Strollerderby : stories

Jon & Kate Plus 8 Premiere Snags 9.8 Million Viewers

Brett Singer — Wed, 27 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

So you know this Kate Gosselin we've been hearing so much about? Mother, reality show star, husband may or may not be cheating on her? Lots of backlash against her?

After all the sturm und drang that the Gosselins have generated in recent weeks, you might think that would hurt their ratings. But you would be wrong.

The season premiere of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" was watched by 9.8 million people. That's not only the largest audience for a cable show on Monday. It was the largest audience for ANY show that evening.

People, negativity sells. Big time.

Yes, it was Memorial Day. But "Jon & Kate" isn't even on a network. It's on cable. Which means that not everyone -- most people, but not everyone -- can see the show. To me, this was an astonishing feat.

I have a confession to make. I don't watch "Jon & Kate Plus 8." I don't watch any reality shows regularly, which isn't a judgment on those of you that do. It's just not my thing. (If they could make a reality show with superheroes in it, that I might watch.) But all of the tabloid news has been oddly fascinating to me. I read the People Magazine article. Someone left a copy of US Weekly in my house and I read the "Jon & Kate" article. (Well, I started it. But I'll finish it.) And I have to admit that I might just check out a few minutes of the show.

Did you watch the "JK8" premiere? Did the recent scandals surrounding the couple make you more interested in the show?

Source: Hartford Courant

Morning News - California Supreme Court Upholds Prop 8

Kate Gosselin - Mom or Monster?

Gosselins are Good for a Gander (big roundup of stories on Famecrawler)

Mom Arrested for Having 555 Pound Son

Morning News - Mike Tyson's Daughter Injured

8 "PG" Movies Way Too Scary for Kids

Cole Gamble — Thu, 21 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

As you may know, I'm a big fan of traumatizing kids movies. So when I came upon Brian Hanson's article, The 8 PG-Rated Movies That Should Not Have Been Rated PG, I knew I'd need to post a bit of it. Here's a smackering of freaky-ass movies that somehow got the same rating as Shrek.

Gremlins (1984)

It's been widely acknowledged that both Gremlins and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Steven Spielberg's one-two 1984 punch of darkly comic blockbusters, directly led to the creation of the PG-13 rating. Gremlins is chock-full of wanton puppet terror and gore, with the titular hellions getting stabbed, beheaded, and exploded in wonderful blurts of green and brown. Of course, despite creating the PG-13 rating, neither Gremlins nor Temple of Doom were ever submitted for re-rating, so the PG rating still stands to this day for both movies. So Gremlins, with its graphic tale of Phoebe Cates' character's father decaying and rotting in a Santa suit after getting stuck inside the chimney on Christmas, gets the PG pass.

Wizards (1977)

Yay, a cartoon set off in a magical land! Sounds like Shrek again. Hold up, this baby's directed by Ralph Bashki, the guy who made edgy, X-rated cartoons like Fritz the Cat and Heavy Traffic (and the controversial Saturday morning update of Mighty Mouse). Wizards is a certifiable, goddamn mess, full of lame rotoscoped animation and tasteless invocation of Nazi imagery, but even for a PG-rated movie in 1977 it feels a little grotesque. There's a seemingly endless battle scene chock full of crudely-animated orcs and elves disemboweling each other, lots of cartoon characters saying naughty words, and a buxom nymph whose nipples seem incapable of being properly contained by her sheer clothing.

Watership Down (1978)

I touched on this in my own traumatizing kids movies article, but not enough can be said abut the movie in which cute fluffy bunnies rip the bloody hell out of each other.

It's pretty much a cartoon bunny horror film, as a small, ragtag group of rabbits are slowly done in by a variety of nasty enemies—owls, hunger, disease, bloodthirsty hounds, and even each other. There's another animated version that exists that would've saved me from the week's worth of nightmares and tears, but unfortunately it arrived nine years too late.

You can check out the rest of Brian's piece here.

More Good Stuff:

6 Reasons Why it Sucks to Be a Kid Today

Disturbing Baby-Swinging PSA

Dumb Kiddy Product Makeovers

9 Steps to Keep Your Kid from Ruining a Wedding

Eating Your Baby's Placenta

10 Great Books For (Traumatizing) Children

The 10 Most Popular Bedtime Stories of 2008

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:30:00 GMT

A recent British survey found that traditional fairy tales are no longer popular bedtime stories for children. So what are parents choosing to read instead? According to The Baby Web Site, which conducted the survey, the top 10 children's books of last year were mostly funny or sweet tales, with a smattering of classics that have stood the test of time.

In order of popularity, here are the books that put kids to bed in 2008:

1. The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle

2. Mr. Men by Roger Hargreaves

3. The Gruffalo by Julia Donaldson

4. Winnie the Pooh by A.A. Milne

5. Aliens Love Underpants by Claire Freedman & Ben Cort

6. Thomas and Friends from The Railway Series by Rev. W. Awdry

7. The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame

8. What a Noisy Pinky Ponk! by Andrew Davenport

9. Charlie and Lola by Lauren Child

10. Goldilocks and the Three Bears by Robert Southey

I have no objections to anything on the list (though I have always liked the premise of the Thomas books much more than the actual stories), but I must admit I was disappointed that the Skippyjon Jones books didn't make the list. Apparently, Spanish-speaking Siamese kitties are just so 2006.

What do you read your kids before bed?

Photo: jellybabies.co.uk

The Demise of the Fairy Tale

Five Nature Facts Kids' Authors Should Tattoo on their Forearms

I Dare You to Find a Cuter Kid Video

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 00:03:00 GMT

The eight painstaking years I spent studying French just paid off. I don’t know who this girl is or where she came off, but I am pretty sure that she will one day inherit the earth.

Just in case you temporarily forgot that little kids speaking French is the best part of life, I share this video with you of a master storyteller with the most zurbert-able cheeks you’ve ever seen. She spins an impressive tale involving Tigger, poverty, a clawed mammoth, a suicidal hippopotamus, and allergies to magic. Truly, this is not to be missed.

Photo: gledwood2.blogspot.com

Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

The Plus Side to McCain's Scorn for Women's "Health"

Kelly Mills — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 21:26:00 GMT

Flowers grow out of, uh, manure, don't they? Over at Jezebel, they point out that since McCain used his finger quotes about women's health (you know, our concern for our "lives" and "future reproductive health" which are apparently, quite silly) there have been a slew of women sharing stories about subjects you don't hear much about. Things like late-term abortions and miscarriages. You know, a couple aspects of our health stuff. The stories are often wrenching to read.

Brett already told you about A Little Pregnant's feelings on the subject. If you missed this very personal story of late-term abortion from the Boston Globe, I highly recommend you read it, with kleenex handy. And Dooce also pointed to Flotsam's story on pregnancy loss at 22 weeks. Oh yes, lots of "health" concerns. We women are just full of those.

I suppose if nothing else, it is a strange blessing women are sharing all their most profound and gut-wrenching experiences. If politicians feel comfortable dismissing very real matters of life and death and health, while at the same time legislating them in ways that do not protect our most basic rights, then it's only right they should have to look in the faces of the women who have suffered immeasurably and maybe someday answer to them. Though I won't hold my breath.

They Say: No One with a Uterus Should Vote McCain

Bipartisan Group Says McCain Would Be Bad For Kids' Health

Of Childhood Trainwrecks and Literary Inclinations

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 12:31:00 GMT

From time to time I'll look back on childhood and cringe -- either because of the way I behaved in a particular situation or the way I was tormented in others. Most of childhood was just grand, don't get me wrong. But every now and then a memory will spring forth out of nowhere, and I'll think: "Who was that kid?"

Which is why I'm having so much fun reading Can I Sit With You? -- a web collaboration of some really fantastic writers recalling some really unnerving events. Or funny events. Or downright catastrophes. It's like getting the chance to rubber neck someone else's childhood angst and neuroses, and I just can't avert my gaze.

The most recent essay, by Lisa Lucke, offers the perfect blend of humor and humility, and it's all capped off at the end with a jaw-dropping, cringe-inducing revelation -- a must-read for anyone who remembers practicing so hard as a child only to be told, well, go read it. I don't want to spoil it. Then there's Dori Ben-David's yarn about her late afternoon encounter with someone she and her friends used to torment. And these are just a few of my favorites.

The site raises money for special education in a Bay Area school district, and the essays are also published in a book. I just wanted to share for a good cause, but mostly, for a good read. If you had an odd childhood, this is the perfect site for you. And really, who didn't?

Once Upon A Time

Adrienne Martini — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Every parent dreads certain phrases. Some examples: Watch me juggle these knives! My head fits perfectly in this lion's mouth! I got a tattoo at Hepatitis Sams!

There's another one that I've come to dread, too: Tell me a story!

It's not that I lack the creative capacity -- I am a writer, for Pete's sake -- it's just that I'm pretty much tapped out by bedtime. I'll read any story that my beloveds ask for. But as for making one up? Oy. I'd just as soon skip it.

I am not alone. The Telegraph came up with some helpful hints and tips for parents struggling to build their own narrative. One that I'd suggest that didn't make their list is to turn to your kid and ask, "what do you think happens next?" You'll be surprised by the answers.

If it still seems to daunting, check out these blankets designed by students at the Royal College of Art. Let your kid read her own dang story while you cuddle up next to her and get some shut-eye.

Six Word Memoirs Totally Like Crack

Kelly Mills — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 12:33:00 GMT

The Poop has a nice post on Not Quite What I Was Planning, which features six-word memoirs from a number of writers, well-known and obscure. There's a few parenting ones, like Neal Pollock's "Eight thousand orgasms, only one baby" and Morgan Spurloch's "Carnivore and herbivore birth magical omnivore". It's a great trick, trying to come up with an evocative, or funny, or true, or all of the above parenting memoir in six little words.

The comments on the post have some great takes on parenting. My favorites include "Two under two sounded so efficient..." from hmb, "What? The first test was negative!" from hotmama, "I wipe someone else's bottom daily" from CarenRoma, and "There is no I in Mom" from spartic. By the time you read this, I'll probably have some new favorites as well, because they keep rolling in. And here's the thing: Once you start doing these, it's easy to get hooked. If you have something worthwhile, you can send it for submission, and of course I'd love to hear what you've got.