Strollerderby : toddlers

3 Most Common Mistakes: Sunburns

editors — Thu, 21 May 2009 16:00:00 GMT

Today on Babble.com.

3 Most Common Mistakes: Sunburns.

With expert: Dr. Belilovsky, Medical Director of Belilovsky Pediatrics.

How to keep your kids from turning into lobsters this summer.

Read it here.

Bad Parent: The Littlest Gamer

editors — Tue, 19 May 2009 20:30:00 GMT

Today on Babble.com.

Bad Parent:The Littlest Gamer

by Annie Bacon.

I turned my toddler into a videogame addict.

Read it here.

Children's Television Workaround

editors — Thu, 14 May 2009 19:45:00 GMT

Today on Babble:

by Dan Oko.

Our kid's TV-free, as long as online video doesn't count.

Read it here.

Don't Give Me Your Tired, Your Stained

JeanneSager — Wed, 13 May 2009 15:35:00 GMT

The best thing about giving birth eleven months after my aunt? We are swimming in the hand-me-downs.

No, I'm not the type to turn my nose up at some free goodies for my kid. But I'm learning not all hand-me-downs are created equal.

Case in point: the onesies spotted in mold from being left covered in spit-up in a laundry basket. Seriously, you didn't think this should just be chucked out?

Nor am I a fan of the t-shirt with juice stains down the front from a dribbling toddler's first attempts with a real cup. Face it, kids are slobs until they get a handle on coordination.

So why do parents think it's OK to pass these kinds of clothes down to someone else? You could say I'm looking a gift horse in the mouth, but really, these aren't gifts. This is garbage that I now have to pay to throw out.

None of this grodiness has come out of my aunt's house, I will note. She and I share similar taste, so the booty I get out of her kids' closets is just the kind of thing I would have bought . . . only I didn't have to. Which is the point of hand-me-downs. To pass along clothing that is still in good condition, that can be used by another kid. And I could practically kiss the feet of the hand-me-downers. Or at least bake them one of my (family) famous banana breads.

There are some stained items I'm OK with - pajamas, after all, aren't going to be seen by anyone but her father and me. My aunt has even thrown in a few undershirts with a warning that they were no longer pristine white, and I thank her and put them on my kid anyway. Again, they're not for out and about.

The rest, I sigh and chuck right in the trash. I'm certainly not passing them along to the mom who gets all of my daughter's hand-me-downs. I like her way too much for that.

Am I just being a crankpot? Or is it common courtesy to toss the disgusting in your own garbage?

Image: DailyMail

When Toddlers Attack The Neighbors

Brett Singer — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 19:00:00 GMT

It's one thing when your kids mess up your house. It's quite another when they destroy someone else's.

And when they get into the neighbors' house? Look out.

John and Matthew Farrer, ages 2 and 3, are brothers. In crime. The pair of toddlers "wandered away from their home on Friday morning," and while their parents and 100 emergency workers searched high and low, they were having a blast next door at Angie Lovorn's house.

What did the little scamps? Ate some Teddy Grahams and marshmallows. Played with stuffed animals. Oh, and trashed the kitchen.

Ms. Lovorn had worked a late shift, and was asleep while the boys did some damage. She eventually woke up, "just as searchers finally saw the boys leaving through a back door, one wearing her son's Clemson University football helmet," according to ParentDish. That's a great image. Very "Home Alone."

This goes to the theory, espoused by the parent of a childhood friend, that boys should be released into the woods until they're 18. (Obviously girls could have done the same thing. It's just funnier that it was boys.)

As for the boys getting out, this is why I lock my door. I don't need my children running amok outside my sphere of influence.

Image: wyff4.com

Source: ParentDish

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Toddler Jail Break

Brett Singer — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:30:00 GMT

One of my early memories of hanging out with my son and another father with his two children is as follows. The kids suddenly start to run ahead of us, and the other father shouted out, "Hey! Get back here! I don't want any jailbreaks!"

For some reason this stuck with me and I've used the phrase often since then. I initially thought it was unique, but I've heard a lot of other parents use it. It makes a good deal of sense. Kids don't think much about safety. Rules are, by nature, restrictive. Don't cross the street there, hold my hand, put down that flaming stick. Annoying stuff like that. To some kids, it probably feels like prison.

Which is why this picture is so hilarious.

I can just imagine the toddler's thought process. "Digging the tunnel is taking too darn long. Have you ever tried digging with one of those plastic spoons? So when that big lady with the food is distracted, I'll just make a break for it."

In my house, once I realized that Thing 2 could manipulate the bottom lock on our front door unassisted, I always make sure that the top lock is secure. By the time he's tall enough to reach that one, one hopes that he'll realize what a good deal he's got at home.

Anyone have any Toddler Escape Prevention Tips? As I've said before, it takes a village.

Source: The Life of The Party of 5, "You Know You're a Bad Mother When... "

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It's NOT Baby Fat

JeanneSager — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 15:28:00 GMT

Think those chubby cheeks are sooo cute? Stop pinching and pull out the scale.

A new study says one in five American four-year-olds is obese. Not chunky. Not husky. Obese.

Sponsored by the National Center for Education Statistics, the study shows a drastically higher problem in minority groups, with thirty-one percent of American Indian children who were obese, twenty-two percent of Hispanics and twenty-one percent of blacks.

By comparison, sixteen percent of white kids were dangerously overweight, and thirteen percent of Asian children were obese. Based on an analysis of nationally representative height and weight data on more than eight thousand preschoolers born in 2001, the study took into account where a child falls on the percentile chart. Those who fell in the ninety-fifth percentile or higher qualified as obese.

Unfortunately, the statistics are not that surprising when you break down the higher numbers of low income families in minority groups - especially living on reservations. Low income families have a pre-disposition toward obesity because of the quality of food they can afford, food that is often carbohydrate rich but lacking in nutritional value. A recent study showed parents in low-income families were also more likely to pass on a habit of over-eating to their children because they look to food as a form of comfort.

It's hard for parents of any income level to distinguish whether or not their kids are overweight, but it's scarier still for parents to face a child as young as four with a weight problem. They're supposed to still have boundless energy at this age, to burn off their food just running like a banshee through the house! And how to tell when a kid is still working off the baby fat?

Just another reason to march them in for the well visit and load them up on the scale.

Image: One Step Ahead

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Toddlers Whose Parents Hit Have More Trouble Sleeping

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:30:00 GMT

I’m hoping it won’t surprise you to learn that a three-year study of 4,600 toddlers has concluded that children whose parents hit or yell at them are more likely to have trouble sleeping. It doesn't take an expert to realize that a quick slap and a screamed threat are not exactly relaxing.

What is surprising is that the Australian pediatrician who led the study is arguing that there is no way to know whether aggressive parenting causes sleeping problems, or if toddlers who are cranky and overtired cause their parents to be more hostile."It's always a cause-and-effect argument and you can't really conclude from this which occurs first," said Dr. Harriet Hiscock.

Call me naïve, but I kinda thought it was common knowledge that, “He made me do it!” is not a justifiable excuse for violence—particularly when the “he” is a toddler. Furthermore, the study—which examined sleeping habits when children were one-year-old, and then again two years later—found that “mothers' parenting style was not a big factor in sleep problems at the age of one, but became an issue by the second study.”

Hmmm, I wonder if the inability to fall asleep that these kids developed over time had anything to do with living with the constant stress of parents who frequently lose their tempers….

Photo: Hank van Stuivenberg/Sydney Morning Herald

Another Country Bans Spanking

Kid Falls 40 Feet Into Hands of Superheroes

JeanneSager — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 19:01:00 GMT

A little girl hanging from a window forty feet off the ground. Two guys walking by her apartment building - one all the way across the street.

The three meet, and oh . . .my . . . Gawd.

Robert Lemire was talking on his cell phone in front of a pizza joint when he saw a little kid hanging from a third story window across the street. He made a mad dash across the street (no, he didn't stop to look both ways) where he met another guy, Alex Day, just walking out of the building from a Bible study class. Together, the two men put out their arms just in time to catch eighteen-month-old Caliah Clark just before she would have hit the ground.

Can we say totally freakin insanely awesome story here? I know that's not exactly fine English but, wow! They couldn't have planned this one on a movie set with stuntmen.

These are two heroes, and since they reside in Boston, and their superhero capes don't get them much farther, here's a reminder to everyone else to GET WINDOW GUARDS if you have a toddler.

OK, off the soapbox, just going to enjoy the high of such an awesome story on a Monday.

Image: Christian Odyssey (not child in story)

Danger Babies: Why Why Why?

Amy Kuras — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 20:01:00 GMT

I am heading into Toddlerdom: The Sequel so one would think I am fairly imperturbable by now, but not so much. Reading this story from USA Today about the terrifying near-misses toddlers get themselves into alternately made me laugh, screech in horror and knock every piece of wood I could reach, lest I tempt fate by finding any of this the least bit amusing.

We’re talking kids who unlock gates and toddle into the street – at 18 months of age. When they had been sound asleep in bed. Twins who boost each other over the baby gate.

This makes my near misses sound mild (my daughter pulled her toy shelf onto herself and a TV down on the floor, both of which still give me the twitches when I think about how lucky we were things were not much, much worse).

But there are some evolutionary reasons for this heart-stopping behavior, apparently. Gumming everything may expose them to tiny amounts of germs that help strengthen their immune systems, and eating dirt maybe gets them some iron (I don’t know, my daughter was borderline anemic and my funniest memory of her first mobile summer was watching her sit in the garden while I worked and just fling dirt over her head and attempt to eat it).

Of course, then you’d think evolution would breed this dangerous behavior out of them –but children in early hunter gather cultures were carried in slings throughout toddlerhood, giving hem less opportunity to get into stuff.

Honestly, I think it’s better for kids to be a little more free-range once they can stand on their own little feet. Even the most dedicated babywearers I know tend to let them down a little more once they are bigger, and both my kids have to be on the move to be happy.

But there are days when swaddling him in bubble wrap doesn’t seem like the worst idea. What’s your best “mear miss” moment with a toddler?

Tina Fey’s 3-Year Old Writes for 30 Rock – My 3-Year Old Blogs

SunnyChanel — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 02:33:00 GMT

Alice, the three and ½ year old daughter of Tina Fey ain’t getting a free ride. Her mom already has her working. In an interview on Jimmy Fallon’s Late Show, Fey confessed that her daughter is “kind of an uncredited writer for 30 Rock,” saying that “she’ll say crazy stuff and we’ll put it in the show.” She cited the example of when her daughter saw a Disney World website on the computer and said “I want to go to there”, which became a catch phrase for Fey’s Liz Lemon.

Other lines courtesy of Alice are just begging to be used like when it was close to bed time and she had a lollipop and Fey asked “Are you done with that for tonight,” her reply, “no mommy, I wanna have a lot of sucks tonight.” Fey commented “That’s a good line for Tracy Morgan or something.”

And on being a mom Fey said “You start to look like a mom, like you don’t clean yourself right,” she continued talking about being momish “Like when your kid hands you their boogers and you take them, yeah, I’m a mom,” oh and also the goodtime that is “…putting underpants on someone who is dancing.”

So since Tina Fey is getting her three year old to work, I thought I’d get my three year old daughter Annabella to work too, as a Babble guest blogger. We sat and watched Tina Fey’s appearance on the Late Show and here were her reactions:

Tina Fey on her 3 ½ daughter Alice:
Annabella: I’m three! Hey mom I’m three! I’m Three!

Tina Fey mentioning Disney World:
Annabella whispers: There’s another Disney?!?!?!

Tina Fey mentioning lollipops:
Annabella: Remember I just got a lollipop?
Me: No, when?
Annabella: I don’t know...

Tina Fey says, “I’m a mom”:
Annabella: You’re a mom! (while poking me in the forehead)

Tina Fey on the job being a grind:
Annabella: Remember when I grind a salt?

Tina Fey on SNL:
Annabella: Hey, Your name starts with a S!
Annabella: I want fizzy water. Mommy, I want fizzy water!

Tina Fey on working 361 days a year:
Annabella: Hey, I’m three!

Tina Fey on putting underpants on someone who is dancing:
Annabella: Hey you have underpants!

On second thought, maybe my daughter should just stick with her day job, being three.

They Say: Kids Attached to Mom Make Better Friends

JeanneSager — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 20:32:00 GMT

Think your kid's too clingy? That might not be such a bad thing.

A new study from the University of Illinois links preschoolers attachment to their mothers with their ability to forge friendships.

In other words? If they're in tight with Mom, they have an enhanced sense of empathy. They're better able to make friends, but also better able to sustain friendships.

Researchers used data from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development Study of Early Child Care and Youth Development to look at the way more than one thousand kids interacted with their mothers and then with their peers. Following the kids from age three (preschool) on through first grade, they found the kids who had secure relationships with their mothers also had a better grasp on language at age four and a half than their peers.

"When kids feel comfortable talking about their emotions, especially their negative emotions, it increases their social competence with classmates and leads to closer friendships," explains researcher Nancy McElwain of the University of Illinois.

It's hard to assess this one internally - how do you determine whether you and your child have the best relationship? But watching my friends with their children, I see direct evidence of this theory. One friend, in particular, worried that her second child was too firmly attached to her coattails when she sent him off to nursery school. Small for his age, a "mama's boy," he could easily be the picked on kid. And yet, a friendship forged with another little boy in his class is one of the strongest I've seen - especially for two four-year-olds. He's been able, at four, to determine which kids he likes, which kids he doesn't - and already allied himself so closely with his little buddy that the two have an almost intuitive sense of where they fit in one another's lives.

Secure in his sense of where he fits in at home, and how much he's loved by his parents, he's been able to transfer that sense of self over to the school building, not bothering to be pulled into the playground politics.

Do you see a difference in how your kids relate to other kids from the way they relate at home? Do you think they're too clingy to you?

Image: LIve Science

How Do You Spell 'Burberry'?

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 23:30:00 GMT

It’s so much fun to hear language be manhandled by kids who are highly verbal but still preliterate. Their untrained ears find hilarious and creative sounds in words that we adults have memorized too well to really hear anymore.

When I was little, I used to think that the word “reconnoiter” was actually a phrase: wreck and order. Whenever my mom suggested that we reconnoiter a beach or a park, I thought we were going to trash the joint and then clean up after ourselves—which is, actually, pretty much what we did.

A four-year-old featured on today’s Kids Say the Cutest Things had a very sophisticated linguistic misunderstanding about her stuffed animal. Here’s how her mom or dad explained it: “My daughter has a bear that has a Burberry pattern scarf. The lady at the portrait studio asked what her bear was called and my 4 year old responded, ‘His name is BurBear, but I don't know what his last name is. It's starts with an E.’”

It makes so much sense that a four-year-old heard the “bear” in Burberry, while we adults only hear the cha-ching of the cash register.

Photo: http://myviewsmyideas-rubal.blogspot.com

Is the Sitter Just There to Watch the Kids?

JeanneSager — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 21:25:00 GMT

Have you ever asked the babysitter to do laundry? Wash your dishes? Take out the trash.

A fed up babysitter sounded off over at MomLogic this week, putting parents on notice she's paid to watch the kids . . . and only to watch the kids.

"Mary Poppins," says she's sick of moms bugging her about how to properly iron their little boy's shirt before a party, and she's not reaching their hands into that laundry basket and washing hubby's clothes.

She's got a point. She's not the maid. She's the sitter.

But is she a little bit wrong too? Is there ever a time when it's appropriate to ask the sitter to do chores around the house?

It's rare that sitters come to my house, but I can't say that I've ever asked one to do anything more than spend time with my daughter and keep her out of trouble. I try to prep the meals ahead of time, so they have only to throw some milk or juice in a cup at intervals throughout the day and unwrap the PB&J to put it on a plate. They're welcome to the food in the cabinet, but I'd prefer not to come home to a pile of dishes in my sink.

Beyond that, there isn't much I can imagine asking my sitters to do. I admit I am enamored with the one teenager my friend recommended, who spent part of the day in my daughter's room with her, empty each dresser drawer of clothing, folding everything and putting it back. I paid top dollar for her, but wowsa - I could FIND a pair of jammie pants and a jammie shirt that matched that night! You want her number now, don't you?

As a babysitter myself back in the day, I remember doing that type of thing - the unasked-for tidying. I clearly remember alighting from the bus with the little boy I watched every afternoon, heading inside to set him up at the table to do his homework then turning to the dishwasher. We had our adventures, but when we weren't tromping through the woods or reading in the living room, I felt like I had to keep myself busy.

There were limits. I would never have touched the parents' laundry; and if they'd asked I would have balked. Laundry is just too personal a job for someone who isn't being paid to do it, and for a teenaged babysitter to have to see the Dad's underwear there can be untold traumas!

But the kids' laundry is another issue. "Mary Poppins" says she won't iron the baby girl's socks as asked. She won't iron the kids' pajamas either because that's "stupid." I tend to agree with her on the order itself (but then again, I don't iron - that's what a spritz of water and a tumble in the dryer is for). But this is an issue that's related to the task at hand - it's part of taking care of the kids. Doesn't that make it part of her job?

What about picking up after the kids? She says she barely has time to get their dirty breakfast bowls in the sink because keeping up with three toddlers is hard. Yes, toddlers are hard to handle, but she picked babysitting. She told these parents she could handle the task. Now, apparently, she can't. So maybe the people she needs to go back the drawing board with the parents, and discuss what's expected and what she's comfortable doing. Or maybe she needs to find a new job, in a new career path.

I might not ask my babysitter to do much, but if she told me she flat out didn't think she had to do things that related directly to watch my kid, I'd be finding another sitter.

Image: MomLogic

Fictional Fighting With Five-Year Olds

Brett Singer — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 22:00:00 GMT

This dopey web quiz provides a few seconds of mirth with minimal effort.

The site, created by Matthew Inman for the dating service Mingle2, asks you a series of questions, such as, "Which best describes your sense of balance: 1) I'm not very balanced, I sometimes have trouble standing on one foot or staying upright on a snowboard or exercise ball…", "Do you have any experience fighting swarms, such as being chased by a bunch of pissed-off bees or playing starcraft against the Zerg?" and " Have you ever been trampled? (by a horse, at a rock concert, etc)"

The third page of the quiz is vaguely thought provoking. "How would you feel about the fact that you're fighting a bunch of kids?" "During the fight, would you feel morally comfortable picking up a child and using him/her as a weapon to throw at other children?" Presumably the number of kids required to take you down will increase if you answer "To hell with morality, I'd be too busy pile-driving, crane-kicking, and bare-knuckle bashing them all the way back to kintergarten [sic]" as opposed to "This is so wrong - these are children for pete's sake. I don't think I could fight them, even in self defense."

After you answer everything to the best of your ability, you are presented with a number. That number is How Many Five Year Olds Could Take You In A Fight. My number was 15:

By the way, don't feel like you have to join Mingle2 to get your result. It looks that way, but if you look at the smaller text just below the big "JOIN NOW" banner, you'll see that you can click there and just find out how strong/wimpy you are without actually re-entering the dating pool.

So what's your number?

Source: howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com

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Would You Toilet-Train Your Child On National TV?

Kate Tuttle — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:59:00 GMT

Apparently, some producers think someone will -- and more intriguingly, that people will actually want to watch it! According to an item in the Miami Herald, a casting director is looking for families who would be willing to have their potty-training exploits chronciled on television as part of a new reality show. I guess the ratings for Jon & Kate Plus Eight, which frequently follows the goings-on in the Gosselin family bathrooms, must have prompted some TV producers to think people could get hooked on watching the process close up and personal. Personally, living through it once already -- and with another child waiting in the wings for next year -- is far than enough "reality" in my potty-training life. And as for allowing cameras to enter and follow the process at my house, that would mean I'd have to chase dust bunnies out from under our changing table, and that is not on the agenda.

What do you think: Would you sign up your kid? Would you watch someone else's?

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VIDEO: I Kissed a Pig (And I Liked It)

Brett Singer — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 19:00:00 GMT

This kid really likes that pig. That's some kiss.

I feel a song coming on…

I kissed a pig / And I liked it! / Tasted just like / a B L T
I kissed a pig / And I liked it! / Hope my friends don't / make fun of me…

UPDATE:

Actually, here's the song, along with a video:

I think it's gonna be a big, big hit.

The follow-up shows what might happen if they grow up, get married, and have children of their own.

I think that’s still illegal in most states, however. But now that a Democrat will be President, it'll be Sodom and Gomorrah before we know it. So perhaps there is hope for the happy couple.

On a semi-serious note, this is kind of gross but I think all kids do it. Not quite to this extent, however. I can't imagine either of my children getting to first base with a barnyard animal, even when they were babies. Then again, we're Jewish, and while we're not Kosher, we do tend to avoid pork. Then again, a little bacon never hurt anyone…

Source: Buzzfeed

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Zimbabwe Releases Jailed Toddler

JeanneSager — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 15:02:00 GMT

Ever heard of a toddler who doesn't "dissent" once in awhile?

In a crackdown on dissenters against Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe, a two-year-old landed in the pokey for weeks where members of the opposition party say he was tortured along with his parents and other dissenters.

It isn't clear how long Nigel Mutemagau and his parents, Collen Mutemagau and Violet Mupfuranhehwe, have been in jail. Along with other activists, they went missing, reportedly being taken as a family from their home. They were finally brought into a courtroom on Christmas Eve, when the government admitted they were in custody - including two-year-old Nigel.

They continued to keep him in jail until Tuesday, when a judge finally determined there was no reason to keep him and ordered his release. His parents are still in jail for allegedly attempting to overthrow Mugabe's regime.

I know I shouldn't bother trying to make sense of a dictatorship. But come on, a two-year-old jailed for politcal dissent? Are cries of "Mommy, have to go potty" going to take down the presidency? Maybe he can lie on the floor in front of the presidential home and have a good old-fashioned tantrum, kick his way through the doors. Or he could launch Cheerios at the president's guards.

This is nothing short of ridiculous.

Image: AP

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Uncover Your Nipples! 7 Gems from the Mouths of Nursing Toddlers

Miriam Axel-Lute — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Every mother who has nursed past a year has heard someone's opinion that "Once they're old enough to ask for it, they're too old." This is, from health and evolution standpoints, absurd.

But especially in a culture that's still a little iffy on being made too aware of breastfeeding at all, the fact remains that having a verbal nursing kid can lead to some, ahem, interesting moments. They fall into a few key categories:

Baby Talk: Too Much or Too Little

1. "Num-nums!" "Oobies!" "Boob!" "Nu-nu!" There's no better way to realize that you have, despite your pre-parental protestations, incorporated sickeningly cutesy baby talk into your everyday vocabulary than to have it shouted at you in public and realize you're going to have to respond as if those words were language, and possibly even speak them yourself.

2. "Mama snacks!" "Hello nipple!" "Where's your breast?" Or the gourmet who says "Yum!" whenever he passes by the bras at Target. Some toddlers don't just nurse, they are vocal and articulate nursing enthusiasts. Some times so pointed that it's verbal equivalent of saying "damn the discreet cover-up." Which is fine. Except of course it was your kid's choice, not yours.

Your Words Out of Their Mouths

3. Version A: The politeness backfire. "Ask, nurse, please?" says one kid. "Hi. Milk. Smile," said mine for a while, betraying our attempts to explain what, beyond the technical words, constituted asking nicely.
4. Version B: Crossed wires. One mother reports that after training her son out of bad nursing behavior (oh, the dreaded twiddling) by repeatedly telling him he was all done with that, now he asks to nurse by saying hopefully "All done? All done?" (Bet she gets the "He wants to wean and you're not letting him!" treatment.)

The "Other Side" Confusion

4. "Side! I want side!" I thought it was a funny fluke that my daughter's younger friend picked up on her saying "other side" and began calling nursing "side." But apparently he's far from alone. That doesn't mean that anyone hearing will think it makes any sense though.

Parenting Shortcuts Exposed

5. Many of us have tried the squirting-breastmilk-on-an-oozing-eye trick. Whether or not it works, it gave my daughter the idea that she wanted milk squirted on her every injury. Once she got this in her head, a symbolic waving of a bare nipple across the offended limb was placebo enough to make almost anything instantly all better, so I played along out of laziness. Until, that is, I was on the sidewalk with a kid with a scrape who was screaming "Mommmmy! Milk on my knee! No! Milk on my knee!"

The Mini-Domme

6. "I'm going to open you up!" It's one thing to have a kid determinedly lifting your shirt before you've said it's OK. It's another when it comes with a declaration worthy of a TV surgeon. Of course that's better than . . .

7. "Uncover your nipples!" It's not as bad as it sounds, as she usually means it as a contrast to my having drawn the covers up over us in bed for a falling-asleep nurse, but I admit that I'm not-so-secretly hoping this one never leaves the house.

I'm sure I and mothers I heard these from are not alone. What has your nursing Baby Einstein come out with?

(Images were submissions to the Mothering breastfeeding icon contest.)

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Chances Are, You Don't Know Jack

Amy Kuras — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 21:30:00 GMT

Hi! You’re an idiot – at parenting at least. And so am I!

That seems to be the upshot of this study authored by Dr. Heather Paradis, a pediatric fellow at the University of Rochester Medical Center, in New York state. Paradis’ study found that parents have a surprisingly low level of knowledge about child development and what’s normal for children at different phases of life.

More than 10,000 parents – more than 98 percent of whom were mothers – of nine-month-old infants were asked a series of 11 questions about children’s development. One-thirds answered four or more wrong. For example, many mothers didn’t know that one-year-olds often don't share or cooperate when playing with other children, and that an 18-month-old’s natural curiosity leads him or her to have a hard time sitting quietly and still for long periods of time.

The risk is that parents will respond to normal behavior with harsh discipline and withdrawal of affection, setting up negative patterns in their relationships with their children.

Two questions on the survey were: "Should a 1-year-old child be able to tell between right from wrong?" and "Should a 1-year-old child be ready to begin toilet-training?"

(both no, FYI).

There was a strong correlation between parents of lower education and income and lack of parenting knowledge; however, even adjusted for those factors and the mother’s mental state, knowledge levels were still lower than expected.

Paradis suggests that making sure parents keep their child’s schedule of well-baby appointments is key to helping parents find out information. I think all parents should also get some kind of good, simple, parenting book before they give birth with no “philosophy du jour,” just straight-up information. After all, parenting is hard and knowledge is power.

They Say: Smoking While Pregnant Makes Kids Aggressive

Brett Singer — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 15:00:00 GMT

I thought it was generally acknowledged that it was a bad idea for women to smoke while pregnant. A new study provides another reason: the kids could end up aggressive. The likelihood of aggressive behavior increases if the family makes less than $40,000 per year. This is according to a study conducted by Canadian doctors that was published in the academic journal Development and Psychopathology.

To clarify, "aggressive behavior" – or "behaviour", as they call it, since some people have to spell things differently – is that which the mothers characterized "as quick to hit, bite, kick, fight and bully others." (I guess spitting is OK. Throwing things, perhaps?) The children studied were between 18 months and three and a half years of age.

"Mothers-to-be whose lives have been marked by anti-social behaviour have a 67 percent chance to have a physically aggressive child if they smoke 10 cigarettes a day while pregnant, compared with 16 percent for those who are non-smokers or who smoke fewer than 10 cigarettes a day. Smoking also seems to be an aggravating factor, although less pronounced, in mothers whose anti-social behaviour is negligible or zero."

Other factors contributing to aggressiveness in preschool kids, sayeth the study: "mothers who are younger than 21, who smoke and who coerce their children to behave." Also, "children from families who earned less than $40,000 per year were at an increased risk for aggressive behaviour." Which I guess means that families earning less than $40,000 are more likely to have aggressive children whether mom puffs or not. But the aggressiveness INCREASED in those families if mom smoked, and DECREASED if she didn't.

Are you bored yet?

Here's my issue with studies like this. We know smoking while pregnant is a bad idea. (Like playing piano in a marching band, as they say on The Animaniacs.) So what exactly is the point of this study? What did we find out, that families with less money and a mother with a nicotine addiction are more likely to have children who exhibit "aggressive behaviour", as defined by a certain specific "behaviours"? So what? How about a study that looks at methods that might help those kids deal with their aggression?

Reading this study makes me feel very aggressive. I need to go bite something. But since my mother doesn't smoke, I'll just bite into a sandwich.

Source: Science Daily

Image: Church Times

Third Hand Smoke Can Harm Your Kids

They Say -- Kids Who Skip Breakfast and Hate Mom Have Sex Sooner

They Say -- Vaccines Work

Mom Shoplifts Parenting Book With Kids in Tow

They Say: Medidation May Help Ease Kids' ADHD

Toddler Injured in Xmas Tree Fight Between Mom and Grandma

"You Won't Remember This Either"

Shannon LC Cate — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 01:41:00 GMT

I loved this animated short film father, Jeff Scher made as a "portrait" of his toddler. It is his second one of this type. The first was called "You Won't Remember This" and was for his first son. This, for his second son, is called "You Won't Remember This Either."

Says the artist:

"The word “toddler” defines a stage of life literally named for the style of locomotion displayed at this age. When toddlers are first walking, their every step is filled with suspense, and the exercise soon degenerates into a vaudeville act worthy of a Borscht Belt drum roll. Fortunately, they seem to be made out of rubber. Toddlers toddling in their never-ending battle with gravity is a comic ballet I wanted to animate."

Watch it on your whole screen. I promise it's a minute and a half you'll never regret spending.

Image: www.goodyblog.com

The Five Cutest Things Kids Say

editors — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 18:07:00 GMT

If you haven't logged into Babble's new Kids Say The Cutest Things feature, this is the genius that you are missing:

I'll say sorry when I'm done, momma. - Edie, 2, when asked why she won't stop pulling everything out of the kitchen drawers.

Mom, I think you better just let the guy on the radio sing this song. - Laura, Age 3

My son was 'reading' one of his books that has words and pictures. He was moving his finger over the words and saying them in a sing-song long and drawn out. "Caaat...Dooog," etc. When he got to the fish, he said, "Gold fiiiish." I said, "That just says fish," and without missing a beat, in the same sing-song, he ran his finger back over the word and said, "Just says fiiiish." - Cayden, age 2

Let's rest together, but let's rest with our eyes open, so if I hear something loud, I can see what it is. - Declan, age 3.5

When I told my daughter, Age 4, that I was going to get my hair colored, she said "Then it will look like we've never been bad." I guess I told them her once too often that she and her brother were giving me gray hair. - Maryland

Check it out now and tell us how freaking cute your little one is, and then vote on all of the other wonderful witticisms!

I Dare You to Find a Cuter Kid Video

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 00:03:00 GMT

The eight painstaking years I spent studying French just paid off. I don’t know who this girl is or where she came off, but I am pretty sure that she will one day inherit the earth.

Just in case you temporarily forgot that little kids speaking French is the best part of life, I share this video with you of a master storyteller with the most zurbert-able cheeks you’ve ever seen. She spins an impressive tale involving Tigger, poverty, a clawed mammoth, a suicidal hippopotamus, and allergies to magic. Truly, this is not to be missed.

Photo: gledwood2.blogspot.com

Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

A Dispatch from the Other Side

Amy Kuras — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 16:32:00 GMT

When you’re right in the thick of this parenting small kids thing, it’s easy to think it will never end, that you’ll always be busy, stressed, wiping noses and butts and rarely having a moment when someone doesn’t need you right this second.

But really, this slice of life is very small in the grand scheme of things. For some reason Halloween is triggering that for me, remembering how last year I was beginning to get very obviously pregnant and my daughter was enthusiastically embracing Halloween for the first time. Looking at my sweet pudgy baby son who fits so snugly into the crook of my arm, I realize it seems like just a few months ago his sister, who’s now so tall I can hardly carry her, spent most of her days carted around like this too. And I know sooner than I like to think, they’ll be doing God knows what at grownup Halloween parties and hopefully will remember to call me on Sundays.

This column from the Boston Globe really brought it home for me – in it, a mother of grown kids tells how the friends she made when she was raising her children have stuck together through the years. It started with a dinner to console and commiserate with each other the year the kids left for college, and is still going strong now, 13 years later. Some of those grown children join them now, as do grandchildren.

It reminded me that someday this will all be over – and that someday is coming much sooner than I think.