Strollerderby : urine

What Won't Men Do With a Diaper?

JeanneSager — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:31:00 GMT

I'm beginning to wonder if some men just have a diaper fetish.

First it was the guy stealing dirty diapers off porches in upstate New York. Now a Ukranian boxing champ is extolling the use of his son's wet diapers to reduce swelling in his fists.

"Baby wee is good because it's pure, doesn't contain toxins and doesn't smell," Vitali Klitschko told a German newspaper this week. "The nappies hold the liquid and the swelling stays down."

Apparently he's had one knock too many on the noggin.

Let me poke a little at his bubble. I'll do it carefully; I don't need to be "wee'd" on. See, babies are little humans. In other words, he's wrapping his hands in human waste. Doesn't sound quite as nice as baby wee, but what the hey.

Oh, and about those toxins. Apparently he doesn't keep up with the 'Derby. Because Amy gave us the lowdown months ago on all the toxic nasties that have been popping up in baby piss tests of late - think that unpronouncable hot parenting word, phthalates. Considering he got the idea from his Grandma, I guess we can excuse that part. Granny wasn't worrying about phthalates or BPA when she plopped her kids in their lead-painted crib.

Remind me not to shake hands with any boxers from the Ukraine.

Image: DiaperReview

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Stay out of my room or I'll pee on your tree

Brett Singer — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 14:00:00 GMT

I've tried to write a summary of this story but I haven't been able to come up with a better intro than this one (from the New York Times):

When the men of the Phoenix Country Club saw their feeding ways in peril, they did not tarry. Some sent nasty e-mail messages, hectored players on the fairway and, for good measure, urinated on a fellow club member’s pecan tree.

As you can probably guess, it was that last one – the whole "urinating on a tree" thing – that grabbed my attention. What caused otherwise civilized men to make pee-pee on the pecan tree? Why, it was the women! They want to eat in the same dining room as the men! Well, if some chick wants to do that, I'm going to take a leak on her tree! That'll show those nosy broads.

The specifics are as follows: the Phoenix Country Club in Arizona does not allow women to eat in the men's grill room. According to the New York Times, this grill room is where high-level business deals are conducted, not to mention more pedestrian activities such as lunch. Well can't these persnickety hens go somewhere else? Actually, no. The "ladies' grill" has "a hot plate, some card tables and no bar." That's right. A hot plate.

Now, Arizona, Arizona… who's from Arizona? Oh! John McCain! Well, he's not a member. His son Andrew is, and so is Alice Cooper. (Kids, Alice Cooper is this rock star-type guy who used to really upset people because his act featured images of death and stuff. Yeah, we were pretty silly back then. Check out his Muppet Show episode, it's a lot of fun. And for those of you who remember Alice Cooper, yes. He's now a member of a country club that doesn't let women eat with men.)

This issue came to a head when Barbara Van Sittert and her husband Logan "appealed to the board of the club" to change the rules so they could have breakfast together. When they were told to stuff it, they went to the Attorney General's office, which recently issued an "advisory legal opinion that the club needed to comply with the state's antidiscrimination laws." That doesn't mean anything yet; the club has 30 days to try and settle the matter before the AG gets all legal on them.

So remember guys. If women want to do something you don't want them to do, whip it out and pee on their lawn. That'll show 'em.

image: progressivemajoritywisconsin.org

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Greenhouse: Mean, Green, and Clean

Amy Kuras — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:03:00 GMT

For the first time since our little guy was born 11 weeks ago, we're havin' ourselves a party this weekend. A not-so-big one, and mostly family, but involving people who are Not Us coming over to our house.
And that means cleaning. Real cleaning, beyond the daily food gunk removal and periodic slapdash vacuuming of pet hair off floors and bathroom scrubbing we've been doing just to keep the place from being condemned. I hate cleaning, I mean like really loathe it with every fiber of my being to the point just about the only thing I can think of when I am cleaning is how much I hate cleaning.
So I am a sucker for tips to make it easier, which is at odds with my desire to be more environmentally responsible. Seems like the more toxic something is, the better it works.
Here are a couple of things that have come into the Strollerderby Command Center lately that I thought were interesting:

How to make your own laundry soap. Mod Cottage, which I've never seen before and is so ultra cool, has a whole category on "green-ish" living. Cheap – less than half the cost per load of commercially available stuff – and earth-friendly. The same post has a recipe for laundry rinse. None of the people in my house can use any commercially scented products because our skin will go insane, and I miss nice-smelling clothes, so I may give this a shot. And laundry is the only houseworky task I kind of enjoy, so hurray.

Howotodothings.com's Green Living Guide. This site needs some major copy editing, but some of the tips are cool (use lemons for cleaning!) or just plain intriguing (use urine as fertilizer! — and no, I could not bring myself to click the link. GAH.)

Wish me luck, peeps, and any advice on getting it done fast and greenly are appreciated.

Top 7 Most Essential Products for Parents Who are Scared of the World

Adrienne Martini — Mon, 05 May 2008 14:00:00 GMT

Money may not buy love, but it can certainly buy safety and cleanliness.

1) If your biggest fear is getting a face full of urine, Whizz Kid Wee Blocks are the modern day parent's Pee Pee Tee Pees.

2) Terrified that your toddler might choke on a piece of fruit? Don't hack it into small pieces! Just wrap it in a mesh feeder. Because apple and fabric is the next chocolate and peanut butter.

3) If a dirty dress is your personal nightmare, pick up a few motorized ice cream cones. (Two AA batteries are not included.)

4) Baby's knees are in danger! Get her a pair of baby knee pads, which will keep her safe during all of her crawling adventures.

5) Protect your toddler's noggin with the Bumper Bonnet (pictured)! Sadly, we're out of the giant rolls of Baby Bubble Wrap (TM).

6) Do you have a fast eater? Does she keep burning her mouth on hot mac 'n' cheese? Don't wait an extra five minutes to serve her, just get a Mac and Cool.

7) GERMS! Especially PUBLIC POTTY GERMS! Don't stop to wash your hands, just wear Potty Mitts! Or the GERMS will GET YOU!

Photo credit: leapsandbounds.com

BioUPgrade: Pee-soaked Disposables as Fertilizer?

Patti — Sat, 19 May 2007 13:27:00 GMT

I'm not entirely sure what to say about this concept, introduced by Dutch design firm Qenep in the new book SuperUse. Basically, those little absorbent gel beads in disposable diapers can, once saturated, be repurposed as plant fertilizer. I can only assume, based on my personal observation, that ordinary lawn grass doesn't benefit from the high dose of nitrogen like other plants might. Please don't ask me for details.

The idea of using nitrogen-rich urine as a fertilizer isn't totally off the wall, there's a ton of information out there about it. It's interesting, and I'm almost sorry that we're about to say goodbye to diapers forever around here, because we're big gardeners. Incidentally, if you use washable menstrual pads you can also soak them, then use the nutrient-rich soaking water on your plants. And now nobody's ever going to eat anything out of my garden, are they?

After hearing about the downside of recycling disposable diapers outright, a concept that's been tested in a few areas, it does seem like there might be some possibilities here. But in a country that can barely handle the idea of babies breastfeeding in public, I seriously doubt it's going to take off.

(via Daddytypes)