Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

re: Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

julielynn — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:40:53 GMT

It is never ok to hit a child. I can't hit my husband when he "willfully misbehaves", and he is a grown person, larger than me and more than able to defend himself. If I do, I can get arrested. How on EARTH is it more acceptable for me to hit a teeny, defenseless child? That should ba a jailable offense as well. In fact, even more so.

re: Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

Nneoma — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 21:14:59 GMT

The 'to spank or not to spank' issue is basically cultural but if you ask me its easy to see which cultures have better behaved kids.

'Unfortunately', I am pro spanking. i cringe every time i see a tantrum throwing child.its actually right in my own culture for someone else to give that child a spanking in public and to hell with the parents.You don't raise crappy kids because you want to be politically correct and unleash them on the rest of the world.

i grew up with very sane working parents who let us know that we would be hit if we crossed some lines,and we were. So i 'look forward' to spanking my kids and letting them know who's boss so that they learn respect for others and gain respect for themselves.

re: Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

Patrick — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 15:17:18 GMT

There are things you don't want a kid doing because the act is annoying. Those are times for talking, possibly at elevated volume levels. Usually as a kid, I'd repeat that behavior and it'd take a while to break me of the habit. If you can't deal with those things without violence, you need to take a meditation class or something.

Then there are things that, if repeated, could get a kid killed or disfigured. Those behaviors need to end immediately, and maybe some kids at some ages aren't going to stop doing them without a stronger and more immediate deterrent than just yelling. I'm not going to judge those parents. That's just tempting fate to give me one of those kids...

re: Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

Bunny — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 15:12:06 GMT

While I think it may be possible for parents to hit their kids without having the kind of household where parents rule by terror and kids hate and fear their parents, I haven't seen it happen yet. Nor have I yet seen a situation where an adult has hit a child to teach them a lesson rather than to take out their own anger (the height of immaturity and abuse of power, IMO).

It's not advisable to have a "friends" relationship with your kid, but raising your kids under a regime of terror is a recipe for therapy bills (and I should know - I'm paying them). Find some other way to discipline the poor kiddos if you want them to still like you when they're grown.

Same with abusive, degrading and shaming language. This, more than the hitting, is why I feel that I couldn't possibly be the happy and well-adjusted adult I am now if my father was still alive. I don't think anyone here would want this said of them.

re: Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

Nicole — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:01:36 GMT

I'm with Amy Jo. We were a no spanking household (although both myself and Daddy-O were spanked as children and grew up pretty well adjusted) until our almost 4 year old started escaping his daycare- right into a busy parking lot. Thankfully he was reeled in shortly after exiting the front door, everyone involved was pretty much scared to death. We've instituted a spanking on the booty for any life-endangering situation and time out for everything else and never ever hit the kids out of anger.

Parents who have yet to spank- do pray your kids never try the Houdini act on you :)

re: Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

MomofBeans — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 11:33:35 GMT

I was spanked, slapped, and occasionally threatened throughout my childhood and I can remember every single occasion. Both of my parents had short fuses, used explitives when talk to me, and tended to forget that I was a child. It was demoralizing for me. Perhaps a line was crossed and this wasn't the typical spanking that we are discussing here, but my parents certainly saw it as acceptable. The slaps in the face were terrible...the worst, but just as bad as having my mom say "f*ck you" to me. I hope I never do that to my daughter. My mother-in-law seems to think that every parent does spank at some point, but I am going to make every effort to find alternatives. My childhood experience with these things left me with an impression that this is an unkind act. To each their own, but I don't want to do it.

re: Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

rockin' grandma — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 03:34:39 GMT

Spanking is a cowardly, might makes right action(or re-action).

But, to quote my formerly 10 year old child after a lengthy lecture, "Can't you just spank me?"

Quien sabe?

re: Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

sumoo — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 03:08:34 GMT

My child is not quite 2 and pretty reasonable, as far as almost 2 year olds go. Our big deal now is that she tries to hit me and her dad when frustrated - our mantra each time is "mommy/daddy doesn't hit you - you can't hit mommy/daddy". We would be lost, disciplinarily speaking, if we were to hit her - but believe me, I've felt the urge. Answering your question - spanking didn't work for me, and didn't seem to for my brother despite having otherwise awesome parents and my husband, (whose parents, well, are less than awesome in my view) did not spank and is a super, well adjusted human being - is there a causation, correlation? I dunno - but we'll go with it.

re: Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

Cassie — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:55:25 GMT

Most parents hit thier kids but few admit it. When I was a kid EVERONE spanked thier kids and we did not grow up a generation of lunatics. I think it depends on the kid, the situation and how in control the parent is. Spanking is a good way to let a kid know you are serious. Slapping is not cool in my book.

re: Is it ever OK to hit your kids?

Amy Jo — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 00:28:53 GMT

I recently swatted my son on the bum (through pants and a diaper) for sneaking out of the house. I didn't realize that he could reach the lock on the door, and when he heard we were going to the park (in 10 minutes) he took it upon himself to head out to the car. I explained afterwards that what he did was very dangerous and told him that was why he got a swat. As a kid my parents spanked me, but only when I did something that could be potentially dangerous. I learned my lessons well.