Strollerderby : weird names

Hitler Mom Wants Her Kids Back

Brett Singer — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:45:00 GMT

You know, with a story like this one, you want to give it a somewhat serious treatment. But it's difficult to avoid using "Hitler Kid" and "Hitler Mom", especially when that's what every news outlet leads with. So I'm a sheep. Sorry.

Anyway, the mother of Adolf Hitler Campbell, JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell is defying a judge's order and speaking out about having her children removed by Family Services.

We have a few more details now. A neighbor called Family Services, claiming that the kids were being abused physically, mentally, and emotionally. Proud parents Deborah and Heath Campbell deny it all. They say that they are "not racists," and that they have the right to give their children whatever names they like. The Daily News had the best quote of all: "The parents insist they're not racists and want only to honor the heritage of the Third Reich." Right. It's that whole "trains running on time" thing. That's all they want to remember. Must be railroad enthusiasts. What's the problem?

All kidding aside, I do still have some misgivings here. If the only abuse was the names and the fact that the parents are racists, is that enough of a reason to remove the children from the home? If it is, aren't there a lot of other kids that should also be removed?

On a side note, could the article on MyFoxSpringfield have any more misspellings? Sheesh.

Source: Fox (1, 2)

Image: NY Daily News

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Kid Named Hitler Taken From His Parents By Family Services

Brett Singer — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 16:30:00 GMT

I bet you thought we'd never hear any news about this family again. Or maybe you just hoped you'd never hear from them again. Or maybe that was me. I get us confused sometimes.

Anyway, for reasons that are not being disclosed at this time, 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell was removed from his home by the New Jersey Division of Youth and Family Services. Adolf's sisters, 1-year-old JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell, and the comparatively normal-named 8-month-old Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, were also removed by authorities.

As far as I know, it's unusual for Family Services not to give a reason to the public when kids are taken from their parents. According to the Daily News, "Holland Township police chief David Van Gilson told the site they had not received any reports of abuse or negligence." Which makes this even stranger.

In case you've forgotten, the Campbells' received some fame in December when a store refused to make a cake for little Adolf Hitler. At the time, the father, Heath Campbell, said, "They're just names, you know. Yeah, they (the Nazis) were bad people back then. But my kids are little. They're not going to grow up like that."

The swastikas that decorate the Campbell home, and the fact that they are reported Holocaust deniers, tells a different story. (Post-racial America? Um, I don't think so.)

We don't know the details yet, but the parents were scheduled to attend a hearing on Tuesday to discuss their children which "was apparently postponed", according to the News. So something is definitely going on.

That said, I’m not sure if being a Nazi lunatic is illegal. If it were, wouldn't Hutton (Mel's dad) Gibson be in jail?

UPDATE: Here is a video report via Yahoo! News. Listen to the reporter say the kids' names.

Source: NY Daily News

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Celeb Parents Give Kid Normal Name

Brett Singer — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 14:00:00 GMT

I guess I'm on a "let's point out the other side of things" jag. First it was vaccines. Now let's move on to something significantly less important: the names that celebrity parents bestow upon their offspring.

We make fun of those who name their poor children something bizarre – Bronx Mowgli. Ouch.

In the interest of fair play, let us give props – nay, let us give mad props, as the kids say (do the kids still say that?) – to Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber who named their son Samuel, with a middle name of Kai. Samuel! Didn't these people get the Celebrity Wacko Baby Name Handbook, which clearly stipulates that a child's first name must be utterly bizarre, and the middle name even more so?

Sammy's big sibling is Alexander "Sasha" Pete, which is equally regular, especially if compared to Bronx Mowgli, et al. So there you have it.

In all (semi) seriousness, a kid's name is important. Even if you grow up wealthy and have super-famous parents, at some point you'll have to go out and deal with the rest of the world. And being teased sucks. I also think – and maybe this is unfair – that if a name choice is particularly weird (have I mentioned that I think Bronx Mowgli is, at best, an odd choice?) that means the parents are weird. Does that bear out? Maybe, maybe not. I don't know any parents who chose to name their children something as extreme as Bronx Mowgli.

Actually, I take that back. Without naming names, I do know of a couple of parents who named their kids something weird. And yes – they are strange people. (Anyone who knows me and is reading this – it's not you.) Maybe there is something to this theory after all.

Source: Famecrawler

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Guy Changes Name to Captain Fantastic

Brett Singer — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:30:00 GMT

The Telegraph is reporting that a "teenager" named George Garratt has changed his name to – wait for it – Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. I think "The Flash Combined" is a Jewish name that means, "Please don't hire me for this job."

I'm putting "teenager" in quotes because the guy is nineteen. When did we decide that it was still OK to call nineteen year olds "teenagers"? Is it based on how immature they are?

Anyway, The Nitwit Formerly Known As George Garratt changed his moniker because he, "wanted to be unique." The thing is, Elton John already used the name Captain Fantastic, something the Telegraph article oddly doesn't mention.

The Captain's grandmother isn't speaking to him anymore, which seems a little shortsighted. If there's one thing this kid needs, it's a good talking to.

What would you do if your child came home and said they had changed their name to something dopey like this? Or this?

Source: Telegraph

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Woman changes her name to Cutout Dissection.com

Brett Singer — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 19:00:00 GMT

There are all sorts of stories of parents who name their kids dopey things – Sarah McCain Palin, Miley Ray Cyrus Hannah Montana Lipschutz, etc. – but here is someone who changed her own name to something weird.

The former Jennifer Thornburg -- whose driver's license now reads Dissection.com, Cutout -- wanted to do something to protest animal dissections in schools.

Thornburg – sorry, Dissection.com – is an intern at PETA, or People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. The name is a web site belonging to the animal rights group.

Over at PETA's site, Jennifer – sorry, Cutout – has an amusing anecdote about getting a driver's license with her new name:

What did the DMV say when you got your new license?

It took me two tries to get my license. On the second try, the DMV worker looked very amused and confused, but also looked like she was afraid to ask for an explanation.

And what do the regular people think of her new name? "I normally do have to repeat my name several times when I am introducing myself to someone new…Once they find out what my name is, they want to know more about what the Web site is about." Yes, I'm sure it’s a real conversation starter. Her dad, Duane Thornburg, thinks its fine. No mention of the mom or other relatives.

I know I’m taking a not-that-nice tone here, and I apologize for that. I suppose it’s a fair way to raise awareness for a cause that you believe in, in this case, students dissecting animals. One thing occurs to me, though. It's never somebody who has to work for a living that pulls stunts like this. Although the CNN story says that Cutout "is working in Virginia", she's actually an intern. Which means she's not working, at least not for money. So there's a part of me that wonders if this is just a weird way for her to get attention. (Nerdy aside: technically, the name doesn't really work, since URLs don't have spaces in them. So the name should be cutoutdissection.com, not Cutout Dissection.com. Just one name. Like Prince. Or Sting. Or Cher.)

To be fair, Ms. Dissection.com has been against dissection since her name was still Jennifer; a few years ago she convinced her school to stop dissecting dead animals in science classes, according to PETA. (Now they only dissect them during Algebra! No they don't, that's a bad joke, I'm sorry.) So she has the courage of her convictions. But maybe there are better ways to do good in the world? Maybe it's hard for me to take this too seriously when the world economy is collapsing and the United States is in the midst of an increasingly ugly Presidential campaign. I'm not saying distractions are a bad thing (LOOK! PICTURES OF CUTE THINGS!), but Cutout is kidding herself a little bit if she thinks changing her name is going to make a tremendous difference. Unless I’m wrong, of course. What do you think?

Source: CNN, Source/image: PETA

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Nine-Year-Old Wins Fight To Change Weird Name

Amy S.F. Lutz — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 17:30:00 GMT

I just don't get those parents who give their kids wack-a-doodle names. I mean, do they not care at all about their kids being mercilessly teased their entire lives? Or are they just so determined to be different they don't care about the consequences?

A New Zealand family court judge recently expressed concern about some of the bizarre names he's seen recently: twins named Benson and Hedges, after the cigarette brand; a child named "Number 16 Bus Shelter" (boy? girl? who knows?). But those are pretty tame compared to the nine-year-old girl the judge decided to make a ward of the court yesterday so she could get rid of her super-crazy name: Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii.

Apparently, Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii is so ashamed of her name that she goes by the letter K. Now that she's free from her parents' control, maybe she'll change her name to Kay - it's short, simple, and everyone can spell it.

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