feedback for "Parental Advisory: Social Anxiety"

1. I don't agree with this. I think once a child is about one or so, they need interaction with other children their own age. I guess it is natural to compare children, but many of my friends have children who reached milestones earlier then mine and while I wonder sometimes why my daughter isn't as quick to learn, seeing her in a peer environment proves to me that in many ways she is on target. She has also always interacted with other children. I think part of this is that we have always encouraged her to interact with children and adults and allowed her to do very social things that require communication. It wasn't hard for me to find playmates for my daughter. There is a parenting group that meets once a month that we take her to, my boyfriend takes her to an on site daycare at his gym and were now taking her to a daycare next to our house for a few hours while I am working. We also have found playmates at our local playground, where I started taking my daughter just to play on the swings and get some sun, not looking for a playmate. Interaction between adults is pretty simple, I just talk about cute the other person's kid is.
   

   posted by : dhsredhead on 1/9/2008 at 3:11 PM Flag For Abuse

2. Totally disagree... year old children DO interact with each other. It's the start of social skills. They learn to share. They learn they actually are not the center of the whole entire universe. They watch each other and learn new ways to play and new skills. It seems a baby can watch mommy or daddy put the shapes in the correct holes a thousand times and never do it themselves.... but play beside little Johny that knows how to do it and all of a sudden it's easy.   As for the "comparing" of children.... thats totally up to you. Believe it or not, most parents couldn't care less if your kid is ahead or behind theirs and neither should you.

   posted by : rikkicarey on 1/9/2008 at 3:48 PM Flag For Abuse

3. Ugh, the term "playdate" still sets my teeth on edge even though I still do them, technically.  2 cents: at this age it's more about you than the baby.  If it would be more stressful than enjoyable to get together with other moms, then don't bother - enjoy your time at home together.  The most common reason given for joining the group I belong to was for the moms to make friends (and heck yeah that's why I joined), but not everybody cares to.  Small kids will play with whoever is there (and the 1 year olds do play with each other, even if a lot of it is taking toys and trying to stick fingers in each other's mouths).  If she's in daycare, which I am presuming because you talked about being at work, then she gets PLENTY of interaction with other kids.
   

   posted by : Chiara on 1/9/2008 at 5:53 PM Flag For Abuse

4. playdates at this age are for the parents. it's a wonderful thing for parents at home to have social contacts with other parents. do the children need this time? i doubt it. if this "play date" time means mommy (or daddy, in the rare instance) is happier, feels more connected to the outside world, that's good for everybody. but if mommy (or daddy) chooses to instead spend the time alone with the child, forming a deep bond, etc, and is expected to then feel that she (or he) is failing the child in some way, then ONCE AGAIN this is the culture of anxiety invading the sanctuary of your home. this generation of parents seems to spend so much time thinking and so little time doing. these years are fleeting. RELAX. trust yourself. "I wonder sometimes why my daughter isn't as quick to learn, seeing her in a peer environment proves to me that in many ways she is on target." this worries me. i am the mother of four boys. have been doing this for a while now (oldest 11, youngest 4 months) and i truly believe that our worst enemy as mothers is this sort of over-analysis. we're so busy worrying about failing that we can't see when we succeed.    

   posted by : learnbygoing on 1/9/2008 at 11:19 PM Flag For Abuse

5. My son is 19 months old and we haven't done any real "playdates" ... but we do live near a coffee shop with a kids' play area in the back and he goes there with me, my husband, or (when we had one) his nanny several times a week since he was about a year old. Sometimes he's the only kid there, other times there are other children of various ages. His interactions have improved (from initially grabbing or slapping other kids, to reaching out and touching gently, or my favorite moment--taking turns stacking rings with another boy about his age). The great thing about this arrangement is that there's no stress: we go there on our own schedule and leave when we're ready to leave, and it doesn't matter if we like (or even talk much) with the other parents there, but it exposes my son to other children in a way that playgrounds typically don't. I don't know how it is in other places, but where I live (Seattle) there are several cafes and coffee shops with kids' play areas like this.

   posted by : raincitykitty on 1/10/2008 at 1:48 PM Flag For Abuse

6. This seems like the sort of thing that would be more important during the "toddler" stage.
   

   posted by : Dave on 1/15/2008 at 2:46 AM Flag For Abuse