How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

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re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

mountain — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 21:42:16 GMT

My first two births were in hospitals and though I wasn't traumatized I certainly was not satisfied. My next 3 births were at home with a traditional (or lay midwife). All 3 experiences were empowering, gentle, and beautiful. I would say that I was/am very pleased with the home births and would recommend home birth to anyone that was not high risk.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

TasteLikeCrazy — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:16:30 GMT

With my daughter's first birthday coming up, I've been thinking a lot about her birth.

I had a birth plan written out, my midwives knew what I wanted and my husband was very supportive.

And then I was a week past due and Cara was having heart decelerations.

I ended up being induced and eventually having a c-section. Let's just say that was a 180 from my birth "plan".

In the end, I wound up with an intelligent, wonderful little girl. But, I can't say that I was/am satisfied with how things played out.

You have to play the hand that you're dealt though and I'm slowly learning to accept that fact.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

Krystal — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 00:43:54 GMT

What a cool topic. I firmly belive that the birth of your baby is a very important, life altering moment. I'v had two. One in the hospital and one at home. The first, the hospital birth, was completely unnerving, unsatisfying, and negative. Nothing went wrong, we were both healthy, but I felt it was entirely out of my hands.I felt hurried and mistrusted.

My second baby was born at home. In a tub of warm water, with classical guitar playing in the backround. Unlike my first birth, I remember the whole thing. This was the most empowering, blissful, yes VERY painful (but pain doesn't always have to=BAD, it's pain with purpose, a guiding pain), wonderful, relaxing, positive experience I have ever had. I was in control. I always knew what MY body needed (we are so programmed to not trust ourselves :( ). The midwives were there to attend my my every whim, along with a doula. It was truly magical, and I gained so much personal strength from that experience. By all means, when something is wrong, hospitals are best, but for the average Jane, homebirth all the way. Very, very satisfied. And, you dont have to put your little sweet one in that car seat until the first check up!

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

Adelheid — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 16:31:38 GMT

Much of the reason I had my baby at home was because of loosing the first one, at 22 weeks, in a hospital. Hospitals freaked me out, but I felt safe at home.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

Asila — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 02:11:12 GMT

Roxanexx-- My second baby died late in the second trimester as well. When people approached me during pregnancy about my third baby and asked questions like, "Do you think you'll have an epidural?" I felt so pissed- like I don't care at ALL how this baby comes out, as long as its alive. I too get jealous about people talking about how natural their births have been. The only baby of mine that came through my vagina was my second baby, already passed. My other two were c-sections. My first baby, a horrible c-section in which the doctor barely knew my name. My third, a wonderful c-section in which everyone in the OR started singing Happy Birthday as soon as my daughter was out. And my D and E, in which my second baby was removed, was also an amazing and positive experience with doctors who were compassionate, warm and carried me through a painful time of life. That being said-I sure do wish the US would do something about the statistics mentioned in this blog.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

Jill — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 15:05:15 GMT

If our maternity care is the best that technology has to offer, why aren't we first in the world for maternal and neonate outcomes? Come on, we are trailing some of the poorest countries in the world.

Women in this country should have the right to choose who will attend the birth of their children. It's all about accepting resposiblity for your own health and that of your family. I'll birth with a midwife unless I need a doctor.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

wordnash — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 06:49:48 GMT

Did "they" really need to conduct a survey to tell us what we already know. Traditional hospital births tend not cater to mothers, but to doctors' schedules. I don't even know why I bothered with a birth plan. To my nurses, it seemed as disposable and insignificant as a tissue. If I didn't hurry up and have my baby (with the "help" of pitocin drip, stripping of the membranes, needle popping of my bag of waters, walking around until I practically bored tracks in the linoleum), I surely would have moved form Labor and Delivery to the OR. Wow - I'm much more bitter about my hospital birth than I thought. My next two children were born at home on nature's clock, when they were ready.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

mags — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 05:55:34 GMT

Initially I had wanted to have my daughter in a birthing center and not a hospital, but my mother and my husband were not on board with me on this. They were both afraid that if there were some sort of emergency the midwives would not have been able to handle it as efficiently as the staff at a hospital. Of course I was not happy that they were not supporting me, but I grudgingly agreed to visit a hospital practice. To my surprise, I found a doctor there that I loved. I also found that they were as receptive to my wishes as the birthing center had been.

As for labor and delivery in the hospital, I was very happy with my experience, even if it was not what I had originally intended. The nursing staff was experienced and supportive. My doctor was great, and when I hesitated when she suggested having my water broken artificially she respected my concern and yielded to my decision. My water broke on its own a couple of hours later.

But, while labor and birth went very well, I did not enjoy the rest of my stay in the hospital. Once we were shifted from the birthing suite to the mother and baby ward it seemed that I could not get comfortable - and I at least had the bed. My husband had to sleep on a folding chair. Nurses were constantly coming in to check on me and the baby. I would just start to breastfeed, which was an ordeal, when a nurse would come in to take the baby's temperature and ask me how many dirty or wet diapers there had been. Then we would get started again and another nurse would come in to take my temperature and check my blood pressure. It was very frustrating. I know if we had gone to the birthing center then we would have gone home a few hours after the baby was born. We were in the hospital for two days and it was horrible. I was so happy to get home. On the whole, however, I have to say I was very lucky to have had such a good experience.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

roxannex — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 23:26:00 GMT

My first baby died late in my second trimester. (Not because of anything my doctor did, but I can't say my care with him was so great.)

So I didn't care what my birthing experience was like with my second child, although it was certainly important to me that I trusted my doctors (OB and Peri), and I did trust them both. My OB was very low intervention and my peri was like, "Yeah. We can get him out at 36 weeks."

I have some...shall we say...issues...with the whole "birthing experience" stuff, because I was very pregnant and came home with no baby. Although its lessened a lot with time, I still have some jealously over the luxury of being able to care about your "experience" rather than just getting out with you and and the baby both alive and healthy.

That said, I ended up being induced at 37 weeks because of high blood pressure and ended up with a c-section after 24 hours of labor that didn't go anywhere. I can't say that was the ideal situation, but I feel that my doctors really tried to do what was best for me and my baby, and my kid is happy and healthy, so I have no regrets.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

Adelheid — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:48:40 GMT

I had an idyllic birthing experience, partially out of luck and partially out of planning. I had my baby at home with a midwife that I trust. Labor was relatively quick and painless and my husband caught. I changed providers at 6 months when my original OB gave me the wrong answers to some very important questions. I walked away from the experience with the conviction that it really is important to interview several doctors and/or midwifes so that you have a choice and are more likely to find the best person to work with you.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

Michelle — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:44:04 GMT

I am grateful for all three of my C-Sections because had I attempted to give birth a century (or less!) ago, I (and likely my child) surely would have died during my first childbirth. My plan during my first pregnancy was to have a natural childbirth in a birthing center. That didn't work out for a multitude of reasons, but my doctor was knowledgeable and respectful and sensitive to my feelings on the matter. In addition, the aftercare I received at after all my births was fabulous (my nurses ROCKED), so I was lucky in that way as well.

The only important thing to me was that I had three healthy babies. I am grateful for the medical procedures (including the pitocin and the epidural) that enabled me to do that.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

Amy Tuteur, MD — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:23:49 GMT

It is ironic that the result of the survey Listening to Mothers II is that the people at the Childbirth Connection are NOT listening to mothers. They think they know better.

The survey actually demonstrates a large disconnect between what the Childbirth Connection defines as a good birth, and what mothers themselves have to say.

The people at the Childbirth Connection feel that technology is overused, there are too many interventions, there are too many C-sections and women are not appropriately informed of the risks of interventions. Their own survey, though, shows that American women have a very different idea of what constitutes a good birth.

However, the actual report shows:

"Mothers generally gave high ratings to the quality of the United States health care system and even higher ratings to the quality of maternity care in the U.S. Their opinions about the impact of the malpractice environment on maternity care, however, recongnized concerns. Large proportions felt that malpractice pressures led to increased charges and unnecessary tests and cesareans, and caused providers to stop offering maternity services. On the other hand, most felt that the malpractice environment caused providers to take better care of their patients.

By law ... women are entitled to full informed consent or informed refusal before expriencing any test or treatment. Most mothers stated that they had fully understood that they had a right to full and complete information ... and to accept or refuse any offered care...

A small proportion of mothers reported experiencing pressure froma health professional to have labor induction (11%), epidural anesthesia (7%) and cesarean section (9%)... Despite the very broad array of interventions presented and experienced ... just a small proportion (10%) had refused anything ..."

So, despite the belief of the people from the Childbirth Connection that women had experienced "unnecessary" interventions, women were overwhelming pleased with their care, understood that they had the right to complete information, yet rarely refused recommended or offered treatments or interventions.

The Childbirth Connection is not "listening to mothers". They produced a report claiming that mother's wishes are being ignored when the data in the report shows that mothers are highly satisfied.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

julielynn — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 20:00:23 GMT

Mine was very unsatisfying. I felt very pushed along by the modern maternity machine, despite being very well educated about that very thing, and oh, so very determined not to let that happen. But I was a first timer, and my doctor (whom I loved) was on vacation and my son three weeks early and my husband terrified that one of us would not be ok. My water broke before labor started, which put us on the path to intervention, and as intervention begets intervention.............Well, just not a good story. I was so drugged up from the emergency c/s I coudl not even hold him until the next morning. I still feel guilty about that, and sorry that I missed those first few amazing hours. Now I am crying. Maybe I would still have needed the c/s without all the interventions (he was coming out face first, not top of head first and I wasn't dilating), maybe not. Maybe without all the pitocin forcing him down artificially he'd have had more time to turn into the proper position. But I'll never know, and that bothers me. A lot.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

Autumn — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 19:54:29 GMT

I think the reason we have a low ranking for birth outcomes is obesity and poor prenatal care in the US. Both also raise the risk of needing a C-section. I am happy with my birth outcome. We both lived. If you want a doctor to follow your birth plan then find one. Don't pick one and then insist they do as you ask. You have to be responsible for your own care. The doctor and the patient work as a team. I am tired of patients blaming doctors because they did not have a wonderful birth experience. Geez! It used to be the leading cause of death for women of child bearing age.

re: How Satisfying Was the Birth of Your Child?

rhare — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 19:28:57 GMT

I am one of the lucky ones. The birth of my child was such a great experience that I fear the next one won't measure up! However, I have to add that I did things to help with the outcome: I wanted a natural birth and changed OBs when I felt my first doctor was not going to be supportive. I took lots of classes and got informed. My husband nearly fainted when I said we were taking a 12 week childbirth class, but it was so intrumental in understanding the process and possibilities of going natural. I also prepared for the possibility that it wouldn't be natural. I wrote a realistic birth plan and took the hospital class to learn about epidurals, caesareans, induction and the hospital procedures. I chose a hospital that was supportive of natural childbirth (two midwives practice there). The staff was incredibly supportive and respectful of my desires and followed my plan. I had great helpers and advocates. My sister (who had two natural births) acted as my doula, and my mother (who had 6 natural births) was there to run interference if I needed it (only once when it came to monitoring the baby). I also took control of the situation and "owned" my birth (for example we took the moitor off when it was interferring with my laboring). I think a lot of people are too afraid to question doctors becasue they want to do whatever is best for the baby. I have heard so many horror stories, so I just feel really fortunate.