Babble

 Hi there,

 I would really appreciate some honest and constructive feedback. I was in an indoor playspace this morning with my two year old son and he is at the stage where sharing is very difficult. He is my second child but I have always felt it is hard for me to deal with these situations. Some mums just seam to be so graceful at handling these things. So anyways, we were at the playspace and he became very attached to a car. He would play with it and then find something else and play for a while but every time another child started playing with the car he would run and grab it away from them and start fighting over it. The first time it happened, I came over and told him not to grab it, share and tried to give him another toy and another car but he would not even look at these toys he had his mind set on that car and would not let go of it. The other little boy seemed to be very mellow and just walked away. So I just thought, well since the other little boy doesn't really care, I let my son keep the car. I did tell him that if it happened again we would have to leave. So it happened again with a different boy who was as determined as my son to have the toy. My son saw that this boy was playing with the car, rant to him and grabbed it from him and started fighting over it. I tried to distract him by giving him another car and a ball but he would not let go. So he is screaming and the other boy is screaming and I just felt as if all the mothers and caretakers are giving me a dirty look. I finally managed to have him let go of the car and I went and sat with him in a corner and explained that he could  not be grabbing toys away like that from the children and that we would have to leave because he was not sharing. So I left, but as I was walking home I just had this bad feeling of not beeing able to deal properly with tantrums. I feel as a second time mom, this shoudl just be second nature but it isn't. How would you have responded differently. Any ideas, feedback, stories would be appreciated.

 Many Thanks!
 

I think the great thing is you followed through.  Sharing is so hard to get them to understand, my 3 yr has a hard time.  I would have left as well.  I would think the next time I'd bring his own toy or just make sure he knows that you will leave again (remind him if you have to).  Keep doing this or give him a time out there at the playscape.

I think every mother understands what you're going through.  If you didn't do anything I'm sure you'd get dirty looks.  We all feel judged at those moments but truth be told may be some of them were looking for some tips.

Hang in there.

Don't feel so bad. I too had this problem once and I quickly looked it up and found this article:

http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_your-2-year-old-timeline-share-no-way_3651330.pc

They aren't really ready to share at this age, nor do they understand the concept very well. Like the previous post says, at least you did follow through. Just be firm, and if that doesn't work remove him form the situation completely the way you did. Good luck!

 Hi, I just saw your post.... I really appreciate you putting a voice to what I feel when my child (just over a year old) does this!  You are not alone and I appreciate your follow through.  You really did handle it well, don't despair!  I have to say that you are "projecting" with the other moms and the dirty looks.  Really, if that had been my child and your child with the car, no dirty looks here. You were active, engaged and trying to be consistent with your son.  It isn't easy to be perfectly consistent with the toy issue- just do your best.  

And remember, most moms are stressed out by their kids at some point every day.  You and I and all the other parents out there are in the same boat.  We won't always see eye to eye, but we can give each other the benefit of the doubt!