Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

mamam — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 20:39:04 GMT

I'm appalled that corporal punishment is still going on in schools today. I think it's completely inappropriate to use spanking/paddling/etc. as a form of discipline in the classroom. As a prior classroom teacher, there are many more effective ways to deal with misbehavior. I don't think it's my call or any other teachers to hit, spank, etc. someone else's child. I think it's also important to teach children (especially at the young age of 3) that there are other, more effective ways of dealing with problems than hitting. There is a really great debate about spanking at www.opposingviews.com/questions/is-spanking-an-acceptable-form-of-discipline. Experts from both sides debate the issue, and the Center for Effective Disicipline takes the anti-spanking side, making some good recommendations for why not to use spanking.

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

MsC — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:42:19 GMT

PS: Someone we know recently had a problem with someone swatting their kid in preschool. They said they needed to 'meditate' on what to do. My response to someone hitting my kid would be... slightly stronger.

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

MsC — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:40:25 GMT

Bare? Who? Where? Was that in the article?

Paddling was the norm when I was in grade school. It was clearly more about humiliation than inflecting pain. (Not saying that's better). The offending student would be taken into the hall and whapped. Everyone in your grade would know you'd been punished, and would know if you cried/sniffled/etc. By the time I hit junior high age it had been either declared illegal or phased out for practical reasons (students bigger than teachers).

Having children say ma'am and sir is backward? Guess I'm backward then.

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:04:47 GMT

I remember our school district (when I was in school) had forms- I forget if they were to opt out or opt in, but anyway, you could dictate that your child not be spanked.

I remember being in the principal's office (non-discipline related) one day in elementary school when the paddle was being used, and hearing a kid shrieking. It didn't seem so strange to me then, coming from a home that believed in spanking, but looking back on it, it's a pretty creepy thought. I remember the principals touring the classrooms and showing us the paddle- in a joking way, but still with the understanding that it was sometimes really used. And yes, there were holes bored in, presumably for really aerodynamic whacks. And this was a really nice, upper middle class, top rated elementary school in the late 80's/early 90's.

It was a rare punishment then, and even more so now, I'm sure, but it's totally unacceptable that it's used at all.

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

leahsmom — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:01:27 GMT

My question is - can you do anything about it, if the schools and the laws permit it? I might want to protest, too - but I just wonder if we have any recourse if it's school policy?

I also wouldn't want a teacher hitting my child - I feel like that shouldn't be their call. Also, as a kid, I was often scared of my elementary school teachers - and I can't imagine how much worse it would have been if they were allowed to hit me! There are many fantastic caring teachers out there. But teachers, like any other humans, can be arbitrary, and they have full authority in their classrooms. So I would hate to have children at very young ages (3?) learn the lesson that fairness doesn't matter and their opinion doesn't count - it's the person with the power who gets to decide what is done to their bodies.

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

Camille — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 07:33:14 GMT

I live in Washington State and am thankful that it is illegal here for any child care worker to hit a child. If anyone struck my child I would file charges.

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

No Name — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:21:11 GMT

I can not believe what i am reading .. i am sick to my stomach ... who in this world has any right to hit / spank someone else's kids ??? All these people who are doing so should be held responsible and charged. I have a 3 year old and she will be starting school next year .. reading this just makes me not wanna send my child to school, i am in Canada and things are different here .. still by reading things like this just makes me think other wise of who is really teaching our children ??? Seriously i don't even wanna think about anyone laying a hand on my child ... this world is becoming more sickening everyday.

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

BBBGMOM — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 00:27:59 GMT

Let's see... if I found out one of my children had been hit or handled roughly by a caregiver at daycare or school, there would be hell to pay. I would pull my kid from the classroom to start and issue memoranda to the director/principal immediately demanding information and discipline of the perpetrator. Then I would ask what prompted the action. Yes, in this case I would act first/ask questions later. I cannot see any justification for adults' hitting children. Oh, I live in MN (if it matters.)

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

mldubose — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 22:40:08 GMT

I live in Georgia, where hitting kids in the schools is allowed. However, the public school system my children attend has a no-corporal-punishment policy. They can be real nazis when it comes to punishing the kids; I'm guessing it's to make up for the fact that they don't hit them. If a little fourth grader's bra straps show, she gets a sticker. Three stickers, and she gets in-school suspension. I remember those days of wearing my first bra--and they are sometimes hard to deal with--and one isn't always aware that the straps are showing.

Not only would I come unglued if someone hit my kid--but I would do my best to have charges of assault and battery filed against them. I don't hit (the word "spank" is total BS) my children, and I'll sue the pants off anyone who does.

The culture in the South is still so backward regarding children, in general. Hitting, putting soap or hot sauce in children's mouths, and forcing them to say "Ma'am" and "sir" all the time is thought of as normal here.

I can't wait to move.

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

Bunny — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:30:07 GMT

Am I the only one who's majorly creeped out by the notion of adults unrelated to a child hitting them in the butt? I mean, this is the same country where people say they don't want men working at preschools because they might molest their kids, and... the law allows principals to paddle kids, possibly bare-assed.

Talk about giving perverts a free pass...

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:58:41 GMT

Definitely some- we're big on everything, including whack jobs :)

If anything, my reaction has something to do with the fact that it IS an entrenched cultural thing, just not one that a lot of us young 'uns support. It's hard enough trying to assure the older generation that we're not nuts for our crazy hippy childrearing ideas, without getting lumped in. But give us a few years- as more currently 20-somethings start having kids, getting into influential positions, and so on, I think we'll start seeing a different flavor of parenting (and maybe swing that whole capital punishment thing, too, while we're at it).

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

tex — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 19:21:08 GMT

i'm a city girl and always thought that wooden paddles were the things of myth and legend, or at least of the 1970's. that is until i met my boyfriend's older brother. he is the principal of a high school in the sticks and still uses a paddle on the students. when i didn't believe him he went and got it to show me the streamlined holes bored into it to make the smack sting worse. i can't believe this kind of thing is still thought of as normal in some places. and in a HIGH SCHOOL? i laugh when thinking about some 30-something white dude trying to paddle one of the huge baddasss gang members that went to the schools where i grew up. what a difference 50 miles can make... and yes, i'm from texas. come on guys, it's a big state and i swear we're not all like this!!!

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

Madeline Holler — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:42:43 GMT

M! I love me some Texans ... I was just connecting the corporal punishment numbers with the capital punishment ones. Your state is tops for both!

But, truly, I hardly think all (or even most ... just some, right? Some?) are whack jobs.

Oh, and I'm feeling your pain on the "just you wait" prognostications. Sigh.

Thanks for commenting!

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:26:49 GMT

I'm Texan by birth and residence, and am absolutely against corporal punishment. I also take issue with the implied assertion that we're all whack jobs down here, though I'll concede that many members of my parents' generation were raised with the "spare the rod, spoil the child" philosophy and seem to be uneasy letting it go. I had a conversation about that with my parents a couple of months ago, when my baby, who stays with them during the day, was about 6 months old. When I told them I'd come unglued with anyone who even thought about spanking my kid, my dad told me he expected I'd reconsider when the baby's older. But, as long as they respect my boundaries, they can think whatever they want of my childrearing skills.

I have enough issues with public schools already (for intellectual and psychological reasons, not the usual religious ones attributed to Texan homeschoolers), without worrying about someone deciding my child needs a paddling. One more reason to back up my case for homeschooling our kiddo.

re: Spanked! Is Your 3-Year-Old Getting It at Preschool?

josie — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:40:28 GMT

i wouldn't want a teacher spanking my child, but it's very interesting that when i was in elementary school (i'm 34) this was the norm. i can recall kids being wacked with yardsticks many, many, many times. i also remember teachers taping four or five rulers together to wack a kid on the palm of their hand or on their butts. i don't recall any parents complaining about it back then, but then again, i was child so i'm sure it's not something i would've been made aware of.