They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

coolteamblt — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 19:22:34 GMT

I was one of the youngest in my grade. My school had a 15 September cutoff, and my birthday is 11 September. I never noticed much of a difference. I was tall for my age, so it didn't bother me size wise, and I hated kids my own age because I was more of a quiet reader instead of an active sort of kid. I don't think waiting until I was the oldest in my class would have made much of a difference for me. The only time it bothered me was college. I was seventeen for the first six weeks of college, and I had to send syllabus signature slips home to be co-signed by my parents.

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

amyp — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 13:51:16 GMT

My son has an Oct 2 birthday, and I considered sending him a year later. He is small for his age already, and I worried about how he'd do in sports and on the playground with the older kids. Unfortunately, the kid is really smart, and we really had no choice but to send him to school "early." Still, the level of challenge in school was pretty low - to the extent that by second grade we were going to have to face moving him up another grade (and a year further removed from his peers). Now he's enrolled in a gifted magnet program in a multi-age classroom. That has been an amazing gift to him. If I had enrolled him in public school a year later I know that his behavior would have suffered out of extreme boredom.

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

Talia — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:26:30 GMT

From personal experience, my birthday was a little before the cutoff. In my school it was October 1st, while my birthday was in September. I was always the youngest, and many of my friends were almost a year older than me. I never minded it, only when it came time to get my license.

Of course, if the child isn't ready, they should be held back. Just saying, there are adults out there that were close to the cutoff and it didn't matter too much. When you don't know anything else but being the youngest, it doesn't bother you.

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

Madeline Holler — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:09:21 GMT

I think it's unfortunate that there's so much stigma surrounding "holding kids back." So maybe a kid seems ready for K ... but that year (or even the next or the next) the teachers and parents see a struggle and the beginning of failure or whatever. A great solution would be to keep him/her in that grade for another year.

I know of a country that makes this evaluation at the end of what's the eighth-grade year here in the States. Some kids choose to stay and do an extra "junior high" year, while others move on to high school. It's just part of the system, so there's nothing wrong with staying the extra year and no extra props or resume-building advantage in having gone on.

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

Larissa — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 18:48:56 GMT

Like many who've commented, my kids are on the cusp - Sep 3rd and 9th with a 9/1 cutoff. We opted to send them "on schedule" meaning my daughter will turn 7 on the first day of 1st grade and is the oldest in her grade. Less than worry about whether she'd be ready for the early grades, we were concerned with the social & emotional impact of being much younger than most of her peers during adolescence.

For my son, we're also sticking to the schedule - he's more academically ready for kindergarten than his sister was and he's also more emotionally resilient so we were tempted to place him in K just a year behind his sister but he is also a very active child who gets corrected for his exhuberant behavior a lot. Ultimatey we figured he'd have the same soc/emo benefits of being older and another year to learn patience & focus so that sitting in a classroom is a bit easier.

Whenever the cuttoff is, there are kids on the edge - mothers a generation before me have shared with me similar struggles for their kids (my age) who were December birthdays.

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

Maureen — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 18:23:34 GMT

My son missed the cutoff by 3 weeks, so I didn't have a choice. He'll be older than many of his peers, but not by too much (his birthday is Dec. 23 and the cutoff is Nov. 30 here).

He was mentally ready -- knew his letters, colors, numbers and was reading simple books at the start of his last year of preschool -- but socially, no way. The kid still has trouble sitting still and he has to touch EVERYTHING. If I had made the cutoff, I don't really know what I would have done.

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

StubbyDog — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 18:18:51 GMT

This is something I think about quite a bit actually. It's very common here to hold children back. My oldest daughter is tall for her age, bright, listens well to teachers, and can focus on things well. She also has an early October birthday, so she would normally be one of the oldest kids in her class There's no question in my mind of holding her back and in some ways I wish I could send her early. LOL (like my parents did with me when I went to school, back when they would let you do such things on a case-by-case basis)

My baby boy, however, has an August 20th birthday. While I don't really know that much about his personality yet, I often wonder how hard of a decision this will be for us. And it is definitely influenced by the fact that I know lots of people hold their children back.

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

Mom2Two — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 18:11:58 GMT

My son has a Sept 2 birthday, one day behind the Sept 1 cutoff. I've been told they will probably let him in if I insist, but a neighbor with a child with a Sept 25 birthday wasn't allowed in until he was 6.

My son is also small physically, but I'm more worried about his maturity level. He's bright enough that I think he'd be fine academically, but even a year makes such a difference when it comes to attention span and listening skills.

I've read research that suggests that boys at the younger end of the spectrum can most benefit from starting kindergarten a year later.

Personally, I think these studies can be flawed because for every child that has been "redshirted", there are others that had no choice of when they started, because of birthdays later in the year. My daughter has a November birthday and she'll be closer to 6 when she starts school, and we have absolutely no say in that.

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

leahsmom — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:33:20 GMT

I was right at the cutoff as a kid, if it is any consolation - and I never really minded it, except in college, when everyone else was drinking beers a year ahead of me. (Not what you want to hear, right?) I think, perversely, it convinced me I was super-smart, which was a notion I had to be thoroughly disabused of later on.

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

Elizabeth — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:08:48 GMT

My daughter also has an August 31 birthday, the cutoff date at our school, and we wonder what we will do when she is ready for kindergarten. She will be only 2 so we have a few years to think abut it. I will probably see how she does in preschool and where her skills are compared to the other kids. Lots to think about.

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

AnneAC — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 14:06:16 GMT

Wow. So interesting! My child has an August 25th birthday (just meeting the September 1st deadline). We are tormented by this constantly.

I've never thought of the impact on OTHER kids or schools as a whole.

Hmmmm...more to ponder.

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

Keri Fisher — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 14:05:01 GMT

My son's birthday is August 31, the absolute cutoff to enter kindergarten in our district. He's bright, very verbal, and has been going to preschool since he was 2. He's also quite small. While he may be intellectually ready for kindergarten next year (when he turns 5), I'm more worried about how being the youngest kid in his class will affect him down the road, when he hits puberty up to 18 months behind the rest of his class.

I know Declan is an unusual case, since his birthday is right on the cutoff. But if I knew that other parents weren't going to redshirt their kids, I might consider sending Declan when he turns 5. Either way, he'd be the youngest in his class, but the biggest age gap could be a year and a half, versus less than a year if every kid started kindergarten when he was 5.

Keri

www.whoelsewantstoliveinmyhouse.com

re: They Say: Delaying Kindergarten For One Hurts Us All

Birdieta — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 13:35:03 GMT

I read the piece. I makes you want to hold your kid back (if you're already thinking of redshirting) for the greater goo.

But, on the other hand, the idea that your kid is at an advantage over other kids is the POINT of redshirting. Parents WANT little Jonnie and Susie to outperform the others.