Keeping Twins Together Can Be Good, Group Says

re: Keeping Twins Together Can Be Good, Group Says

Alisa — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 16:48:19 GMT

I think my twin actually posted above thread :)

I am also very thankful that we were allowed to develop at our own speeds and in separate spaces as children. And even though we live completely different adult lives, we speak almost every day and live only blocks apart from each other. Our bond was not disturbed by encouraging our unique personalities.

re: Keeping Twins Together Can Be Good, Group Says

Mom2Two — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 18:19:14 GMT

It wasn't that long ago that the celebs in the photo requested they be called Mary-Kate and Ashley instead of 'the Olson twins' because they are two unique people and should be treated as such.

I don't have twins, but I agree with those who think it should be a decision made on a case by case basis.

re: Keeping Twins Together Can Be Good, Group Says

Valorie Delp — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 16:41:01 GMT

My twins are same sex fraternal twins who look and act pretty similar--yet are of course unique as well. We homeschool so it's really not an issue but I really feel that this is a decision best left to parents. I don't think that there is ever a one size fits all prescription in situations like these. To say one decision over the other is better for all twins is fool hearty IMO.

But as a parent of both singletons and twins, I can say that the bond the twins share is entirely unique to being twins. They are socially, completely different than their siblings were/are in terms of their ability to relate and empathize with one another. Their bond is unique unto themselves and while they're close to their siblings it's different.

They are happy to be together and they are happy to be seperated actually. . .depending on the activity. . .but I always leave it up to them. I think for us, forcing them to be seperate just for the sake of being seperate wouldn't serve them well.

This is btw, a great article! ;-)

re: Keeping Twins Together Can Be Good, Group Says

rebecca — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:50:18 GMT

I guess everyone's experiences are different. I am an identical twin and I am forever grateful that our parents insisted that we be placed in different classes, had different hair styles and were never dressed the same. I believe that it helped us to develop our own, unique identities and interests. Twins often have problems with social integration (this is still something I struggle with, and I'm almost 30!), and it would have been even more difficult to suddenly have to act as separate individuals upon entering the adult world without some earlier experience with boundaries and sense of individuality -- I cannot even imagine the trauma of suddenly going off to separate colleges, working at different jobs or moving in with a partner if there had been no physical and intellectual separation before that point.

re: Keeping Twins Together Can Be Good, Group Says

kristen — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:39:09 GMT

I have boy/girl twins who are in preschool. We'd like to keep them in the same class for at least the first few years of school. They are very different personality-wise, but definitely draw comfort from being able to look across the room and see each other. This probably is more of an issue for those of you with identical twins, although our twins are the only twins in their entire school, which is pre-K thru 5th grade. Many teachers and students just say, "Good morning, twins!", and we have to ask them to call them by name, which I think is a problem.

Ultimately, I think it should be up to the parents to make this call, as we know them best. Most parents do want to encourage independence in our multiples, but it should be on our terms, when we feel it won't be detrimental to their growing process.

re: Keeping Twins Together Can Be Good, Group Says

leigh — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 12:50:32 GMT

my twins are turning 5 today and they are identical. we live in nc. and i think it would be good to keep them together because my littlest one looks up to her sister and gets nervous when she's not there..

re: Keeping Twins Together Can Be Good, Group Says

catem — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 07:07:26 GMT

My twins are also same sex fraternal girls that are 20 months' old and look/act nothing alike, too...and I agree about keeping them together, at least in the beginning or until it's clear that separation would be better. Bottom line, I second the "parent's choice" vote.

ps - these days twins are not such the novelty as there are so many, so perhaps it's not as "exotic" as it once was.

re: Keeping Twins Together Can Be Good, Group Says

corina — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 03:59:39 GMT

I have an 8 year old and 20 mth old twins. My twins are same sex fraternal so I don't feel the same "pressure" that the parents of identical twins might feel to encourage individuality.They couldn't already be more different. I don't believe that separating twins is a good idea when they first start school. School is a challenging transition and to lose your lifelong constant companion at the same time, would be quite traumatic. I believe that whether or not to separate siblings should be decided on a case by case basis, primarily by the parents with the input of the teachers. As long as my children are doing well academically and emotionally, I would prefer them to be in the same class for the first 1-3 years of school because of the practicalities....I am hoping to catch a break!LOL