feedback for "Parental Advisory: Crowning Glory"

1. I agree that most parents will feel differently in the moment. My boyfriend and I didn't discuss whether he would watch the birth or not before hand, but my older sister (also in the delivery room) was concerned he couldn't handle it. He was actually awesome, he held my legs up during my delivery and was smiling the entire time. I however didn't want to see the birth actually occurring. I wasn't offered a mirror, but I didn't ask for one either. The idea of seeing it happen didn't appeal to me, I thought I would react much like when you hurt yourself, but don't feel pain until you actually see the wound. I also didn't feel the need to see what I could already feel happening to my body. My boyfriend didn't have any issues with sex after the birth. Maybe that's because he's had previous girlfriends in the past with children or because he could disassociate my pregnancy and the birth of our daughter from my vagina and it's purpose during sex.
   

   posted by : dhsredhead on 12/5/2007 at 2:22 PM Flag For Abuse

2. In order to get my husband anywhere near the delivery room, I had to agree far in advance of the birth that he could stay up near my head and wouldn't have to see or do anything at all, except hold my hand. I hadn't given any thought at all to whether I would see it myself.     On the big night, everything was going just as we planned--except for the 21-hour drug-induced labor and subsequent epidural to ward of the those crazy unnatural contractions (never again!). I was finally dilated enough that the doctor came in.      From that point on, my husband, magically, metamorphosed into an active participant. He still wasn't looking, but boy was he helping, asking questions, encouraging me along.     Then, entirely by chance and just as the doctors said the head was crowning, I happened to glance up near the ceiling, where a TV was mounted on the opposite wall. It was off, and in the dark reflection, I could see everything. I said, "Oh my god, I can see the head!" My husband said "Where? Where?" I pointed. He said Oh my god that's amazing!"     And as the sterile white sheets and blue scrubs exploded into a kaleidescope of blood and skin and hair and meconium--our beautiful baby girl-- my husband watched every last moment of it, right down to the postpartm stitches.     Amazing as it sounds, it hasn't hurt our sex life one bit.

   posted by : DeeEss on 12/5/2007 at 9:54 PM Flag For Abuse

3. 
   yeah, my husband and i contemplated this question prior to the birth of our first child earlier this year. i was fairly confident -- and still am -- that there are some parts of me my husband never needs to see. no matter how much of a miracle it is, i didn't suddenly become any less squimish during labor.
   i insisted that my husband to stay near my head during labor and during the emergency c-section we ultimately had. regardless, i'm sure he saw more of me than either of us would prefer! The mirror thing would be totally out of the question. i remember cracking up when i read that in some online thing while i was pregnant. no thanks! good luck!
   
   

   posted by : jenradcliffe on 12/5/2007 at 10:20 PM Flag For Abuse

4. I wish I could've had a mirror for my planned C-section (a veteran of many surgeries and other medical indignities, I'm about as squeamish as a surgeon), but the room just wasn't set up for it.
   
   So my tall husband had to watch over the sterile drape and give me a play-by-play.
   "They're cutting you open!"
   "No way. No one's even touching me."
   "The heck you say! Oh WOW!!!  This is SO COOL!!!!!"
   "WHAT!!! WHAAAT!!! TELL ME!!!!!!"
   
   So he got to see what was left of my guts, my uterus, and a first look at our little girl!
   
   
   

   posted by : jenseju on 12/7/2007 at 3:38 PM Flag For Abuse

5. It seems a little "junior highish" for a man (or woman) to want to completely avoid seeing the delivery of your own child. If my husband had bargained with me on what he was and wasn't going to do in the delivery room there would be hell to pay! The only thing he was guaranteed of was that I was the one who was actually giving birth! I've heard the whole "ruining the sex life" angle and think it is nonsense. If my hubby wasn't adult enough to handle the delivery then how on earth would he handle being a father? Now, there are definitely things that are off limits... I would never have him watch a pap smear or a trip to the potty (#1 or #2!!!). We have been married for 6 years this month and have one child and I have never even farted in front of him but this is something else entirely. It is not a gross bodily function or an embarrassing disease - it is a MIRACLE and should be treated as such! Of course, this is all my humble opinion... ha ha! :)

   posted by : Jacks Mama on 3/19/2008 at 5:55 PM Flag For Abuse

6. I view my farts as a miracle, too, and always make sure my husband is on hand to treat them as such.

   posted by : dutch oven on 4/21/2008 at 12:53 AM Flag For Abuse

7. My husband was one of those that forgot the plan, jumped down there at the last minute to look. If I had been in a little less pain I would have ripped his eyes out of his head. His attraction for me hasn't waned, but I know it made an impact. Everytime the subject of birth or pregnancy arises he brings it up all wide eyed, like he's describing this freak thing that happened once..not an everyday, uneventful birth.
   
   that girl
   http://heyyourememberme.blogspot.com

   posted by : that girl on 6/16/2008 at 12:40 PM Flag For Abuse

8. My husband was thrilled from the beginning at the prospect of watching the whole birth. He was the one massaging my back and helping me breathe through the first hours of labor, the one helping me turn from side to side in the bed after the epidural, the one kissing my forehead and holding my hand as the contractions increased in intensity. Then, at the end, he was the one holding my legs and cheering me on as I pushed, and he was watching every minute of our daughter being born. He even took pictures so I could see what he saw, which was amazing! He was the first one to hold her, no gloves or anything, and was not intimidated by the blood/placenta/unidentified body fluids all over the place. I felt so blessed to have him as my support! I would definitely encourage all guys to step it up, challenge yourself a bit, and watch the miracle of birth.

   posted by : teddygram on 2/7/2009 at 1:25 AM Flag For Abuse

9. I don't want to see it, and neither does he.  It's miraculous that a child gets born, but the process is thoroughly biological.  I don't watch surgeries on tv either.  When I had my head scanned for cracks after a concussion I had no interest in seeing a picture of my own skull.  During my infertility treatment they checked my fallopian tubes for holes and I could see them on the monitor as the dye moved through them.  Still gross.  For some medical procedures are cool, and for some they are gross.   Natural or not, some people put birth in medical procedure catagory - way too gross to have to look at.
   

   posted by : Marjorie Dudley on 3/22/2009 at 9:08 PM Flag For Abuse