feedback for "Baby vs Career"

1. I have a baby and was very moved by this reminder that one day he will come swaggering into the room on his own steam. Lovely essay.

   posted by : amyadams on 5/19/2008 at 6:23 PM Flag For Abuse

2. I was comforted by this essay in many ways. I am the mother of a toddler and an aspiring novelist. I also feel like I will always have a baby, like I will always have 99% of my time devoted to her, like I will never again have the time I need to publish. For me, though, it was encouraging to hear that you DO wake up to find that you can be "you." I feel encouraged that I will be able to write again. Thanks

   posted by : afajardo on 5/19/2008 at 10:23 PM Flag For Abuse

3. I have an almost-4 and almost-17 months and I just came back from my first weekend-to-myself in almost-4 years. As a stay-at-home mom, I am the wife of a man who has an all-encompassing, very demanding career and, when he isn't running off to command cetres to oversee some crisis or on the telephone with a subordinate who is in crisis, he is off on a golf, fishing or sailing trip to "rejuvenate" himself. So, I obviously needed some time to think about where I am in all of this and what my short and long term goals are. I take some solace in the fact that it didn't take me ten years to come to terms with my disappearing self, but still, finding meaning in the mundane daily tasks of child-rearing and housekeeping can be taxing. My answer is in developing my often-dormant creative side and to give expression to that through art quilts. I now see this as an opportunity to go in new directions, directions that I would never have thought of exploring prior to having children. I think I'll read your book!

   posted by : Lisaloo on 5/20/2008 at 9:14 AM Flag For Abuse

4. You know, I was interested in this article because of its title. In some ways I was a little surprised to find an essay on babble with such a cliched title, but I did expect a very informed view, and what a fabulous read it was. I have an 11 month old, and have just returned to work. I have been aware that I am lucky to 'make a decision' to go back to work, as not everyone is fortunate to have this choice. I am very glad that I have done it as I strongly need a role outside the home. I have never been very domesticated. I admire women or men who are stay-at-home parents, as I think they must have a strong sense of themselves to be 'fulfilled' (I can't think of another word!) by domesticity.

   posted by : muommy on 5/20/2008 at 2:43 PM Flag For Abuse

5. "You know, I was interested in this article because of its title. In some ways I was a little surprised to find an essay on babble with such a cliched title"
   
   Hahahaha!
   
   Really? Wow. I wasn't.

   posted by : Underwhelmed Again on 5/20/2008 at 7:16 PM Flag For Abuse

6. Holy mother effing crap. A great article. I am beyond sold on the book now. Thanks for writing this.

   posted by : FannyBrownRice on 5/21/2008 at 2:49 PM Flag For Abuse

7. This was a balanced and insightful look at the stay-at-home phenomenon, but I am continually puzzled by the use of false dichotomies such as the one inherent in this sentence: "I went by the easy assumption that someone who worked was by nature more interesting than someone who didn't."
   
   Mothers work. Of course, you may object, "Of course they do work, but they don't WORK." But I still object to the assumption that the work of a mother is only technically work, and can't be classified as a profession demanding energy, intelligence, curiosity, devotion, and even ambition. Does a nanny or daycare worker become magically more interesting than a mother because they devote their time and energy to the children of others? Do life coaches become intrinsically more fascinating because they give their emotional, mental, and physical support to strangers instead of family members? Are literacy volunteers inherently better suited for dinner conversation because they teach reading without juggling a toddler, an infant, and dinner?
   
   I don't know, maybe from your perspective the answer to these questions is "Yes." I'm glad you came to question your easy assumptions and I sincerely hope others will not make such prejudicial judgements at all, instead understanding that, while giving birth may be a reflexive act, successful long-term mothering can demand just as much intelligence and skill as any other profession.

   posted by : Erin K on 5/21/2008 at 5:50 PM Flag For Abuse

8. Am I missing something? This essay doesn't really pack the punch of the headline "Baby vs Career" at all. It kinds of waffles literarily around the question. Still, I bought the book. I'm curious.
   
   I am a work-from-home-part-time-mom who plans to ramp back on when my daughter is 3 or 4...OR develop my business full time at that point. I think babies are best served by having one primary, preferably parental, caretaker...and if we as mothers can look deeply within ourselves, fulfillment is there to be found in being that caretaker. For me, it's amazing. Pretty challenging at times, but amazing.

   posted by : ajpmaman on 5/21/2008 at 8:58 PM Flag For Abuse

9. I will tell you the truth: as a father the idea that my wife would do nothing but care for our kids scares the hell out of me. I would support her in whatever she wants to do, of course, and I have little doubt that it would be good for our child in the near term. But in the long run no matter how rewarding the stay at home mom experience is, those mothers do not get validation from the outside world that they are powerful, or engaged in a productive way, and as a consequence they gradually become petty and resentful and annoying (ok, perhaps not true of all of them, but true of my wonderful mother and many other wonderful women I have seen over the years). You can say this is a societal problem -- if we all treated teachers and stay at home moms with more reverence, they would be more fulfilled. Perhaps. But I think that it's an unnatural state -- throughout most of human history mothers did other critical things like made soap and clothes, killed chickens, and so on. It has only been possible for mothers to do nothing but tend to kids in the last century. The biggest gift we can give to our children, I believe, is the example of deeply fulfilled parents who are engaged with the world and validated by their work. This is my perspective anyway.

   posted by : poppasay on 5/23/2008 at 9:12 PM Flag For Abuse