can't because it's not that any of us learned this in health class, so focused on Day 1 to 6 as the teacher/nurse was. Teacher/nurse might not have known herself what goes on, and even if she did she'd probably get fired for telling young girls how to identify their fertile days -- lest they use that info as contraception. I'll confess, I never really understood the details until a friend in grad school recounted the details of this book to anyone who would listen (female or male).

What do you think? Is the blog ridiculous? Informative? Or is she just being a show-off (perfectly round OS and all ...)? And seriously, how'd she make it past Day 3, much less all the way to 33, with daily speculum insertion? That's dedication!

Totally Shocked Parents Return Baby to Hospital

When Bugs Infest Your Child's Scalp

Yes, Vagina, There Is a Santa: A Gift Guide for Cool Parents

The Shape of a Mother

Photo: fitsugar.com

Scouts in the UK Really, Really Prepared

Shannon LC Cate — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 23:00:00 GMT

From the Guardian:

"Scouts will for the first time will be given sexual health advice and may be issued with condoms to prevent unprotected sex, under guidelines to be issued today by the Scout Association.

In a new interpretation of the scout motto Be Prepared, visits to sexual health clinics will also be included.

Once again basic common sense prevails across the pond in a way that could never happen in the nonsensical United States. The Scout Association (UK's prequel to the Boy Scouts of America) have issued new guidelines for scouts aged 14-18 that include comprehensive sex education. Peter Duncan, the chief scout of the national organization made the point that "We must be realistic and accept that around a third of young people are sexually active before 16 and many more start relationships at 16 and 17."

Even so, part of the scouting guidelines include role-playing saying no and encouraging young people to wait later to become sexually active.

Scouting is gender-integrated in the UK, but 85% of those involved are boys. Maybe it's easier to accept sexual reality when it's applied to boys? What do you think? Would you support sex-education coming from a source like scouting?

Teaching Healthy Relationship Skills in Health Class

Shannon LC Cate — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Here's some good news on the sex education front. "A new law in Rhode Island called the Lindsay Ann Burke Act requires all public middle and high schools to teach students about dating violence in their health classes." Named for a young girl killed by her abusive boyfriend, the law mandates teaching the warning signs of an abusive relationship in the public high schools. But more than just signs of abuse, the classes also teach skills for building good romantic relationships as well as healthy friendships.

The National Association of Attorneys General has passed a resolution that the classes be offered at schools everywhere in the United States, and Liz Claiborne Inc. is helping to promote the idea across the country.

Having taught young adults in high school and college, I have seen many young girls confuse controlling behavior for love. It's not surprising, given the popular culture's tendancy to portray relationships that verge on the pathological as the heights of true love. (Just think of the "bad boy" archetype.) Though it's never easy to make someone see abuse for what it is when she's under the spell of romance (or fear, as the case so often is), maybe teaching kids the difference between healthy passion and dangerous obsession will help.

Image: Georgia Family Law Blog

Tyra Banks Talks to Wanna-be Teen Moms

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Guests on last night’s Tyra Banks Show included a pregnant 13-year-old who used to want to be a lawyer, but who now says, without a tone of regret, that she doesn’t think she’ll make it to college. A 14-year-old who is actively trying to get pregnant said that she believes that her boyfriend would “probably marry” her if she got pregnant—unless he decides he doesn’t want to be with her anymore “for some reason.” Perhaps that reason could be going to college instead of continuing to mow lawns to support his family? This teenager also said that she wants a baby because she thinks baby showers are just so “fun and adorable!” Tyra wisely reminded her that a baby shower lasts for two hours.

I’d like to pass the topic of this show off as one of those sensational trends that gets a lot of media coverage but doesn’t necessarily reflect real life. But the fact is, one in three teenage girls will become pregnant before she turns 20—that’s the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the industrialized world. And teen pregnancy rates in the U.S. are on the rise for the first time in 15 years.

It’s clear from listening to these girls talk that they are lacking something fundamental—a sense of control over their lives or the experience of unconditional love, to put it broadly. Adolescence is such a difficult time of life and the thought that one could have a tiny, adorable being to devote one’s self to—rather than having to work to forge a life for one’s self—could be appealing to some youth. But, naturally, this fantasy is nothing like the reality of being a teen mom.

Young men and women need not only comprehensive sex education, but parenting and marriage education that explains that these are not states into which one enters lightly. And almost all of the media hubbub over teen pregnancy has focused on girls. What about the boys who are getting these girls pregnant? They need to understand the consequences of their actions just as much as girls do, including the risk that having sex at such a young age will make their partners long for, and perhaps seek, more commitment than they can handle.

Thanks to Jezebel, you can watch a clip of the last night’s show here.

Photo: informedvoters.wordpress.com

Are Shotgun Weddings the Best Answer to Teen Pregnancy?

Mommy What is "Oral"?

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Fri, 30 May 2008 23:06:00 GMT

Apparently, Monica Lewinsky started a trend. And kids today are sitting up and paying attention at a younger and younger age. While it is easy, especially as a parent to very young children, to completely block out any need to have "the talk," it does sneak up on you, the kids getting older thing.

Many parents may be surprised at how common oral sex has become among kids today....

In fact, it has become nearly as common and as popular as vaginal sex. In terms of oral, however, the p still trumps the v in terms of getting any action... so it seems to me we still have a way to go there, ladies and gentlemen.

But parents who want their kids to have good refusal and decisionmaking skills when it comes to sex should be aware that the kinds of things on the menu now might be more adventurous than when we were coming up.

Pole Dancing Kits and Other Modern Toys

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 21 May 2008 22:30:00 GMT

Padded bras for first graders, bikini waxes for eight-year-olds, pole dancing kits sold alongside Etch-a-sketches in the toy store—excuse me, but how did this happen? How is it affecting girls' self-image? And, um, what happened to feminism? These are a few of the questions tackled in a recent Salon interview with M. Gigi Durham, author of “The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young Girls and What We Can Do About it.”

As her book title would suggest, Durham places the burden of sexualizing girls at increasingly young ages squarely on the media’s shoulders. She argues that many companies are looking to exploit tweens’ increasingly significant contribution to the commercial sector by selling them traditional messages about femininity that the older generation of women has by and large rejected.

Interestingly, Durham connects the commercial sexualization of young girls with women’s inability to enjoy their sexuality later on. The abstinence-only sex education programs that have become increasingly prevalent in the Bush years combined with media’s message that “You must look like Barbie to be sexy” creates a very confusing, potentially dangerous backdrop against which young women come to understand their sexuality. Even as teen girls are encouraged to ignore their own sexuality, they’re told, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it. And if you don’t have it, spend a lot of money until you get it.”

Durham’s advice to parents? Discuss, but don’t censure. For instance, instead of forbidding your daughter to read Seventeen magazine, ask her what she thinks of that model’s look or that article about how to make boys like you. And she says that this dialogue about media propaganda should start, in modified form of course, as soon as your kids can talk. Anyone out there tried this method?

Photo: Girlshop.com

Counseling Over Transgendered Third Grader

Kelly Mills — Tue, 13 May 2008 22:35:00 GMT

When a third-grade boy in Pennsylvania decided to transition to being female, his parents asked the school for assistance with peer acceptance. The school consulted with experts on transgender children and asked a school counselor to hold sessions with 100 third graders to explain why their classmate would be taking a different name and wearing female clothing. The idea was to help the kids with acceptance and to prevent them from saying mean things.

So what's the kerfuffle? I bet you can guess. The school sent letters to parents the day before the sessions informing them of what would be happening. And clearly the parents need the counseling more, because while both the guidence counselor and the mom of one of the boy's friends say the kids are pretty cool with the whole thing, the adults are irate. One wrote an interesting and critical commentary of the school, saying, "Introduction of sexual abuse prevention programs over the years should have taught these educators that most parents like to have a say in all aspects of their children's sexual education--particularly one that could be controversial." Is this sexual education? I guess it is in one biological sense of the word 'sex', but it seems to me it's more about diversity, communication, basic decency, and not being an asshole just because your parents are. Then again, I live in California, which the author of the commentary seems to think is nut-land.

Abstinence-Only Sex Ed. Under Fire

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 11:59:00 GMT

Is it possible that the $113 million a year the Bush administration spends to finance abstinence-only sex ed. might be better spent elsewhere? It’s a shocker, I know, but a recent study in the Journal of Adolescent Health revealed that abstinence-only sex education does not stop teens from having sex: in fact, those who receive comprehensive education are 50 percent less likely to become pregnant than those who go through an abstinence-only program and are 60 percent less likely to become pregnant than those who receive no sex ed. Coming in the wake of a study that revealed that one in four teenage girls has a sexually transmitted infection, these findings have refueled the sex ed. debate in Washington, with 76 Democratic lawmakers urging the White House to stop funding abstinence-only programs.

One teenager’s online comment on ABC’s coverage of the study was revealing—and a bit disheartening. “What really needs to happen is getting the information out earlier,” she wrote. “We are all having sex younger then the previous generation and we like it. Stop telling us only the bad things about sex and start telling us everything.” While I agree completely with her call for comprehensive education about safe sex, this got me to thinking that the real responsibility for healthy teen sexuality lies with parents.

Sex is fun and teenagers are bound to discover this on their own. But it has emotional consequences that few teenagers are able to understand without the aid of caring adults they can trust. I still remember my mother telling me when I was in high school, “Everything changes when you have sex with someone. It’s a really emotional experience, no matter what.” I knew she would help me access contraceptives if I needed them, which made me take her message that sex was a big deal emotionally all the more seriously. These are the kind of messages that need to supplement health-based comprehensive sex education classes. Boys especially need to be taught the ethics of sexuality, since they are by far more likely to be aggressors. “Not everything that feels good is good” is not an intuitive truism for most adolescents.

What do you parents of teenagers think? Are there any methods for helping your children to postpone sex and to have healthy romantic relationships? When is an appropriate time to start discussing sex with your children?

Photo: dinahproject.com

Teen-Led Sex Ed Gives Parents the Willies

Karen Murphy — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 12:31:00 GMT

Remember your first time? Everybody does. Mine happened in 9th grade, and it involved an older man. There was weeks of anticipation leading up to the event, and when it finally happened there was a bit of disappointment: is that all there is?

Sex ed. (What did you think I meant?) Mr. Bortz, normally the composed Bio teacher good at frog dissection, was red-faced for the entire three weeks and stammered through the curriculum, uttering words like "urethra" and "Fallopian tube". I would much rather have had what some New Jersey kids are getting, a peer-to-peer sex ed course. Too bad some parents feel otherwise.

The comprehensive course, called Teen PEP, is required material addressing topics of abstinence, safe sex, dating violence, HIV-AIDS, and how alcohol and drugs affect sexual decision-making. (Mr. Bortz could have talked about some of that, might have made a difference.) It's given to ninth-graders by faculty-supervised juniors and seniors. So what's the problem? I would much rather have been taught by another kid than an embarrassed teacher.

But some parents are pulling their kids out of the program, saying they don't want them being taught how to put condoms on bananas by other kids. But who else is going to teach you the important life skill of putting a condom onto a banana?

Photo: www.superweb.de

Teach Our Children Well: Sex Ed Early and Often

Karen Murphy — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 12:39:00 GMT

It happened in the 5th grade. The boys in the class were hustled out of the room, filing out silentlyto their own 45-minute mystery session, I thought. Either that or they got to play basketball in the gym, I was never sure which. But the girls stayed and were subjected to our pink-faced teacher standing in the back of the room while a filmstrip played, annoying beeps sounding the change in slides, showing pictures of squiggly swimming things with big heads and using weird words like "Fallopian tubes". That was the extent of my sex education, that and my mom shoving a box of Stayfree maxipads at me while telling me to let her know if I "had any questions." Frankly, I had a lot of questions, but my mom's demeanor was such that it was clear she'd rather we never discussed it. And we never did. Which is why I think this idea of sex education beginning for kids as soon as they hit school is a great idea.

Oh sure, there's a big part of me that cringes at the thought of schools managing my kid's sex life, telling them things in ways that maybe I'm not comfortable with or that I consider misinformation, and a part of me thinks that sex education of course begins in the home. But then a bigger part of me remembers that there are zillions of kids who just aren't getting the information. Who maybe head for the bathroom while on shift at McDonald's and emerge with a baby they had no clue was inside them. Who aren't being told that their bodies belong to them and that anyone who pressures them into sex is a jerk, or that that activity really is sex, yes it is, and what about STD's?

Our kids are sadly misinformed about sex and I believe that someone needs to tell them. As for the rest of us, well, we'll continue on as before and our kids won't be affected. They'll grow up thinking nudity isn't necessarily something shameful and knowing that there are words like "penis" and "vagina" that aren't dirty, only parts of themselves, and knowing that some things are maybe done privately but even still, it's all okay. Those are the things I want my kids to know, those things and the whole WTF thing about changing bodies and perceptions. That sort of sex education is, in my mind, an ongoing thing, and I want ALL kids to receive that kind of empowerment, even the kids whose parents can't manage to do so for one reason or another, whether shame or ignorance, so that one day, we won't be having a discussion about whether sex education for kids is an okay thing or not.

Photo: earthstationone.com

Baby Born at McDonald's; Mom Didn't Know She Was Pregnant

Karen Murphy — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 15:12:00 GMT

Truth be told, I was going to start off by making references to "so that's how McDonald's gets its meat" (maybe you can tell I don't eat there much), but that was a little much even for my bizarre sense of humor. So forget you read that.

Instead, let's explore the bit about "she didn't know she was pregnant." I'm still trying to wrap me head around that one. I mean, I've BEEN pregnant, four times, and, well, it was pretty clear that something unusual was going on. Something unusual that lasted for months. Seriously, are there really people who are that clueless/disconnected/ignorant that they fail to notice such huge changes taking place over a period of months?

I guess there are, because this is a story that seems to happen over and over again. In this case, it was McDonald's employee Danille Miller who felt a sudden need to run to the bathroom during her shift, where she was followed by inquisitive and slightly less clueless fellow employee 16-year-old Jaynae Herrera who said later, "I was like are you pregnant? Because she was in the bathroom, and I'm like, are you pregnant? She says, I don't think so. A couple minutes later, she says the baby is coming out, and that's when I started freaking out."

Mom and baby, Austin Laddussaw, are both doing fine, and maybe they can teach a sex education class or something when Danille's gig at McDonald's gets old.

Photo: adsoftheworld.com

Did Jamie Lynn Skip School? Sex Ed Makes Kids More Likely to Delay Sex

Kelly Mills — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 13:38:00 GMT

Could we get some no child left behind on this? In a survey of teens aged 15 to 19, those who had sex education in school were more likely to delay losing their virginity, at least till age 15. And among boys, those who had sex ed were more likely to say they'd use birth control, and strangely, were less likely to have sex at all. Back in my day teenage boys were pretty much determined to have sex no matter what, so I'm not sure what's up with the kids now, except those must be some sex ed classes.

But did abstinence-only sex ed make a difference? This study doesn't show that, it just focused on any type of sex ed. You know, if we really want to delay teens from getting down, we ought to have the parents sit down and offer graphic and informative descriptions of what sex entails. Because who wants to do something you first heard described by your mom? Then again, you can look to the source on this one, cuz I fail to get upset by the idea of teens having sex.

What's Your Favorite Sex-Ed Position?

Madeline Holler — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 22:41:00 GMT

When are we just going to let go of the idea that abstinence education actually works? It’s been shown again and again that it doesn’t. Yet, the U.S. spends more than $200 million a year on these poor-performing programs in our kids' schools annually.

And there’s a big, fat, Republican-winning chance that these programs will continue to be the standard in most of the country. Even those who once seemed to know better – Rudy Giuliani, we’re talking to YOU! – now refuse to say that there are better ways of preventing teen pregnancies and the spread of STDs than telling kids to not have sex.

You know, my kids’ schools can teach abstinence all they want without directly harming my two girls. Because my kids are going to get the facts early and often at home. But their peers? The people they meet as the grow up? Is it fair that so many kids could potentially be left in the dark about STDs and pregnancy prevention and just the basics of human biology and sexuality?

What’s your take on sex-ed? Should it be taught in schools? Just the parents? Abstinence-only is better than nothing? Anybody feel secure about their own children but fear for millions of others like I do?

More Sex Ed -- Your Parents' Style

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:25:00 GMT

The post directly below got me thinking about all those horrible, real sex-ed videos we were forced to watch in school, and the ones our own kids will probably watch in years to come. They've got nothing on our parents' version of sex ed.

Girls

Boys

Avril Lavigne

Kids and Sex: A Kiss Is not a Contract

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:02:00 GMT

A boy kissed my girl the other day. We were at our favorite taco joint, and this sawed-off little Cary Grant comes up, grabs Emmeline from behind and goes to town. The boy's dad cheered and waved a sign that said "John 3:16" while I started flipping through the Yellow Pages for karate instructors who specialize in anti-handsy defense.

OK, fine, so I laughed a little, too. It was hilarious -- two toddlers making out for a split second. But it also got me thinking. These kids will start kissing soon -- for real. So I had better have a talk with her before she enters preschool.

Thankfully, I've discovered a new and highly trained duo of professional therapists who specialize in kids and sexuality. They teach parents how to talk effectively with children about issues like sex and how parents can help children just say no -- or at least not right now, because I've got a headache.

And the course is easy, too -- just plop your children down and make them watch this video.

Field Trip Mishap: Abortion Center Outing

Melissa Summers — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 15:12:00 GMT

Parents in New Hampshire were not entirely thrilled when their public school junior high student children attended a field trip to a so called "Planned Parent Abortion Business". The trip was organized in partnership with the YMCA as a tour of positive places and programs to get involved with over the summer.

The school board has apologized for the mistake and Anne Johnson the Planned Parent staff member who spoke to students said there was no discussion of abortion at the presentation, though children were confronted by Pro Life protesters outside the clinic. The YMCA coordinator of the trip went on to say, "The intent of the day was to provide information to kids who are getting ready for the summer and won't have the support of school or at home. The intent was not to take kids to an abortion clinic. That word was never said."

I'm not sure I really want my kids going on a field trip to an abortion clinic but where I live Planned Parenthood is a whole bunch of things, not just an "Abortion Business". They run many educational and support programs including parent-child communication and sex education which includes the ever popular (and largely ineffective) abstinence approach.

When I Think About You I Touch Myself: Kids and Masturbation

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 18:51:00 GMT

Kids. Those unruly beasts. They do all sorts of things unfit for polite society, and many that elicit consternation and hushed problem-solving between parents, grandparents, and teachers. But none cause quite the stir that masturbating does. My nephew was dinged a quarter each time he grabbed his crotch in public, and let's just say he wracked up enough to pay for his first year at Harvard before he quit grabbing the pencil.

Nancy Hamilton sounds off about the touchy side of childhood this week for Babble, and rounds up various religious, medical, and historical opinions and their modern counterparts. Most experts now agree that "...it's important to help children distinguish between public and private behavior, thereby not thwarting the activity, just providing socially acceptable limits for Kinsey Junior." And that is the key.

If you want to create a relatively open atmosphere but also don't your children kicked out of Kindergarten, helping them draw clear distinctions between public and private behaviors is crucial. In my house you are allowed to touch yourself (any old part) as long as you do it in a bedroom or bathroom. That goes for Mommy and Daddy as well as Junior.

Meanwhile, make sure you rule out sexual abuse and other real concerns (that are sometimes indicated by excessive masturbation). Once you've done that, be sure that if your child is a self-pleasurer you are not alone. Hamilton sums it up best. When she walks in on her 5 year old daughter pleasuring herself on a wooden office chair, her daughter states that "this spot is taken" a clear indication that she thought Mommy was heading in to do the same thing. We can only hope so.

New Study: "Any Kind" of Sex Can Harm Teens Emotionally

Stefania Pomponi Butler (CityMama) — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 13:32:00 GMT

Teenagers often suffer emotional consequences from having sex, even when it's "only oral sex," say University of California San Francisco researchers in a study published Monday in the journal Pediatrics. Up to one-half of the sexually active teenagers in their study said they had felt "used, guilty, or regretful" after having sexual relations.

Those feelings were less common among teens who had had only oral sex, but about a third of those teens reported experiencing negative feelings. The study suggests that parents talk to their kids about the potential negative effects of having all types of sexual relations—including oral sex—and not just intercourse.

It is important for parents to help teens understand that having oral sex may result in social, emotional and physical health consequences— just as having vaginal sex may result in these consequences.

Girls were twice as likely as boys to say they'd felt bad about themselves, and three times more likely to say they felt "used." Researchers chalked this up to the fact that "boys' sexuality and sexual behavior is generally accepted" and that "parents can play an important role in helping to eliminate this double standard by encouraging respect for women and discouraging the use of derogatory sexual terms."

Experts Still Skeptical About Abstinence-Only Education Trend

Patti — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 12:09:00 GMT

New York's Guttmacher Institute followed school sex-ed programs nationwide for seven years and confirmed what many already know: that abstinence-only programs aren't working. Over a billion dollars in federal funding has been poured into programs that promote the belief that premarital sex is harmful and that sexual activity should be reserved for a monogamous marriage relationship. Comprehensive sex education has gone by the wayside as programs with more wide-ranging curricula have been eliminated in favor of programs that focus on abstinence. Bush even appointed a guy named Eric Keroack to be head of family planning at the Department of Health and Human Services--let's call this guy the Virginity Czar--who was previously associated with a group that believes that the wide availability of birth control is demeaning to women (!?!?!?!?).

47 states have given into the Bush administration's zeal to promote abstinence-only programs in order to receive federal funds. Only California, Pennsylvania, and Maine are brave enough to go it alone: California's program includes a mandate that districts teach about contraception and STD prevention, a polar opposite of the current mainstream programs.

One researcher noted the contrast between California and Texas, two states with similar population breakdowns. With comprehensive sex-ed in California schools, teen pregnancies dropped by nearly half in twelve years, the second highest decrease in the US. Under Texas's abstinence only program, pregnancies decreased by 19%, the second lowest decrease. And another expert points out that even in California, kids still believe the same dumb crap about pregnancy and STD prevention ("you can't get pregnant your first time!", etc.). Imagine what kind of nonsense kids are going to start believing in states where comprehensive sex ed isn't allowed.

Puberty, Fifties Style

Patti — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 21:09:00 GMT

Man, I love the olden days. You must check out this vintage film, "Molly Grows Up" (available in several formats), with its classic take on menstruation. It's surprisingly modern in some of its approach, although full of outdated gems like "don't swim the first few days of your period or you'll catch a chill", "wear your prettiest dress", and a pass at the old "women are meant to be mothers" line of thinking.

Try not to be distracted by Molly's awesome Craftsman house and her family's kick-ass mid-century coffee table. Instead, pop some corn, sit back, and let Molly's mother and the school nurse (she's got to be Lauren Bacall's homelier older sister, it's an uncanny resemblance) tell you how it is in Periodsville, 1953 (hint: go easy on the square dancing).

If you're in the mood for a double feature, watch the 1957 companion piece, "As Boys Grow", where a jovial coach explains puberty to his team ("say, I had a wet dream last night!").