Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

curlygirl — Thu, 15 May 2008 14:23:12 GMT

I second the "Blessings of a Skinned Knee" recommendation. Its a great book.

This all reminds me of my husband's credo "pain is a good teacher" -- I don't mean to sound awful, we would never stand by and watch our son do something that would cause serious damage. But he has to be able to be a kid and try things out for himself.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Thu, 15 May 2008 13:42:27 GMT

One of my favorite books -- nice choice.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

Girliegirl — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:43:05 GMT

Read "The Blessings of a Skinned Knee". Same philosophy. We can't bubble wrap our kids through childhood and expect them to grow up to be adults with reasonable expectations regarding risk and danger.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

MamaS — Tue, 13 May 2008 22:32:32 GMT

Samantha...sometimes it actually helps to laugh when they fall--if they laugh with you, they're not hurt too bad, right? If you freak out and grab them and cry, "oh, no, Baby, are you okay?" They freak out and start bawling and think every fall is a big tragedy! Keep laughing!

Mike...that's a great picture--she's so cute!

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

g8grl — Tue, 13 May 2008 21:04:36 GMT

looks as though she was well padded. What more do they want

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

Samantha — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:32:27 GMT

you are a better person than me at least--I giggled when I saw the picture! I am sooo evil. I try not to actually laugh in front of my child when she falls, but damn.

As the above people say, it's not like the kiddos are getting seriously hurt. Kids fall when they are learning to walk/run/move around. Heck, I still fall over and I'm over thirty. And people laugh at me all the time.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

Mike Adamick (Cry It Out!) — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:27:57 GMT

Hurt but not injured is a pretty good philosophy, Alex. Well said.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

steffmarcusky — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:11:43 GMT

I especially agree with chyna823 - how the hell do you have time to keep your kid from falling. I'm thinking that if you took the picture that early in the fall, you were already about to take a picture and the fall occured, not the fall occured and you decided to take a picture.

I might have winced at the picture and wondered to myself about someone helping your daughter, but had enough sense not to bother to post about it. Jeez, people - so judgmental.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

pickel — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:09:24 GMT

My son was adopted at 2 and was severely delayed. If I had hovered over him he would have never been able to develop and try to catch up. I let him fall, pick himself back up, and fall again. Isn't that how kids learn to walk in the first place?

My mother asks me why I don't hover over him at the playground and monitor him more closely. Because he has to learn cause and effect. Me telling him is not going help him.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

Emma — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:01:50 GMT

Wow, I'm amazed that people actually wrote to you about your kid tripping on a curb. Where do they find the time while simultaneously saving all small people in the vicinity from any scrapes or bruises??

I'm with you and the other commenters... as long as your kid isn't going to seriously hurt themselves, let them learn for themselves. Plus I hate being a nag - I'll tell my kid a couple of times that something he's doing might hurt, but if he keeps doing it and does get hurt, it's a way better lesson about what is and isn't a good idea.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

chyna823 — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:24:10 GMT

And if any of those helicopter parents think they could move fast enough to stop a 2-year-old from tripping? They must have superpowers that I don't.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

EllaAnne — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:20:52 GMT

I'm the only one at the playground who doesn't hover, and also the only one with a kid who isn't constantly falling off stuff. Coincidence?

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

Alex — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:20:24 GMT

My husband and I have developed a philosophy on this: let them get hurt, but not injured. A fall from a curb - fine, fall from a second story window - not so fine.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

Manjari — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:12:41 GMT

I think I might be a little overprotective sometimes, but my kids are only 18 months old.

From the photos of your daughter falling - it just doesn't look that bad. It's not like you photographed her falling from a great height.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

BBBGMOM — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:59:16 GMT

I would've done just as you did. I totally know what you are saying about the screamy indignant parents. We all know some of those. The ones at the playground who hover and freak about the tiniest "mishap." The parents who intervene at any hint of a conflict over the teeter totter... Argh. Kids learn by taking "safe" risks. We help guide them by not allowing certain risks (i.e. running out into the street or jumping off the dock when they can't swim.) To me, if the worst thing that could happen involves a scrape, maybe even a little blood, or a bruise, then it's a learning opportunity.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

MissB — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:51:12 GMT

In this world there are many people who can't be convinced of their own self-worth until they have convinced themselves they are better than you. Fuck them.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

megg — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:39:17 GMT

I'm trained in early childhood development and in the course we discussed the difference between risk and danger. Most things kids do involve risk - as you say, that's how they learn to make judgments and to control their bodies. As a teacher it's a tricky line to tread, but as a parent I think you're spot on.

re: Babble Ethics: Let Your Kids Get Hurt

pfunc — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:32:24 GMT

Ahhh the helicopter parents strike again!!!