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This hardly makes you a bad parent, quite the opposite I'd say, your girls sound independent and sure of themselves. I'd gladly take a rainbow and funky ballerina over a khaki clad little lamb any day.
posted by : FunkyMama on 5/26/2009 at 1:09 PM Flag For Abuse
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I totally relate. Except my first two kids are boys so their get-ups were more along the lines of red plaid bermuda shorts paired with indigo long sleeve tee, green socks, khaki fishing hat and rainboots. I do have a little gal now, too, and I LOVE watching her put her outfits together. When my first son was about four I declared to him that there were just a few rules for dressing: 1. Had to be safe/comfortable (i.e. no swim trunks and bare feet in January or wool turtleneck sweaters to the playground when it's 100 degrees); 2. Had to be clean; and 3. I only would insist on certain colors/lengths/styles IF we were attending a formal event - Christmas mass, wedding, family portrait. It all works out to the lovely fact that my children choose their clothes approximately 361 days per year. I think it's great!
posted by : beeb on 5/26/2009 at 1:42 PM Flag For Abuse
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i love to dress my baby funky, it makes him look cooler - never those ordinary sky-blue outfits..
posted by : DaintySplendor on 5/26/2009 at 2:01 PM Flag For Abuse
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I LOVE THIS! Well written to boot! I plan to do the same when I have some of my own. Bravo! Keep up the good work! They are rainbows, afterall...
posted by : Mondster on 5/26/2009 at 2:31 PM Flag For Abuse
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I wouldn't worry about it until a teacher says it is a problem or your kids same something about getting picked on. For the most part at this age the other kids are more likely wishing they could dress like the rainbow and wear tutus to school. My daughter is only 4 and never matches, I have no intent on her stopping picking out her own clothes. I figured eventually she will learn about matching and blend in but until then I will let her stand out. If she hasn't learned by middle school about how to dress I may say something then.
A little hint if your budget can afford it try shopping at gymboree, I have never seen anything in dull colors there and they make entire lines of clothing that can be mix and matched for outfits. I always try to get some clothes there each season since I am assured at least there is a chance she will pull something out that matches.
posted by : Lanie Rules on 5/26/2009 at 2:39 PM Flag For Abuse
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There are many battles in life and wrestling with our daughter about her everyday attire is not one in which we choose to engage. Our five year-old daughter knows that there are dress rules for religious holidays and special occasions. (Minus the Disney Belle costume on Yom Kippur 2007, a day of atonement and regret.)
The last thing we want to do is crush her ever-developing spirit and confidence. We discuss the "why" when her attire is out of place or inappropriate, but for the most part she can look like the little Fancy Nancy, Rainbow Bright, My Little Pony, Betsy Johnson, multi-color explosion that she is ... with her red hair blue eyes she is a sight to behold.
http://www.jasonmichaels.com
posted by : Jersey2J on 5/26/2009 at 2:40 PM Flag For Abuse
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Aw, don't worry. Your daughters are having fun, and no one is going to think badly of you for letting them pick out their own crazy wardrobes. Or if they do, too bad! They should find more important things to worry about.
I say, save your energy for limiting their wardrobe choices for when they're teenagers and want to leave the house in something that bares too much of...well, whatever teenagers are baring too much of in a few years.
posted by : Jennifer Larson on 5/26/2009 at 2:44 PM Flag For Abuse
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The piece itself is fine, but for babble's "Bad Parent" column? Boooooring! Especially since any expert I've ever read says that this is EXACTLY what you're "supposed" to do when it comes to kids and clothes. How does this qualify one for "Bad Parent" in the slightest? I don't get it.
Maybe "Bad Parent" needs to be published a little less frequently so that the ideas will be a little more original.
posted by : ChiLaura on 5/26/2009 at 3:27 PM Flag For Abuse
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They'd fit right into the pages of Nylon. I was floored recently when I saw a fashion spread that emphasized clashing!
That said, I dressed like this as a kid and loved it. Once I was a preteen I took every little comment I overheard from my grandmas or aunts and made sure to do the opposite, like wearing stripes with polka dots, white shoes after Labor Day, etc. It was great fun. But that was the 80's, and Punky Brewster was my hero.
posted by : meesha on 5/26/2009 at 3:35 PM Flag For Abuse
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People who brag about how their children's clothing is so fun and out-there strike me as classist. Then again, I was the youngest of 6 girls and never actually wore anything new as a child. And it hasn't hampered my personality one bit.
posted by : WSP on 5/26/2009 at 4:24 PM Flag For Abuse
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They have PLENTY of years to wear dull colors.
My 4.5 yo son has never cared about clothes until now. To this point I could put him in whatever I deemed cute. (Now all he wants are soccer shirts.) My 2yo daughter otoh... she dresses herself (yes she has done what it took me 4.5 years to teach my son to do, dress oneself) in multiple layers with random clothes and play clothes. We get plenty of smirks as we walk into daycare. But with her it is a matter of picking my battles. I will battle the hitting and kicking and temper tantrums. I refuse to battle over clothing choices (at least right now).
posted by : April C on 5/26/2009 at 4:28 PM Flag For Abuse
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How is it classist? I think the idea is letting a child wear whatever combinations they like but not buying them crazy clothing all the time. I remember when I was a child and even a teenager. All my clothing was hand-me-downs or things I pulled out of my mom's closet. I wore some pretty crazy outfits; ties, pants that were huge, crazy multi-colored 80's shirts, mini-skirts, all sorts of wild things that I did not pay for.
posted by : Brooke Johnson on 5/27/2009 at 1:03 AM Flag For Abuse
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I have allowed my daughter the same freedoms, She will have to conform to societies dress norms when she gets older. I let her have fun to be a child now and use all the creativity while she has it. She does have to dress appropriately for certain situations, but other than that if she can run and have fun and not get blisters it's an outfit. I agree that we should save our energy for the teenage year" too much skin " outfits.
posted by : emzmom on 5/27/2009 at 8:56 AM Flag For Abuse
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There's nothing worse than seeing some poor kid dressed like a clown while their disheveled parents smiles indulgently.
posted by : lola in san francisco on 5/27/2009 at 11:21 AM Flag For Abuse
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Congratulations -- you've raised a couple of self-indulgent, demanding, vacuous hippies. Self-consciously wacky clothes are a more effective strait-jacket than if you made them wear Easter dresses every day.
posted by : fnarf on 5/27/2009 at 12:57 PM Flag For Abuse
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I wore a uniform every day of my school life from age 5 onward, and it certainly didn't hamper my creativity or personality. If anything, it taught me that clothes don't capture the essence of a person at all. You're kids will be fine, although I'm a little concerned that they are refusing to cooperate when you suggest alternatives, and you give in too easily. Sure, there are other battles to fight, but learning to wear respectable, appropriate clothing at the right time is part of growing up. Let them wear their "crazies" on the weekend, but during the week for school they should have a standard repertoire of acceptable (approved by you) clothes to choose from.
posted by : skinnymom on 5/27/2009 at 1:30 PM Flag For Abuse
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Right. You just happen to stock your child's closet with with tutus and
striped tights and are then somehow mystified when they put together
these "wacky" combinations. Haven't you noticed they are selling tutus at the Gap? Tutus are the
new Khakis. Bad Parent? Hardly. I can't think of anything less radical then being such a good little consumer.
posted by : ummmmhardly on 5/27/2009 at 3:57 PM Flag For Abuse
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I think childhood is the perfect time to let them do what they want. Usually, junior high is the litmus test: either they decide they wish to brave the cruelty that comes with looking a little kooky, wish to rigorously conform in efforts to blend in with the popular kids, or strike out on their own in an eclectic mix of standard and striking.
My mother let us get all our 80's new wave ya-yas out in middle school (think tails, bleached bowl cuts, and lots of band buttons), and by high school, I didn't even own a pair of jeans because I only wore Laura Ashley dresses and Polo corduroy pants. I was nauseatingly preppy.
posted by : Paula Hess on 5/27/2009 at 5:58 PM Flag For Abuse
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I am so perplexed by people who are criticizing the author for not making her daughters wear "respectable, appropriate" clothes. Do y'all really care that much what other people think of you? Or your kids? Are you really a "hippy" if you wear mismatching clothes? I actually feel bad for people who feel that much pressure to conform. It's just clothing.
posted by : ann05 on 5/27/2009 at 8:23 PM Flag For Abuse
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I think its great. You are letting your kids be theirselfs instead of the pretty package society wants. Later in life, they will probably be more open about others because of it.
posted by : tomjen469 on 5/27/2009 at 10:14 PM Flag For Abuse
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Great essay. I particularly appreciated your daughter's comment about people not knowing she's a rainbow if she doesn't wear all the colors. My 5 year old recently went to kindergarten dressed as a flower with very particular color choices and is also known for some wacky color/pattern combos. I've had the same internal debate you describe and so appreciate reading about a family with similarly spirited little girls.
And wearing crazy patterned clothes is different than wearing clothes that come across as disrespectful for an occasion or clothes that fail to protect them from the weather or properly cover their bodies. Some of the comments seem to fail to differentiate among those choices.
posted by : emomma on 5/28/2009 at 3:19 PM Flag For Abuse
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I'm with Brooke in response to this being a classist issue. At this stage my baby girl wears what I put her in, but it's not like I necessarily chose the clothes in the first place. In fact, beggars can only be choosers with what they've got, and the majority of my daughter's clothes are hand-me-downs and gifts from well-meaning family and friends. Like the proverbial Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink, you work with what you've got - sometimes it's freakish; sometimes it's awesome.
Anyway, when my daughter decides to pick and choose her own threads - just as I did as a toddler a lot of time (obviously there were times when Mum's rule prevailed) - I can, like my own mother before me, honestly claim that most of the outfit had nothing to do with me.
Also, coming from a country where school uniform is pretty much standard, I can assure you that even in a class of children identically dressed, individual style and personality shines through. Just as you shouldn't stifle personal expression, don't for a second think that it's truthfully represented in dress. Your tutu-wearing rainbow might just be following as much of a perceived rule as the kid in khaki.
posted by : NZErin on 5/28/2009 at 8:03 PM Flag For Abuse
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Oh God, commenting anxiety...
I with Brooke on this NOT being a classist issue - I realise that is the tenor of my comment above, but I know so many people on this site jump and any inaccuracies in the way you wrote it.
So yes, beggar's can be choosers and often have to be more original in their choosing.
As you were...
posted by : NZErin on 5/28/2009 at 8:23 PM Flag For Abuse
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And now I'm noticing all the typos...
Haha. We mother's have to calm down!
posted by : NZErin on 5/28/2009 at 8:24 PM Flag For Abuse
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You know, if we're worrying about clothes and in my case misplaced f-ing apostrophes, we're really doing ok.
I'll shut up now.
posted by : NZErin on 5/28/2009 at 8:28 PM Flag For Abuse
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@Lola - Really? Nothing worse?
posted by : mightydoll on 6/1/2009 at 6:56 PM Flag For Abuse
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I went to high school with two different girls who wore the most outlandish, ridiculous clothing and color combinations (think: neon bracelets, combat boots, cat-ear headbands, non-prescription plastic-rimmed eyeglasses, chiffon dresses layered over jeans, spiked wrist cuffs, etc.). Keep in mind, this was high school, not elementary, and they were still allowed to dress as they pleased. I'm sure they endured some teasing now and again, but for the most part, we (the "normal" kids whose parents would never dream of letting us out of the house in such get-up) laughed, moved on with our lives, and grew to appreciate their originality. Today, one of those girls is a fashion designer with her own line, and the other is a movie costume designer. Just goes to show that allowing your kids a little leeway and creativity (even with something as unimportant as their clothing choices) may benefit them in the long run.
posted by : SmalltownLe on 6/5/2009 at 6:08 PM Flag For Abuse
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Funny, I pitched this very same idea to Ada over a year and a half ago and got a "This isn't quite right for us, but thanks for thinking of Babble!"
BITCH!
posted by : sourgrapes on 6/24/2009 at 8:06 PM Flag For Abuse
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Another example of why there are endless seas of rude, selfish kids around who seem to have real problems dealing with themselves and the real world. Kids who have record amounts of depression. Trust me I live by a university and I am also a teacher. I have the examples and the stories. Parents since the 80's have needed to wake up! I grew up in the 80's but I was one of the lucky kids who had older parents who taught me time and place, manners, discipline and humility along with my independence and creativity. Parents grow up! I think the post from fnarf said it best....
posted by : teach on 9/23/2009 at 7:35 PM Flag For Abuse
