Strollerderby : work and parenting

News Anchor Interviews Senator Webb While Holding Baby

Hannah Tennant-Moore — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Maybe you can help me puzzle out this video. On Morning Joe yesterday, co-host Mika Brzezinski interviewed Senator Jim Webb while she was holding an adorable baby. At first, I assumed the baby was Mika's--perhaps her babysitter canceled--and I thought it was sort of cool to see the complications of family life so unabashedly portrayed on the news.

Or maybe Mika was going to talk to Senator Webb about the new children's health care bill, and she wanted a live demonstration of its impact. But it turns out the baby belongs to a coworker, and Mika just felt like holding him throughout the interview.

The male anchors ask Senator Webb the real questions, while Mika makes some cute jokes about the baby, gets lipstick all over his forehead, and speaks to him in baby talk. So instead of enforcing the idea that babies and high-profile careers can go hand-in-hand, MSNBC only succeeded in showing how much all women love babies—and don’t really want to talk about that boring political stuff!

Unfortunately, MSNBC won't let me post the video directly to this page, but you can watch it here.

Photo: newcityvegas.com

Coworking: Office Space Without the Angst

Amy Kuras — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 22:02:00 GMT

I'm not alone in thinking working at home, while it has its benefits, mostly blows. I mean I love the time with my kids – but on the other hand, I am attempting to work while I am home with my kids. Who, while lovely, are an infant and a preschooler and thus have no respect for deadlines (want to know how many times I have had to stop writing this and tend to someone? Five. So far. And the preschooler is napping. It would be twice that if she weren't). Plus, there's the pets, and the home phone, and the temptation to load the dishwasher/run a load of laundry/get a jump on dinner instead of work during that brief period when everyone is happy or at least quiet.

The solution would be an office outside the home, but what I'd have to pay for additional daycare plus rent in even a cheap building or shared space would cost major bank – and as a freelance journalist/itinerant blogger, major bank's not happening.

I've casually talked with friends in similar lines of work about sharing an office – not something we’d have to be at every day, but a space where you have a desk and co-workers who can get their own cups of milk, but without all attendant hassles of actually working for each other. Lo and behold, this is not an original idea but a new trend, called coworking, the idea being it's more professional than hanging at Starbucks and more social than working alone at home.

One woman started a coworking space called Cubes and Crayons in Menlo Park that includes, wait for it, childcare. Both of which are available the amount of time you need it and not a moment longer. I have no idea if she's interested in franchising, but if any of you want to open up such a place in my neck of the woods, I'll be your first customer.

Working Moms: Not Guilty Enough? Read This

Amy Kuras — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:02:00 GMT

I'm of the belief, as the cheesy 80s saying went, "every mother is a working mother" – and as a work at home mother I have a foot firmly in both camps of the so-called "Mommy Wars."

So I found this CNN.com story on CareerBuilder.com's annual Mother's Day study to be awfully scoldy in its tone for work-for-pay mothers – citing stats that 17 percent of working moms have missed three or more significant events in the lives of their children over the last year. Which means that 83 percent didn’t, but where's that stat in the story? Because damn, ladies, that's pretty amazing that you can balance a work schedule and your kid's schedule and not miss much.

A sizable minority bring work home a few days a week or more, which the article treats as solely responsible for the decline of the American family or whatever. Of course, how are we supposed to both be there for every soccer game AND get our jobs done, exactly, otherwise?

And I reserve special scorn for this: "Perhaps unsurprisingly, 24 percent of mothers cited work as having a negative impact on their relationships with their children." Which, again, means three-quarters do not think so, and I'd be willing to bet at least some of the moms who said it was damaging their relationships with their kids were just having a shitty day at work or home or both.

In other words, working moms are actually doing a pretty good job balancing everything --but the story focuses on the minority who feel they are not.

Here's what I think work-for-pay moms – and probably a good bit of work-for-free moms too – really wish for: Viable part-time work options. Good, affordable child care.
And oh yeah, no more asinine news stories that serve to pile more guilt on moms who deserve better.

Canadians Soon to be Even Happier

Madeline Holler — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:48:00 GMT

When you're Canadian, do you wake up every morning happy ... cold, but happy? I ask because it seems to me that Canadians get it when it comes to families -- healthcare, maternity leave, education. Canadians are just so together, cold but together.

Take this as an example: national lawmakers there are seriously considering an overhaul of their lawmaking schedule in order to make it more family friendly. The goal? Getting more parents of young children involved in public office.

Now, I don't know the workings of the Canadian legislature, but basically they're ending a requirement to be there on Fridays, cutting out evening and late-night sessions and taking advantage of Blackberrys and other technology so that they can be present while also being absent. The rescheduling, proponents claim, simply packs more work in to a shorter amount of office time. Sounds good to me.

Here in the U.S., we certainly talk about making work, government and society family friendly. But we're very short on action. We're someone to mention this in the U.S., we'd have to have a totally polarizing argument that shamed working parents, belittled stay-at-home parents, called into question the motives of those who didn't want to be around on Fridays while ignoring/unduly burdening the chosen lives of the child-free -- and calling into question the productivity of public officials who may actually like hanging out with their kids.

It's as if the best we get down here, even from the Democratic presidential candidates who seem positively pro-pro-family with their healthcare plans, is a vague mention of universal pre-K. Which is fine. Just not enough, it seems to me.

But those Canadians! They just overhaul their outdated Victorian ways and call it a family-friendly night. A cold but family-friendly night.

First Week Back at Work is Crucial

Amy Kuras — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 23:33:00 GMT

I haven’t worked in an office for nearly six years, so for me the prospect of going back to work after I have this baby is pretty much completely exciting – I can use my brain! And write! About something other than when he last pooped/nursed/slept!

For mothers who must negotiate a breast pump, a commute that's longer than climbing the stairs to your office and shutting the door, and the wearing of real clothes that are not composed of polarfleece, it can be a much more ambivalent situation.

Turns out that first week back at work is pretty critical to a new mom's success at juggling the working parent role. This article from Forbes lays out some of the more helpful ideas. First of all, negotiate a staggered start, where you don't come back full time right away, if you possibly can. Also, connect with your colleagues and maybe bring the baby by for a visit before you start back. That way, they won't forget that you actually went through a major life change while you were gone instead of spending three months traipsing around Europe or whatever, and it reminds you that you actually like these people and are coming back to work for a reason.

On a similar note, connect with other new moms you know at the company. Talking to someone who's been where you are and survived it can make or break your coping ability.

As much as I loved this article, I was struck by how much it seemed to take for granted that every company offers things like lactation rooms and flexible hours. Some companies in the article even did simple, low cost things like a monthly lunch for new moms, so they can connect with each other for support. It would be nice if all companies, not just those that employ the cream of the crop, offered those types of benefits to make life easier for families.

Photo: Forbes.com

Working From Home Made Simple(r)

Amy Kuras — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 20:03:00 GMT

"Oh, you’re so lucky, I'd love to work at home."

If you're a work-at-home parent, you've heard that plenty of times. But the vision doesn't always match up to the reality. My daughter's sudden and immediate need for something, anything, from me RIGHT THIS SECOND is in direct proportion to the importance of the call I am taking. When she was a baby, before we owned a laptop, her reluctance to take a damn nap already was also correlated to my desperate need for an uninterrupted hour or so to work –and she would unerringly wake up crying just as I got that crucial call to be able to meet a deadline on time.

I'm lucky in that most of the people I deal with on a daily basis are fairly child-friendly, or at least not completely put off an impression of professionalism by hearing "Mommy. Mommy. Mommy. I want milk. I need milk. Mommy!" too many times throughout a conversation. And of course, there are our friends Dora and Elmo. Yeah, I said it.

This article from Parenting.com via CNN contains some helpful ideas for parents trying to balance work and child-raising in the same space. Some are no-brainers – have a basket of small toys in your work area so your children can play while you work. Others, though, are things I never thought of — make sure your wastebasket is secure, for example, and back up computer files weekly. I would add "Don’t leave wet fingerpainting projects where the cat can walk through them while you're taking a call from your most impossible client" but that's another story.

Babble Talk: Baby Trumps Boss

aprilpeveteaux — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 18:16:00 GMT

Steve Almond enlightens the office worker about the reality of working from home when that home includes a dependent. First-rate attention splitting and multi-tasking is difficult for mere mortals, but for mere mortals with a baby, it’s impossible. And quite frankly your child is most likely a hell of a lot more fun to hang out with than your boss. I would like to think that before I had a kid I was as altruistic in my dealings with co-workers who had family, but I was probably just as obtuse as anyone who has never had this experience and therefore can never fully understand the mental energy it takes to talk down a toddler. Or the extreme need to cuddle a giggling girl when you’ve only got an hour to finish revisions.

Almond gives us the fair and balanced report covering the happy moments that non-distracted workers miss out on when they're on the nine to five. But I’m going to make a bold, even though I think obvious, statement. It’s just plain easier to work where your child is not. My own recent return to a structured work environment made me realize how easy my office-dwelling husband has had it during this last year. Bitter? Harrumph. In addition to the simple pleasure of listening to music during my commute, I’ve been able to let that part of my brain rest that knows exactly what time to change a diaper, put on a ‘Charlie & Lola’ DVD or throw some Cheerios down my daughter's gullet, all without a glance at the clock. Of course it’s also made my time with my girl much more precious, but the fact that I’ve been able to actually read an entire article again, helped me realize that the balance I need in my work and life includes time away from one of the people I love the most. How about you parents out there? Where does most of your business life take place? And in the words of Dr. Phil McGraw, how is that working for you?