Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

re: Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

Jennifer — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 02:18:14 GMT

I think any one should be able to have a child if they want to--single, homo/hetero, whatever. But even when I was a teenager (I'm in my 30s now) I knew that these kids were gonna grow up and be pissed. Where are their rights in all this? I couldn't believe how no one was thinking about the fact they'd grow up and be asking questions only to be disrespectfully told they had no "right" to know who their dad is? What nerve on the part of the doctors, mom, and donor (seller really), all three. The US needs to follow other countries' lead and outlaw annonymous donorship. Other countries have listened to the voices of the children, as they well-should. Sperm (and egg) donation needs to be reframed with the *people* (who won't be babies for long) they are CREATING in mind. Sheesh, isn't it plain? It's normal to want to know both parents' goddamn names, even if your dad is a jackass you wanta know just to know.

These people who argue this are either unempathetic, selfish, control freaks, or all three. (Or maybe profit-motivated in the case of sperm banks themselves.) Whatever the case they aren't thinking of the kids' rights.

Yes of course some people have abusive parents, horrific parents, absent parents, never met their parent, yadda. None of these realities change the fact that everyone wishes to know their parents' identities if nothing else. And to *know* this information is being *willfully and legally* with held from you for other peoples' convenience is the height of disrespect toward these kids who were supposedly so desired.

Childrens rights first, please. So the sperm banks will be less prolific. Shouldn't fairness and human rights trump a wanna-be parent's right to handy and easy-access sperm (or eggs)? We are creating peopel afterall, not beningn little dreams come true. They will ahve dreams of their own as adults. Ripping up their donor's documents is a really rude slap in the face to some of these dream-come-trues own dreams.

By the way. What brings a woman to a sperm bank? Obviously her desire for a relationship. Don't be mean to these kids just because they have the natural human desire for a relationship themselves. Yeah alot of dads aren't worth knowing. Doesn't change the fact you wanna know the dude's name.

re: Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

anonymous — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 00:27:37 GMT

"I could have 300 half siblings"

www.guardian.co.uk/.../family-genetics

"Donor Babies Search for Their Anonymous Fathers"

www.houstonpress.com/.../donor-babies-search-for-their-anonymous-fathers

re: Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

Sheri — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 05:56:46 GMT

As an adoptee and the mom of 2 children via IUI using donor sperm, I think if these people are literally giving us a gift, and if they don't want to be found, then so be it.

My birth mother had a choice, she could have kept me, or worse, had an abortion. I don't know if my birth father even knows I exist. I'm not going to mess with these people's lives just because I'm curious about whose nose I have.

I am who I am, I'm me. I'm part of a family, a family who had to go through all kinds of stuff to get me. I have two parents. They love me--warts and all, and I love them--warts and all.

The same goes for my boys. Their dad is their dad.

Health issues....we all have them. I am approaching 41 and I've been getting mammograms and Pap smears and making an attempt to be healthy.

We all have issues. Even people who aren't adopted have family issues and problems. It is time to get over the whole "have to find out who I am" thing.

Have some respect for the people who gave you life. If they want to be contacted, great. If not, leave it alone.

Almost anyone can make a baby. Not everyone can be a parent.

re: Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

ml66uk — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 04:51:35 GMT

According to HFEA figures, the numbers of UK sperm donors have gone *up* in the two years since the ending of anonymity, thus reversing a three year decline. The 307 donors in 2006 was 48 more than in 2005, and the highest figure since 2001.

I don't have a huge problem with sperm donors being paid, or the numbers of children per donor being increased, but we should never go back to the days of anonymous donors. The donor-conceived are the ones who matter in this, not the parents, not the clinics, and not the donors.

If a sperm donor wants to be anonymous, then he simply shouldn't be a sperm donor. I was a sperm donor over 20 years ago, and if I have any genetic children looking for me, I've made it as easy as possible for them to find me.

re: Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

Patti — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 23:00:09 GMT

How can you retroactively say that this donor's identity is no longer private? If a donor give permission at the time of the donation OR if privacy is not assumed at the time of donation by changing current law then fine. But I'd bet that many donors only sold their sperm because they were assured at the time that it would be private.

re: Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

diera — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 21:14:05 GMT

I disagree that children have a fundamental right to know that trumps the anonymity that was promised these men when the original arrangement was made. At most, maybe the original donors could be contacted *by the clinic* and told that their sperm donation had resulted in living children who now wanted to make contact as adults. If the donor still says no, his wishes should be respected. After all, even if the child gets the donor's name, there's no way that he can be forced to have contact.

re: Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

smiths77 — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 20:56:04 GMT

All that should be released is the donor's medical information. Complete medical information is important for the child, including mental health history, history of family diseases, etc.

This man chose to remain anonymous and his wishes should be respected. If she has a problem with this, she shoudl take it up with her mother, who chose to have a child this way.

re: Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

Miss Chris — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 20:45:32 GMT

Interestingly, this has already happened in the UK. This link goes to an article about the reversal of confidentiality laws in the UK in 2005 and the fallout in the years since then.

www.cbsnews.com/.../main4597958.shtml

re: Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

miss chris — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 20:35:41 GMT

If sperm donors are no longer anonymous and might have some "child" knocking on their door 20 years later than many fewer people will consent to donate and many infertile, lesbian, or single parents will never have children at all.

Everybody wins

re: Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

Laura — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 20:08:00 GMT

I agree completely with Shannon. Children's rights first.

re: Journalist Suing for Sperm-Donor Dad's Identity

Shannon LC Cate — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 19:25:57 GMT

The children's rights outweigh the "donors" (which aren't donors at all, but sellers).

End of story. You will never sway me otherwise. And the laws shoudld be changed to reflect that so there is never an expectation of privacy from gamete donors (I also think they should stop paying them).

I think it should be open records at the age of majority in each country. So there's no chance of a man getting sued for child support. But the adult children of donors have a fundamental human right to know who their biological progenitors were. This right far outweighs the right to anonymity of "donors."