Half the Baby Stuff You Get is Useless Crap

Kelly Mills — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 17:06:00 GMT

One of the most stunning things about new babies, aside from the whole no-sleep, breastfeeding-hurts, my-god-my-hormones, boy-is-this-thing-needy shockers, is the vast amount of gear you end up with. It's a miracle the human race survived this long without special expandable strollers with cupholders and seats that vibrate like a magic fingers bed in a cheap motel. In an effort to help you whittle down that baby baggage, this blog compiled a list of gadgets you will probably not need. We, of course, can think of a couple more.

I'd say you can probably skip the bassinet (babies like to worm their way into your bed) and I know many people who have done without a changing table. You probably don't need a fancy baby first aid kit, because let's face it, if your baby so much as looks at you funny you'll be heading over to children's hospital at 80 miles an hour. Maybe you can skip half those toys, since your child is gonna find joy in things like your keys and wooden spoons and anything that you didn't buy specifically for them and would prefer they not play with. Also, sometimes your partner will seem kind of useless as well.

We did hear calls from some of our comrades to skip the baby altogether (cuz newborns are laaaazy) but we know if you are reading this, it's probably too late to turn back, so you may as well order your new hoo hoo and whatever the non-birthing partners need post-birth (blow-up doll?) Our commenters weighed in a while back on this too (bathtub: pro or con? Sling? Hello?) I have to tell you that a new dad friend of mine was horrified at the wipe warmer thing, and flat-out refused to accept one, saying, "No son of mine will ever use warmed wipes." To each his own.

Baby Gadgets: Do Parents NEED Half This Crap?!

thezeroboss — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 20:03:00 GMT

It's open mic time here at Strollerderby, folks. Tell us: what's the most useless baby gadget or gift you've ever received? (Come on, don't be shy; we promise you that your mother-in-law isn't reading.) Barring that, what's the most extravagant and pointless baby purchase you've ever made?

If you can't think of any, then revel in your superiority by reading this article from the Associated Press about useless baby crap. The targets of the AP's ire include: Pee-Pee Teepees (a pointed Dixie cup for catching runaway squirts during changes); wipe warmers (which National Review writer Jay Gress actually accuses of destroying Western civilization!); bottle warmers (which aren't destroying Western civilization - just your bank account); and microwave steam sterilizers (which is something I didn't even know I didn't need).

I guess we should count ourselves frugal; we've never squandered large sums on pointless merchandise. Well, except condoms. A lot of good those did.

Strollerderby : wipe warmers

Half the Baby Stuff You Get is Useless Crap

Baby Gadgets: Do Parents NEED Half This Crap?!