feedback for "Dispatch: Try to Relax"

1. I just wanted to write down my experience in case any woman who was just prescribed bedrest finds this message board.  Bedrest was an incredible experience for me and I wish that I had read some positive experiences when I first got home from the hospital, ready to endure this incredible sentence.  I spent 17 weeks on strict bedrest, only up to use the bathroom and a quick shower once or twice a week.  I started having very regular contractions at 20 weeks.  My cervix shortened and I was told that there was nothing that could be done by one doctor and luckily found another doctor that was willing to prescribe me terbutaline and stop the contractions or at least slow them down.  The worst part about it all was the worry, I was sick with worry and unable to concentrate on films, books, tv.   The decision to try and save this baby was one of the hardest things I had ever done, what if my body was trying to end things for a reason? I decided to do what I could do, to do everything possible, and then let the rest work it out.   Everything worked out beautifully.  And 2 years later, I am so thankful for that deliberate break in my life.  I was forced to slow down, to depend on other people.  My husband was finally given a chance to take care of me, something I never really needed or allowed before, and I fell madly in love with him all over again.  My friends --- some people surprised me by being there with frozen homemade food and frequent visits, while others surprised me by not being present but I was able to mourn the loss of those friends in the right time, not believing it was because I HAD CHANGED when I had a baby but realizing that we had outgrown each other in sense. I thought it was a bit like pre-pardum depression which made it so I had no post-pardum...  I am a life long caretaker and there was real value in my life to be forced to let others help me.  I became a mother before the baby was born so that when he came, I was able to be there and present with him, he equalled my freedom rather than the taking away of freedoms, and I think that was really wonderful for our relationship.  I mourned my old life before he was even born.  There was a lot worry and fear I could have done with out but I think the nest that was created by the fact of over four months of bedrest, was a wonderful place for my child to be born into.  I have been the happiest mother I know and perhaps that is in part due to the bedrest...   Also, I had no physical or emotional troubles at all after the birth of my baby, I got up and walked to the hospital and haven't stopped since.  No back trouble, shortness of breath, weakness.  A miracle.

   posted by : stace on 6/22/2009 at 11:17 AM Flag For Abuse

2. interesting

   posted by : Quincy on 6/22/2009 at 11:17 AM Flag For Abuse

3. Stace here again, just wanted to say, the bedrest was emotionally the most difficult thing I had endured in my life thus far.  To be stuck in bed, consumed with worry, unable to do things for myself (my being a fiercely independent person), let down by people I thought would be there for me, and living with this constant fear of having a tiny little sick baby, all of it combined to create the most powerless, most difficult emotional rollercoaster I had ever endured.  The positive things were really only able to be seen/felt after the bedrest.  I just wanted to write my experience so that someone facing the same situation knew that there is the possibility for incredibly valuable and life changing lessons and outcomes... not the least of which is this little boy that we love so very much.  Worth every second and actually an amazing thing in this life of mine, showed me how strong I could be in the face of adversity and also that there really is an incredible knowledge and growth that can come from an experience like this.

   posted by : stace on 6/22/2009 at 11:27 AM Flag For Abuse

4. what if it's not your first child, and you don't get to care for your other kids for 4+ months? is it your husband who should do all the earning, caring and house-keeping? And you already in that baby-having sacrifising mode, so not that big change for you?
   I guess there are always pros and contras
   

   posted by : DaintySplendor on 6/22/2009 at 1:53 PM Flag For Abuse

5. I was on modified bed rest for three weeks with my recent pregnancy, meaning I could get up and move around a little bit, but I was mostly bed-bound and told to take it very easy because of pregnancy induced hypertension.  My husband and all my friends were working, so I was incredibly lonely, even with plenty of books, movies and internet.  I missed taking care of our older daughter, whose care fell entirely to her daytime sitter and her dad.  He waited on me hand and foot, but he was so tired from working all day and taking care of our 2 year old, that I felt far too guilty to really let him take care of me like I needed.  I was tired all the time and also had insomnia- a horrible combination that had me questioning my ability to stay sane if it kept up.  (I'm not exaggerating- I would spend the wee hours of the morning shaking with terror that it wasn't going to get better after the baby was born.  "What if I never sleep again?" was a horrifying thought that I could not get rid of in the quiet dark of 3 a.m.)
   
   Thank God it was only three weeks.  I also completely defied my doctor's orders and spent a very little bit of time out of the house, usually to have lunch with a girlfriend.  I was lucky in that my daughter would have been fine to be born right away; she was healthy and big enough.  The threat was really to my health more than hers.  
   
   But bed rest was awful and I am hoping and praying that I do not have to go through it with my next pregnancy.  Just my experience.

   posted by : patricia on 6/22/2009 at 2:07 PM Flag For Abuse

6. i was leaking amniotic fluid at 23 weeks and the dr wanted me on bedrest and the hormone shots to mature baby's lungs, but i *felt* it was okay.  She was huge on patient rights, and let me go home instead of emergency ambulance to the closest baby hospital (3 hours away).  baby was born fine, on time, no problems...I had six other children at home - and i would have been three hours away.  it just wouldn't have worked.i did really feel strongly that it was okay - and my husband and i prayed about it before i left the hospital and came home.i should probably thank the dr for not insisting - i know it was hard for her...

   posted by : mamazee73 on 6/22/2009 at 5:17 PM Flag For Abuse

7. I was on strict bedrest for more than 3 months with my twins and I'm pretty darn sure that's why they made it to 36w2d (not bad for a super high risk multiple pg) and had no Nicu stay, came home with me after 5 days (c/s). 
   
   I was on modified rest (2 hours a day up and about) after the first trimester and then on full, don't get up to shower (while sitting on a chair) until the third day... bedrest because of an incompetant cervix held together with a fabulous cerclage and a few other issues (misshapen uterus, fibroids). 
   
   The perinatalogists and my ob watched me like a hawk and having gone to dinner for more than the 2 hour allotment during my second tri, I did notice I was feeling odd.  Turns out, my cervix had shortened which sent me to "do not pass go - just go lie down for the next 3-4 months" bedrest. 
   
   I would do it all again in a heartbeat!   My docs were pretty surprised that I was so compliant (a spitfire in real life) and it boiled down to this... did I want to have super premature babies that might not live all because of x y or z?   (fill in the blank... I went to the grocery store... I decided to go Christmas shopping... etc).  Yes, I missed Christmas, my 40th birthday (oh, another risk apparently - the advanced maternal age!) and a slew of other things. 
   
   Nope, it was not easy whatsoever!  I still have issues from all the muscle loss, nerve compression and such.  I didn't feel really social either but I read a bunch, watched t.v., chatted with friends and was ever so thankful that my husband worked from home and was able to take good care of me.  I just stayed on my left side, listened daily for their heartbeats with a doppler machine (thank goodness for those!  That is if you can not get obsessed with it) and tried to stay focused on "one more day, one more week" so they could hit the 28w mark at the very least. 
   
   With other kids at home and a husband/partner working out of the house now, I don't know how I'd do it if it were happening today.  That's probably why we vacillate on another pregnancy... how to do it?  I really feel for women put in this position of having to choose between resting and work or family obligations. 
   
   Bottom line, I think that you have to trust your ob or find another one that's on your same page, whatever it might be.  I also think every case is different - I know of so many cases where it mattered and then again, where it wouldn't have.  That's the take away here, really.
   
   Good luck if you're in this boat - and take advantage of the calm before the storm!

   posted by : Cate on 6/23/2009 at 3:23 AM Flag For Abuse

8. Seems that an imcompetant cervix would benefit from bedrest since gravity would not have the wieght of the growing baby and uterus pressing on the already weak cervix.  Just seems logical.   I think most women will do bed rest though so they can know they did everything they could if things go wrong.  A famous magazine editor lost her twin daughters after being told to slow down and consider bedrest.  She was too busy working and lost them during the 2nd trimester.  Being over 40 it was her last chance and she never got pregnant again.  I wonder if she regrets her decision.  I got lost of work done while on bedrest the last month of my pregnancy.  It was only 4 weeks after all.  I was on the PC all day, reading construction plans, having conference calls.  It was just another day at the office.  I also did isometric exercises while lying down.  It kept my muscles tones and my joints moving.  I was fighting gravity, not movement.

   posted by : Ali on 6/24/2009 at 1:50 PM Flag For Abuse