Depressed Dads: Why Aren't We Talking About This More?

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re: Depressed Dads: Why Aren't We Talking About This More?

D-- — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 21:40:32 GMT

Wow this really hits a chord with me. I am a father with 4 kids and constantly feel the pressure to provide. My wife is very capable of getting a job but we decided several years ago that I can make more so it made sense for me to go out there and hunt and gather. But the pressure is intense sometimes to make sure I do a job good enough at work that I don't loose my job and be seen as someone worth promoting and then to go home and have to take the time to talk to each child with 100% of my attention and be interested (or at the very least act it) and then be the husband and listen to my wife go on about the kids, the house, the cars, the bills, extended family...and on...and on....and on....ok its not that bad but some days it sure feels like it.

Luckily I can talk to that woman in my life (ol whats her name) and share what I am feeling even though I kind of feel weak and wimpy when I do but she seems to like that sometimes.....but hey I am a dude and a dad and a husband I can handle it so whateve

re: Depressed Dads: Why Aren't We Talking About This More?

lola — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 23:03:22 GMT

maybe he's just depressed because his wife insists on using 'impact' as a verb? I know I would be!

re: Depressed Dads: Why Aren't We Talking About This More?

Kelly Mills — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 19:25:27 GMT

I think you are right on about the code of silence about dad depression. And I also think we don't talk about it because men don't want to get tarred as weak, emotional, or unable to stoically cope. Unfortunately, it still seems that when anyone talks about it, all kinds of judgments come raining down from people who have no idea what they are talking about. And that's a damn shame because it means dads--and whole families--think they have to suffer alone. Thanks for putting this out there, Jessica.

re: Depressed Dads: Why Aren't We Talking About This More?

maiaoming — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 17:28:27 GMT

My husband has expressed feelings of loneliness and being left out since our daughter was born - b/c even though we both work, nursing has an exclusivity to it he can't share, and my ability to be present with him is severely limited. Also, I haven't been as good at dealing with stress he might have as I was before... why men are expected to become these providers who are outside the family unit in many ways but still must connect with it - well, that's hard - So yes, good questions...

re: Depressed Dads: Why Aren't We Talking About This More?

Kaz — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:47:51 GMT

In my life, I've been surprised about how much my male friends will open up about. I think men do open up to close friends. I think we just don't tell women we do it.

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