feedback for "Cry, Cry, Cry"
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AMEN! lol. I came across your article just now after getting a google alert for 'colic'. When my son was 'colicky' (which is a term I don't really like - colicky suggests a few hours of crying in the evenings, with Sammy he cried and screamed all day long), we felt very isolated and like no one really understood how overwhelming it was.
At the risk of being blatantly self-promotional, check out the website I started...I found all the sites out there talked about the symptoms of colic, but not one discussed in any depth the practical and emotional issues surrounding having a colicky or 'fussy' baby. www.fussybaby.ca
Fabulous article!
Holly
posted by : FussyBaby on 2/18/2008 at 12:14 PM Flag For Abuse
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Colic completely soured my experience as a new parent. Nothing is more isolating than beginning this journey with a partner who screams at you all day (the baby, not my husband.) In fact, I remember those first four months after my daughter was born as some of the darkest, most tear-filled in my life. The only thing that helped me was knowing a friend of mine whose son had been the same way as an infant. He turned out completely normal, so I had faith that it would end. In the meantime, I just had to live through it.
I'm pregnant again and part of me (all of me?) is afraid that we'll go through this again--this time while trying to wrangle a 3-year-old at the same time. The possibility of colic is THE only aspect of having this baby that I'm actually terrified of.
One thing I wish I had tried for my daughter was probiotics. I've heard that moms who get antibiotics (b/c of group B strep, for example) during labor can often deliver babies w/ an overgrowth of yeast in their digestive tracts. My daughter had thrush and yeast diaper rash, so really, all the signs were there. This time around, I may just go with the infant probiotics from the get-go just to be on the safe side.
posted by : NoVa Mommy on 2/18/2008 at 2:57 PM Flag For Abuse
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Try the Amby Baby. Yes, it costs a couple of hundred dollars, but holy cow it really made things bearable for colicky baby number two in our house. It's not a miracle, but it gives you some control. I know nothing works for every baby, but for us, this thing was the ticket.
posted by : Survived It Twice on 2/18/2008 at 8:26 PM Flag For Abuse
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I think it is important message for parents to hear that sometimes a baby will cry no matter what they try...and it isn't the parents' fault. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try to do things to make the babies' entry into the world easier. Even if they don't stop crying, you're still sending the right message. What it DOES mean is that if you are an attentive, loving parent and your baby still cries, it is not your fault if your baby keeps crying.
Maybe getting that message out will reduce some of the depression new parents feel when their baby is colicky.
And isn't it sad today that our social networks are in such shambles that we have to assign social workers to stressed-out parents instead of just having grandparents, aunts and uncles, and friends nearby? I mean, thank goodness for any support, but wouldn't it be nice if some of that "old fashioned" family and neighborhood structure were still intact?
posted by : CaliMama on 2/19/2008 at 3:57 PM Flag For Abuse
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You mean that not only did we have the crying-ist twins around, but that they have a 1 in 5 chance of being ADHD, too? Oh goodie!
posted by : RMommy on 2/19/2008 at 4:42 PM Flag For Abuse
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I feel for you all ... we experienced maybe a half dozen evenings during which our first child was inconsolable, and they almost killed us.
posted by : chattydaddy on 2/19/2008 at 9:20 PM Flag For Abuse
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My first was an easy easy baby - maybe 5 times of crying inconsolably in his first year. But before I sound too smug, everyone warned us number 2 would be different... they were not even close - months and months and months of unmitigated hell. He's almost 14 months now and he's turned into a good little sleeper but what was said about sensitivity and passion - that's my Luc. He's extremely picky about food and I think it's a texture thing, but he sleeps 10 - 12 hours straight through at night so I count my blessings. I look back on that last year and shudder - there I was, in dingy government housing north of sixty with
-40 celsius weather, by myself alot because my husband travels for work, with a 2.5 year old bewildered boy, a dying, aging dog and a screaming, writhing, inconsolable infant. No family, no close friends, about as lonely as a human being can get. And sad - what a horrible way to start out in life - I was sad for Luc, for his brother and myself - and mad at his father for being able to get out of hell so often. The only bright light in all of that was a secretary of my husbands - she would call me once in a while and offer to walk the floor while I took our poor old dog for a walk - 45 minutes of peace under the northern sky was just what I needed to bear myself up for another descent into hell. When I think about that time, I think about her kindness and compassion and promise myself that when I'm well through this, I will "pay it forward" and walk the floor with someone else's infant so they too can breathe in peace and quiet, if only for an hour or so...
posted by : Lisaloo on 2/20/2008 at 1:33 PM Flag For Abuse
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Ok so I hate the term colic too because it basically stands for "cranky baby" in most people's minds. Unless they've been through it themselves they just don't understand that it can mean SO much more. My son was cranky from birth and got increasingly more demanding at around 6 weeks. My husband and I were at each other's throats. We'd prepared (we thought) and read Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr Karp before our son was born and yes some of the time those techniques worked. but what Dr Karp never explains is how to put your baby down after they've been soothed. We'd rock and pacify and swaddle and shush and do whatever else necessary but the second we stopped any one of those things it was like opening the flood gates. We even figured out our son had Acid Reflux and so had him on Zantac and Prilosec for months but it didn't solve all the problems. He didn't start to settle down until he was almost 5 months old. He still has major freak out fits now so I do believe that colic is related to some emotional center. It was the hardest time on us as a couple and me as a new mother. I just didnt' feel the connection to him because ALL of my energy was focused on getting him to calm down. Not to mention the fact that since I had to hold him for him to sleep I was getting almost no sleep every night. I wore a path down our hallway with all my walking and bouncing every night. If anyone I know ever has to deal with this with their newborn, I'll so be there to help them through. It is so lonely when you don't have support.
posted by : survivor mom on 2/20/2008 at 6:31 PM Flag For Abuse
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As a single parent,I nearly lost my mind when my daughter had colic for the first five months of her life. Bouncing her up and down for hours every night doesn't sound so bad but, boy, it was unbelievably lonely and torturous. I would often be crying and crying myself and hardly able to keep awake while her screaming went on and on for hours. In the end I happened upon a doctor who prescribed Bovine Colostrum and the colic went away over night! I was beside myself with happiness! He put it down tot he antibiotics I had to take when I had some issues with a retained placenta. I had to give it to her everyday three times for a couple months but the colic was cured immediately and never came back....Wouldn't wish it on anyone! Colostrum is certainly worth a try..
posted by : kowhai on 2/20/2008 at 7:52 PM Flag For Abuse
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I have colicky twins and a three-year-old. Talk about hell. It may be the worst thing I've ever experienced. My twins cry off and on but mostly on from about 5 to 10 p.m. every night. And during the day they are crying on and off as well. They constantly need to be held but even that doesn't console them much of the time. If I had this with my first daughter I don't think I would've had another child. And shit, I've now got TWO more.
It really does seem sometimes like I'm going crazy and it does make it tough to bond. But I just keep telling myself it's temporary. It's temporary. It's temporary. And soon, hopefully, I'll believe it.
posted by : Writermom on 2/24/2008 at 12:59 AM Flag For Abuse
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I hear you. My daughter was diagnosed with acid reflux...the meds (prevacid) did the trick, but I have been completely turned off on having another. Betwee the "colic" and the post-partum depression, I couldn't survive the first 4-5 months of another baby. Looks like she'll be an only child!
posted by : onlychildmom on 2/24/2008 at 10:56 PM Flag For Abuse
