feedback for "Parental Advisory: My Baby, the Chubster"

1. My friend's sister does this as well, and it drives me crazy!  All the nicknames from infancy have settled into both parents calling their petite 4 year old daughter "Fatty".  It's said in a loving tone of voice, but pretty soon the meaning behind the word will overcome the intent of the nickname.  The crazy thing is that this woman (who is a great mother) was herself anorexic for a long time.  I don't understand why she, of all people, doesn't see the damage she could be causing.
   Our daughters will get all kinds of messages that they are not good enough, that shouldn't start in their own homes.

   posted by : Shelley Rice on 6/10/2009 at 8:58 AM Flag For Abuse

2. Um, seriously? 
   
   "Many parents — even if they try their hardest not to — project a future appearance based on early impressions. People predict baldness, double chins, acne, ass shape, torso length, and upper body strength all from the shape of their squirmy, gummy infant."
   
   Who are we talking about here?  Incredibly stupid people? 
   

   posted by : nm on 6/10/2009 at 11:38 AM Flag For Abuse

3. Agreed, nm.  This is ridiculous.  I love my chubby baby and have a thousand nicknames for him, only some of which celebrate his cherubic qualities.  I also call him stinky-butt and drooly-face.  So now I should worry that these playful nicknames (which won't be used past babyhood anyways) are going to give him a complex about his bodily functions?  Instead of being hypersensitive about words, why not take the opportunity to show your kids that they can have multiple meanings - not just negative connotations?  "Fatty" is only a bad word because we make it so.  Some people loathe being called "skinny" or being told they should "go eat a sandwich or something!"  There's always something to be made fun of.  Kids, adults, everyone will find something about a person to point out and make fun of.  I was six feet tall by the time I was eleven years old.  I HATED when people called me tall.  Is it because "tall" is a bad word?  No, I just ascribed a negative meaning to it. 
   
   I understand the argument about promoting negative body image in young girls, I just don' t buy into it myself and try to do something about it by changing the perception of the words.  I think we can do a lot to help our sons and daughters by showing them just how silly it is when people resort to using these words to attempt to hurt us.  I hate the fact that our country is obsessed with the shape of our bodies and not the state of our health.  People come in all shapes and sizes.  And that's a GOOD thing.  I'm gonna go kiss my fat baby now.

   posted by : Chimom on 6/10/2009 at 11:56 AM Flag For Abuse

4. good for you that you will stop using the names once your kid grows out of babyhood but for some people they dont stop because they are so ingrained. my cousin who is now almost 18 is still called addi boy...a nickname from when he was a baby. bothers him like hell but his mom and brother cant seem to stop. had a neighbor who called their kid lil bit throughout toddler hood and im not sure if they still do cause they moved away...but it seems likely. i do think the mom asking the question was using some pretty crappy names. i mean greedy guts?! thats just gross sounding. i do call me youngest son big boy when i give home a bottle but i think her constant name calling is a little ridiculous. as far as words just being words what are you going to do when your child starts swearing out in public? will you say that words are just words then or will you encourage him or her to use a different more user friendly word?

   posted by : trelimon on 6/10/2009 at 12:20 PM Flag For Abuse

5. oh i forgot to respond to nm about parents who are trying to guess what their kids will look like in the future. you didn't wonder what color their eyes would be or their hair? what about all the parents who after their kid turns 2 double the height to try to see how tall they will be by the 18th birthday. i don't know what kind of parents you run into but most i know are constantly asking which parents the infant takes after, looking at their old baby photos looking for any kind of resemblance. i didn't feel like it mad any of the parents stupid or silly...just curious.

   posted by : trelimon on 6/10/2009 at 12:26 PM Flag For Abuse

6. http://www.motherjones.com/blue-marble/2009/06/dioxins-impair-breastfeeding
   
   Seems research indicates that dioxin can prevent a woman from successfully breastfeeding.  So to all the La Leche people who shame those poor women for not trying hard enough to breastfeed, shame on you.

   posted by : Ali on 6/10/2009 at 12:30 PM Flag For Abuse

7. I was a big chubby baby and my extended family called me various nicknames when I was a very small child. Even though I thinned out and got tall and they were no longer calling me those nicknames by the time I was five, I thought I was fat until I reached college. I didn't realize I still had that image of myself until a few months ago when I was looking at photos of myself in a cheerleading outfit when I was eight (I'm now 42), and I thought "wow, I wasn't fat. I was skinny and tall." I was shocked to see that I was "normal looking" in the photo. For a lot of people, even when your body has changed, your body image hasn't.

   posted by : Butterball on 6/10/2009 at 1:56 PM Flag For Abuse

8. Fat babies are awesome.  Period.  I called my son chubby and chubmonster when he was a baby, and now I don't.  I call my daughter chubby now, and I'm pretty sure I won't when she's older.  It's not about whether or not you have these nicknames when they are little.  It's about whether or not you have a good image of yourself and convey to your children that being comfortable in your own skin is important and possible.   I guess you could argue that people who use these terms can't convey this message, but I just don't think it's all that black and white.  Both of my doctors called my son FAT in the office, but they did it with a playful tone and assured me that he was totally normal and following his own curve.  Playful nicknames are not a big deal, really.   I think "greedy guts" is actually pretty funny too.
   

   posted by : tiffanie reid on 6/10/2009 at 2:00 PM Flag For Abuse

9. I can't think of a more sure way to give your child a complex about eating habits or body image than to make a big colossal issue of it yourself.  Hooray! to the mom who wrote in for celebrating her child's health in an entirely unselfconscious way, and Boo! to Parental Advisory for feeding the frenzy of obsessing about what we think about our bodies and whose fault that is.

   posted by : Momma to Fatty McFatterson on 6/10/2009 at 2:26 PM Flag For Abuse

10. I'm sorry to say this, but people that have body image issues are most likely going to have them, silly infant nickname or not.
    
    

    posted by : Nolamom on 6/10/2009 at 2:30 PM Flag For Abuse

11. @trelimon 
    
    I do wonder what my child will look like in the future.  I do ask people if they think my child looks more like me or my partner all the time. 

     

    However, I don't think that how he looks now is necessarily much of an indication of the adult he will grow up to be.  He's already changed so much since he was born and he's not even 1 year old. 

     

    If I based how I thought he was going to look as an adult on what he looks like as a baby, then I would rename him Winston Churchill and call it a day.

    posted by : nm on 6/10/2009 at 2:45 PM Flag For Abuse

12. "People predict baldness, double chins, acne, ass shape, torso length, and upper body strength all from the shape of their squirmy, gummy infant."
    
    WTF?  Are you serious?  There are people out there looking at their baby's teeny tush and predicting her... as you so charmingly put it, "ass shape"?  I think I'm going to be sick.
    
    To the mother here: you're doing a great job and your laid-back attitude towards your child's weight is much less likely to give her a complex than making a big silly deal out of it.  If other people have a problem with your nicknames, they are free not to use them!
    

    posted by : Revolted on 6/10/2009 at 2:48 PM Flag For Abuse

13. "People predict baldness, double chins, acne, ass shape, torso length, and upper body strength all from the shape of their squirmy, gummy infant."
    
    I agree with nm's evaluation of "Who are we talking about here?  Incredibly stupid people?" I've never met anyone like this. Speculating on height or baldness, I guess, seems "normal," since these can be guesstimated somewhat thru families, but I've never heard of anyone guessing about acne or torso length! Give me a break.
    
    I was surprised at "Parental Advisory's" tone; I thought it way too harsh and reactionary. As some of the comments above show (like "Butterball's"), calling a kid names thru his/her childhood can definitely lead to distorted body image, which can be really dangerous. I think that it's fine to point out some of the potential dangers, but why can't we call our kids names like this when they're babies? As long as we're celebrating their chubby attributes instead of criticizing their sweet little baby bodies, who cares? I'd probably be more diplomatic with the relative than to just say, "Butt out," but that's pretty much what my response is. I'm all for re-shaping the meanings of some of these words, or at least resisting society's pressure to disdain non-PC words like "Chubby."
    
    We actually call my younger son "Pig," which I know we'll have to stop, before his brother picks up on it. But his skin is so pinky-white and creamy, and he's round and has curly hair! He looks like the cutest little pig you ever saw!

     

    I'll raise a glass to names celebrating chubbiness.

    posted by : ChiLaura on 6/10/2009 at 3:26 PM Flag For Abuse

14. I called my daughter FattyBlueBunz (owing to her, well- fat and her cute Mongolian spots she inherited from her Asian daddy until the day she said "I not FattyBlueBunz, Mama" at age 3. I said "ok, how about BeautyBlueBunz?" she said "yeah, I dat". So, it's been that ever since. It's pretty easy to stop as soon as there is evidence that they have applied a negative connotation to it.

    posted by : Kayas Mama on 6/10/2009 at 3:36 PM Flag For Abuse

15. Fat, fat, fat baby.  Big Bad Fat Baby.  For god's sakes, this is such insanity.  I can't believe someone would be so stupid as to not recognize the difference between a mother's term of affection for her baby and a serious issue relating to body image. Gah, I am so sick of this oversensitive alarmist society!!!!!  How should I describe my husband?  Follically challenged?  The man is bald and balding.  And he knows it and I know it, and it doesn't affect either of us in the least.  Whatever happened to humor and/or honest descriptions?  Ugh.

    posted by : MsAnthrope on 6/10/2009 at 4:31 PM Flag For Abuse

16. The only person in this scenario that needs to modify her behavior is the relative who harshly reprimanded a mother over something so subjective & nonthreatening.  I hope the letter writer can just shrug off such criticism as an illustration of how weight issues can make some women nutty.

    posted by : Taralei on 6/10/2009 at 5:33 PM Flag For Abuse

17. This is all so silly.  I realize some people have serious body issues and these need to be addressed.  But in general, I don't see any problem in calling a baby fat.  We've called my son all kinds of nicknames.  I was called all kinds of things by my parents and older sisters and I wasn't scarred by any of it.  As long as we love our kids, let them know they are loved and help build their self esteem as they grow, they should be okay.

    posted by : Melissa Andrews on 6/11/2009 at 9:51 AM Flag For Abuse

18. Oh, brother! I was proud to have a big "healthy" baby from day one and we nuzzled and kissed and joked about his beautiful little chubby legs and lack of a neck for the first year he was born. We still look at his baby pictures and laugh with him about what a "rolly polly" he was. As he got older (and naturally thinned out) we gradually stopped commenting on it. In my mind there is a BIG difference between calling a 6 month old "fatty" and saying that to a 3, 4 or 5 year old - partially because if it's still true at that older age, then the child likely has a real weight problem, and certainly is old enough to take it as a criticism. But let's be honest - there are many things we might say to or in front of a little baby that we would never say to an older child. Part of parenting a toddler is learning how to censor what you do and say.

    posted by : terram on 6/11/2009 at 12:04 PM Flag For Abuse

19. When my daughter poops, I sing a little song that goes "you gotta big doody from your big booty." It makes her laugh but my friend thinks I'm going to give her a complex about her tush. If she's anything like her Puerto Rican dad, my daughter is definitely going to have a booty, so I asked my friend if there was something wrong with having a big booty. I mean, really, she is the one making it negative! I love her little booty and I hope she doesn't end up with my flat ass. LOL. People need to lighten up and stop projecting their poor body image onto other people's kids.
    (@kayas mama: my daughter has a mongolian spot, too since I am white and my husband is Puerto Rican!) 

    posted by : Nancy Cavillones on 6/12/2009 at 10:28 PM Flag For Abuse

20. I agree -- thought the answer to this Q was a tad harsh and overly PC. I call my baby Fats McGee and Stay-Puft, because his chubby marshmallow legs are just so darn cute and edible. It's a TOTAL term of endearment. If he were an obese two-year-old, it would be a different story. But lots of babies are chubsters, and I don't think there's anything wrong with thinking it's adorable and nicknaming accordingly.
    

    posted by : Marshmallow Mama on 6/16/2009 at 6:14 PM Flag For Abuse