Strollerderby : transition

Transgender Girl Kicked Out of School

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 20 May 2009 15:30:00 GMT

An eight-year-old who is biologically male but who has always identified as female has decided to begin living openly as a girl, even though this will mean leaving her beloved elementary school.

The second grader’s parents consulted with therapists and transgender specialists for many years before deciding to allow their son to live as a girl. It’s the same story shared by all parents of transgender children: from the time she could talk, the child (who will remain anonymous to protect her identity) told her parents that she was really a girl; she asked constantly to be able to wear dresses and drew pictures of herself in girl’s shoes and swimsuits.

“I know 8½ sounds pretty young, but when we’ve been dealing with it for six of those 8½ years, that’s a pretty long time,” the girl’s mother said. The Nebraska therapist whom the parents consulted warned them that attempting to deny transgender feelings can lead to drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and suicide.

Unfortunately, the child’s Catholic school does not see it that way. Although the eight-year-old wanted to continue third grade with her classmates, the church told her family that she would have to find a new school if she wanted to live as a girl.

So this fall, the eight-year-old will enter public school. Her parents say it’s a “delicate balance between helping people understand and protecting a child who’s different.” While they have chosen to speak to the media about the inborn nature of being transgendered, they do not necessarily want their daughter to be identified as transgender by her peers. They have enrolled her as a girl in her new school, and hope she will be unquestioningly accepted as such.

Photo: KETV

The Big Move

editors — Wed, 06 May 2009 14:30:00 GMT

Today on Babble:

The Big Move

By Rebecca Odes & Ceridwen Morris

How can I make my toddler okay with our new place?

Read it here.

Balancing Work and Parenting—When You're the First Lady

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 23:00:00 GMT

It’s hard to think of a more challenging place to balance work and parenting than the White House. But in an interview with Newsweek, Michelle Obama explains how she plans to continuing to being a “mom first.”

Fortunately, according to Michelle, Barack “loves hard work” and she loves “timetables and timelines and all that good stuff,” so they’re maintaining their cool in the face of a massive transition.

She hopes to continue keeping family life separate from work life, which she says she and Barack have mostly managed to do for the last year-and-a-half. She acknowledges that it will doubtless become more challenging once they’re in the White House, but says that “staying connected to friends and family who know you” helps. To the end, she’s hoping that her mother will move to D.C. with them, so she can continue to be actively involved in her granddaughters' lives.

Michelle has been adamant about finding the right schools for Sasha and Malia, attending parent-teacher conferences and all of their events, and getting them involved in activities they’re excited about—in other words, she and Barack will remain devoted, hands-on parents “no matter what their father’s job is.”

Michelle believes this level of commitment is important not only for Sasha and Malia, but as a model for other families: if even the president of the United States helps his kids with his homework, we can all find time to help our kids with their homework. “[Kids] have to be center in this society and this nation. We have to put their education, their needs, their well-being first and foremost. As adults, we can balance the other stuff. We're the grown-ups,” Michelle said, laughing.

As for the criticism she faced on the campaign trail, Michelle said, “Regardless of how they feel about Barack or the candidates, people are decent and they're kind. They are willing to give you a chance to prove yourself to them.” Now there is a lesson to pass on to our kids.

Balancing Work and Parenting—When You're a Campaign Reporter

Economic Reasons to Become a Man

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:30:00 GMT

Unless you’re willfully ignorant, you’re probably aware that there remains a significant gender wage gap in America—namely, that women make 79 cents for every dollar earned by men. Some people blame this disparity on discrimination, while others argue that it relates to different career goals.

Well, an avant-garde study has determined that discrimination is at least partly at work (gasp!). What better population to test out gender differences on than transgender people? In a study of transgender people in the workforce, researchers found that, across the board, men who became women earned an average of 32 percent less after the transition, while females who became males earned an average of 1.5 percent more after they transitioned.

Some of these people remained in their old jobs after their transitions, while some started new jobs. Some were out to their employers; others were not. The constant was that they had all already attended school and picked a profession—and, across the board, men earned more in this chosen profession.

So, it's official: women don't only earn less than men because they want to be mommies.

Image: Getty

Should Parents Delay Puberty for Transgender Children?

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Thu, 15 May 2008 18:00:00 GMT

In the aftermath of media hype about pregnant transgender man Thomas Beattie—much of which threatened to return the “freak” label to the trans community—NPR has run a fascinating story that explains gender identity disorder from the viewpoint of a family living through it.

According to Danielle and Robert (last names were omitted), from the time their son was two-years-old, he insisted on dressing like a girl. From the time he was old enough to talk, he told his parents, “I’m a girl.” Throughout elementary school, he frequently had temper outbursts so severe that his parents sought psychiatric help. Finally, at age 10, he was diagnosed with gender identity disorder, a label that came as a relief to his parents, who could finally stop asking themselves, “What have we done to make this child so unhappy?” And, sure enough, as soon as Danielle and Robert allowed their son to live as a girl, the fights and the tantrums stopped.

The gender identity disorder diagnosis also allowed Danielle and Robert to consider options that were not available only four years ago. By taking monthly injections of medication that stops the body from releasing sex hormones, transgender children are able to postpone puberty, while continuing to grow taller. Then, at around age 16, they may decide to transition to the opposite gender by taking either estrogen or testosterone. By the time they are fully developed adults, they are physically almost indistinguishable from the gender with which they identify.

It probably won’t come as a shock that this is a very controversial program. Not only does taking estrogen or testosterone before puberty cause infertility, but some specialists believe that children cannot know with certainty whether or not they want to live as the opposite sex.

But Danielle and Robert do not see this as a choice for their child, now called Violet. In response to people who say Violet is too young to know that he wants to be a girl, Robert says, “Well, when did you know you were a girl? When did I know I was a boy? I knew my whole life, I can’t tell you exactly when, but it wasn’t like I was 10 and realized, ‘Oh gee, I must be a boy!’”

I know many liberal-minded people who do not “believe in” being transgender—that is, they do not believe there is a biological basis for the desire to live as the opposite sex. What do you folks think of Danielle and Robert’s story?

Image: prunellavulgaris.wordpress.com

Counseling Over Transgendered Third Grader

Kelly Mills — Tue, 13 May 2008 22:35:00 GMT

When a third-grade boy in Pennsylvania decided to transition to being female, his parents asked the school for assistance with peer acceptance. The school consulted with experts on transgender children and asked a school counselor to hold sessions with 100 third graders to explain why their classmate would be taking a different name and wearing female clothing. The idea was to help the kids with acceptance and to prevent them from saying mean things.

So what's the kerfuffle? I bet you can guess. The school sent letters to parents the day before the sessions informing them of what would be happening. And clearly the parents need the counseling more, because while both the guidence counselor and the mom of one of the boy's friends say the kids are pretty cool with the whole thing, the adults are irate. One wrote an interesting and critical commentary of the school, saying, "Introduction of sexual abuse prevention programs over the years should have taught these educators that most parents like to have a say in all aspects of their children's sexual education--particularly one that could be controversial." Is this sexual education? I guess it is in one biological sense of the word 'sex', but it seems to me it's more about diversity, communication, basic decency, and not being an asshole just because your parents are. Then again, I live in California, which the author of the commentary seems to think is nut-land.