The Cookie Cutter Approach to Parenting: It Still Doesn't Work

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Lion and Magic Boy » Blog Archive » my mom is cool — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 02:46:42 GMT

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re: The Cookie Cutter Approach to Parenting: It Still Doesn't Work

Sheri — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 04:39:59 GMT

First kid, colic and screaming didn't sleep for MONTHS...even after that I had to sleep in front of his door on the floor for him to go to sleep without waking up at 3 am to flood a bathroom or two. My second two slept through at 4 weeks and 5 1/2 weeks. So that part of it is easy for me. The hard part is that now the first kid is 17!!!! Help!!! Dealing with a teen is hard....especially when he is autistic and used to getting his own way. Eeeeekkkkkk!!!!! I'll take the baby stage anyday!!!!

re: The Cookie Cutter Approach to Parenting: It Still Doesn't Work

Kristina — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 01:59:35 GMT

No, it doesn't come naturally to me, and no, I'm glad there is not a parenting manual for the very same reasons you cite in your post. I deal with parental guilt and anxiety by talking it out with friends, blogging, and reading Strollerderby. :)

Wonderful post. You really captured the frustration that we all share but is so hard to express without resorting to tired cliches.

re: The Cookie Cutter Approach to Parenting: It Still Doesn't Work

RachelZ — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 23:18:30 GMT

What gets me through the day is a raging superiority complex. No, I don't do this parenting thing like everyone else because I'M BETTER AT IT. And if you think about it, that's the truth: nobody can parent this kid better than we can.

Except the cat, maybe.

So even though I read pretty much everything I can get my paws on, I take a lot of it with a grain of salt and use what works for me and discard the rest.

I never, ever worry about what anyone else thinks of my parenting because they aren't the ones doing it. Therefore I don't stress or worry about it. It's very freeing.

re: The Cookie Cutter Approach to Parenting: It Still Doesn't Work

Jackie — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 22:24:57 GMT

I agree with you 100%!

In my opinion, each parent is an "expert" to his or her own child. Yes, we will need advice from time to time but that advice may or may not work for our child. It is up to you the parent to decide what works best for your family.

When my son was small we broke every one of the rules that the so-called expert listed. Guess what? My son never had trouble sleeping through the night. My husband and I decided he is only going to be little for a short time and we did everything we could to show him he was and is loved and cared for. He is 15 years old now and trust me I would love to have him crawl in bed with us and snuggle for just a little while. I’m allotted 4 kisses a day and I still get hugs. If I’m lucky he may bless me with one or two more. ENJOY THE TIME YOU HAVE NOW! I wouldn’t give up the time we shared or the sleep lost for anything in the world. Those are the memories that get this parent of a teen through the days I don’t get more than the allotted kisses. Again, I’m lucky I still get love from him. My sisters son’s don’t give her that much. Love your baby’s up now because in a blink of an eye they will be in college.

re: The Cookie Cutter Approach to Parenting: It Still Doesn't Work

Stacie — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 22:13:02 GMT

Why aren't these dad's sleep "mistakes" too?

re: The Cookie Cutter Approach to Parenting: It Still Doesn't Work

Liz — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 21:02:54 GMT

Mistake? Mistake? How about a dose of reality in the article. The reality is that as parents we all set high standards for outselves and don't need more evidence of our own "shortcomings..." In my "reality" I don't have a baby that sleeps through the night, I work full time and struggle to maintain a sense of self and accomplish everything that is on my mythical "to-do list"

So I will nap when my baby naps, I will stay in his room until he nods of [or gasp! rock him to sleep or bring him to bed with me to nurse when it is the third time he has been up since 9pm and I have to get to work for 8 am]... because I am just going to do what I have to do to get by and hopefully raise a happy wonderful child- even if he does sleep with me a few hours once or twice a week :-'0

re: The Cookie Cutter Approach to Parenting: It Still Doesn't Work

Leah — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 20:46:04 GMT

I think the biggest problem is that a lot of the stuff that comes naturally is stuff "experts" recommend against. Like sharing a bed, etc. I trust my instincts more than I trust doctors and other experts, but that's not true for most people.

re: The Cookie Cutter Approach to Parenting: It Still Doesn't Work

Sara — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 20:21:49 GMT

I completely agree! I had the exact same reaction to that article when I read it! That was one of those articles that makes me think, WHY do I subscribe to this? It seems like so many articles are doing just what you say-criticizing parenting choices, not offering realistic advice. I'm so tired of the guilt-inducing article!

Like you said, parenting is the best thing ever, but it IS hard. On so many issues...why can't we all just empathize and support one another? I'm actually a specialist in child development and behavior problems, and I still question almost everything I do. But, if there was a parenting manual, I'm sure I'd disagree with at least half of it anyway...I'm oppositional like that. :)

Great post!