feedback for "Bad Parent: The Littlest Gamer"

1. Fabulous! My husband & I are both gamers (video, online, & tabletop RPG). As I type, my baby dragon shares the keyboard.  I don't think there's anything wrong with sharing games.  Sometimes we all need a bit of an escape & this is a relatively benign one. My husband recently got me addicted to World of Warcrack (I mean Warcraft). Sweet T likes to "help" me quest by pushing the space bar (makes the character jump!).  We just try to balance the virtual play with real walks and park time.  Honestly, if you enjoy it and they do too....
   
   Oh by the way, we do get dressed up at gaming conventions ;-p

   posted by : dragons mom on 5/19/2009 at 2:05 PM Flag For Abuse

2. I think you have the most awesome job ever. :)
   
   My husband and I are also gamers, but divided over how much time we should allow our kid to spend playing (if any.)  I suspect that keeping her away from the games will be a losing battle -- she's already drawn to our computers like a moth to light.  It's probably genetic, right?

   posted by : Gamer girl on 5/19/2009 at 5:47 PM Flag For Abuse

3. Finally! An actual bad parent for the Bad Parent column!
   That's a bit tongue in cheek, but jeebus, lady, turn off the freaking TV.

   posted by : JessicaMama on 5/19/2009 at 10:05 PM Flag For Abuse

4. Oh, JessicaMama. None of these writers is a Bad Parent. They're good parents, with the occasional foible. This writer is involved. Thoughtful. Loving and self-critical. Her little gamer will be fine.
   Babble editors must enjoy themselves immensely when commissioning these columns and warning writers about the deluge of nonsense - sparked with the occasional supportive or insightful comment - they'll receive in return. ("The Horror! Games/Televisions/Binkies/Separate Cribs/Early Weaning/Epidurals! Let Me Demonstrate What a Superior Parent I Am in Comparison to You!")
   And I imagine the writers enjoy the experience too. Probably better than the negligible check they receive as payment.
   Keep these coming, Babble. We do love a gladiator match.

   posted by : Utterly Mediocre Parent on 5/19/2009 at 10:41 PM Flag For Abuse

5. Forgive me if I don't see how this is a bad parent, JessicaMama... In fact, I think video games are a better time-waster for a child than a television - with video games, you are at least participating in an interactive experience, and enhancing hand-eye coordination and reaction time while you're at it. The writer is coming to terms with the fact that she is unable to be the perfect parent we all aspire to me. We are all just human, doing the best we can, and yes, that means occasionally letting our children do things we never planned on letting them do so that we can have a break, and those breaks are what allows us to be better and more present when we are interacting with our children.
   

   posted by : LKM on 5/19/2009 at 11:24 PM Flag For Abuse

6. Thanks for the frank and revealing discussion on the somewhat addicting pastime: gaming.  I had ideas of being the perfect dad by keeping my sons away from computer games.  They do have their place though... kids need to blow off some excess energy and I think gaming with some limitations is a great way to do it.
   
   Thanks again for giving me an example of how we as parents can be included in this part of our kids lives as well and not merely dump them in front of the tv or computer.  I'll show this to my wife....father's day is coming up..and I've never played with an X-box or Playstation. (so deprived..I know)    At least its one more thing we can do as a family.  Lego Batman, here we come!
   

   posted by : ROIMediaGUY on 5/20/2009 at 12:50 AM Flag For Abuse

7. I know the writer personnally.....and she's all but a bad parent. There is absolutely nothing wrong in raising and teaching your kids knowingly with and about video games...It's better than using videogames or tv as a babysitter, without supervision. I have a 4 year-old daughter who loves to play Little People games on the computer. In fact, she's better than her grandmother is with the mouse! The reality of it is that I've given birth to a child who will live in an era where technology rules! I might as well raise her in it, but I'll make sure I do it right. She now plays Xbox with my boyfriend...believe it or not, she enjoys golf even if I have to help her! We spend quality time this way after hours of reading books, colouring, playing with legos and couting lamp posts on the street as we drive by. All mind-developping activities...which beats dumping my kid in front of the tv for hours on end, watching her eyes glaze over from the sheer numbingness of it all! And who can say that a tickle-fight started over a lost (by my boyfriend) game of golf is not interacting with your child????
   Bravo Annie, for this beautiful and insightful article. It makes the rest of us feel like better parents!

   posted by : vicki on 5/20/2009 at 11:35 AM Flag For Abuse

8. Beeker, don't get your knickers in a twist. This is a DISCUSSION about the topic which means that pro AND anti comments are welcome and necessary. And it's not just because I know the author that I posted a comment. Not knowing the author, I would've posted the same comment without the first few sentences. Either you agree with the author...or you disagree and that, my friend, is the basis for a good discussion! Let's not turn this page into a bashing of the commentators!  And you are right...good parenting doesn't need defending. ;)

   posted by : vicki on 5/20/2009 at 3:34 PM Flag For Abuse

9. I love how everyone got on my case about how she's not a bad parent - when I specifically said my comments were tongue-in-cheek. You people are looking to pick a fight, aren't you? But I stand by my statement - that's too much tv for any person, little or big. Christ. Launch into some fake defense if you want about how video games are good for the intellect or the soul or what have you - it's still a huge shortcut. I'd love to make my kid watch documentaries and read all the major papers every day, so I could have more of my own needs and wishes fulfilled, but hey! I don't. Because she's two. And so should you, Bad Parent. Quit making excuses and show your kid how to play with age appropriate toys, at the very least.
   

   posted by : JessicaMama on 5/30/2009 at 11:32 PM Flag For Abuse

10. We're moderate gamers as well.  Our son's godfather gave us a Wii when we were pregnant as a new parents gift -- best thing ever since I found many a Super Mario Galaxy star while my newborn slept at my breast.  And DH thinks he had the best Father's Day  because we put the little one to bed and proceeded to crack open  "Pirates" to play cooperatively over ice cream sundaes.  I understand the avoidance of TV till two (we do) but I'm tired of hearing "video games = bad" as if they're all as violent as GTA.  Is anyone doing any studies about how non-violent video games affect small kids, in the 2-5 range for instance?  Sometimes another toy in the tool chest would be appreciated when we've already read ever book three times, piled and put away the blocks and still have a little while to kill before dinner and a bath. 
    
    

    posted by : Kim Cotton on 6/22/2009 at 3:27 PM Flag For Abuse

11. Obviously moderation and mixing it up is everything, but there are many terrific education-oriented games coming online that I love playing with my 3 year old.  I know what curriculum goes into them because (full disclosure) PBS, Nick Jr and other companies hire me to produce these online games for 3-6 year olds.  The curriculum work is extremely rigorous, and orgs like PBS are investing a lot of money into research, kid testing and developing this game content for this age group to serve as strong learning aides.  see pbskidsplay.org, its amazing.
    My 3 year old is kicking butt in his report cards in toddler school, and he's incredibly inquisitive, loves learning, books, toys, play and all the normal kid stuff.  I don't attribute his intellectual progress solely to the 2 hours/week we play these online games, but it certainly isn't hurting him, and we always (of course) play games together.  (and PS  iPhone kids apps are a godsend at the restaurant. )
    Its just a new medium, and the old guard will always be scared of new media.  

    posted by : DadismyName on 6/23/2009 at 2:38 AM Flag For Abuse

12. I don't really think the writer is a bad parent, and I see nothing wrong with gaming as a fun activity in moderation.  But, it did catch my attention when she wrote, "our daily half-hour soon bloomed into a full one. And as the months passed and my belly swelled, my will faltered some more and that single hour multiplied."  Gaming can become quite addictive.  My sister and I became addicted to video games and played them for hours a day and I'm sure it affected our grades and social life in high school and college.  We both did reasonably well, but gaming was an unhealthy, rather common addiction that kept us from reaching our full academic and social potential.  We both eventually kicked the habit, but wish we hadn't gotten addicted to begin with.  Just something for the parent to keep in mind. 
    

    posted by : koala on 7/4/2009 at 6:49 PM Flag For Abuse

13. Very interesting article and discussion.  My husband and I are both fond of gaming in all forms-video, rpg, and plain old board games.  We've discussed how and when we'll introduce games to our now 4 month old daughter-and there's no question that we will at some point.  We've also made the decision to get rid of the tv and rent dvds of movies and tv shows instead.  I think the influence of advertising (especially those directed toward children) has the potential to be way more damaging than carefully supervised video gaming.  And I think video games have a lot of potential for good-especially when families play them together.  Increased confidence, being more likely to act as opposed to being a passive observer, and of course the learning potential depending on how well you choose your games. 
    
    So I did a quick search to try and answer the question about effects of video gaming on children and this was the first (and most helpful) web page to pop up: http://www.mediafamily.org/facts/facts_effect.shtml
    
    Then I did a search for the effects on toddlers:
    http://www.babycenter.in/toddler/development/socialemotional/videogames/
    
    (this one is less helpful-not clear what the sources are.  If anyone has a better source, please post it!)
    
    I think the main idea is that video games aren't as horrible as people assume they are, as long as you're smart, careful, and reasonable about how you let your kids play them.  That said, the effect of even cartoon violence in big doses can be pretty bad on developing brains-more aggressive behavior, less empathy for victims (both of which her toddler seems to exhibit to a small degree). It sounds like the author, although she may be slacking off while pregnant (and who blames her-it's exhausting without the care of a toddler thrown in), she's aware of it and will eventually crack down again.  
    

    posted by : Beffo on 7/20/2009 at 1:15 PM Flag For Abuse