My best friend has no kids, and I am the mother of a three year old and pregnant with my second. That makes me the Jodi in this equation and as her let me just say that it's absolutely do-able to remain friends, as close as now though somewhat differently, once your friend has her baby.
Before you start counting back from 9, as in pregnancy months, bear in mind that, the baby brain change does not happen to everyone right away. In some active, independant people like Jodi (and me) it can take up to 2 or 3 years before motherhood kicks into the noggin full time. The first year, for example, is basically like not having a child, only you need to stay at home more. Unless she has a very fussy baby, kids are the easiest in their first year. Portable, they sleep a lot and they stay where you put them playing with thier feet. Easy. You can go through that whole year shouting with relief that so little has changed in your friendship and even lifestyle. As kids start walking, exploring, and learn to talk, they demand more active attention which means going out to eat and other friend activities become much more difficult to pull off. The fact that there is a third person along becomes much harder to ignore.
The challenge then is to either become the Best Ever Auntie and befriend your friend's child, or become the Escape Hatch. The BEA will pull you into kid land for all the fun that kid land gives to adults without the tedious, frustrating parts of being a parent. If you go this route, you will be a lifesaver for your friend who will need your help often and remain an intimate, irreplacable part of your friends life and family. But this road is not for everone. The EH role is closer to what you have now in form. You remain the drinking, bikeriding, skiing buddy that gives your friend a sense that she has not lost herself to motherhood and gives her much needed relief and breathing space from her all encompassing family. But more often then not, these types of activities, though in some ways more important then ever, will be far fewer and farther in between.
Either way, a true friendship is tough to smote. Especially if you are open to some modification. :-)
