Divorce Sucks For the Kids

Divorce Doesn't Have to Suck for the Kids

Strollerderby — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 14:04:30 GMT

I've said it before : divorce sucks. For the kids. And in zillions of cases, it does. But it doesn't have to, not if the parents keep one thing paramount throughout the entire experience and, well, for the rest of their lives actually (because

re: Divorce Sucks For the Kids

Rebecca — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 19:45:40 GMT

Don't underestimate the long-term effects on kids. One thing that is hard is that mom has one set of rules and dad another. Plus, where is "Home"? Having two homes is NOT as good as having one stable home.

Children of divorce are more focused on their parents' emotional state and in general experience higher anxiety levels than children of intact families.

Don't kid yourself that divorce, even if your marriage was not positive, was a good thing for your children unless abuse is involved. A "good" divorce is not as good as an intact family -- remember that. Kids can often grow up not fully aware of their parents' unhappiness because they are not focused on YOU, they are rightly focused on themselves.

Divorce is always tragic when children are involved, no matter how "good". It is never as good as an intact family.

re: Divorce Sucks For the Kids

foo — Wed, 23 May 2007 20:39:11 GMT

Ha! Joint parenting plans don't resolve parental hostility. It makes it even better by inviting the constant threat of legal action! Parenting plans are also rigid and do not allow for the modern reality of a dynamic life, unstable job markets, rising housing and transportation costs. Each time you need to alter that plan because of life's realities, woe be to you. All those compromises you make with the other parent to keep you out of court or bankruptcy doesn't help the kid, either.

Really, what we should do is stop teaching kids that life is stable. Life ain't stable unless you are Donna Reed living in Levittown. Which no one is today. Life is dynamic and fluid, and change is only hard because we avoid it like the plague, often for the "sake" of others.