My Kids Have No Friends and it's All My Fault

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Strollerderby Finishline: Broken Dad Edition

Strollerderby — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 18:32:17 GMT

I broke my nose at the playground today. I also gave myself a concussion. The hardest thing to take, sitting there atop the annoyingly cheerful red and yellow play structure that did me in, was the image of my daughter -- laughing. She then clapped for

re: My Kids Have No Friends and it's All My Fault

stinkyface — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 20:36:00 GMT

My son is nine and has 4 or 5 close friends that he is constantly hanging out with in our neighborhood, he always has a buddy. My 10 year old daughter however, NEVER has a friend to play with and almost has to be forced to make plans with the girls in her class or in the neighborhood. Sometimes I think she just doesn't want to be the one who makes the plans, like she is too lazy to pick up the phone and call a friend. Either that or she is just a homebody that prefers to play alone. Funny how they are so totally different!

re: My Kids Have No Friends and it's All My Fault

Karen Murphy — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 15:19:55 GMT

K - you have a point. The date could well be skewed.

Ellen - yes, lucky. Yay!

Didi - it's true, my kids are more introverted.

Sprittibee and Nancy - two different worlds, but they both sound fabulous!

Sabrina - BRILLIANT!

re: My Kids Have No Friends and it's All My Fault

Sabrina — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 15:12:54 GMT

My son is 10 and since he was 5 has had a walkie talkie to go outside with, he never leaves without it. I have lived in apartment communities until the last six months and never had a trust issue, I've taught my son about Stranger Danger, how to pick his friends and how to treat them once he makes friends of them. Since he is an only child, I've always felt it's important to foster relationships with other children, as I do not intend to have any more children, and at this point any child I did have could not be a playmate anyways.

Every parent I've ever met that knows my son is delighted at the walkie talkie idea and promptly runs out to get one!

I think it's a great idea, and it's worked for me.

re: My Kids Have No Friends and it's All My Fault

nancyt — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 01:28:12 GMT

There's a posse of girls who live on my street, ranging from 7th grade to 3rd grade and they all play together really well (my daughter's in the middle in 5th grade). They meet in our attic for "club meetings" and we've become better friends with all our neighbors because the kids all get along so well. When my son was born in January, our neighbors brought us casseroles and stuffed animals, and the 7th grader is our babysitter. We have the best neighborhood in the universe--I'm absolutely convinced! And my daughter just roams around when she wants--she lets me know where she's going to be and just goes.

re: My Kids Have No Friends and it's All My Fault

sprittibee — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 23:52:00 GMT

My kids are homeschooled and we are involved in groups in our area where we meet other homeschoolers. They have found lots of friends this way. Some of our best friends in the world, actually. We keep up with our buddies who are not near us through writing and calling - and sometimes traveling for vacations to see the friends who are farthest away.

re: My Kids Have No Friends and it's All My Fault

Didi — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 22:59:42 GMT

I don't think your kids lack the social skills to find friends, I think they're probably drained from having to be around other kids all day at school, and like their time at home to be quiet so they can recharge.

20% of kids not having a best friend is actually about right in line with the 25% of people who are introverts, and ime introverts and extroverts tend to see relationships differently.

(I highly recommend "The Introvert Advantage" and "The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child")

re: My Kids Have No Friends and it's All My Fault

Ellen — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 21:47:59 GMT

We just moved to a new neighborhood, partly for this very reason. My kids are still young (4.5 and 2), but our last neighborhood was not a place I would ever have felt comfortable letting them go out and play. We are lucky enough to have great neighbors just behind us, and their 2 girls come over and play (or we go over there) nearly every day. Reading this post, I feel so, so lucky . . .

re: My Kids Have No Friends and it's All My Fault

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 20:58:56 GMT

Um, no teenagers have best friends. They hate everyone and have no friends, life, or fun.

Just like 95% of kids are abused by their tv-after-bedtime-refusing parents.