Strollerderby : transformers

Gifts I Want That I Can Pretend Are For The Kids

Brett Singer — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:00:00 GMT

One of the things I like about being a parent is the fact that it allows me to regress with impunity. For example, a childless man who plays with Legos? Creepy. A father who plays with Legos? Aw, that's so sweet. He's such a good dad. With that in mind, here are a few gifts that I want this holiday season that I can pretend are really for the children. If they're lucky, I might even let the kids play with them.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed – when we got a Wii, one of the first things I thought of was, "I want a game that lets me use the WiiMote like a sword." When I heard about a new Star Wars game that would allow you to use the WiiMore like a LIGHTSABER, I realized that this was potentially a dream come true. A dream I didn't even know I had. Namely, that I could use the WiiMote like a lightsaber. Hello? How many times did I imagine that I was Luke Skywalker, battling Darth Vader, denying he was my father as I swung my lightsaber in defiance? (Yes, Han Solo was cooler but Luke was a Jedi and was a more attainable goal – you weren't going to be as cool as Han, but you could definitely be like Luke. OK, I was a kid with self-esteem issues.) The idea that I can do this as an adult and get away with it because I have a son is almost too cool to imagine. Reviews of the game on Amazon are mixed, ranging from "pretty good" to "Worst. Game. Ever." There are a few "all my childhood dreams realized" comments on there. Until I actually play the game, I'll stick with those.

To make the nerdy experience truly complete, there is the Thrustmaster Glow Saber Duo Pack, which sounds like the name of a sex toy from a Woody Allen movie but is actually a Wii accessory where you insert the WiiMote into a glowing piece of plastic and wave it around like a lightsaber.

Peanuts Holiday Collection (It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown / A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving / A Charlie Brown Christmas): This one isn't as embarrassing as the other two. The various Peanuts holiday specials have, in my opinion, stood the test of time better than any others. The animation is pleasantly low-key, the voice acting isn't obnoxiously loud and the kids actually sound like kids, and there are no stupid adults around. It's sentimental without being saccharine, funny without resorting to lowbrow comedy (nothing wrong with that but it's nice to see something different everyone now and then), and its great when you can enjoy something from your childhood with your kids without being forced to explain to them why you like it.

Marvel Transformers: It's unclear how I managed to not hear about these amazing new toys. It could be because I'm an adult. But I don't like that explanation. How can something as unbelievably cool as an Iron Man Transformer action figure not have been on my geeky radar? I might have to turn in my Platinum Nerd Card. In all seriousness – well, not ALL seriousness, this isn't a very serious topic – these look cool, appear to be in stock at Amazon, and would provide hours of fun for me, I mean MY CHILDREN. So come on. Fill my stocking with superheroes!

They Say – Lots of Toys Are Sold Out – Or Are They?

When Holiday Toys Attack

They Say – Raise Kids Who Care

Are these toys sold out?

Brett Singer — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 19:00:00 GMT

According to Gareb Shamus of Toy Wishes Magazine, these toys are what all the kids want. But, says Shamus, you can't get them, because they're sold out. I'm not sure that he's correct about that. We checked on seven toys here, now let's try eight more.

8. Clone Wars Voice Changing Helmet: Again, Amazon's got it, not even from a third-party shipper. But it's not Darth Vader. So what's the point? According to the product description, "Kids want to be clone troopers." (That's actually listed as a product feature. Odd.) I hope that this statement is not true. If it is, that is sad. Wanting to be Han Solo, I get. Wanting to be a Clone Trooper? Say it ain't so, Bo(ba).

9. Wall-E - U-Command, i-Dance and Transforming: i-Dance they have. Same with U-Command. (Couldn't find Transforming for some reason.) However, both are from third-party folks, and U-Command is over $150.00. That seems like a bad idea unless one of the commands is "rob a bank."

10. Club Penguin Plush and trading cards: Bingo! Club Penguin Plush, not in stock as of this writing. Available from a random person. Looks kind of ugly to me but what do I know. Trading cards they have from third party folks.

11. Webkinz – Plush: It might be tough to find the specific one your kid wants (Webkinz Platypus, anyone? I just made that up) but these are out there.

12. Imaginext – Superfriends: Amazon has it! At least, they have some of them, like this Batmobile. If these are from the same series of toys that my younger son has, I highly recommend them. It's like Batman-lite – more BatMite than Dark Knight. (If you get that reference, you earn points towards your Geek Gold Card.) Fun for kids and also dads. At least this dad.

13. Nerf - all the Nerf Blasters: Well, not ALL, since Amazon has this ominously named Nerf N-Strike Recon CS-6 Dart Blaster. Weapon of kiddie mass destruction, anyone? Also not for the under 3 set.

14. Eyeclops night vision goggles: These look kinda cool, and are in stock. My problem with toys like these is that in my experience kids get bored with them pretty quickly. But perhaps your children are different.

15. Girl Gourmet cupcake maker: I'm not a fan of children making "real" food with dopey fake playsets like these. Why is that? Because I can't imagine that the ingredients of the "special cupcake mixes" are substances that occur in nature. This comment from Amazon, titled "What's that smell??" is telling and quite helpful: "At the end of the day, it was fun for them, stinky for all of us and too darn messy. You are better off with supervised baking then this junky mix." The commenter goes on to say that the product is a good idea but the "flavoring needs tweaking." I beg to differ, but hey, to each his or her own. I'm not against my children eating crap, but they should eat good old American pre-packaged crap that doesn't require further preparation.

So no offense to Mr. Shamus, but this stuff doesn't appear to be as sold out as he said. I'm thinking bad economy = easier to find popular toys. To be fair, many of the items were unavailable except through third-party sellers. But it seems like, with a little digging, you can get most of what your kids want. Not that the holidays are all about toys. But sometimes they are.

When Holiday Toys Attack

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Last Day For Free Holiday Shipping

Indiana Planned Parenthood Sells Gift Certificates

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout For Christmas

Babble Podcast for December 15, 2008

They Say – Lots of Toys Are Sold Out – Or Are They?

Brett Singer — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 23:30:00 GMT

According to Gareb Shamus of Toy Wishes Magazine, these toys are what all the kids want. But, says Shamus, you can't get them, because they're sold out. I'm not sure that he's correct about that. Let's see what we can find in stock.

1.      Bakugan: My son actually got this as an early Chanukah present. Not bad but a little over-rated in my opinion. Basically you throw little balls into a plastic arena, and if the balls hit a particular magnetic card, they pop open. It's neat but only for the first hundred times. There are also rules that seem too complex for my taste, but I’m old and sometimes these games confuse me. Available at Amazon.
2.      Lego Star Wars and Lego Batman: Lego Star Wars is great. Lego Batman, feh. Don't bother. I'm talking about the video games, though, not the Legos themselves. In general I believe that any Legos are good Legos, so if you can't find Star Wars or Batman versions, just go with regular ones. If the kids complain, tell them they should be glad they're getting any presents at all in this economy. (OK, telling them that would be mean. But it's fun to think about, right?) Lots of options at Amazon, but it does appear that most are sold out.
3.      Star Wars Action Figures - All, particularly Clone Commander Cody and Ahsoka Tano: This reveals me to be a tremendous nerd, but I think I've outed myself as Dorky Dad a long time ago. Commander Cody action figures are sold out??? That just doesn't seem right. I mean, I remember when Boba Fett was hard to find. That I can understand. But Commander Cody? C'mon. Available at Amazon for a whopping $44.99. Crazy.
4.      Dora Magical Figures: I found these on Craig's List, although they're probably gone by now. (Note: I am not suggesting you buy something from Craig's List. Also not suggesting that you DON'T buy from Craig's List. That is what is known as a "covering my butt disclaimer". That's a legal term.)
5.      Ben 10 Alien Creation Chamber: Amazon has it from a third-party retailer. Sadly, it does not appear to create life-size "Island of Doctor Moreau" creatures.
6.      Hasbro - Marvel Transformers: I was unaware of the existence of these action figures, but now that I am, I must have them. I mean, my son must have them. Iron Man meets Transformers? Are you kidding me??? Amazon seems to have them in stock from third-party retailers. I… I mean, my SON, really wants these. All of them.
7.      Yo Gabba Gabba Dance Mat: Amazon's got it. It looks fun, but noisy. Also: "CHOKING HAZARD -- Small parts. Not for children under 3 yrs." Which seems odd because that's an age I would think this product appeals to. But I guess not.

Hmmm... so far lots of stuff is in stock, although sometimes from third-party sellers. For eight more, check out part 2 here.

When Holiday Toys Attack

Half Price Toys at Target

Last Day For Free Holiday Shipping

Indiana Planned Parenthood Sells Gift Certificates

Miss Piggy Wants a Bailout For Christmas

Babble Podcast for December 15, 2008

The Candy That Time Forgot

Brett Singer — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 21:45:00 GMT

I stumbled onto a list of candies that we are unlikely to encounter in our children's treat bags tonight. One of them (Bit O'Honey) was on my Babble List, but the rest weren't. Let's look at a few entries from the Island of Discarded Sweets:

Bubble Gum Cigarettes

To my recollection, these tasted really gross, but they blew sugary "smoke" and were therefore "cool" – or should that be "Kool"? I can't imagine seeing them today.

Candy Buttons

Nothing wrong with these, I guess – that is, they're not a candy that mimics a horrible unhealthy habit. But they do encourage the eating of paper, since it's impossible to get the stupid buttons off the backing without ingesting a little mashed up dead tree substance.

Wax Bottles

I have to be honest here. I've never tasted one of these. Whenever I encountered one, I avoided it like booger-flavored jellybeans. I guess it's some sort of sugary liquid encased in wax – is that right? Anyone want to enlighten me?

Sixlets

These were a rare treat. So good. Like M&M's but somehow fancier.

Toffifay

These always offended me a little bit. I can't remember if “It’s Too Good For Kids!” was the actual slogan but that was definitely the attitude. This and Toberlone – if these somehow ended up in my trick or treat bag, some dopey grown-up would liberate them from my possession. NO CANDY IS TOO GOOD FOR ME!

Pop Rocks

Man, do I not miss these things. They did not, I believe, actually kill Mikey. But they're so gross it's believable.

There's more, read the rest of the list here. Any old-time candy that you miss, or don't miss?

Source: MightyJunior

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How To Carve a Pumpkin (Video)

Brett Singer — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:00:00 GMT

If anyone hasn't gotten around to slicing and dicing their yearly Jack O'Lantern (me), or just wants a few tips on how to do it better (me), here is Chris Gould (not me) to show you how. Apparently it's all about etching rather than carving. In the spirit of the holiday, we'll forgive the Red Sox t-shirt.

Source: how2heroes.com

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Defamer's Top 10 Halloween Specials

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7 Awesome Halloween Costumes for Pregnant Chicks

The Return of the Halloween Baby Slut Costumes

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Incredibly Good Homemade Halloween Costumes

Brett Singer — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 20:00:00 GMT

When it comes to Halloween costumes, we're not very crafty at my house. The kids want to be characters from movies and TV, and I'm fine with that. It's much easier to buy an Iron Man costume than it is to make one. Admittedly, I have the artistic ability of a three year old, and that's being generous.

Some people, however, have the talent and are not afraid to use it. Check out this gallery of homemade costumes from the Kansas City Star.

Optimus Prime

This is, frankly, much better than anything you could buy. It wasn't cheap or easy, though – 40 hours and 50 bucks worth of materials, such as " rubber doorstops, PVC, football shoulder pads and 'lots and lots of duct tape'" according to Eric Collins, who made the lead Autobot costume for his son Cameron. The final touch was "custom vinyl decals." Way over my head. But nice job, dude.

Homemade Hippies

These two are more the kind of thing I might be able to do, except for the whole "making the clothes" part. (I can sew on a button, but that's about it.) Less impressive than Optimus Prime, but still cute. I guess that means the younger generation still knows what hippies were.

For a few more, click here.

When Halloween rolls around, do you buy costumes or make your own?

Source: kansascity.com

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Why Are The Grown Up Costumes For Women So Slutty?

What are your kids wearing this Halloween?

Santa Claus says: Smoke More

Defamer's Top 10 Halloween Specials

A Halloween Playlist for Your Kids' Party

7 Awesome Halloween Costumes for Pregnant Chicks

The Return of the Halloween Baby Slut Costumes

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The Babble List: The Best Candy Ever

Babble Best: Toddler Halloween Costumes

Babble Best: Newborn Halloween Costumes

5 reasons it's a good thing I had boys

Brett Singer — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 17:05:00 GMT

I was going to say, "I'm glad I have boys" but that didn't sound quite right. That is, I would love girl-children just as much as I love my guys. But there are a few ways that having boys has made my life – mine, specifically – a little bit easier.

1. No pink ponies: It doesn't seem like having a Y chromosome should automatically mean that one is interested in superheroes, videogames, and action figures inspired by superheroes and videogames. But experience says otherwise. While there are definitely girls who love trucks and boys who follow the Frasier and Niles Crane path – a love of opera, Broadway and snappy clothing – my guys are way into Spider-Man, Batman, Superman, Pokémon, Wii, Playstation 2, and so on. If I had to learn whatever there is to know about My Little Pony, I think my brain would crawl out of my ear.

2. Miley-free zone: Thus far Things 1 and 2 have shown zero interest in Billy Ray Cyrus' little ~~meal ticket~~ girl, which means I can continue to go through life knowing almost nothing about her. Maybe this will change when they get older, but hopefully by then Miley Ray Hannah Montana Stewart Cyrus will have either pulled a Britney Spears and had a meltdown, grown up and started singing jazz standards, or retired to spend her days sitting on a giant pile of cash gazing longingly at Nick Jonas. OK, I guess I sort of know something about her, but that's just from trying to keep up with pop culture. I have nothing against Miley or the Jonases, but not having to listen to their music or attend their concerts is something I will never, ever complain about.

3. No batting of eyelashes: My wife has pointed out many times that if we had had girls, odds are I would be putty in their hands. I wish I could say I disagree but I think she's probably right. Little girls are so cute, and seeing them cry is much more painful than seeing boys cry. I know that's stupid, sexist, and stupid (did I say that one already?). But I've seen, more than once, little girls who lead their dads around by the nose. It's probably best if we never find out whether or not I would join their ranks.

4. Less irrational over-protectiveness: Again, I am fully aware that this is unfair, stupid and sexist. But if I had girl-children, I would be very tempted not to let them leave the house until they were 30. I guess going to school would be OK, as long as they dressed like those Mormon sect people.

5. No High School Musical: When this monstrosity first started airing on the Disney Channel and the CD went to number one, I tried to watch it out of curiosity. I made it through about 15 minutes before I realized that it would probably be more fun to chew glass. The songs are lame, the characters are dull, the story is… Feh. Anyway, the boys seem immune to whatever charms that thing has, and for that, I am grateful.

image: Amazon.com

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Bernie Mac dies for real

Brett Singer — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 14:00:00 GMT

The Chicago Tribune is reporting that Bernie Mac died this morning at the age of 50. The cause was complications from pneumonia. He was admitted to Northwestern Hospital in Chicago to receive treatment for sarcoidosis, a rare autoimmune disease.

Weirdly, a viral text message that made the rounds last week caused many people to believe he was already dead. That was revealed to be a hoax.

I always liked Bernie Mac. His sitcom was somewhat unique in that he wasn't the father of the children he was raising; he took his sister's kids when she entered rehab. He also, if memory serves, was a stay at home "dad"; his wife worked as an executive I think, and he was a stand-up comic. (Thanks to the commenter for this correction. My point wasn't that he didn't work, but that he was a father who was home with the kids, which is still not the norm on TV.) Mac wasn't shy about threatening to smack the kids around, which some found controversial, but I thought it was (a) realistic and (b) funny. He also had some film success with appearances in the "Ocean's 11, etc." remakes, among other roles.

His most recent headlines came because of a joke he told during a Barack Obama fundraising event. Mac used the word "ho" and Obama told him he didn't like it.

On TV, Bernie Mac had no children of his own, but in real life he had a wife, daughter, and a grandchild. 50 is too young to go but at least he knew some success in his life. Funny guy, very sad.

source/photo: Chicago Tribune

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More Kids Stuff I like that my kids don't care about

Brett Singer — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Here's some more stuff that makes my kids say, "Daa-aad!"

1. Old Sesame Street episodes: I detect a theme here. These don't show up on television anymore, but there was a series called "Sesame Street: Unpaved" that ran when my oldest son was born and I taped them. The older Sesame Street episodes have a much more improvised feel than the current version. Big Bird looks thinner and sometimes rambles like he's been imbibing something much stronger than a birdseed milkshake. Hey, it was the 70's, and they were still finding their way. You also get Roosevelt Franklin (eventually cut from the show because people thought he was a racist character) and no Elmo (see below).

2. Grover and Cookie Monster: OK, more Sesame Street, I know. But Elmo and Zoe are just not as much fun as Grover and Cookie Monster. Thing 2 actually finds Cookie Monster to be a little bit "scary", although he seems to be willing to tolerate him for my sake. And there's nothing better than a good Grover sketch.

3. Transformers – The Movie: I rented this 1986 animated big-screen version of the Robots In Disguise and we didn't even get through half an hour before Thing 1 got bored. After seeing the 2007 live action Michael Bay 'bots in theaters, he consented to give it another try and we made it all the way through, somewhat under protest. I was a fan of the cartoon, but had never seen the 1986 film, which is great. Voice talents include Leonard Nimoy (!), Casey Kasem, Scatman Crothers (!!), Judd Nelson (!!!), Eric Idle and even Orson Welles (!!!!!!) as evil and enormous Unicron (um, typecasting? Never mind). It also has the song "Dare to be Stupid" by Weird Al Yankovic, and the original 80's hair metal version of the title song, which is roughly 12 billion times better than the lame-o remake played over the ending credits in the new movie.

image: Amazon.com

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Delicious Droolicious: 5 Other Things to Do With an Optimus Prime Voice Changer Helmet

Kelly Mills — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 21:29:00 GMT

Posted by Aaron Burgess

If you've been scanning the "hot holiday toy" lists this season, you've no doubt seen many shots of Hasbro's Optimus Prime Voice Changer ($29.99), a big plastic helmet that lets your kids play as the Transformers hero and Autobots leader, complete with digitized robot voice. Of course, kids aren't the only ones who've taken to Optimus -- see these YouTube videos (some of the least unfunny, at least) of grown people geeking out over the thing.

This one's made the rounds (and is still the best):

Go, Malaysia!

Optimus doesn't need to show ID:

Optimus will pwn you:

I would've let him in free:

Other things gettng shouts on Droolicious:

80's Kids Shows to Movies: Which Ones Would You Choose?

Kelly Mills — Mon, 11 Jun 2007 20:31:00 GMT

I guess there's a live-action Transformers movie coming out. (As you can probably tell from my enthusiasm, I'll be camping out at the first showing to get tickets.) A little Wikipedia-ing told me Transformers have been around in one incarnation or another since 1984, but I think I was a little old for the original show, or just not that into cars that could become robots or what-have-you. However, at least one child of the 80's has a whole list of nostalgia shows she'd like to see made into movies (although I have to correct and say Ghostbusters was a movie before it was a show, oh 80's child.) On the list are G.I. Joe (if it hasn't been explicitly done, I think we've come pretty close with about a bajillion war movies), Jem (yup, truly, truly, TRULY outrageous), and the Smurfs (everyone inserts the Smurfette porn joke here). Also mentioned are Rainbow Brite (god help us) and Thundercats. Uh, thundercats, ho?

This list made me realize first and foremost that my child watches waaaaay better T.V. than I ever did, tricked out with Tivo as we are, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time before she's all into some poorly drawn, badly written program designed to sell merchandise. I'm not really heavy on the nostalgia-fix myself, but maybe there are one or two programs I wouldn't mind seeing as films. 1. Sigmund and the Seamonsters, which was 70's, not 80's, and is already live-action, but I watched it in the 80's and I wanna see a movie of it so get off my back, will ya? 2. Um, did we have any good T.V. back then? Mr. Rogers? Help me out here, people!

International Toy Fair 2007: Transformers Potato Head? More Than Meets The Eye!

thezeroboss — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 11:07:00 GMT

(Filed by correspondent Michelle Kung from the 2007 International Toy Fair)

The Autobots and Decepticons have long been laddie favorites and this summer, Hasbro is launching a merchandising attack. In addition to the standard tie-in figurines and video and board game tie-ins, the company is also taking a page out of its Star Wars handbook: Not only will kids be able to entertain themselves with an Optimus Prime voice-changing helmet, but the younger ones, in the tradition of Darth Tater and Spudtroopers, can take apart and re-build...an "Optimash Prime" Mr. Potato Head. (Hurrah for punny names!)

Other film-based products include stuffed-doll Transformers (that also convert from vehicles to robots), several models of arm blasters, which morph from car mode to Nerf-blaster mode in just one pull of the toy, and one demonstrator's personal favorite: the Ultimate Bumblebee action figure, a 14-inch camaro/robot that not only makes battle sounds, but also plays Devo's "Whip It!" to complete the 80s nostalgia.