Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

Tere — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:59:38 GMT

Funny, just saw this post and I recently wrote about this -- am a co-sleeper who loves it in many ways and dislikes it in others...

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

Amanda — Mon, 05 Nov 2007 15:12:11 GMT

I definitely subscribe to "There ain't a one-size fits all solution" for anything related to parenting. We co-slept with our first for well over a year, our second, sheesh, she wants nothing to do with it, and this little guy in my belly? Taking a wait and see approach.

As is evidenced here, judgement runs deep in this realm, it's a shame. If there's one place a little bit of acceptance or tolerance would really help all concerned, it's parenting. We're all just winging it.

Would You Like to Write for Strollerderby?

Strollerderby — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 17:47:12 GMT

You too can look as good as Mike Adamick (pictured right) and win friends and influence people call yourself a writer... all while having a great time covering today's breaking news about parenting and childraising and everything in between. Here

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

bbbgmom — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 01:58:33 GMT

Guessing this thread is now dead as it is so far down the list. But I was floored that a few readers did not get the tongue in cheek tone... wow. Like someone said earlier, could it be that your hypersensitivity might be due to not being entirely confident in the choice you made? Anyone who takes offense at the sarcastic "baby cage" reference needs to CHILL. I have co-slept out of laziness... easier to breastfeed. I've not had any issues transitioning a kid to a big bed at two (kid #1) or three (kid #2.) Some people think co-sleeping should be limitless and I disagree. A colleague slept with her son through his adolesence (she is a single mom) and I think there are boundary issues with that. Just my opinion so please nobody get hurt feelings by THAT comment...

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

Bridggymama — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 01:12:36 GMT

Co-slept with the first child for 18 months and only started to dislike it when he became a kicker! He also HATED the crib, HATED it. Once he actually threw himself out of the crib at 13 months..yeah he HATED it. Anyway he got a toddler bed at 18 months and sleeps in it..most of the time, and loved it because it was his own pint sized bed.

We;re cosleeping with number tow as well, and I started doing it because of nursing. It was just easier for me to get sleep at night if I co-slept and I love the extra cuddle time. We do own one of those co-sleep things that attaches to the bed and it works but often she is right next to me. I read all the Dr Sears stuff about how to do it safely and some of the Dr Mckenna (spelling?) studies and blah blah blah, so I did my geek out research on it, after the fact (because so many people TOTALLY freak out over co-sleeping and I wanted to make sure I wasn't doing something freakishly dangerous).

Anyway co-sleeping and nursing is fun times if you can handle it, and honestly I think many people co sleep those first few weeks because the poor baby ust went from all cuddly and warm in-utero for 9 months to a very large and confusing world, so they tend, in my expirence, to sleep better close and cuddled for the first long while. And yes it can be tricky to transition them to sleeping alone, but I have noticed that alot of my firends, regardless of how they got their kids to sleep- alone, co-sleeping ferber etc, end up with kiddies in the bed at various stages of their development for at lest part of the night.

oh and ps,

some dr's, esp Dr Sears think that co-sleeping and the attachment parenting strategy can make very well adjusted fully orbed children yada yada

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

Jessica Ashley (Sassafrass) — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 18:57:44 GMT

You are freaking hilarious and brilliant. More cage matches! More cage matches!

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

arirang — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 03:50:15 GMT

I refer to the crib as a baby cage all the time. because it is a holding pen, after all.

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

Nova Mommy — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 01:07:38 GMT

I think "baby cages" is hilarious, and that's coming from a mother who used one for over two years.

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

Lo — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 18:46:18 GMT

I co-slept for the few 6 months or so mostly because I was breast feeding and it was a way for me to get some sleep while the baby nursed, but then something happened. My daughter decided that she was going to squirm non-stop throughout the whole night and keep me from getting any sleep (no sleep for her either really). So I begrudgingly put her in the crib at night to sleep. But my formerly co-sleeping baby still wanted comfort every few hours so for the next few months I never got more than 2 hours of sleep at a time...that was fun. I made the decision that we had to get her to sleep through the night. Our "ferberizing"(although we didn't really use that method) only took one night and about 10 minutes of crying and praise the lord we all got to sleep. And my daughter was a much happier baby.

So co-sleeping works for some people and not for others. I think it is great if you can do it. If not...so be it. I think we all make way to big a deal out of where a baby sleeps. Don't you think there are more important issues to discuss? Stop being so dramatic..."baby caging"...give me a break.

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

anon — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 04:36:27 GMT

Obviously this is supposed to be facetious and get a reaction. I think anyone truly offended maybe doesn't feel comfortable with the decisions they've made. But which ever way you chose to go, I believe in doing what feels right and works for you and your family. If that's co-sleeping, great! If you can't sleep a wink with a squirmy babe next to you, by all means, put them in their own sleep space.

But, as for many (perhaps most)other cultures practicing sleep sharing, this has nothing to do with all those horrible things mentioned by Melanie. Seriously? That kind of defensiveness makes ya wonder...

In Japanese culture, the entire extended family often sleeps in one big room covered with sleeping mats. Babies start out sleeping with mom, then move through the room as they get older, eventually sleeping alongside siblings. Sharing a sleep space is indeed a natural and common practice for humans. But our westernized culture has made this shameful, just as we've made boobs a sex object rather than a source of sustenance for our babies.

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

Dwtintx — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 02:18:13 GMT

I'm with Amy and Mom2Two. I didn't fail to recognize the supposed humor- I see that it was supposed to be funny. But as wordnash said, we parents judge each other SO much, that reading such judgment, even in jest, comes off a little bitter and offensive. Co-sleeping or not is just a choice, and neither way is going to screw up our kids. I guess we feel that different choices are implicit criticisms of the way we're doing things. But really they are just different, and there's a wide range of parenting choices that will result in our kids turning into normal adults. Why all the hate if someone does it differently, so long as no one gets hurt?

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

wordnash — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 23:15:25 GMT

I second CoolAuntieTina on recognizing the fetecious tone ... but also, there's something very valid and serious about how much we mothers judge each other, failing to recognize that none of us are perfect and that each of our children are individual little people with individual needs and proclivities. Judge, judge, judge, that's all we moms do. Madeline's bravely giving voice to what so many of us secretly think or say behind the backs of our mom friends (and sometimes, enemies). Thank you for being so honest, Madeline. Ps. I co-sleep starting at 4 or 5 a.m. every day. My daughter, 3 today, climbs into bed with us and I quite like to snuggle her. She co-slept with us until she was 2.5.

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

CoolAuntieTina — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 22:34:15 GMT

Am I the only one who thought this post was hilariously funny? It's supposed to be sarcastic, and it got you to comment, right?

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

Autumn — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 21:26:10 GMT

I want to raise independant kids so I let them sleep in their own cribs next to my bed. Then I transitioned them to their own rooms. I want them to survive without me someday. That is the goal of parenting little people. To raise independant humnas who can care for themselves, contribute to society and think for themselves. SElf reliance is a virtue. Every co-sleeping, homeschooled kid I know has to check with their mom (twin) about everything. If she drops dead I guess they will have to chuck the kid in with her.

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

Mom2Two — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 20:14:37 GMT

I agree with Amy.

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

roxannex — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 19:21:53 GMT

Ha! This was funny. I kind of wanted to co-sleep, but it never worked out. When he was tiny I couldn't sleep with him in the room. (He was in a co-sleeper thing attached to our bed.) I kept freaking out and couldn't sleep because I couldn't stop checking to make sure he was breathing.

Then when he got bigger and I got saner, he slept great in his swing. He slept in that thing until he was 6 months old.

Now I wish he would co-sleep sometimes, but he won't. He thinks it's playtime. He only sleeps in his crib, and we got really lucky on the sleep=f front. I'm one of those women you hate with the kid who goes right to sleepy at 7PM and waked up at 7:30AM. So I'm not gonna rock the boat.

I slept with my mother far past the age of when it gets a little creepy. She had cable in her room. I turned out kind of normal.

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

REM — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 19:14:02 GMT

I am co-sleeping with toddler #3. The first 2 were "cage babies." Had no problem with it then, but now I regret what I put the first two babies through. Now 6 and 4 1/2, I see insecurities in them that may have been fostered by lack of needed emotional care at night. Wasn't that supposed to make them more "independent?" That's such a westernized, twentieth century load of crack.

I can see why some parents may be offended by this post, I guess. In the western world we get way too offended when people state opinions that do not affirm our own beliefs, . Hello, it does not invalidate you as a person when someone disagrees with you! If you feel "judged" as a parent, maybe you should ask yourself why do you care so much what others think? Get over it!

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

chyna823 — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 18:32:42 GMT

Calling non-co-sleepers "baby-cagers" is just a blatant attempt to start a flame war. Don't we get judged enough for our parenting choices without you starting something on purpose?

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

AmyinMotown — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 17:21:14 GMT

I'm assuming that the incredibly bitchy and judgemental tone of this post is in jes? If not, how freakin' bad is Strollerderby scraping the bottom of the barrel for writers?

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

SmartMama — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 17:17:21 GMT

At what point do you stop letting your child share your bed? Isn't it a lot harder to train a 6-year-old to sleep on their own than it would be to train a two-month-old?

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

mcglory13 — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 17:16:01 GMT

Our baby cosleeps at home sometimes. He started daycare when he was in a cosleeping phase. They had zero issue getting him to nap on his own... they just put him down and patted him to sleep. We are insanely jealous, as napping for us before that involved pushing him in a stroller or hours of rocking, shushing, bouncing, jiggling etc. He associated cosleeping with us (and my boobs), so that had no affect on sleeping at day care.

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

LogicalMama — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 16:12:26 GMT

Co-slept and loved it!

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

crunchy — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 16:03:17 GMT

I don't think co sleeping really has anything to do with whether a kid can go to sleep on their own or not...it is two different issues.

I have a friend who spends over an HOUR putting their 3 year old to bed..much laying down with her in HER bed. A huge production.

Teaching good sleep habits have nothing to do with where your kid is actually sleeping.

Co sleeping has nothing to do with if you have to walk or rock your kid to sleep at night to get them to settle down...that has to do with helping them learn to settle themselves WHEREVER they are sleeping. My kids have tended to nap on the couch. When they were young they napped anywhere....on me, or not. They didn't NEED me.

We must also remember that all kids are different too. AND they all go through phases. Adam was always a rough GETTING to sleep kid..but I blame my first time parenting more than anything on that. He is fine now...he knows how to settle himself after a good night kiss and a story. Caity goes to sleep with a kiss good night and that is it.

Though she is now very restless (at 3) and so we are finding BOTH of them in our bed again...but hey...the do tend to sleep longer and better in our bed and that is fine.

Adam and Caity never really co slept...though a bassinet was in our room and Adam's crib was in our room for ever too.

We just have an open bed policy...however, they both can fall asleep in our bed alone or with us. The big bed is there if they need it.

Co sleeping does not make needy children in my opinion. That is parenting. Wherever the kid sleeps.

crunchycarpets.com/.../298

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

E's Mom — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 14:24:38 GMT

Daycare makes a suberb point. I was terrified of my baby not knowing how to sleep on his own at daycare. That fear drove me to teach him at 5 weeks how to sleep on his own. He's pretty much been a great sleeper since then. We can put him to bed in his crib awake and he puts himself to sleep, which is what everyone has to learn at some point in their lives. I mean we don't get to continue being rocked to sleep, or nursed to sleep, or cuddled to sleep for our entire lives, do we?

re: Strollerderby Smackdown! We Fight the Co-Sleeping Wars So You Don't Have To

Melanie — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 14:23:10 GMT

This post is really offensive. You certainly did your job to inflame. Each family does what they have to do to make life work for them. Baby cage? PLEASE!

And, I'd also like to point out that not only have some cultures slept with their babies for centuries, some cultures have also hunted their food with spears, practiced clitorectomies, engaged in firing squads, etc. So let's not get all anthropological.