For a good marriage, women need to stay home

re: For a good marriage, women need to stay home

GINOD42 — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:12:42 GMT

First, you're two individuals. Then you become a couple. Then you become parents. With each step, there are greater complications. And I think with each step, there's a greater chance that one of these things falls by the wayside.

So both individuals have to still be independent and take care of themselves. They have to take care of one another equally as a couple should. And they have to share parenting duties, all at the same time.

I don't think one sex is more disposed toward nurture or independence than the other. But if you're in a marriage and you forget can't balance all three of these, chances are, you're not going to be happy.

re: For a good marriage, women need to stay home

Della — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 00:48:12 GMT

Dude. Isn't a feminist just a person who thinks men and women have equal rights?

re: For a good marriage, women need to stay home

Susie — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:43:47 GMT

It would seem this (seriously lame) t.v. show is just trying to reach its "target" audience...the one sitting home watching t.v. while their husbands escape, I mean, go to work. That aside, I thought I read a study a couple of years ago that said men/husbands are generally happier in marriage because they expected less whereas women/wives were more likely to be disappointed with the state of marriage. And if the doctors on the Mike and Juliet show are right and women need to stay home and coddle their husbands "ad nauseam" in order to achieve matrimonial nirvana then that would explain why the men/husbands are happier. I sure am happier when my spouse cooks dinner, does some (any) laundry and makes the coffee in the morning. But, seriously, I think any happy relationship involves give and take...so, if you are picking up his smelly socks then he better be taking out the garbage!

re: For a good marriage, women need to stay home

leahsmom — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:50:57 GMT

*epic headdesk*

I must say, every time I hear a clip from the Mike & Juliet show, it causes me to lose my sanity.

re: For a good marriage, women need to stay home

GiantPanda — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 02:35:39 GMT

Gee this is so opposite to my experience! In my experience of three families (my own parents, my in-laws, and my own little family) if the MOM is happy, the everyone is happy. But if the MOM is unhappy.... watch out!!

I do find it exceedingly unfair that I work more hours AND earn more money than my husband, yet it is still ME hanging out little T-shirts and socks on the line at midnight (the only time I have to do laundry) and schlepping off to the grocery store after the baby has gone to sleep, so that he can have some nutritious food the next day. (Then hubby eats the baby's food and I get really mad).

I'm working on my own insidious form of rebellion though. I do baby's laundry and mine, but hubby's clothes haven't been washed for about 3 weeks now. Wonder when he will notice?

re: For a good marriage, women need to stay home

korinthia — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:20:54 GMT

Of course a man can be a feminist. A feminist is anyone who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes.

And I do find it disturbing that the whole focus of a happy marriage as they're laying it out is defined exclusively by what the man wants. I would like think many men could take pleasure in making their wives happy too. My husband stays at home with our kids while I work at our family business and he handles laundry and dinner and play dates just fine. He does it differently than I do and that's okay. We regularly ask each other how we can make each other happy and we struggle every day to strike a balance as best we can. I have trouble believing my marriage is that unusual.

re: For a good marriage, women need to stay home

diera — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:05:46 GMT

Y'know, BBBGMOM, I definitely bitch about these things in my husband too, as we both work the same hours and make the same amount of money and yet I'm still the #1 go-to parent at home. However, I sometimes think that the differences at heart come down to one thing; women are, by nature or nurture, more likely to do what others want of them. I've noticed that when I'm physically absent, my husband can make dinner, do laundry, wipe noses, and all the other stuff I'm the one generally stuck with when I'm home. At work, his multitasking skills seem to work just fine. And, really, if women were the champs at multitasking, they would hold all the air traffic control jobs, and high-powered chef positions, and military command posts, and... and yet not so much. I think it comes down to the fact that these household tasks are somewhat boring and repetitive and men feel entitled to wriggle out of them when they can, and women don't. Now, it's certainly possible that they'd be happier if they got a free pass to skip all this stuff and only do the fun parts of parenting and having a household, but then, so would I.

re: For a good marriage, women need to stay home

Joanie — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:51:55 GMT

Hey, I think this is awesome. I'm the one making the big bucks, so when I get home, he'll get off the phone, do some laundry and make me dinner?? All for it. By the way, I'm not making coffee anymore, either.

I keep telling my husband if he just does what I want, I'll be happy. Now I have the stats to prove it.

re: For a good marriage, women need to stay home

Marie Eve — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:34:36 GMT

What struck me the most is the idea that the happy marriage can only happen if the woman makes the MAN happy... What about her own needs and happiness?

re: For a good marriage, women need to stay home

BBBGMOM — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 15:17:21 GMT

I do think Haltzman goes too far... BUT, I have to admit that after 13 yrs of marriage and 10+ yrs of parenting, I have come to believe that he comes closer to the mark than many of us progressives would like to admit. A very common theme among my women friends who are married w/ kids is the orneriness of our spouses. Their grumpiness in getting home... their inability to multitask. Their very limited abilities in the dinner-making and clothes-washing categories. Their lack of listening skills. It's scary how common those themes are among couples in which both parties have similar educational credentials and high powered jobs. I have determined that we are not all that evolved from our cave dwelling ancestors (or our grandparents.)