re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

PinkPanther — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 17:50:23 GMT

Believe it or not, I've actually been asked, "Were you not on birth control?" by coworkers! I was incredulous! I suppos it's because my boyfriend and I are not married. I retorted with, "Well, babies can be made whether you're on birth control or not." Her response... "Well, are you at least getting married? You know it's the right thing to do." I just said, "Well, I haven't asked him yet." ;-) Any other personal, insensitive questions are answered with a loud and raucous fart. (My baby makes me gassy!) If they're going to be rude enough to ask those kinds of questions, I have no qualms with being rude back!! And... it works!

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Gen62 — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 21:28:25 GMT

I often get: “When are you due?” and I'm not even pregnant. I just carry some weight on the tummy. Most of the times, I answer: “In a few years, maybe.”

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Alejandra — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 04:00:30 GMT

Cuando una chica embarazada comenta a su amiga "estoy embarazada" y esta amiga responde : ¿Y lo vas a tener?

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Kris — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:50:14 GMT

I think my absolute least favorite was the woman in Target who asked if my son was adopted. He was a 30-week preemie and weighed 5 lb when we brought him home. I'd lost all my pregnancy weight by then and apparently didn't look post-partum enough to have a newborn-sized baby.

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Combermere — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:56:50 GMT

Here's some of my faves (I'm due any day and still getting them)

A not very bright male co worker, seeing me arrive at work with a walker for my Pelvic Girdle Pain, went 'yeah, my wife gained 55 pounds too'. Uh, first off, my inability to walk has nothing to do with weight, and I had only gained 30 pounds.

Before I got the walker, I was limping down the hall in pain one day, and the CEO started walking in the other direction, imitating my 'pregancy waddle'. What a comedian.

"ARE YOU SURE THERES ONLY 1 IN THERE?" I get this every time I go out in public. It grows very tiresome.

"Have you thought of any names yet?" Yes, and I'm not telling, because I'm pretty sure you won't like any of them. OR, even better, I've had a few people say 'well as long as you dont name her something like -----' which is actually what we're naming her. Boy, will they feel dumb later.

At 6 months - "Won't be long now, huh?"

Finally, this is an exchange that happens a lot, and drives me crazy. I've had a hard pregnancy and am in pain a lot. So when people ask me how I am, I rarely say 'peachy', cause, well, that would be a lie. But still, is this really necessary?

"SO, how are you?"

"Me: Tired."

"You think you're tired NOW? Just wait till the baby's born! Cackle, cackle, cackle..."

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Chachina — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 16:57:11 GMT

I'm only 10.5 weeks, and we started telling people really early (like 6-7 weeks). The WORST questions/comments that I got were ones like "Wow, I can't believe you're telling people already. Aren't you worried about miscarriage?" and then launching into horror stories about women they know who miscarried.

My neighbor was like "You gotta keep it in the back of your head." and I replied "NO! It should NEVER be in the back of your head. The next time that you mention miscarriage to me I'm going to smack you upside the head and not feel bad about it!"

My husband keeps asking why I don't want to hang out with them lately. I tell him they're just too annoying to me right now :-<

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

lauralu — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:44:24 GMT

worst question i was asked in my third pregnancy, over and over and over and over, and then a couple of times more, was "is this your first?" my first son was stillborn at 41 weeks, and my second pregnancy ended in a 2nd trimester miscarriage. i know people were just trying to make small talk, but many people have had at least one miscarriage, if not far worse and more, and it's a dumb question anyway. if i say, "yes," then i get some crappy unsolicited parenting advice. if i say, "no," then the next question is, "so how many do you have at home?" there's no win. i started saying, "no, we lost our first," which ends the dumb questions but is a real conversation killer.

the worst question i wasn't asked was for permission to touch my belly. if someone asks if they can, and i know it's coming, i don't mind it at all, but it is incredibly rude to reach out and touch another adult's midsection in the workplace or standing in line at the grocery store. i hate that!

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Erin Merrill — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:25:46 GMT

It wasn't so much the questions that bothered me when I was pregnant, it was everyone's incessant need to touch, tap, jiggle, and rub my stomache. I don't understand how a complete stranger could be compelled to touch you in a place that, while pregnant, is very protected and personal.

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

CoolAuntieTina — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:17:17 GMT

I work for a small Catholic publisher, and one of my coworkers is a priest. He's a great guy, but just the other day he saw me (after being away for a few weeks) and actually said, "Wow, you're looking a little chunky now!"

I get the "how are you feeling?" a lot, which can get tiresome after the thousandth time, but it's OK.

The question that annoys me the most right now is "Have you thought of any names yet?" We have, months before I even got pregnant, but we're not telling anybody for various reasons. So I don't blame people for asking the question, because it's a totally common one, but I just don't know how to rephrase our ambiguous answer when the same people keep asking over and over.

Thank goodness nobody's been rude to me! I probably would just break down and cry :)

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

JenRobbins — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 13:59:35 GMT

OMG! I can so relate to so many! Although, I do walk around with my foot in my mouth on most days, so I feel for peeps who ask silly questions, but what is it about being visibly pregnant that calls out for open discussion on your body?! And, I totally respect my elders, but I got some newfound respect for my own momma when the "experienced" (ie, 50+) moms at work started unleashing the advice.

I worked up some responses in my head to those nosy questions but I never felt nasty enough to use them...(Q: "Was it planned?" A: "No! Do you think I should keep it?")

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

DG — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:08:48 GMT

A friend was at the doctor's for the first 'booking appointment' after having just discovered that she was pregnant with her second. Her first was 7 years at the time and she herself in her early 30's and she was quite ecstatic at this.

The conversation with the doc went as follows:

Doc: So, how can I help you today?

Friend: Well I just found out I am pregnant and....

Doc: and you want to get rid of it, right? OK!

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Madeline Holler — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 03:01:37 GMT

OK, I'm cringing at these. But, JBThomas, your comment -- the one directed at your friend -- makes me giggle pretty hard. How could ... why ... what ... it's just so wrong!

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

hippygoth — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 02:29:31 GMT

I second, "Was it planned?" and "When are you having the next one?"

I would also like to add saying to a pregnant woman, "Are you going to do it naturally?" There is no correct answer to this. If you say, "Yeah," then they smugly laugh and say, "Oh , just wait," or (my favorite) "No one gives you a prize for not getting an epidural." If you say, "No, I want an epidural," then they tell you all the epidural horror stories they know.

I had fun telling everyone who had never had a baby that I planned to have drugs, but not an epidural. That confused them and shut them up.

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

AllisonWonder — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 23:51:33 GMT

When I was pregnant the second time, I frequently got the "So, are you hoping for a girl?" question, since our first is a boy. We said we didn't care- we'd be happy either way. After we found out we were having a second boy (and we were thrilled!), people made the sympathetic face and said, "aww... well, maybe next time!"

Yeah... or not...

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

jbthomas — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:48:53 GMT

This did not actually happen to me, but it did happen to a friend of mine....while shopping at the mall, a woman asked " So, are you keeping the baby?". Seriously.

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Skies — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:40:48 GMT

At Costco an employee called out to me from across the isle that I was going to have a boy because I was carrying all my weight in the back. Thanks lady for telling me I have a fat ass. In front of everyone. Awesome.

ps. I did have a boy. :)

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

TS — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:35:55 GMT

1. "Are you an unwed mother?" the supermarket checkout boy asked me, seeing me with my two toddlers, with no ring on my finger. (My ring was too tight with all the baby weight gain.)

2. A male coworker was walking behind me when I was 8 months pregnant. He said, "you're really starting to waddle now." I should have responded, "you're really starting to go bald now!"

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Tori — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:29:47 GMT

I have a good post-partum question:

Whenever someone learns that my son weighed 10.5 lbs at birth, they ask, "Did you have a c-section?" And even though the answer is yes, I always fight the urge to comment about how my vajayjay will never be the same.

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

32 Weeks — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:25:18 GMT

No, people are just thoughtless and rude.

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

KMR — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:23:50 GMT

..oh and a classic male co-worker comment. I was about 4 months along and he overheard me and a gf talking about it in the elevator. He said - "Congrats you are pregnant! I figured you were... it would be hard to get that fat that fast."

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

KMR — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:22:15 GMT

I had so many people ask how far along I was, which is fine... but then follow up with a comment on how huge I was and how I looked like I could have the baby next week. This started on week 20. I stopped going to the place I get my nails done because the exchange was inevitable. 7 weeks pp I went back there for some reason and mentioned I wanted my nails short because I had a newborn at home and didn't want to inadvertently scratch her. The woman said to me "Oh, you already had your baby? I thought you were still pregnant." Wow. That made me feel just great.

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Roper — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:20:11 GMT

"Are/were they natural?" (with regard to my twins) totally drives me bonkers.

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Lena — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:12:19 GMT

Relax people, really. Folks are just interested, that's all. Do you always say the perfect thing??

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Sarah — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:11:26 GMT

I'm always horrified when I hear people ask those things. But lemme tell ya, adoptive parents get some humdingers, too. Why do people think they have a right to ask about personal things.... especially when the child is standing right there?!?!!

re: Top 12 Rudest Questions to Ask Expectant Parents

Cecelia — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 18:32:43 GMT

The question that bugged me the most, being not quite 2 weeks post-partum, <i>"When are you having another?"</i> That just floored me.