feedback for "Parental Advisory: Innermost Fear"

1. As a vaginal birth-er, its impossible to say which recovery is worse.  My recovery was tougher than I had anticipated (mostly owing to the fact that I had given more thought to the actual delivery than to the recovery, and that I had a episotomy), it was facilitated by 8 sessions of physical therapy.  That's right, PT- for rebuilding my perineum.  Turns out this is standard practice in France, where I delivered my baby Camille.  It is routinely offered to post-pregnancy women (starting 6-8 weeks after baby) by a

   posted by : hambutt on 8/29/2007 at 3:29 PM Flag For Abuse

2. Whoopsie, hold on.  Age has a lot to do with the kind of "insult" your pelvic floor will suffer (don't you love that term?).  The older you are, the more at risk you are for incontinence and honey we're talking about front AND back.  This article doesn't seem very well-researched -- why my bitty local paper even did a piece on the surge in the number of incontinence-related procedures being done in hospitals around the country, given the increasing numbers of MAMA's (Mothers [of] Advanced Maternal Age, and yes I just coined that!) out there. One MAMA I know who gave birth at 44 (shriek!) calls it "the silent epidemic."
   
   I think anyone over 40 should certainly consider the C-.  And to hell with anyone who argues with this who hasn't pushed a 7+-pounder of their hoochie.
   
   

   posted by : rschamess on 8/29/2007 at 3:44 PM Flag For Abuse

3. thanks for this terrific article.  vaginas of women of typical childbirthing age are meant for pushing out babies without being chopped up like a flank steak, and it's incredible to me how much confusion there is about that.
   

   posted by : paulahess on 8/29/2007 at 4:44 PM Flag For Abuse

4. Here is my question: How long should it take to heal?  I know the healing time must be different for different women and that the type of labor and delivery you have are a factor, but is there an average?  I tore when my daughter was born, so I expected things to be a bit rough for awhile.  We started having sex again at about eight weeks postpartum and it was terribly painful and has been since, no matter how much lube we use.  My daughter is almost a year now.  I was just wondering if this is something I should see my doctor about or if I just need to continue to wait it out. 
   

   posted by : mags on 8/29/2007 at 9:41 PM Flag For Abuse

5. When I asked my husband how many stitches I had, he said "oh, a couple....".   Later that day I asked a nurse when she was checking me, and she said "girl, you've got about 30 or 40...".  hhhmmmm, guess that's why it took the doctor so long.  Sex at 6 weeks was incredibly painful.....like razorblades.  When I discussed with my doctor, she had one word:  "Astroglide".  It made a world of difference.  I didn't realize that breastfeeding was changing my hormones so much that my "you know what" was like a barren desert.   Definitely discuss with your doctor....I don't think it should still be painful at this point.

   posted by : notperfectmom on 8/29/2007 at 10:16 PM Flag For Abuse

6. There are a lot of horror stories, but everyone is different, so I have to share my experience.  I had a fantastic recovery.  I tore when delivering my 7+ daughter vaginally, and I had stitches, but it was only really painful for about a day.  The next day I was walking around, and I never had to take anything stronger than Tylenol for pain.  It remained tender for a few weeks, and we didn't attempt sex for about 10 weeks (more to do with my own issues about having had stitched-up genitalia).  And now, a year post, I don't have any problems with incontinence, don't have any problems having sex or orgasms, and the only real difference I see is that tampons don't stay in quite as well (sorry if that's TMI, but we ARE talking about vaginas here!).   I know I am fantastically lucky, and I don't mean to say that if it happened that way for me, it will happen that way for you.  But there are a lot of horror stories and worry about this sort of thing (I think Strollerderby does more to fan the flames of worry than it should, sometimes, what with all the stretched-out hoo-hah references), and I wanted to present an actual true life experience that wasn't terrible and permanent.

   posted by : Dwtintx on 8/30/2007 at 7:25 AM Flag For Abuse

7. Ok, I had a 9 lbs baby vaginally, tore in 2 places (I did not notice), recovered well & had sex as soon as I was allowed (6 weeks after). My husband swears I am the same as I was before. He also has never met a mother who has not fully recovered (since he was a single dad when I met him he had some "experience" in that area). Lubrication was/is an issue but that's neither here nor there since it's hormonal. And it was scary the first time, accompanied by thoughts like "but my baby came through there..." But now (3 month after giving birth) I have to say sex is even better (more sensation) than before, even if it happens less often. The #1 sex killer will be your baby, not your pussy. So don't get scared - you never know what will happen giving birth the "regular" way and you can prepare. On the other hand you do know what happens during c-section - major surgery!

   posted by : inafamilyway on 8/30/2007 at 2:20 PM Flag For Abuse

8. Forgot to mention - I am 39 yrs old. And re. the incontinence - I already peed when I sneezed (or laughted - my husband had a blast making me pee my pants...) while I was pregnant since it has to do with your PC muscle, not your pussy. I agree it's scary to have stitches down there but for me it was better to tear than to be cut.

   posted by : inafamilyway on 8/30/2007 at 3:40 PM Flag For Abuse

9. I had a c-section (not elective) with my first, and I can tell you that the sex was just as scary after that as it would have been after a vaginal birth. And incontinence? Well, I'm supposedly not all "stretched out", but for a long time I still peed a little when I sneezed; I think just being pregnant will do that to you.

   posted by : AllisonWonder on 8/31/2007 at 8:35 AM Flag For Abuse

10. I also had a c-section (not elective) and I would never choose that option!  I'd take the worst pushing over 3 days to the very very dragged out recovery after the major surgery that I had.  Granted, mine was not emergency, but planned as 3 weeks prior to her due date, we found out that she was sideways inside me.  (I have what the delivery doctor kindly called a Heart-Shaped Uterus-or bi-valve)  I agree with AllisonWonder, sex is scary after a c-section as your cervix may have been dilated and your whole body feels, well, more fragile. 
    
    Here's some info on a c-section:
    Your stomach muscles are cut which makes simple rolling out of bed very difficult - now how are you supposed to care for a baby like that?  Thank-goodness I had help!
    To care for it and to remove the placenta, they take your uterus OUT of your stomach.  I saw this happen.
    You still bleed vaginally afterwards ( I did for 8 weeks!!)
    No driving a car for 2 weeks because you are on Percocet or some other pain-killer
    The Percocet or other will make you so constipated that pushing that out is extremely painful too.
    Again, it's major surgery and my stomach muscles hurt for about one year anytime I leaned up against something or tried to exercise.  Pre-baby I was in great shape, swimming, doing yoga or dancing at least 5x a week. I was in much better overall physical shape at 9 months pregnant than I was 9 months after giving birth because exercise was a slow, painful process.  (plus, you have a dear baby to care for)
    
    All of my friends who had vaginal birth claimed that at about 6 months to 1 year, their vagina's felt completely normal.
    
    You may want to let your friend know about the benefits to a child's lungs when they are birthed vaginally.  http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7137945.stm
    
    Really, we should make c-section decisions with regards to our children's health, not to the shape of our vaginas.  I'm sorry if that sounds preachy, perhaps your friend hasn't been given all the best information.
    
    
    

    posted by : msleora on 12/14/2007 at 4:29 PM Flag For Abuse

11. Unfortunatly, the article mentioned nothing about the birth practices in hospitals that serve to increase the incidence of incontinence and pelvic floor damage issues. Women who birth in hospitals push their babies out while laying on their backs, not an optimal position for the weight of the baby to gently stretch the muscles and skin during descent of the baby. As well, the pushing technique demanded of women, the Valsalva technique (the horrible counting to ten turning red feel like my eyeballs are going to pop out pushing) is terrible for avoiding damage to muscles. If a woman is left alone to push when her body feels the urge, her baby will come through her pelvis more gently and there is a much lower incidence of incontinence. Another thing adding the the occurence of incontinence after childbirth is a full bladder - especially with an epidural. Trying to push a baby out with a full bladder in the way is not only painful but can be nearly impossible. It is important for women to get up and pee every hour during birth, or if they have an epidural, make sure that the collection bag is emptied on a regular basis. I had the pleasure of birthing three babies (8.4,10.10 and 9.6) and have never experienced incontinence of any kind.
    As for lingering pain after injury to the perineum. In my experience, episiotomies cause worse pain and a longer recovery period after birth. A natural tear will heal much better and besides that research shows that episiotomies should not be done any more... i guess it is just so much more fun to mutilate a woman than support her perineum...

    posted by : i love my midwife on 6/25/2008 at 5:07 PM Flag For Abuse

12. The article mentions that having a baby vaginally damages your pelvic floor muscles and makes it more likely that you will have incontinence afterwards....HOWEVER...
    
    Within the medical community there is also the hypothesis that women who naturally have 'looser muscles' are the ones who are able to deliver vaginally. This also puts them at risk for prolapse or incontinence later on in life..it's difficult to separate out the cause and effect on this one, and it is not as straightforward as the article suggests.
    
    Kegels are the way to go ladies. And if you have trouble doing them, there are products on the market (i.e. vaginal weights) that can help you focus on the right muscles and help tone up that area! Ask your gynecologist.
    

    posted by : anon on 11/6/2009 at 7:23 PM Flag For Abuse