The Most Awesomely Epic High School English Paper of All Time

Cole Gamble — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 17:30:00 GMT

This is the most awesome thing I've seen all week. Imagine you are a student who really hates your English teacher. And let's say you had to write an essay about a famous poet but didn't give a damn. Your essay might go like this:

"I chose Walt Whitman for my biography report because Mr. Farlow said if I wasn't going to take this class seriously and pick a real poet I might as well not show up anymore.Walt Whitman was born in ancient China, is over 90 stories tall and travels the land with his blue ox, Emily Dickenson...

Here it is in it's original state:

I can't wait for this kid's next paper.

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Gym Teacher Likes Girls A Little Too Much

JeanneSager — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 19:29:00 GMT

Another teacher, another sex scandal. Same unfortunate news, different day. But to make it interesting, Indiana gym teacher Brooke Biggs is accused of seducing a 16-year-old female student.

That I won't have to listen to some nasty radio DJ talking about the hot teacher and the lucky teenage boy is about the only silver lining to this story. Because I don't believe in the double standard for female teachers. Sorry, not even for a hot lesbian teacher.

That Brooke Biggs shares her name with a porn star doesn't make me laugh either (well, not much). The 27-year-old was in a South Bend, Ind. court late last week to answer two felony charges of child seduction. Biggs teaches seventh and eighth grade physical education and coaches at the local high school where the 16-year-old girl is a student. The investigation that led to Biggs' arrest was prompted by the girl's parents who first forbade the teen from having any contact with the teacher then found she was sneaking out anyway. Court documents allege Biggs' bought the girl a cell phone to replace one her parents had taken away, and the two allegedly exchanged hundreds of sexually explicit text messages.

Seems teenage girls do a little more than talk on the phone these days.

Image: WSBT

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The Most Awesomely Epic High School English Paper of All Time

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Gym Teacher Likes Girls A Little Too Much