Strollerderby : vampires

Morning News -- Layoffs and Vampires Edition

Brett Singer — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Friday, Friday, Friday! Let's get to it, people.

"Obama to Set Benchmarks in Fight Against Militants." So sayeth the New York Times. What's that conversation like? "Have we found Osama Bin Laden? No? Okay, what else you got?" Another headline from the Times: "Pakistani and Afghan Taliban Unify in Face of U.S. Influx." Oh goody. Sounds fun. Not.

Here in North America, it's layoffs, layoffs and more layoffs -- Google (200 people laid off), the New York Times (100 people laid off and most remaining employees taking a 5 percent pay cut), and the Canadian Broadcasting Company (800 jobs cut, hoping to sell some assets). Google? Really? That's not good.

Speaking of Canada ("C'mon, say 'about' one more time. Please?"), Garth Drabinsky was finally found guilty. Drabinsky was the head of Livent, the producer of the Broadway shows 'Ragtime' and 'Kiss of the Spider Woman.' I admit that I was somewhat giddy to read news of Drabinsky's legal demise; I used to work in theater and was fascinated by the brazen way he left the United States to avoid prosecution. Apparently Garth and his co-hort Myron Gottlieb pulled a Max Bialystock and kept two sets of books -- one fiction, one non. What I've never completely understood about schemes like this is why they keep them both. Wouldn't it make more sense to only keep the fake books? I don't want to give anyone ideas or anything. No word on whether or not Garth is wearing a cardboard belt. (I hope someone gets that reference.) Amazingly, Garth has been appearing on a Canadian reality show called "Triple Sensation" where he and some other people "look for young stars who can sing, act and dance." But not add. That's not needed. Despite Garth's conviction, there will be a season 2. I might need to find that show. (If you want to know the whole saga of Garth, click here.)

If you live in New York and ride public transportation, prepare to pay more. The MTA voted for a big fare increase and cuts in service. Hey, at least it's green.

Speaking of New York, Mayor Michael Bloomberg has resorted to quoting Popeye the Sailor. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

By the way, if anyone didn't know what I meant when I referred to funny car radio ads, here's an example. Except that this ad is for church. "Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!" Seriously. Check it out. Consider this your "Moment of Zen", Daily Show style.

And speaking of Comedy Central: I like Stephen Colbert, but naming a space station after him is stupid. The faux-conservative's fans "stuffed the virtual ballot box with 230,539 write-in votes, overriding the four official choices NASA offered," according to Wired.com. NASA can change their mind, but why did they put themselves in this position? Not exactly rocket scientists over there, are they? Oh. Oh! Never mind.

Finally, a fun little item from Gawker. Students at the Boston Latin School have been spreading rumors that the prestigious institute of pre-higher learning is infested with vampires. According to MTV.com, "The headmaster [had become] concerned that some students' safety might be jeopardized, particularly if they were accused of being members of the undead." (Maybe private school doesn't always offer the best education.) Police were called. Parents were alarmed. But school officials promised that it's not true. Then they turned into bats and flew away. (Note: They didn't really turn into bats. Although the rest of the story, as far as I know, is true.)

Thanks for joining me on Morning News the past two weeks. I'll be handing things back over to Madeline, but will continue to do a daily round-up of newsy goodness at DaddyTips.com. Have a great weekend, don't take any wooden nickels.

Image: SXC

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A Twilight Tutorial for Moms (and Dads)

JeanneSager — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:33:00 GMT

If you see teenage girls running crazed through the mall today, step aside. If you're between them and their Twilight fix, they just might bite. I can't say I'd blame them.

Until recently, I thought I was all alone in the uber-dorky world of the over-16 Twilight obsession. Thankfully, our own Jen Chaney set me straight. There's a whole group of us out there - the Twilight Moms.

Most of us picked up the first vampire book as a means of escape. In today's economy, who doesn't need one of those? In my case, I hit up the "also recommended" list over at Amazon, then plugged Twilight into my library's inter-library loan system. I had no idea what was in store.

The short story? A girl gets sent to live with her dad in a small town in the rainy northwest. Bella Swan is cranky (wouldn't you be?) until she walks into school and sees Edward Cullen, the dreamboat she'll later learn is a vampire who has vowed off human blood. Along with the rest of his family, he sates himself on animal flesh so he can peaceably coexist with humankind. But coexisting with humans, attending high school with them, is not dating them. And that's what Edward Cullen wants with every inch of his being.

It is total schlock. It's sappy. It's ridiculous. And it is absolutely intoxicating.

I can't tell you one single reason why I am obsessed with Twilight. In my sane mom brain, I find the idea of a teenage girl dropping everything in her world for a sexy guy absolute abhorrent. I hate the idea of a girl putting herself in danger for a guy. But I'm all for a little mindless entertainment, and Stephenie Meyer is a talented author. She makes a teenage love story entertaining to the romantic in all of us. She weaves a story that makes moms forget the lock they'd put on their daughter's bedroom door AND windows if she was Bella Swan. She makes us wish our partners/husbands could glitter (sorry, you'll have to watch the movie - or better yet, read the books - for that one).

A mom herself, and a Mormon to boot, Meyer walks a careful line in the books. She's managed to land a loyal teen fan base without pre-marital sex or gratuitous cursing. Besides the taste for blood and a lead foot in the family Volvo, the vampires are veritable pillars of society.They're books a moms can feel comfortable buying for her daughter - if only because they can sneak it of her room for a late night read.

Image: StephenieMeyer.com

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Five Reasons Why You Might Wish You Were Stephenie Meyer

Jen Chaney — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:20:00 GMT

She is the author of the enormously popular "Twilight" series, those books about teen vampires that all the young girls are screaming about at your local Borders. The final installment in the saga, "Breaking Dawn," sold 1.3 million copies last Saturday alone. (It's not just tween girls screaming either; check out the Twilight Moms site if you don't believe me.)

In other words, Stephenie Meyer is enormously successful, and she's achieving major publishing success while being a mother to three young boys. If you're a mom, you may find yourself wishing you had this woman's life. If you don't envy her yet, here are five reasons why you might:

1. While acting as a stay-at-home mom to her three sons, Meyer wrote her first book, "Twilight," in three months. Three months after that, she snagged $750,000 for a three-book deal. Personally, it takes me three months to get up the gumption to clean the bathroom sink.

2. Meyer had no writing experience when she sat down to pen that novel. Her inspiration? A detailed dream about two young lovers she had one night. See, I never dream stuff that can turn into a book deal. I just dream about offending Matt Damon by accident. (Long story, but let's just say that now I can't watch any of the Jason Bourne movies without feeling irrationally embarrassed.)

3. The millionaire author didn't have to relocate because of her newfound glory. She still lives in Cave Creek, Ariz., and -- wait for this gem -- her husband has now become a stay-at-home dad. They clearly don't need two incomes since mama brings home the bacon, fries it up in a pan and serves it with a tall glass of vampire blood.

4. Since the first "Twilight" book is hitting the big screen this December, Meyer gets to hang out with movie stars. For that matter, she's treated like a star herself. Some fans of the novels are foaming-at-the-mouth rabid and go bazonkers at the sight of her. Still, I assume she doesn't get accosted on the way to, say, Whole Foods because her face isn't recognizable on a Brangelina level. That's fame at its most ideal, really.

5. If Meyer has any pressing problems right now, one would assume that fear of a potential career downfall is one of them. But she's not even concerned about that. She told a reporter for CBS Sunday Morning: "My life wasn't bad to begin with. It was already good. So if everything goes away tomorrow and no one ever picks up another one of my books and no other movies are made and I just stay in my house, I'm gonna be OK with that." Whatever you might think of Meyer's writing or success or vampires, you have to admire that kind of attitude.