feedback for "Misery"

1. Thank you for sharing your story. I was "lucky" enough to be dealing with clinical depression before my first pregnancy, so I was already on antidepressants and knew what signs to look for in case of postpartum depression. More women need to hear stories like yours, both so that they can recognize the symptoms in themselves, and so maybe we can sop judging moms who have to make difficult decisions about medications, breastfeeding, etc. I'm pregnant with number two now, and still on the meds. It's not ideal, but it's better than the alternative.   I hope you never feel that you need to apologize for doing what you knew was best for you and your children. They're lucky to have a loving mom who got the help she needed.

   posted by : AllisonWonder on 10/22/2007 at 11:13 AM Flag For Abuse

2. And here's the thing -- while one does get "better" bafter PPD, in my opinion, one never really gets

   posted by : Coolshoes on 10/22/2007 at 1:20 PM Flag For Abuse

3. And here's the thing -- while one does get "better" bafter PPD, in my opinion, one never really gets over PPD, in the sense that it continues to affect a mother for a very long time, in many big but also so many very small but upsetting ways.  Once a mother has gone down the PPD chute, she's forever after living in a kind of marked motherhood; not that I'd trade being a mother-who-had-PPD for not being a mother at all, but I will never know what it is like to not separate my life into before-PPD and after-PPD, and to know that one of the best events in life -- having a child -- was also one of the worst events in my life, emotionally. 

   posted by : Coolshoes on 10/22/2007 at 1:21 PM Flag For Abuse

4. I think you're really brave for sharing.  Thank you! 

   posted by : KC on 10/22/2007 at 2:04 PM Flag For Abuse

5. As someone who has done her time in the psych ward, I'm halfway to clapping while reading this - it rings so very true. Opening up about mental illness, whether hormone-induced or just how you were born, is such a hard thing - there's still so much stigma to it.  The more we talk about it and share our experiences with it, the easier it will be for people to find help - for moms to have your second postpartum experience instead of your first.  Thanks for the great article.

   posted by : superblondgirl on 10/22/2007 at 3:47 PM Flag For Abuse

6. Great article indeed. I have tears in my eyes. My son is 3.5 y/o and the thought of going through it again...I just can't do it.

   posted by : lootie on 10/22/2007 at 4:10 PM Flag For Abuse

7. Thank you for writing this, please share this article with many.
   

   posted by : akendall on 10/22/2007 at 4:30 PM Flag For Abuse

8. 
   I appreciate your story very much.  I also had PPD after the birth of my 1st son, so much so that it made me feel totally out of touch with reality and I ended up calling up my OB to ask if she could prescribe me a dose of Paxil.  The only reason I chose Paxil was because of the commercials that they would run on the television night and day.  "Are you feeling depressed and anxious?", "Do you want to feel like your normal self again?" Needless to say, it did not help at all and, in fact, made things ten times worse.  I was only on Paxil for less than a week, and I must say that that particular week was probably the worst week of my life.  Seriously.  The drug took all my symptoms and multiplied them by ten.  I knew then the drugs were not the answer for me and I worked through my problem basically by talking to people who had gone through the same thing, exercising (yes, that does help tremendously!), and remembering who was the most important person in this situation.  Yes, my son.  And I do disagree with what you said regarding formula and "setting him up for being sick" for the rest of his life.  That is just totally not true at all.  Yes, as all the doctors and literature states, "Breast is best", no kidding!  But if you do use formula, do not expect your child to be sick all the time or think that you are "selling out" in any way.  Formula is an incredible and positive thing that mothers have available to them and if it keeps my child happy, healthy and thriving, well, that is all i need to know.
   
   

   posted by : lisamb27 on 10/22/2007 at 11:40 PM Flag For Abuse

9. Bravo to you for being so candid about something that so many new mothers experience, but almost nobody wants to talk about.  One thing I'd like to say though- don't ever let ANYBODY (doctors, friends, the media, etc.) make you feel guilty about choosing to exclusively formula feed.  In doing so, you gave him the best gift you could have possibly given- a mother that was as mentally healthy as possible for that given time in her life (and his).  Yes, I know about all the benefits of breastfeeding, but what good would it be to breastfeed your child if it meant coming unhinged enough to potentially do yourself (or, God forbid, the baby,) harm?

   posted by : Chicken80 on 10/23/2007 at 4:12 PM Flag For Abuse

10. Breast may be best but I can assure that all three of my older children were breastfed only briefly due to my own mental health issues.  All three of them are loving healthy functional human beings, all were National Merit Finalists. PPD is scary, it robs of your joy in the wonders of your baby, but eventually it passes, and the child is still pretty wonderful to behold when  you are well enough to appreciate it. I didn't have PPD with  my fourth child who has been my joy in the morning, just the usual exhaustion. Thank-you for writing about your PPD. I wish you well.

    posted by : skeptic on 10/24/2007 at 12:50 AM Flag For Abuse

11. thank you.
    

    posted by : kaleighak on 10/30/2007 at 11:26 PM Flag For Abuse

12. i'm expecting baby #7 and just read Brooke Shield's book (Down Came the Rain) and so much of it rang true for me. I just wanted to encourage anyone who is reading this board that having PPD once doesn't mean it will necessarily come back... I had baby #1 with a ton of fanfare and way too much family support - everyone lived in town, it was the first grandbaby on both sides (and a boy!) - the second baby we were all alone in a huge city with nobody. I would call my mom and cry, call my sisters and cry, i felt guilty about everything i did (if i made food, i should be cleaning, if i cleaned i should be holding the *very sweet and content* baby) - i had horrible dreams of something different and bad happening to my children every night. It took six weeks to come out from under it and it was very scary - dh took me to the doctor and said "fix her. she cries all the time" and i started crying. turns out i had retained a little tissue, was severely iron deficient - i took alfalfa tablets to up my iron, and forced myself to let people into my house, and i'm glad my family didn't mind listening to me sob for hours on end. i would never want to go back again, and i'm so glad that i never had to...

    posted by : mamazee on 2/29/2008 at 2:41 PM Flag For Abuse

13. Zoloft is outstanding.
    
    After my daughter was born (almost six years ago!!), I was terrified to leave her alone for even one minute. Every time I put her in the crib, I was sure she'd die from SIDS. Then I'd want to freak out. My imagination played tricks on me: I imagined throwing her out of a window. I imagined doing worse things that I can't say here. Things I don't want to remember that I imagined doing.
    
    Fortunately, I never did more than imagine anything. More fortunately, I got on Zoloft and have been so much better ever since.
    
    I stayed on a relatively high dose of Zoloft (200mg a day) through my second pregnancy. I've stayed on it even while breastfeeding him (the doctors on all sides agreed it appears to be safe). Since I also have ADD and allergies, I decided to wean him, and this past week was the last. He's on the bottle and seems to be just fine. He's a bright, happy, sweet (except when he pulls hair, pinches, etc!) little thing. I'm happy to be a mom, even with the challenge of my daughter being right in the middle of the autistic spectrum.
    
    Without Zoloft? I don't think there'd be enough tears in the world.

    posted by : Random Mom on 6/25/2008 at 1:18 AM Flag For Abuse

14. This is an awesome commentary to read - thank you so much! I JUST, literally just today, found our we're expecting #2 and I had 5 months of pretty severe post partum after #1 (who is an amazing and adventurous 1 year old lil' monkey). After the initial joy of having a sibling for the lil' guy wore off this morning, I'm just realizing "holy cow!" how are we going to survive PPD with a toddler and a newborn in the house. The biggest damage from bout #1 was to my marriage and we've worked really hard to minimize the scarring my husband felt during those months but I'm still really scared. Appreciate the solidarity.

    posted by : Gmom on 8/1/2008 at 11:22 AM Flag For Abuse

15. There are great new antidepressant drugs out there, and they save lives. One problem though-- some people react badly to some antidepressants. I've had experiences similar to another commenter here, where a particular drug increased my symptoms instead of reducing them. Just to be clear here, by "increasing symptoms" I mean I went in a few weeks from vague thoughts of suicide to taking steps towards actually doing it. I had a similar, though less severe, experience later with a different drug from the same class of antidepressants. Luckily, I got it together enough both times to recognize that the suicidal thoughts were the drug talking, and told my doctor. She put me on a different class of drug, and voila! it worked wonders. When you start on a new drug, keep your spouse or somebody else you trust in the loop about how you're feeling; if you feel like it's making things worse, talk to them, and to your doctor, right away.

    posted by : ammm on 9/29/2008 at 7:28 PM Flag For Abuse

16. Thanks for the article. I found it very helpful. I have had depressive episodes in the past, and have two immediate family members on prozac. I'm aware that I am at a slightly higher risk for PPD. It is good to know that there is help.

    posted by : mchaos on 1/12/2009 at 9:37 PM Flag For Abuse

17. Thank you so much for sharing your story and to all the others who have left comments doing the same.  I still feel so much guilt for missing all the magical moments of the first few weeks of my son's life (which is ridiculous, but nonetheless...) because of my crippling post partum depression.  I am crazy in love with him and we're in a really good place now, but I had to do it with the help of a low dosage of Zoloft.  Otherwise, well, I don't know that I'd be alive to write this.  I had the same seemingly calm suicidal thoughts as the author, right down to figuring out who I should alert to come and get the baby while I carried my plan out.  It was awful - the absolute worst time of my life coupled with the absolute best.  I've never been so happy and so miserable at the same time.  My family tried to help, but they were so scared to say anything about what we all could clearly see - I wasn't myself and I needed to get help.  Fortunately they are all 100% supportive of my decision to get on meds.  I hope to not have to take them forever, but I will if it means the difference between all day crying jags (of mine own, not the baby's - his I can take!) and a happy, productive mother.  Thank God we live in an age where this topic, this illness is more out in the open than ever.  I wish all of you, all of US, happy and healthy lives.

    posted by : Chimom on 5/22/2009 at 2:32 PM Flag For Abuse