feedback for "Parental Advisory: Suspicious Minds"

1. I was the one with the superstition, and all we bought in advance of the baby's arrival was the car seat-stroller combo and a bottle of detergent. We received a very few gifts before the birth, and my parents held onto a pack-and-play that was loaned by some of their friends. Once I gave birth to my daughter, there was plenty of time (even in this day and age!) to send people out for essential clothing and supplies, wash them in baby detergent, and get the whole shebang set up at the house for our arrival.
   
   Then, because I couldn't resist (especially while on bed rest) registering online (at a store named after a large South American river) for items I thought we'd want, we had a whole list of items to buy or be given once the kibosh was lifted. Honestly, even though I didn't have a baby shower, I didn't miss it, because we still were given more than 50% of the stuff we thought we'd need. It worked out just fine.
   
   Let it go and trust your husband. If he feels strongly enough about the tradition that he's voiced it as a concern to you, respect it. After all, it's part of how he's expressing his worries about your health and well being at this time, as well as his hopes for the future. Us moms aren't the only ones with anxiety, and I think superstitions like this one are a coping mechanism for pragmatists.

   posted by : effective nancy on 7/16/2008 at 9:37 AM Flag For Abuse

2. On the other hand...my friend's sister was the one with the kibosh on buying baby crap. And what happened? My friend broke her wrist right before the baby was born. So after her nephew arrived, I was stuck helping my friend run all these baby errands, setting up the crib, putting the car seat in the car, etc., etc. And I don't even like her sister.

   posted by : k8m on 7/16/2008 at 11:08 AM Flag For Abuse

3. I did not buy anything for our baby before the safe arrival of our daughter. My husband was mystified but accepted it. All baby gifts that we received were stowed out of sight in the attic (we'd've kept things at my mother's house but she lives too far away). We did not set up the baby's room at all until after the baby came. We brought her home, and then began to set it up, and frankly, everything was perfectly fine. I maintained a (maybe crazy, maybe not) Jewish tradition/superstition, and the baby was born healthy, and life went on. To be honest I've never understood why people make so much fuss over nurseries. The newborn totally does not give a crap. It must be about parental lunacy.
   Some friends did throw me a baby shower, which I thought was sweet, but it was rather outside my experience... friends were surprised when my mother didn't attend the shower, but relatives understood.
   Perhaps the superstition about not buying things before the baby comes would be useful in today's world to keep people from acquiring pointless baby gadgetry. Just a thought.

   posted by : gefiltefishgadfly on 7/16/2008 at 2:00 PM Flag For Abuse

4. I put aside all the silly superstitions and just made our house baby ready. The idea of having to put together a crib while still nursing sore nether regions and nips is not my idea of relaxing and getting to know my baby.
   What you need those first few weeks is rest and relaxation, not one more thing to worry about.

   posted by : spartic on 7/16/2008 at 3:10 PM Flag For Abuse

5. I belong to the superstitious camp. Yes, we purchased a carseat since that was a requirement for discharge. No, we did not install it until after the baby got here. After each child arrived safely (three out of four did) I dispatched the husband to pick up a pack of newborn diapers. We didn't use the crib until baby was a couple of months old so that didn't matter. A good friend brought over her "Moses basket" for baby numero uno and we used that for each one when they were tiny. I rented the breastpump at my post-partum check-up. Sure we received gifts and clothes before delivery, but we waited until baby came home to open/wash them. In my opinion the only thing you need to get your house baby-ready is a big bag of diapers and some clean bedding and washcloths. All of those items can be purchased/prepared by hubby/partner or good friend while mom and baby are still in the hospital. I felt good enough to do the laundry the day I got home, though, admittedly, I was not quite up for the Target run.

   posted by : BBBGMOM on 7/17/2008 at 10:35 AM Flag For Abuse

6. I did not buy much stuff before my babies were born (just laziness more than anything else, I suppose). However, the more I live, the more the superstition thing makes sense. I know at least 4 people who lost their babies at 35 weeks gestation or more. Looking at all the baby crap when you're not bringing one home would have been unbearable. Even in our times of modern medicine, it's not over until you have a live breathing baby in your arms.

   posted by : MfromB on 7/20/2008 at 11:52 PM Flag For Abuse

7. I'm dealing with Jewish superstition by wearing a hamsa pendant at all times. That way I can do all of the pre-baby preperations and still be protected from the evil eye!

   posted by : kcalpert on 7/22/2008 at 11:41 AM Flag For Abuse

8. I agree with BBBGMOM, alot of Jewish ritual and tradition is based on practicality, while some might say it's a superstition involving the evil eye, the more practical side is that miscarriages happen, even late in pregnancy and not all babies come home from the hospital. As I always understood it, this tradition protects parents from the anguish of having all that baby stuff, but no baby.

   posted by : CarrieGrey on 7/22/2008 at 5:15 PM Flag For Abuse