feedback for "Five-Minute Time Out: The Boy Crisis"

1. I couldn't agree more. I am the daughter of a teacher and the mother of two boys. My oldest just started kindergarten. My mom is so worried about their school experience - because she sees that kindergarten ain't what it used to be. Between packing in the curriculum (most of which was the brainchild of people at the state dept who couldn't hack it as teachers) and trying to squeeze in breakfast and lunch and snacks - there's almost no recess and there's absolutely no free play in the classroom. My son has an excellent teacher - but her classroom looks more like my 3rd grade classroom than my kindergarten one. I work very hard at home to find and read books that will be interesting to boys - he's not behind in anything yet - but I fear once boredom sets in he will be.
   
   I also agree that this is a problem exacerbated by bigger social issues - not a result of us focusing on girls. In some ways, these same issues hurt many girls too. Our state departments are sucking the life out of our classrooms. They're looking for ways to make teachers better when, in reality, it is our parents that have drastically changed in the last 20 years - not the teachers.
   
   I love the thought of my son going to a classroom designed for boys - and if I had a girl, I imagine I would feel the same way. There's nothing sexist about labeling a boy -a boy, and catering to those aspects of his personality that are distinctly different.
   
   http://heyyourememberme.blogspot.com

   posted by : that girl on 10/10/2008 at 2:42 PM Flag For Abuse

2. Jeez Louise. Homeschooling is looking better every day.
   
   My father (80 yrs old) told me that he had to stay behind at school *every single day* of his first grade year. His teacher (whom he had a crush on, which I suspect had something to do with it) reportedly said, "X isn't a bad boy. He just keeps the class in a constant uproar!" Nowadays she'd probably be referring him to a child shrink to get Ritalinized. (My father, who has a genius-level IQ, eventually had a very successful career as an aerospace engineer.)
   
   Boys *are* different and they need a longer rein. Our toddler twin boys will NOT be Ritalinized!

   posted by : Anon on 10/10/2008 at 4:04 PM Flag For Abuse

3. I agree that the changes in school are very much a problem for all kids. However, its sexist to argue that less recess/more desk time privileges girls - its simply not true that girls are quieter and calmer and need less play. They may be conditioned to fill that role better, but its not a natural difference. I'm female and was terrible at remaining seated and doing my worksheets.
   
   I think a major reason for girls outperforming boys is that they know that they have to. Looking around, you see lots of men performing blue collar jobs, without a college education, making a good living. Those jobs are out there. But pink collar jobs that don't require a college education aren't nearly as well paying. The wage gap drives girls to succeed educationally, because they just don't have other good options.

   posted by : anon on 10/10/2008 at 4:33 PM Flag For Abuse

4. anon at 4:33, do you think Kindergarten girls actually think through their futures to the degree that they are motivated to sit still for longer periods of time? So they will do well enough to go to college since being a lunch lady or a receptionist isn't going to pay the bills? I think there IS a hardwired difference between the sexes. I am a feminist mother of two boys and a girl. I see the differences every day. My sons need to run about a mile a day at full speed to get the bugs out of their system and allow them to be calm and focused. My girl is active and strong, but she has a much deeper well from which to draw when it comes to staying on task and containing her physical self. I certainly would never want to take recess or phy ed away from any child, but I know that most of the girls I know would be "OK" in that they would be able to read, play cards, draw, etc. while most of the boys I know would go absolutely bonkers without the physical outlet.

   posted by : BBBGMOM on 10/10/2008 at 7:57 PM Flag For Abuse

5. I was talking to a child psychologist recently and he told me about doing a survey at a huge Montessori school in our area. He said 70 % of the BOYS at the school are on medication for behavior. I said "So they wont act like boys?" and he laughed and said yes. Montessori is quiet, introspective, orderly. Young boys are adventurous, loud, funny, silly. And they learn just fine while being who they are. But not in public schools. My daughter had a sweet boy in her K class branded as "bad" because he "touched things he wasnt suppossed to touch" or talked too much, or finally threw tantrums out of frustration after being scolded so much all day. She said he had no friends, no one liked him because they were afraid he would talk to them and get them into trouble. How tragic. How lonely. He has no one to play with or sit with in class because of the stupid rules about how kids have to act in class. They have to act like they are not children. I feel so sorry for that boy and all the other kids just like him. Creative, intelligent, inquisitive, adventuresome kids. All choked down and put on drugs to make it easier for them to "learn". We as parents go along with it since we were also brainwashed to think that the education of our children is best left to professionals. This little boy is black too. I just know since we live in the South he was pegged right off as trouble by his white teachers. They really dont see these kids,especialy rambunctiotous boys, as anything but a bother to control. The hispanic and black girls are ignored unless they assert themselves. Then they are branded as trouble makers too. Our education system is one size fits all and if your child doesnt fit the mold it must be the fault of your child.
   
   The same shrink told me if a child is having difficulty in a situation it just seems easier to change the situation rather than try to change the child. I took his advice. I homeschool my loud, assertive, intelligent, creative kids now. They are 1-2 grades ahead of their peers but most of all they are happy, proud of themselves and want to learn. They dont think they are bad or stupid or trouble anymore. I do not think they ever were.

   posted by : Alice on 10/10/2008 at 11:10 PM Flag For Abuse

6. Is homeschooling our only option. Why is it that so many parents are recognizing the fact that boys in general are in trouble at the elementary level? My PreK son has only 20 minutes of play time a day. That's it and he is only 4 years old! He has nightmares about being good, not being able to read as well as some other kids in his class, etc. My heart is breaking.... because I fear this experience may be breaking him. Because we have taught him not to fight back he gets picked on by other boys who have not been taught that. Nightmares about that also ensue. Good grief..... he needs to be around other children daily, he craves it, but he is having a hard time with so many rules and regulations. I just don't know how to help him.

   posted by : Junebug on 10/11/2008 at 9:19 AM Flag For Abuse

7. It is true -- and supported by much research -- as much as we feminists and mothers of little boys don't want to admit it -- that boys are wired differently than boys, and unless we start to gear classrooms and instruction to their unique needs, the crisis will continue.
   
   The International Reading Association, a nonprofit literacy organization of teachers, administrators, and literacy specialists, is publishing a new book in December titled Bright Beginnings for Boys: Engaging Young Boys in Active Literacy. In it the authors present extensive research about the developmental and cognitive differences of boys in K-3. And they present numerous solutions for meeting the challenge in the classroom and at home. The book also provides teachers and parents with an extensive annotated list of picture books to use to not only engage boys with reading, but also to provide them with positive messages about being a boy.
   
   I urge you to spread the word about Bright Beginnings for Boys to your sons' teachers, because this book does much more than just sound the alarm -- it presents real strategies for putting out the fire. Read more at www.reading.org, or e-mail me at tbachman@reading.org.

   posted by : MelloMama on 10/11/2008 at 5:27 PM Flag For Abuse

8. as long as we "empower" only 1/2 of the classroom, we will continue to yield these alarming results. they've tilted the opportunities available to kids to always favor the girls. when two children break the rules in exactly the same way, the boy is always, always, punished far more severely than the girls.
   
   and we do the same thing with women "teachers" that molest and have sex with their under-aged male students. we slap them on the wrist and give them probation and counseling. but when a male teacher has sex with an underaged female student - we put the male teacher in prison.
   
   boys are smart. and they are learning (sometimes too late) that the scales of justice are often tipped, and it isn't in their favor. disagree? I really, really wonder why young men commit suicide at 4X the rate of young women? maybe they perceive some injustice.
   
   but we don't hear about that too ofter, do we?

   posted by : Davidtoo on 10/13/2008 at 3:12 PM Flag For Abuse

9. I think it depends on where you send your kids--boy or girl--to pre-K. If you send them to a school where everything is structured and they have little to no time for free play, that's the choice you're making for them.
   
   I think that this whole issue is very interesting--and that it doesn't start with the schools: it starts at home. AT HOME. If parents emphasize reading, then reading becomes a priority that has NOTHING to do with gender. Except that we keep wanting to make excuses based on gender: "Boys are _naturally_ more active/rambunctious/curious/disruptive than girls--they need more free play." This might be true to a certain extent, but my daughter fits the above description just as well, and I've still turned her into a reader. I will do my utmost to turn her as-yet unborn baby brother into a reader too, but both of them will still have plenty of unstructured time to run, jump, play ball, whatever. Could we make the argument that perhaps as parents we give boys more slack than girls (that cliched excuse: 'boys will be boys'), and that when they get to school (where there's considerably less slack available due to class sizes and pedagogical priorities) they have a harder time adjusting to the structure? I think we can.
   
   The education system privileged boys over girls for more than a century--girls weren't even considered _capable_ of rational thought until relatively recently--and education trends come and go. The things that seem to have the most positive impact on ALL students (smaller classes, more individual attention, less rote memorization) don't seem to be implemented in these days of drastic budget cuts and NCLB. That's where we should be looking, not playing the gender game.

   posted by : katydidmama on 10/14/2008 at 11:29 AM Flag For Abuse

10. I'm going to have to take up for the teachers here - I don't think the majority of teachers out there want their classrooms to be structured this way - I don't think they delight in frustrated kids of any color hunched over desks in boredom..I think the problem stems from state departments trying to FIX classrooms instead of society/parents. I do not think this is the teachers' fault, nor do I think teachers prefer girls over boys - or cater to girls more. I think the classroom structure is a little easier for girls to take, but they are hurting from it too - they're starving for creative outlets that used to be enhanced by art class, library time, creative writing, etc..
    
    http://heyyourememberme.blogspot.com

    posted by : that girl on 10/14/2008 at 5:19 PM Flag For Abuse