Babble Talk: Is Ditching the Baby Monitor Child Abuse?

re: Babble Talk: Is Ditching the Baby Monitor Child Abuse?

Manjari — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 20:02:11 GMT

It seems so obvious that each family should do whatever works for them. As far as fads go, though, babies sleeping in cribs (or separate from their parents at all) is a historical fad which is not even popular in most of the world. I'm not saying we shouldn't use cribs, just that how long something has been around isn't really a good indicator of whether it's worthwhile. How many of us chose not to get ultrasounds just because our grandmothers didn't?

re: Babble Talk: Is Ditching the Baby Monitor Child Abuse?

Greers Mum — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:05:52 GMT

Baby moniters? Maybe I would use one if my house was bigger. It's a personal choice. Holy Cow though, my kid sometimes cries when the cat leaves the room. How do I stop that? Tie the 2 together? I hate to think she will be traumitized because kitty had to use the litter box.

re: Babble Talk: Is Ditching the Baby Monitor Child Abuse?

leahsmom — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 13:45:43 GMT

Adopted babies are never left to self-soothe?

Uh, oh, clearly I don't really exist. Excuse me! * vanishes *

re: Babble Talk: Is Ditching the Baby Monitor Child Abuse?

Knitty — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 04:54:14 GMT

This is my main objection to AP (well, besides the never-ending guilt trip that women are supposed to eagerly embrace): the fact that its followers are largely a mass of pod-people, ever eager to raise a finger and schreetch "ABUUUUUUUUUSE." And what consistutes abuse to them? Not following the AP marching orders, even something as minor as not using a product that didn't even exist for the entire span of human history until like... yesterday.

For God's sake, people, the best thing you can do as a parent is to ditch the most recent fad learn to think for yourself.

re: Babble Talk: Is Ditching the Baby Monitor Child Abuse?

Sara — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 23:25:06 GMT

I'm glad your baby is safe Alice, but do you really feel the need to sensationalize a lucky coincidence?

Babies cry for myriad reasons, some of which are not life-threatening, and some of which we cannot fix.

My mother let me cry as a baby, and I do not feel particularly traumatized and when I'm in distress I am usually able to handle the situation.

re: Babble Talk: Is Ditching the Baby Monitor Child Abuse?

patricia — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:46:07 GMT

Yes, Alice, babies cry because of stimuli, but what if the stimulus is because the baby doesn't much care for the shade of the walls at that particular time, or doesn't like the smell coming from the kitchen, or any other completely inexplicable reason? Sometimes babies cry. It is fortunate that you caught your daughter's reaction, but from my experience, my baby sometimes cried and there was no discernable reason like a rash (or hunger, or dirty diaper, or being tired). It's a lot of unwarranted pressure on new moms to tell them that happy babies never cry.

re: Babble Talk: Is Ditching the Baby Monitor Child Abuse?

KellyK — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:43:30 GMT

Oh geeze. Are you kidding me. Babies cry. Whay all the drama. In my experience with mine and I would assume with most, he has a different cry for everything. He must be an anomaly, because indeed he did, does and will cry for no reason.

re: Babble Talk: Is Ditching the Baby Monitor Child Abuse?

Alice — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:18:44 GMT

People use monitors today because houses are more soundproof than they used to be. My mom never used a monitor but left the door open or opened a window if she was outside. She said she never ignored us, not even to poop. Once you have a child responding to their needs is your first priority. Dr. Ferber has since recounted his Cry-It-Out advice. For adopted children, it is never done, ever. I remember one of my babies crying and crying in her crib for what seemed no reason. Finally I just took off all her clothes to see what was wrong. She had a horrible rash on her back that was spreading quickly. She was having an allergic reaction. What if I had decided "babies just cry"? She would have died maybe since the hospital did keep her overnight to combat the reaction. Babies just cry? That is not true. They never cry for no reason, it is the only way they have to communicate. They react to stimuli, not cry to bother you. So take your pick, poop in peace and have a traumatised child who believe their cries mean no one will come to aide them when they ar eindistress or be a parent like your mom and grandmother were and go pick up your baby.

re: Babble Talk: Is Ditching the Baby Monitor Child Abuse?

Carey — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 20:11:06 GMT

We never owned a baby monitor for either of our two kids, now almost 4 and almost 6. When they were itty bitty, we lived in a small, 750 square foot house. There was no need for a monitor-one step in any direction and you could see everything in all parts of the house. As I firmly believe, parents need to do what works for them. Who cares if someone doesn't have a baby monitor? As long as the parents have found a way that works for their family that keeps the kid safe. If that means no baby monitor and diligent, watchful parents...then great. If it means a baby monitor that allows parents more freedom and constant monitoring, then great. So kudos to all the parents who've found what works for them and send respect out to those who make choices different from our own.