Divorce Not Bad For Kids

re: Divorce Not Bad For Kids

Madeline B. — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 16:13:15 GMT

I think that it is the approach to the divorce that makes all the difference. For example, if a couple tries to keep the focus on their kids and doing what is best for them, then there will be less negative fallout from the divorce and a much better chance that the family unit will become stronger after the divorce because the parents are finally able to work as a team.

re: Divorce Not Bad For Kids

bookmama — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 21:49:35 GMT

Divorce won't ruin your life, but it sure as heck doesn't make it any easier. The worst part about divorced parents? The problem NEVER GOES AWAY. I'm 33 and every holiday, every vacation, every visit that involves only one parent leads to guilt and trouble for me. And having them both in the same room? Totally horrifying.

If you're going to be divorced, at least try to remember that you loved each other enough at one point to have kids, and continue to remember that for ever and ever. It's a bitch to have to mediate between parents, defend my choices to see one parent and not the other, and try to have a celebration (marriage, graduations, baptisms, etc) with everyone in my real family present. Now that there's a grandchild, the problem is only getting worse.

That said, I'm very glad my parents divorced; it was for the best. But ugh.

re: Divorce Not Bad For Kids

Anomymous — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 13:54:26 GMT

I'm an only child whose parents stayed together because they thought it was what was best for me. Obviously, I haven't experienced the other path, but having parents who fought constantly staying together because of me was no picnic, and growing up I often wished and prayed that my parents would just divorce already. Don't stay togehter for the children's sake. A househould full of anger and resentment isn't a safe and stable one.

re: Divorce Not Bad For Kids

Nicole — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 04:14:41 GMT

I come from a family that has seen a lot of divorce. My bio-parents divorced, then mom and my legally-adoptive dad divorced. All of my parents--mom, biological father, and adoptive father--remarried others who already had kids, and, in some cases, had more kids following their marriages. I have no biological siblings, but instead 11 half- and step-siblings. Divorce is really, really hard, and has lasting effects on everyone involved. My siblings and I surely have issues stemming from our upbringing. BUT, no one gets out of childhood unscathed--every adult, even those from stable, balanced households, has his or her share of hang-ups. And I thank God every day for the six loving parents and 11 great brothers and sisters that divorce has brought into my life.

re: Divorce Not Bad For Kids

Cat — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 02:45:26 GMT

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for sharing this. I'm in the midst of a divorce and we share a 3 year old daughter. Our primary focus during this entire process has been on her and her well being. We are as honest with her as the situation calls for while trying not to overload her with details that don't concern her. We are taking parenting classes together and speak daily. Yet, I still feel guilt for not being able to give her the traditional nuclear family that I grew up with. Thank you for sharing this and reassuring me that divorce isn't the worst thing in the world.