Stay-At-Home-Dads: Career Suicide?

re: Stay-At-Home-Dads: Career Suicide?

Jeremy Adam Smith — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 22:35:27 GMT

I was out of the workforce for a year taking care of my son. I had deliberately left my job, because I was unhappy with the environment as well as the work itself, plus I just wanted to spend more time with my kid.

However, when I left, I was very careful to arrange some low-level consulting work while putting the pieces in place for the next stage in my career. It worked: after a year I applied for the job I wanted and I got it. In the interview I was up front about having taken a year off to take care of my kid and seek a new direction; I was also up front about the importance of spending time with my family.

My feeling--which is obviously informed by my personal experience--is that fears about this are overblown. As long as you're clear to yourself and others about your direction and goals, many people (depending on what work they do) should be able to make a transition back to working. The time off doesn't have to be fatal.

re: Stay-At-Home-Dads: Career Suicide?

Mile-hiDad — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 17:03:22 GMT

My career was on Suicide watch anyway, gone terminal! Now any grey hair I had is less grey, I am in better shape now and I get to hang at the toddler pool with all the moms. There was a time back then where I could change a diaper in record time without getting any on me, too bad there is no Olympic medal for the backhanded sideswiping Pamper Pull!

This job is frustrating at times, but what job isn’t?

re: Stay-At-Home-Dads: Career Suicide?

Jonathan the Bellboy — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 04:00:09 GMT

I've been a father and at home with my kids for 8+ years. I often question my commitment to that career choice, love my kids though I do.

I was an ace at career suicide. I didn't need kids to achieve it. Though things were definitely on the upswing at the time of the the first one's birth, I simply was in a better spot to stay home and my wife was in a better spot to keep working.

When I start looking to return to the workplace, I have no idea what awaits. I'd been eyeing a local independent bookstore, but they folded. Now, I don't know. Both kids will be in school until 2:30 come September, so I will be looking for something part time eventually. The original deal was that I had one year guilt-free before needing to look, but an impending hip replacement may require that to be renegotiated.

And I'm not fond of the acronym SAHD. It sounds too much like I'm blaming my moods on the weather. My distaff compatriots get to share their acronym with a beloved Texas troubador (Doug Sahm).

re: Stay-At-Home-Dads: Career Suicide?

Whit Honea — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 18:28:53 GMT

To be honest, I've never had any sort of negative anything. Ever. If anything I get nods of understanding and lots of jealousy.

re: Stay-At-Home-Dads: Career Suicide?

Lisa — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 12:21:20 GMT

I agree w/Naomi. Maybe this is equality at last in our "family first" society. (Note tongue in cheek). Maybe if I actually got paid for my glamorous "job", I'd be respected more?

re: Stay-At-Home-Dads: Career Suicide?

Naomi — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 11:49:11 GMT

Aside from the part about manliness, everything you describe goes for SAHMs, too. As a society we just don't seem to value childcare; people who choose to stay home with their own children are often viewed with suspicion, and people who make a career of caring for the children whose parents DON'T stay home are paid little and respected even less.