feedback for "Rules of the Game"

1. "Would your daughter like to ask my son to share his bucket? I'm sure they'd have fun playing with it together."
   You must be kidding?
   

   posted by : spartic99 on 1/3/2008 at 12:02 AM Flag For Abuse

2. With all due respect I think the concept of "Playground Etiquette" is crazy.  If someone said, "would your daughter like to ask my son yadda-yadda" I would simply say, "Why don't you ask her?"  What the hell?  Helicoptering at its worst!  And pitching that fastball from the older baseball wielding kids?  Um - sounds like the author might have a little temper issue.  I've clocked hundreds of hours at the playground with kids ages six months thru nearly ten.  Sometimes there's rotten behavior.  Sometimes kids scream about sharing and get hauled off.  Sometimes I have to pull my own kid off the slide (which he wants to climb up, instead of slide down) when a toddler is waiting to go down.  Sometimes I pack them all up and say sternly, "Well.  We've had enough, haven't we?"  No negotiating - Yes I explain why we are leaving, but I do not give in.  I have no trouble asking unfamiliar (and familiar) kids to quit throwing sand.  I have no trouble pointing out to a parent on the sidelines that her/his kid is being a terrorist.  If they don't like it, tough.  Don't cower or compromise!  And make sure when your velvety haired toddler gets bigger you hold him to the same high standards.

   posted by : BBBGMOM on 1/3/2008 at 2:40 PM Flag For Abuse

3. What a terrible and alienating thing to experience.  While I am not sure this poster did the right thing in either case, I do think that standing up to misbehavior and confronting the parents would be a good thing to do.   What better way to show your child the difference between right and wrong and how to appropriately deal with both?  Let's figure it this way, you approach the parent alerting them to their child misbehaving- then it is their choice what to do.  If they choose nothing, then you can intervene by taking the offending child by the hand, walking him to his parents and making it clear that this will not be tolerated or moving your child to a further area out of the other parents comfort zone should their kid go into hot pursuit.   This will surely show your child that standing ones ground is ok and it'll show the other parents that you are aware and willing to stand your ground.  Simply removing your child due to anothers childs bad behaviour isn't fair to your young one.   The older kids?  I would have approached them personally and quietly.   Best wishes,   Gideon    

   posted by : ToysNYC on 1/4/2008 at 2:30 PM Flag For Abuse

4. Playgrounds are not that hard.  You generally find a balance between hands-off and gentle prompting to share, not throw, etc.   The trickiest part is what you say to kids who are not your own.  Since you don't know how other parents prefer to do their parenting, the less you say the better.   I don't parent other kids unless they do something severe.  Like throw a baseball at my kid's head.  Although I would offer that screaming and cursing is really not very constructive. :)    Your first reaction should be to look to the offending parent, who 99% of the time will be appropriately mortified and correct their child.  If they don't, then all bets are off and you can make a snarky remark.   I don't really even manage my own son on the playground except to sometimes prompt him to share and stop him from engaging in bad behavior like hitting, throwing, etc.

   posted by : k1 on 1/4/2008 at 3:28 PM Flag For Abuse

5. i can understand somewhat how alienating the playground can be.  one day i went to the playground and there was this little girl, who couldn't have been more than 5or so singled out my son (who was about 2) to push around and block from going to the slide.  which was ok, I went up and followed him around on the jungle gym because I didn't want him to fall.  when I asked her to let him go down, she said some nasty things to me and made some comments about my son (who had cleft lip surgery when he was younger-- i'm a bit sensitive) she also tried to pinch me as well as spit at me.  so I took my son to another part of the playground, which she followed. her mom paid no attention to her until she was blocking my son from going up the stairs to which her mom passed of as her child not seeing my son... rather than her purposely pushing him almost down the stairs.  needless to say, eventually, i just left the playground.  after i picked up my infant son (in the carseat still) she followed me to my car and looked in at my younger son dare i say evilly... (it was kind of spooky.)  i have since recovered and have not had any problems since (nor have I seen that little girl again).  so just deal with it.. as long as your kids aren't in life threatening danger, it will pass, most likely they'll forget about any trauma that may have occurred and move on with their lives.  we, as parents will probably remember it more than they will. 

   posted by : smileygirl on 1/4/2008 at 8:47 PM Flag For Abuse

6. Most of the time, parents will appropriately deal with their own children. BUT in the cases when they don't.... I have to say, being a teacher makes playground ettiquette much easier. I have no issues approaching another parent's child, if they don't do so themselves. I deal with 26 seven and eight year olds on a daily basis, nineteen of whom are boys. AND I deal with their parents' as well. I have no fear.

   posted by : Briarbell on 1/26/2008 at 11:19 PM Flag For Abuse