Strollerderby : video

Morning News - GOP Calls Sotomayor Racist

Brett Singer — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 13:00:00 GMT

The Republican/Conservative Hive Mind Coalition has decided how to attack Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor. What is it? Drum roll, please... She's a racist! This comment from Rush Limbaugh is... well, you decide: "Limbaugh called the president 'the greatest living example of a reverse racist,' and said that he has picked another for the Supreme Court vacancy of retiring Justice David Souter. Limbaugh later equated Sotomayor to former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke." David Duke? Huh? The comment Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich and Hive Mind members are clinging to is one that Sotomayor made at a Duke Law School symposium in 2001: "a wise Latina woman would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life."

I haven't read much about Judge Sotomayor, but I think the GOP Hive Mind is grasping at straws by clinging to one quote that she made. How difficult would it be to review cases that were before her while she served as a judge, and to talk about those? I've said plenty of things that I wouldn't want thrown back at me if I were up for an important post. (Supreme Court seems unlikely since I don't have a law degree, but maybe I could be the head of the Department of Video Games and Comic Books.) Also, as a white man who grew up in the Bronx and worked for two years at a job where there were many Latina women, I can honestly say that a great many of them reached better conclusions than I did. So there.

Speaking of the GOP, Mitt Romney seems to think he's still running for President. He's mad at President Obama for the way he's handling our foreign policy. (Grrr... Mitt is angry... Grrrr...) I love how it's OK for people to criticize the President when said President is a Democrat. Remember how we were all supposed to support President Bush because we were a nation at war? That attacking the Commander-in-Chief of the United States could be damaging to troop morale, and make us look bad in the eyes of foreign leaders? I guess that doesn't matter anymore.

One more political item -- Dick Cheney (aside: if my name were "Richard" I wouldn't use "Dick" as my nickname) admitted that there was "no link" between Saddam Hussein and the September 11th attacks. But he still thinks we did the right thing by marching into Iraq. He, too, took issue with President Obama's policies. I'm not 100% positive about this, but didn't various Bush administration officials and the Republican/Conservative Hive Mind spend a lot of time and energy telling the public that Saddam Hussein was, in fact, involved in the September 11th attacks? If so, what is Cheney saying now -- sorry, my bad?

On to less important matters. Susan Boyle checked into the hospital after losing "Britain's Got Talent." She is said to be "suffering from exhaustion," which I think officially makes her a real celebrity, since I have never heard of anyone other than a celebrity checking into a hospital because they were tired. (I know, that's reductionist, and an over-simplification, and probably other words that basically mean the same thing as those two. Bear with me, I'm exhausted.) The funny thing about Susan Boyle? She didn't "lose." She came in second. She was a complete unknown and now she's famous enough to check into a hospital for exhaustion without being laughed at. She will certainly have some sort of career in the entertainment business if she wants to. How is that "losing"? A year from now, let's see who has had a better career -- Susan Boyle or the dance troupe Diversity. My money's on Boyle.

OK, one more serious thing: a federal judge has ruled that "Guantanamo evidence must be made public." This is "the unclassified evidence that it says justifies the continued imprisonment of more than 100 Guantanamo Bay prisoners." So, you know. So there.

Here's a headline you don't like to see: "Federal Reserve puzzled by yield curve steepening." It's one thing if I'm puzzled by financial matters facing our nation. But the Federal Reserve? They shouldn't be puzzled. They should know stuff. Lots of stuff.

Finally, something silly and utterly unimportant. Kathy Griffin says that Eminem walking out of the MTV Movie Awards was "a stunt." What happened? Sasha Baron Cohen, aka Bruno, stuck his heinie in the rapper's face.

Here's what happened:

And here's what Kathy Griffin thinks of it:

See? Now you know everything you need to know to start your day. Enjoy!

Image: Latina.com

Dad Charges Daughter With Grand Theft Auto

Morning News - Mike Tyson's Daughter Injured

13 Year Old Alfie Definitely Not A Dad

Morning News - Talk Show Host Waterboarded

Brett Singer — Mon, 25 May 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Sean Hannity said he would do it but hasn't made good on that pledge. So Erich “Mancow” Muller stepped up and got the job done. Here's a video, which is not safe for work or anyone who feels that watching a wildly unpopular talk show host get waterboarded is an insult to their intelligence.

I've said this before, but it bears repeating. The great thing about Republicans these days is that they are so tolerant. Case in point: Colin Powell, who felt the need to go on CBS' "Face The Nation" and tell everyone that yes, he is still a Republican. This depiste the fact that Dick Cheney recent said "My take on it was Colin had already left the party. I didn't know he was still a Republican." And the lovely Mr. Rush Limbaugh, who says he would like the former Secretary of State to "close the loop and become a Democrat." An article from the AFP wonders if all of this "our way or the highway" stuff is going to be a turn off to anyone who might, gawd forbid, disagree with the Cheney/Limbaugh hive mind. Gee, ya think? On a personal note (shocking, I know) I would genuinely like to have a civil discussion with a person of the Republican persuasion so I can find out what the appeal is. Seriously. I know people who lean to the right politically and yet aren't braying maniacs like Limbaugh or "Mancow". So far I haven't worked up enough nerve to discuss politics with any of them. If someone wants to leave a comment about why they are a Republican, please do so. Understand that I'm not saying that all Republicans are kooks, just that the only ones that we hear from in the media seem to be on the kooky side.

Staying with politics for a moment, President Barack Obama is expected to announce his pick for the Supreme Court this week. I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that unless he chooses, say, Dick Cheney, most Republican politicians will not be pleased with his choice. But hey, ya never know. I've been wrong before. (Like the time I said, "Hairspray" as a musical? No one wants to see that. Or when I suggested that Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman make a little film called "Ishtar." Only one of those statements is true. Guess which one!)

Moving on to the world of entertainment, Susan Boyle moved on in the "Britain's Got Talent" contest. She sang "Memory" from "Cats." Daring choice. (Meow.) Here's a video, which is safe for work but not safe for those who find the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber to be only slightly more pleasurable than fingernails on a chalkboard:

Speaking on TV talent contests, Queen might have a job for "American Idol" runner-up Adam Lambert. They'd like him to do their laundry. Kidding! He would be the lead singer. Everyone said he (Adam) was just like Freddie Mercury, right?

In movie news, "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian" beat out "Terminator Salvation" by about $10 million. When asked for a comment, Christian Bale said, "OHHH! GOOD FOR YOU!"

Last, but not least, today is Memorial Day. I couldn't find one story that I thought was "the one" to link to, so here's a bunch of them from Google News.

Women Switched at Birth Find Out 56 Years Later

More Babies Named After Sports Figure than President

13 Year Old Alfie Definitely Not A Dad

Adopted Brother Was Living Across The Street

Brett Singer — Fri, 22 May 2009 19:30:00 GMT

This is nice. And bizarre. But still nice.

Joellen Cottrell gave birth at the tender of 16. She gave the child up for adoption. Later, Joellen had a daughter, Candace Eloph, and told her that somewhere out there, she had a half-brother.

30 years later, Candace moves to Shreveport, Louisiana. Some guy named Jamie Wheat lives across the street. One day they're chatting, and find out that Jamie was adopted. And that Candace's mother gave someone up for adoption. They compare notes. Lots of coincidences.

Except that they weren't coincidences. Turns out Jamie Wheat was Joellen Cottrell's biological son.

To make sure, Joellen and Jamie took DNA tests, which showed a 99.995% chance that they were related. Bingo. CNN has video of the family opening the envelope:

Embedded video from CNN Video

If the video won't play, click here.

What are the odds? They have to be astronomical, right? It certainly beats the switched at birth story.

Side note: on today's Babble Talk Radio, Shannon gave us a lot to think about regarding adoption. Click here to listen.

Source: CNN

Babble Talk Radio - Friday May 22 - Listen Here

Third Grader Expelled Because He Made A Hit List

Boy Scouts Say Your Kid is Too Fat

More Babies Named After Sports Figure than President

Poolside Breastfeeding Violates No Food Rule

13 Year Old Alfie Definitely Not A Dad

Classic Mother Songs For Mother's Day

Giant Gummy Bear On A Stick

Brett Singer — Mon, 18 May 2009 18:00:00 GMT

Babble's Food Week has passed but I couldn't resist this one.

It is indeed a "Giant Gummy Bear ... on a Stick. Nearly 90 times larger than a standard gummy bear." 88 times larger, to be precise. Which means that each Giant Gummy Bear is the same as 88 regular gummy bears. Which is a lot of candy. Available in blue, green, orange or red.

Now I love candy. But looking at this photo makes me a little sick to my stomach. That's an enormous pile of corn syrup and carnuba wax. (The folks at Vat 19 posted this information after people requested it. Because you need to know if the giant Gummy Bear on a Stick is healthy or not.) I think this might even make my kids gag, although I'm not sure. One of them is currently eating Ring Pops, which are pretty vile. But they aren't anywhere near this large.

Luckily the company seems to have a sense of humor about their gummy endeavors. Here's a video promoting the product:

Would you eat this? Or let your kids eat it?

Source: Vat 19

Baby Asleep On Dad's Head

Children's Books You Will Never Read

Japanese Potty Training Video

Hot Dogs With Spaghetti Inside - What's NOT For Dinner

Baby Asleep On Dad's Head

Brett Singer — Sun, 17 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

This 12-second video is one of those things that I think only a parent could appreciate.

MomLogic says that the "best line ever uttered by a dad" is "I felt cold drool on my head." (I thought it was "WOW! THAT DIAPER SMELLS LIKE CHERNOBYL!")

I know that I used to feel that baby drool was gross. Until I experienced my own kids' drool. It's still a little gross, especially when it dries. But somehow, when it's drool that fell from the mouth of your very baby, it's not so bad.

Source: MomLogic

A Really Graphic Homebirth

10 Year Old Burned By Tanning Bed

Not Every Kid With a Mother Has a "Mommy"

Hey Look! Mom Is On The Net!

Brett Singer — Sat, 16 May 2009 16:00:00 GMT

In various outlets (OK, mostly just VH1) people express their nostalgia for the 90's.

But music and movies aren't the only thing from the Whatever Decade (I just made that up) to get all misty-eyed about. There's also the commercials. Like this one.

It's not clear what is being advertised. But one thing's for sure -- these moms know all about technology!

You have to hang in there until the end of the video, when some random long-haired guy arrives. Just trust me on this one.

Source: Buzzfeed Via Everything Is Terrible (Or maybe it's the other way around. I get confused by all this WWW Dot Com Stuff.)

A Really Graphic Homebirth

We're Not Judging You, Pinky Swear

Did This Woman Commit Suicide Because She Couldn't Breastfeed?

10 Year Old Burned By Tanning Bed

SNL Mother's Day Skits

Brett Singer — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:00:00 GMT

If you thought the infamous "D*ck In A Box" would be hard to beat (no pun intended), check out this "Digital Short" from Saturday Night Live this week.

Here is... Mother Lover.

Susan Sarandon and Patricia Clarkson do a fine job as the moms who, as the song says, get a "mother's night" to go with their Mother's Day.

Less funny, but not entirely without laughs, is the Mom Translator.

I guess this is for mothers who are less hip than mine. But come on. Who doesn't know who Keanu Reaves is? They should have gone with more lame celebrities that are barely famous, like Lauren Conrad. (Although I think SNL needs to do a sketch called "Breakdance Mountain.")

Image: YouTube

Hey Look! Mom Is On The Net!

OctoMom's Kid - Bite Mark And Black Eye

Classic Mother Songs For Mother's Day

FEMA Coloring Book Features 9/11 Image

Required Viewing for All Mothers

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Sun, 10 May 2009 18:43:00 GMT

MomsRising has found a creative, funny way to put the spirit of activism back into Mother’s Day, which was originally about much more than Hallmark cards and jewelry. When Julia Ward Howe issued the Mother’s Day Proclamation in 1870, her goal was to unite women in fighting for peace and social justice.

With its antiwar message, Howe's proclamation poignantly recognizes the political and societal implications of the mother-child bond:

Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience.
We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.

Well, the good folks at MomsRising have created a viral video that will remind you of this original spirit of Mother's Day with a much lighter touch—I guarantee you will laugh out loud. Watch it once for the dialogue, and watch it again to read the news ticker tape at the bottom of the screen. Then personalize it and send it to everyone mother you know. Hell, send it to yourself.

Photo: Ecochild

Nine Year Olds Performing Journey Song

Brett Singer — Sun, 03 May 2009 17:00:00 GMT

You know Journey? Steve Perry? The song "Separate Ways"?

Ever wondered what it would sound like if it were performed by a band made up of 9-year-olds?

Kids Band Playing Journey @ Yahoo! Video

Did it sound like that? Yeah, I wouldn't have guessed it would sound any good, either.

The band is called Recess. They're from Cleveland.

Also, to be fair, they aren't all 9. The singer, Vincent Fondale, is. The rest of the group is Alex Raz on guitar (11), Joey Sampson on drums (9), Alexis Shook on bass (12), and Anthony Fondale on keyboards (13). I guess that means the keyboard player has to back up his younger brother. Which could sort of suck for him. But maybe he's more mature than I am.

They aren't exactly neophytes, either. Vincent has his own web site, and Alex has a MySpace page. Still, they've got talent.

Toddler Jail Break

Hot Dogs With Spaghetti Inside - What's NOT For Dinner

10 Year Old Author Alec Greven Is Back

Brett Singer — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:30:00 GMT

Remember Alec Greven? He's the kid who wrote How To Talk To Girls last year. This time when I say "kid", I don't mean someone under 25. I mean kid. Because he's 10 years old.

Now Alec has written two more books. How to Talk to Moms and How to Talk to Dads.

In this interview with The Today Show, the young Mr. Greven tells us that "Dad is more lenient." There is an "80% chance that dad will say yes to little stuff when mom might say no."

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

What else?

"Moms love hugs and nice notes." They especially like it when you "admit [that] you make a mistake [and] write a note that says I'm sorry." Helping out around the house is also a way to make mom happy.

His advice about dads could be taken the wrong way. Alec says that "dads have a good side and a bad side," and that "staying on dad's good side depends on your mood and attitude...If you have good behavior, you stay on dad's good side." This sounds a little bit like what an abused child might say on an episode of "Law & Order." Not saying there's anything weird going on, but it sounded funny to me. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Examples of "bad behavior" that will get you on dad's "bad side" include: "tattletaling" on dad to mom (Alec says that he caught dad drinking out of the milk carton, told mom, and dad was not pleased), and also "fighting with your brother."

For their part, "moms don't like it when you bring snakes and spiders into the house." Alec says that he doesn't do this sort of thing, but his brother (the one he fights with, I suppose) does; he says that his mother often finds "rolly pollys" in his brother's coat pocket. (I had to look up what rolly-pollys are, apparently they're pill bugs. My wife and I would be equally annoyed if either kid brought those into our house.)

Under intense questioning from Matt Lauer and Meredith Viera, Alec admits that his advice is based on personal experience, but he did do some research because "parents have their own little tricks and stuff so I had to make sure other families did it to."

On the one hand, I'm happy for the kid. He seems nice enough, and says that he has donated some of the money he's earned to a cancer charity. He also started a school writing contest, and hopes that he has inspired a lot of other kids to write. "Without writers we can't have books to read," he says. "Without books, we can't learn."

Alec isn't resting on his laurels. For the holidays, he will give us "How To Talk To Santa," and he might do "How To Talk To Teachers."

On the other hand, WHERE'S MY BOOK DEAL? Or more to the point, why aren't my children writing books, earning money so I can relax? Huh? HUH?

OK, I think I'm mostly happy for him. Although I may have a little chat with my kids tonight. Perhaps they'd like to pen "How To Talk -- All The Time." Could be a bestseller.

Source: MSNBC (click the link if the embedded video doesn't work), Amazon.com

Image: Nerve.com

Terrible Ideas, Cookbook Edition

Japanese Potty Training Video

A Dad's Point of View: Am I Selfish? Or Just a Jerk?

What Should A Man Do While A Woman Breastfeeds

Japanese Potty Training Video

Brett Singer — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 14:00:00 GMT

I was working on a piece about potty training. So I Googled it. This video is one of the first few hits.

You need to watch the whole thing. Trust me. I guess it's safe for work. There's no language issue, unless your co-workers speak Japanese. I have no idea what anyone is saying. The visuals aren't racy, although there is a smiling toilet. Just watch it, OK?

What's great about this -- apart from it's general overall greatness -- is that it hits all of the same points as a "normal" potty training video. Kid. Parents. Kid has to pee. Kid learns to use the potty. Kid learns to see bye bye to his pee. Kid has to poop. Kid learns to poop in the potty. Kid gets underwear. Parents are proud. Kid is proud. And... scene.

Of course, Potty Time With Bear doesn't show the pee moving through the body. Or the poop. Both bits of human waste product seem happy that they are being eliminated and flushed.

Being a pop-culture maven, I wonder which came first -- this video or Mr. Hanky The Christmas Poo, of South Park fame. But mostly I wonder if any Japanese children have actually watched this training video. And if it worked.

12 Year Old Knocks Em Dead On Britain's Got Talent

UPDATE: Jamie Foxx Apologizes To Miley Cyrus

The Funkiest Dancing Kid Ever – Part 2

The Funkiest Dancing Kid Ever – Part 1

Fox News Hates Kids In Political Videos Except When They Don't

Brett Singer — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

Remember the "Bye Bye Bush" video? Remember Fox News' pugnacious pundit Bill O'Reilly's reaction to it?

If not, here it is:

O'Reilly said that it was "wrong" to for little kids to be "used like that." Guest pundit Amanda Carpenter said that the video was "another example of people using children for political purposes… who knows what this is going to do to her future? She doesn't know what she's saying."

So what will Carpenter and O'Reilly have to say about this video? (If the embedded video doesn't work, click here.

Well, nothing. Why not? Because it aired on "Your World With Neil Cavuto." Which is on the Fox News Channel. And the views that these children are being "used" to espouse are on the same side as Bill's. The right-wing side. Which makes "using children" OK.

I personally don't make videos of my kids and put them online for everyone to see. But if someone does, that's their business. That said, my feelings about whether or not kids should appear in videos on TV or online is not based on the nature of the political view being expressed.

What's really galling is the hypocrisy. On my post about Bill's reaction to "Bye Bye Bush", a commenter going by the handle "Huh?" wrote "[Will Ferrell's] Landlord was for laughs, this is openly bashing someone. Jeeze!" Does that mean the Cavuto video is also "for laughs"? I thought Fox News Channel was supposed to be a news channel. (Hence the name.)

Of course that isn't what it means at all. It means that it's fine to "use" kids to spout a political point of view, as long as that point of view is right. And by right, I mean right-wing. Very fair and balanced.

Source: Fox News

UPDATE: Jamie Foxx Apologizes To Miley Cyrus

Kids Don't Pay Taxes: Get Them Out of Tea Parties

Did Sarah Palin Know That Bristol Was Sleeping With Levi?

Morning News: D.C.'s Lovin' Gay Families

12 Year Old Knocks Em Dead On Britain's Got Talent

Brett Singer — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 18:30:00 GMT

Allow me to lapse into nitwit entertainment reporter speak for a moment:

Move over Susan Boyle! That's right, there's a new kid on Britain's Got Talent. And when I say kid – I really mean it. Shaheen Jafargholi is only 12 years old. But his performance of Michael Jackson's "Who's Loving You" knocked Simon's socks off.

"This is how one song can change your life," the typically cantankerous Cowell told the little Welsh boy. "And this may be the start of something special for you, young man."

OK, I'm back now. Wasn't that fun? If I looked like that guy from Sugar Ray, I could've been an on-camera entertainment nudnik. Ah well.

For those who don't know (or care), Susan Boyle was the woman who sang the heck out of a song from "Les Miserables" on Britain's Got Talent, which is basically American Idol but they call elevators "lifts" and stuff like that. The show features talents other than singing, but its the singing that seems to capture the most attention. (Personally I prefer Darth Jackson, a guy who moonwalks like Michael Jackson while dressed as Darth Vader. A somewhat limiting act, I suppose.)

So Shaheen is the latest to get the Brits all hopped up. Unlike Susan Boyle, he's had stage experience; according to WalesOnline, the boy "has been singing since the age of five and played a young Michael Jackson in stage musical Thriller Live. Appeared alongside Gary Lineker in a Walkers advert and had bit parts in Casualty and Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood." (For the record, the song that Shaheen sang was written by Smokey Robinson and was performed by the Jackson 5. It's hard to be specific when using nitwit entertainment reporter speak.)

Susan Boyle's youtube video has been viewed over 30 million times, whereas Shaheen's is still under 500,000. But that could change quickly.

Simon Cowell doesn''t like the embedding of these videos for some reason, so click here to watch Shaheen sing. There is one good moment of semi-drama where Simon stops the kid from singing his first number, something by Amy Winehouse. Then he moves on "Who's Loving You", getting a positive reaction. It does look somewhat staged, although I don't care enough to try and figure out if it is.

My one problem with all of this is that every time a kid has success like this, it inspires hundreds of parents to think that they can do the same with their children. Which they can't. Shaheen can really sing. If your kid can sing too, go for it. If not, don't put them on TV.

Then again, maybe they don't need to be on TV at all, no matter how well they sing.

There's a question: if you had a kid who could sing like this, would you push them to be in show business?

Image/Souce: CNN

UPDATE: Jamie Foxx Apologizes To Miley Cyrus

Does Madonna Spank Her Kids?

Parents Get Eyebrows Waxed For Jonas Brothers Tickets

Finish Line - April Fools And More

Mom or Winning Division I Basketball Coach? You Decide

JeanneSager — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Two guesses how I figured out the the coach of Arizona State University had to be a mother.

Something about the word "poop" just gave it away.

A video of Charli Turner Thorne screaming at her players in the locker room at half-time has gone viral in the past few days. Not because it's strange for a coach to yell or even because this is a female coach.

Her strong words for her players? "You played like poop!" Check it out:

Sorry Coach, even at top volume, it just sounds so, well, eight-year-old.

Which would make sense, as Thorne's son Liam IS eight years old. She also has a ten-year-old and a five-year-old, all boys. And I give her full credit - Thorne coached throughout all three pregnancies. She is also a well-respected coach who brought her team to the elite eight during March Madness this year. By the way, it was the team that ended the ASU run to the championship that had Thorne all riled up - the women were losing (and did lose) to UConn.

Because, apparently, they played like poop!

Hey parents, ever find yourself using your potty mouth outside of the house?

Image: TalkingProud

The Funkiest Dancing Kid Ever – Part 2

Brett Singer — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 17:00:00 GMT

So the funkiest kid ever has a name, or at least a nickname: Mad Skillz Henry, according to Buzzfeed. And he has a second video. Here you go:

It's still good, but what made the first one so special was that he barely seemed to notice that the camera was on him. This time he's clearly mugging. Not to take anything away from Mad Skillz. He still has... well, mad skills. (That's what all the kids are saying these days, right?) But I prefer his early work. You know. Before he sold out.

Source: Buzzfeed

The Funkiest Dancing Kid Ever – Part 1

Little Girl Dancing to "Single Ladies": Disturbing or Adorable?

Peeper Madness - Peeps On The Pole

Baby Born With Two Penises Healthy, Recovering

Dad Accused of Selling Daughter For Beer and Meat

Finish Line - April Fools And More

Family Awarded Millions For Circumcision Mistake

Madonna Adoption Denied, Appeal Filed

First Video of the First Dog at Home

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 18:55:00 GMT

The day a family brings their first dog home is exciting, stressful, and gloriously chaotic. Imagine having that day in front of tons of paparazzi and on live camera.

This--admittedly cameratically imperfect--video shows both the unique oddity of the Obamas' lifestyle, and their ability to be at ease even when the cameras are rolling. And if you thought Sasha and Malia couldn't get any cuter, you clearly haven't seen them playing with a six-month-old Portuguese water dog.

Photo: Newsday

Obama Girls Meet Easter Water Dog

Peeper Madness - Control Your Wii With Peeps

Brett Singer — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 23:00:00 GMT

In a very real way I don't want to think about how this is possible.

Do Peeps contain some substance that acts as a conductor for Bluetooth, the wireless technology in the Wii-motes? If so, could you use a Peep as a cellphone headset? Could a Peep replace your wireless mouse? And if you eat too many, could some nefarious ne'er do well control you? The mind boggles. Or perhaps I've just eaten too many Peeps.

Source: Gizmodo via Buzzfeed

More Peeper Madness

Peeper Madness – Nude Peeps

Peeper Madness - Peeps On The Pole

Peeper Madness - Supeep Court

The Funkiest Dancing Kid Ever – Part 1

Brett Singer — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 18:00:00 GMT

They say little boys can't dance. Well, anyone who says that has never seen this kid.

Come on! How good is he? His sister (I'm assuming that's his sister although I don't know) is relegated to backup duty, which in this case is right. Somebody sign this kid to an exclusive contract, quick.

Source: Buzzfeed

Read more:

Little Girl Dancing to "Single Ladies": Disturbing or Adorable?

Peeper Madness - Peeps On The Pole

Baby Born With Two Penises Healthy, Recovering

Dad Accused of Selling Daughter For Beer and Meat

Finish Line - April Fools And More

Family Awarded Millions For Circumcision Mistake

Madonna Adoption Denied, Appeal Filed

Finish Line - Playmobil Gets Crucified

Brett Singer — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 02:30:00 GMT

Lots going on this week, as always.

Jeanne told us how Playmobil got all up in some priest's grill because he made a religious diaroma with their toys. Does this mean that companies could have sued my friends and I for putting our Tron action figures in the toaster oven?
Madeline politely told the breast pump banning contingent to shove it. That's a huge oversimplification, as well as my personal opinion. Madeline put it much better, so read the whole thing.
Mike told us that if your kids ever sue you because you grounded them, you can, as the song says, blame Canada. That's right -- a 12-year-old girl sued her dad because he wouldn't let her go on a class trip, and she won. Canada, you already gave us Celine Dion --wasn't that torture enough?
Hannah reminds us that the 60's were fun. And by "fun" we mean "incredibly sexist." “Boys can eat. Girls can cook.” Whoo-hoo! Read the whole thing here.
Shannon posts a video of one of the funniest toddlers on YouTube, and uses it as a starting point for a discussion on how kids deal with m-m-m-monsters.
Speaking of video, Cole brought us one that is either disturbing or a great big plate of who cares, depending on your point of view. Me, I'm wondering why the childbirth simulator model is so quiet. Watch it yourself right here.
As for me, it was all Peeps, all the time. Peeper Madness, folks. Catch it.

Don't eat too many jellybeans on Sunday. See you next week.

Read more:

Finish Line - April Fools And More

Peeper Madness - Supeep Court

The Miracle of Mannequin Childbirth - Creepy or Funny

Cole Gamble — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:00:00 GMT

As I wrote this post, watching this video repeatedly, I wondered, “Is this NSFW?” I mean it’s graphic, if you’re a mannequin. I’m so confused. Perhaps together you and I can make sense of this. Please share this with me and help me to understand.

Some Thoughts:

As these Nazis kept forcing the same baby through this poor mannequin’s vagina I screamed at the computer monitor, “Please no more! Can’t you see she’s had enough?!”

Is this video suggesting birth would be easier if we sawed the legs and everything above the waist of a woman? If so, my wife is so not going for that.

I hope to Jehovah these aren’t available to sell for personal use. I never want to find one of these in my son’s closet.

It’s really strange that there’s no sound. Is that to block out the all the disembodied mannequin torso screaming?

I wonder if this video has a blooper reel. You think on one of the takes Gary Coleman’s face popped out? You know that guy needs work.

Finally, I came to peace with this video, recognizing it for the beautiful, natural moment it is.

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Parents Get Eyebrows Waxed For Jonas Brothers Tickets

Brett Singer — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:00:00 GMT

Note to self: if my son ever asks what I will do in order to get him tickets for a concert, the answer is "pay for them, if the price is not too unreasonable."

The correct answer is NOT "have my eyebrows waxed."

Watch this. Not entirely safe for work, since it features EYEBROW WAXING. (Unless you work at a salon, in which case you probably see stuff like this all the time. Except people are paying for the service and they don't expect to get Jonas Brothers tickets.)

The event/stunt/proof of the coming apocalypse was set up by a DJ on radio station Y100 in Miami.

The scarier thing is that this isn't the first time parents have done stupid stuff to get Jonas Brothers tickets for their kids. I guess the shows sell out so getting in requires extraordinary measures.

To all parents who are considering doing something extreme because your kids really really really want to see the Jonas Brothers (or any other concert for that matter) I have a suggestion. Tell them no.

Source: TMZ

Image: Amazon

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Blended Family Works With Therapy

Brett Singer — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:30:00 GMT

Here's the story / of a lovely lady / who was living with three very lovely girls…

And so on. You know it, don't you? If not, here's a refresher:

And here's Jamie Foxx singing it, just because it's funny.

For the Bradys, it looked so easy. Real life is rarely that simple. So Claudia Gryvatz Copquin and her boyfriend Glen Ames decided to move in together, they sought help from a therapist.

In general, I'm a believer in therapy. I find that it helps me, and I've known many people who benefited from talking things over with a professional. But when someone says, "I wish the therapist could move in with us," my eyebrows go up like Mr. Spock when Doctor McCoy says something particularly illogical. (Except that I can't raise just the one brow the way Spock does. Must be a Vulcan thing.)

But things like who sleeps in which bed? That's too much. Seriously, what happened to, "This is what we're doing, deal with it"? If that seems harsh, or unrealistic, OK, maybe. Still, where do you draw the line? Do you call the therapist every time?

Apparently this couple does. In fact /They didn’t commit to living together until receiving a go-ahead from the therapist. “It gave us confidence,” Mr. Ames said./ And Ms. Copquin told the therapist "I wish you could move in with us."

I'm sure the therapist is thrilled. Mo' money! But I think that's too much dependance on outside help. If each person had their own shrink, I might feel differently. I'm not sure why but that seems more productive. If you trek the whole family over to the office whenever there's a fight over the remote control, what kind of life is that?

Source: NY Times

Image: Wikipedia

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Gloria Allred Sits On A Booster Seat

Brett Singer — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 14:00:00 GMT

Reading this headline might cause you to think that we're being mean. Before you darn me to heck, though, consider this -- it's true.

W Magazine developed a fascination with Ms. Allred not dissimilar to our own. A key difference is that W Magazine's office is in the same building as Allred's, so staff members at the mono-syllabic-named mag popped in on a recent press conference she had regarding the OctoMom. (Nadya Suleman, perhaps you've heard of her?)

Anyway, among other amusing observations, the editors noticed that the "small and compact" attorney (their words) was seated on an actual booster seat. This one.

What seems odd to me is why Allred wouldn't just get a phone book, or a more grown-up version of a booster seat. Like maybe a pillow. The W editors wonder if "Maybe it's something she picked up from the Suleman kids?" Either that or product placement. Only time will tell.

Image: WMagazine.com

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Potty Dance? Oh, Please!

Amy Kuras — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:02:00 GMT

Mark it – March 2009 is the month viral video marketing campaigns finally died.

Or deserved to.

Have you seen this Potty Dance commercial, or God forbid has someone who seccretly hates you forwarded the video? Sweet mother of – I mean — I just --- there are no words for the wrongness of this. No words. At all. And I don’t mean wrongness in the funny, “I should SOOOO not be laughing at this but I am” way, but the “Are you KIDDING me? Who thought THIS up? And does Kimberly-Clark distribute crack in the lunchroom because this is the only possible way this ad campaign got approved?” way.

For those of you who have been blessed to not see the ad or the video itself, it urges children to “do the potty dance -- put one hand out, then the other, let them drop (which means grab your crotch) and HULA HOOP!”

Yeah. That annoying thing your kid does when they have to go and have waited too long? That you are trying to discourage them from doing and use their words instead? Now we’re meant to teach them to do it as a cutesy little dance apparently.

And it gets better – there’s Tori Spelling. And a video contest.

The sad thing is, I know there are parents out there giggling and thinking this is adorable – and everybody else on the planet is thinking parents are actually stupid enough to think this thing is cute or funny. Me? I have Pull-Ups in my house. This not only makes me want to never buy them again, I want to set the ones I already have afire in protest. It’s a triple threat of insipid, cheesy, and crude.

But can I have whatever the creatives who thought this up are smoking?

Photo: Associated Press