Strollerderby : sports talk

UPDATE: A-Roid Admits It

Brett Singer — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 04:00:00 GMT

UPDATE: A-Rod (A-Roid, A-Fraud - I still like The Rod, but it's not sticking yet) has admitted to ESPN's Peter Gammons that, you know, he did it. Children everywhere are... actually, I don't think children care about this at all.

When I was a young Yankee fan, my guy was Reggie Jackson. All I cared about was how he played. Granted, it was a different time, but despite all of the posturing from commentators I don't think kids care much about whether or not The Rod was juicing. Maybe I'm wrong.

Original post follows:

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SI.com is reporting that Alex Rodriguez, whom I usually refer to as "The Rod", tested positive for two different anabolic steroids, Primobolan and testosterone, back in 2003. (Make up your own joke about Alex taking testosterone.)

What does this have to do with parenting? Well, somewhat like the Plaxico Burress gun incident ("Safety? What's a safety?"), kids who are into sports, and even those that aren't, will hear this news. What do you tell them? If you go with the "tut-tut" sanctimony of Major League Baseball and the seemingly endless parade of columnists and talk show hosts, then you have to tell them that The Rod is a big fat cheater. That's the word that has been assigned to steroid users. Cheaters. At least it’s a word that even little kids understand. You know, because it's childish.

If you want to go with a calmer explanation, you could say that The Rod made a mistake and we don't have all the facts yet. (Probably better to call him A-Rod, since I'm the only one that calls him The Rod.) Columnist Chris Ballard says that "All of A-Rod's achievements, past and future, will be tainted." First of all, what if the report was wrong? I'm not saying it was, but sometimes reporters, sources or no, make mistakes. Also, we're slamming the guy for doing something that may not even be against the law because he "tainted" the "purity" of baseball. That seems like a pretty bad message to send to kids, frankly.

Ultimately, baseball is a game. Professional baseball, like all professional sports, is a business. In recent years it has become a huge business, one that allows someone like The Rod to earn almost $30 million in one year. That's just his salary, by the way. He probably made a lot more in endorsements, autograph signings, and other things. Sports figures are no longer on the same playing field as the rest of us, if they ever were. (Pun unintended.) Kids should be allowed to enjoy the game without the braying sanctimony of adults who appear desperate to believe that baseball is more important than it is. Sports can bring great enjoyment to fans young and old. When you try to pretend that these people are something more than human, any fall from grace will be a huge disappointment.

For the record, I am a lifelong Yankee fan and I never liked The Rod. (Give me Scott Brosius any day of the week.) I also don't much care about steroids. I think Major League Baseball helped create this problem by preferring profits to players' health; there were multiple times when guys were obviously juiced up and no one said anything about it, sanctimonious commentators included. And I never thought I'd say this, but I'm a little bit glad that my son isn't a big baseball fan. Explaining Plaxico's gun was easier than this will be.

Image/Source: SI.com

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Alex Rodriguez Writing Love Poems To Madonna

Brett Singer — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 19:00:00 GMT

Ah, The Rod. He makes it almost too easy.

The New York Post, along with every other media outlet on the planet, reports that The Rod has found his muse. No, it's not Derek Jeter. It's Madonna. He's writing her (hang on, I need to stop laughing… OK. OK, I'm back.) love poems.

What must that sound like?

madonna
I am in love with u
I am intrigued by all the things that u do
please teach me how I can be a better jew
madonna

Love, Alex

I've said it before, and I'll say it again – oy vey.

Now, to be serious for a minute, both Madonna and The Rod need to calm down. I don't really care if they're dating. OK, I care a little bit, since I enjoy making fun of The Rod, and as a Yankee fan, I would greatly prefer it if he concentrated more on PLAYING BASEBALL than on whatever the hell he's up to off the field. But both of these people have young children. Madonna's daughter Lourdes is old enough read the papers, and so is her son Rocco. Why would you want to put your kids through this crap?

There's always the chance that Madonna has, in fact, lost her mind. According to various sources (including our very own Famecrawler), Madonna instituted strict rules for when daddy Guy Ritchie has the kids. For example:

Their hands should be regularly cleaned with disinfectant spray if they are in public places.
They should not be bought toys that are spiritually or ethically unsound.
Guy should not discuss the separation with them.
All water they drink, even when it is to dilute organic juice, should be Kabbalah water.

I bet Halloween at her house is real fun. Maybe too much publicity is the least of these kids' problems.

Source: NY Post (also image), Famecrawler

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Brett Singer — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 21:00:00 GMT

This is just silly.

Us Magazine is reporting that Guy Ritchie, who is divorcing Madonna and had NO PRE-NUP, is freaking out because his son was wearing a Yankee shirt.

"He's actually been crying over it," says the source on the set of Ritchie's upcoming drama 'Sherlock Holmes'. "He's in a terrible state but is doing his best to be on form at work."

The insider tells Us Ritchie "cannot believe" Madonna would let their son wear the shirt, given the fact that her close relationship with the slugger played a role in their contentious divorce.

Look. If it were a Mets shirt, or a (shudder) RED SOX shirt, I could understand Guy getting all worked up. But the Yankees? The most storied franchise in sports history? Come on.

On a slightly more serious note, if this report from an "insider" is true (who are these people who call tabloids at the drop of a hat?), what a self-centered bozo. He's off directing a major film, the Material Mom is on tour screaming about Sarah Palin, and his son is being raised by who knows who. The shirt? That's what he's worrying about?

As for A-Rod – sorry, THE Rod – he apparently attended Yom Kippur services with Madonna and her children. (Aside: next time you are with Madge, ask her what meshugeh ahf toit means. It's important.) This is because the Yankees aren't playing in October. Just wanted to point that out. ALEX. FOCUS.

Source: US

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Lourdes and Miley kidnapped?

Brett Singer — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Have America's sweethearts been kidnapped? No, silly! Do you really think something like that would happen and you wouldn't hear about it? Here's the truth about these photos:

First, Lourdes Ciccone, daughter of Madonna. Who is that unmasked man holding her hand? Well, that's her dad. Not Guy Ritchie, but her biological dad, Carlos Leon. Carlos was once arrested for smoking pot in Washington Square Park, but as far as we know, he doesn't do that too often. They probably just saw The Rod (note: that's my new name for Alex Rodriguez; he's not just A rod -- he's THE Rod) across the street and wanted to get away before he started talking to them.

As for Miley/Hannah/Whatever (the girl has more names than a Chekhov character), she's just filming a new movie, which I won't see but will likely gross hundreds of millions of dollars. She doesn't look too happy but I'm guessing it was just a bad moment. Either that or The Rod was visiting the set that day.

images: NY Post, Now Magazine

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Jim Abbott is a ballplayer you can look up to

Brett Singer — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 21:00:00 GMT

The other day, out of nowhere, my son asked me if I had ever heard of a pitcher named Jim-something who only had one hand. Sure, I replied. Jim Abbott. Played for the Yankees. Threw a no-hitter. My son was amazed that I (a) knew who he was talking about, and (b) that someone with only one hand could become a major league pitcher, much less a successful one.

He played for the Yankees from 1992-1994, throwing his no-hitter in 1993. (He played for other teams too, but I'm a New York snob.) He also pitched for the gold medal winning 1998 United States Olympic Baseball Team.

So what is he doing now? Well, while Alex Rodriguez is making significantly more news off the field than he is on it, Abbott is retired from baseball, working as a motivational speaker. He also answers letters from disabled kids and their parents. This article from Sports Illustrated updates us on Jim and tells the story of some of the many kids whose lives Abbott has touched. One of them, Blaise Venancio, is eight years old and has Poland's Syndrome, which in his case means he only has the use of one hand. Of course, he wants to play baseball. Rather than giving up, he watched video of Jim Abbott, eventually writing him a letter, which Abbott answered. "To Blaise," reads the note to Blaise Venancio. "I just wanted to wish you the very best of luck with baseball this year. Hopefully you are having a great time playing. I know it is sometimes hard to do things a little differently from other kids. But believe me, if you stick with it, you can be just as good. Always believe. Anything is possible."

It gets better: In May, wearing his glove on his left hand, Blaise ran in from center field to cover second base, making a backhanded pick-up of an in-between-hop throw. When asked how he did it, Blaise said, "Jim Abbott. He's my friend." That gets me right here, y'know?

I'm a sucker for this sort of thing, I admit it. But a guy who has one hand and pitches, pitches really well, and according to Wikipedia, can even hit (even though he didn't often have to)? While every sports media outlet gushes like a teenage girl with a boy-band crush about the All-Star Game, I think it's worth remembering that some ballplayers are good people who want to be helpful in some way.

Here's some video of Abbott. Take that, A-Rod.

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image: Jim Abbott official website

Source: Sports Illustrated

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When Cynthia called Cindy

Brett Singer — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Cynthia Rodriguez, that is. Called Cindy Adams. Because, you know, that's the first person I would call if I were getting a divorce.

Cindy Adams scored an EXCLUSIVE interview with the woman formerly known as C-Rod. While her hubby (hereafter referred to as "The Rod") was busy striking out with the bases loaded, Cynthia was chatting to Cindy about him.

Apparently the message on her MySpace page (which is probably fake) isn't that far off: "she still loves him," writes Adams in the New York Post.

Ms. Scurtis says that she "wants no publicity." However, when reports came out that she went on a $100,000 spending spree in Paris in order to stick it to The Rod, Cynthia was "urged" by her lawyers to "address these misperceptions," according to the Post article.

Adams also says, referring to both her past as a child psychologist and her two daughters, that "this lady's passion is children," which would explain why she fell in love with The Rod. (Because he's, you know, a big baby.)

The one question I still want answered is: who is taking care of those two kids? Cynthia said she went to Paris for four days to "clear my head." I don't know about you, but spending time with a 3 year old and an 11 month old is not my idea of a head-clearing time. So presumably, she left the kids Stateside. Right? They weren't with The Rod, he was busy striking out and making excuses, plus he hasn't been allowed to see them. (Free advice for Cynthia: if you don't want people to think you're out shopping all the time, maybe the photo accompanying the EXCLUSIVE interivew where you try to set the record straight should be of something other than you shopping.)

We do get to hear that 3 year old Natasha misses her daddy, which is sad. The whole thing is kind of sad, but since I've never been a fan of The Rod, I admit that I'm keeping up on all of the nasty details as they pop up. And there may be more of those, sayeth Cindy: "More bad Alex habits may yet surface. There are coaches on road trips through whom notes and numbers were passed. Much wildlife may yet creep out from under many a stadium." Oy vey.

photo: NY Post

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Dad Rod to visit Kid Rod

Brett Singer — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 20:15:00 GMT

The New York Post is reporting that Cynthia Rodriguez, the woman formerly known as C-Rod, will allow her husband-for-now Alex to see the older of their two children. Dad-rod hasn't seen little Natasha (3) or Ella (11 weeks) since Cynthia threw him out of the house, requesting that he… never… return. (Two points to whomever can tell me where that line comes from.)

Natasha will travel to Toronto where the allegedly philandering third baseman is playing baseball, a side gig to his main job as Tabloid Fodder. Cynthia's attorney, Earle Lilly, said that baby Ella is "too young to travel far from Miami," which is where Cynthia is now that she's returned from Paris, where she wasn't sleeping with Lenny Kravitz.

Toronto? Isn't that where Alex was caught dining with a stripper last year? Why, yes. Yes it was. The Post talked to said stripper, one Joslyn Morse, who told reporters that she would be willing to testify at the Rod's divorce trial (although she hasn't been asked yet). According to the dishrag of record: "I don't believe much in life anymore," Morse answered when asked about her former paramour's infatuation with Madonna. She did not elaborate." WELL. All righty then.

image: MySpace

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C Rod Files For Divorce

Brett Singer — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 16:45:00 GMT

Cynthia Rodriguez has clearly decided that Madonna is, well, full of it. Or maybe she just doesn't like being called "C Rod". Whatever the reason, she's filed for divorce in Miami, according to ESPN.com/Associated Press. The filing says that A-Rod "emotionally abandoned his wife and children…The marriage of the parties is irretrievably broken because of the husband's extramarital affairs and other marital misconduct." Note that it says "affairs" and not "affair". Assuming Madonna is lying when she says the two are just drinking buddies rather than Kabbalah Kanoodlers, there are at least two (let us not forget his dalliance with stripper Joslyn Noel Morse.)

A-Rod's attorney (Attorney-Rod?), who has the porn movie name of Ira M. Elegant, "said he had not reviewed the divorce petition but added: 'As you know, anyone can pay the filing fee and make allegations.'" I actually didn't know that, so thanks Ira.

Now, since she's single, I want to take a moment to point out her MySpace page! She hasn't logged in since November of 2007, which probably explains why she says, "I am my husbands biggest fan!!" The page is in her maiden name of Cynthia Scurtis. It is, of course, highly possible that the page is fake; we'll have to see if that login date changes in the coming weeks. Since she will likely receive a dump truck full of Major League Cash (A-Rod is the highest paid player in baseball), Cynthia just shot up to the top of the Most Eligible Bachelorette list.

I feel badly for the kid-rods, who are very young. Alex, you're a weenie.

image: MySpace

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Brett Singer — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:00:00 GMT

At least some part of the A-Rod/Madonna/C-Rod/Lenny Kravitz bizarre love square is true (C-Rod is the new name for Cynthia Rodriguez, wife of Alex, in case you didn't know). Kravitz denies that he and Mrs. Rod are having an affair, and the fact that he reportedly isn't even in Paris lends some credibility to that claim. But Cynthia is definitely in The City of Light, and the New York Post has the photo to prove it. PLUS she isn’t wearing her $150,000 engagement ring. Also, Cynthia's mom Evangeline told the Post, "We've known about this for a long time. Everyone else is shocked, but we're not shocked…My daughter is a very good girl. She has high values." Not exactly a full-on confirmation, but it's close.

Now, I have a question, one also asked by Boston teacher DeDe White in today's New York Post: um, don't these people have young children?

Normally the phrase "but what about the children?" is used as a club to bludgeon people who have the audacity to schedule golf tournaments involving strippers at the same time that 7 year olds will be hitting the links. In this case, though, I think it's fair to ask who's taking care of the 10 week old bambina, not to mention the 4 year old. Grandpa Rod (actually it was Cynthia's father, John Scurtis, but Grandpa Rod is funnier) told the Post that the Kid-Rods were "being taken care of" but didn't say anything more than that. It's certainly possible that the little ones are in Paris with mom but I sort of doubt it.

(Aside: if you google "a-rod children", the first link that pops up is news from 2007 on his official web site that his children's book is being released. I guess he and Madonna have authorship in common.)

Another thing: I always wonder who these "friends" are that get quoted in gossip stories like these. What kind of "close friend" yaks to the media like that, even off the record?

image: New York Post