Top 5 Worst Sweet-to-Sexy Toy Makeovers

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 18:31:00 GMT

As if thong-wearing Bratz weren't already securing the kiddie toy sexual revolution, toymakers continue to try and wrest sexay from remodels of iconic toys from the 70s and 80s. Pictured right is the original Holly Hobbie. See her disturbing modern makeover after the jump.

She is only one of the Top 5 Worst Sweet-to-Sexy Toy Makeovers:

1. Strawberry Shortcake - No longer the dumpling gumdrop five or six-year-old, she is now a tween, likes to sit sexy sidesaddle, and wears her hair to her waist. Hard to imagine her playing soccer or doing anything but sitting passively and looking pretty.

2. Holly Hobbie - Like her friend Strawberry, Holly is now a tween with attitude (and long hair). Check her out. It's a sad day when we forsake prioneer girls like Laura Ingalls for Hannah Montana lookalikes.

3. Barbie - Hard to imagine that Barbie would some day seem tame compared to her slutty doll counterparts. Nevertheless, she's doing her best to keep up with the times.

4. My Little Pony - These sweet little purple and pink-haired quadropeds have a newer modern relative, the Strutz. The new horsies have implied cleavage, high heels and wear tons of makeup.

5. Trollz - Remember those crazy plastic statues with the weird furry hair? Take a look at their new incarnation.

If trolls can look like Bratz and Holly Hobbie has forsworn her pioneer girl roots, then surely the kiddie toy sexual revolution is complete.

6 Toys That Should Be Destroyed with Baseball Bats

Rachael Brownell (Redsy) — Fri, 09 May 2008 18:31:00 GMT

There are so many reasons to destroy toys with baseball bats (like Office Space, but with more plastic). First, it's fun to smash slutty dolls marketed to our 4 year olds. Second, it's a great way to work off that frustration over the cost of gas, health care, and housing:

Here are 6 toys that could use a good bashing:

1. Diego's Lead-Filled Animal Rescue Boat - Identified as one of the 10 worst toys of 2007, this plastic nightmare is loaded with lead.

2. Barbie My Scene - Because any toy using the word "bling" deserves to be demolished

3. Struts - Horses wearing high heels and heavy heavy eye makeup. Enough said.

4. Bratz Babyz- Babies wearing thongs. Next: "Baby Streetwalker"

5. Giant Microbes - These are hard to break because they're plushy, but giant microbes as toys? "Here's a nice cuddly bacterium to show you how much Mommy loves you." [Edited to add: Ok, seriously, I'm the only person who thinks these are unbelievably odd, these little bugs have quite a following!]

6. Operation Checkpoint X-Ray Machine - It's never too late to train your kids to practice working for homeland security?

Which toys would you pull an Office Space on? Don't remember that scene? It's here for your enjoyment, but be forwarned: Bad Words are Said Loudly!!!

Strollerderby : slutty barbie

Top 5 Worst Sweet-to-Sexy Toy Makeovers

6 Toys That Should Be Destroyed with Baseball Bats